Rehab
by Frotu
Summary: COMPLETE Haldir's agreed to take on the task of rehabilitating Sauron out of his evil ways, but Sauron isn't going down without a fight! Chap 40, in which everything is concluded!
1. Haldir's Assignment

Well, I did finally get around to editing it like I said I would. I decided that I'll only repost the first seven chapters or so. Most of that is just cleaning it up grammatically anyway, and, after a while, there wasn't as much of that to do. My main purpose in doing this was to make the tone and characterizations of the beginning a bit more compatible with the latter part of the story.

I did, however, rework this first passage completely and I have added a scene to chapter 37, although I don't suppose it's the most humorous thing in the world. Still, it had been something I meant to include the first time around. So, there you go, if anybody is interested!

* * *

Sauron was quite comfortably situated in Barad-dur, looking out to where the Army of the West was gathered in its pathetic attempt to draw him forth. Naturally, he had no intention of going out to battle when he had thousands of minions whom were perfectly capable of handling the task on their own.

Although for a moment he paused and considered the fact that he was not entirely convinced of the capabilities of his minions, Sauron reassured himself in that there _were _thousands of them, and what they lacked in wit was made up for in numbers.

He amused himself with the rather comical -- to him, at least -- scene that was playing out, but quickly bored of it. After all, it had been a rather lengthy game that he had played with those in the west, and he was ready to put his floundering opponents out of their misery.

The signal was given for the gates to be opened and the forces that had been waiting flooded out upon the plain.

Allowing a dark smile to creep upon his lips at the carnage, Sauron wondered to himself about what he would do first once the opposition was completely obliterated. There were many options, all of which were practically begging for his attention. But there would be time, all the time in the world, in a world that would be his.

At that moment, however, he became keenly aware that a feeling of overwhelming anxiety seemed to have washed away whatever fancies of horrific glory he had been perusing. It was a rather disconcerting sensation to have settle over his thoughts right as he believed his victory to be complete.

Whatever could it mean? It seemed that his very existence was at stake, although there was no justification for that reaction. After all, the only way that anything could happen to him would be if the Ring were to reach the Cracks of Doom--

Suddenly, everything became clear. Practically leaping from his seat and nearly tripping over his robes, Sauron rushed to a west-facing window to look towards Orodruin, instantly recognizing his peril. His every thought turned towards the recovery of his Ring, the battle completely forgotten.

The Nazgul were quickly nearing the volcano when Sauron realized that something very very very bad had just occurred, or would in mere moments. He had been aware of one presence controlling the Ring, but this had suddenly changed to another. That had been fine; he didn't particularly care who had it, as it would make little difference once the Ringwraiths caught up with the person. This, however, had changed as well, and there was nothing else he could tell except that it had turned out badly.

He leaned against the wall, aware of what would happen imminently, and swore as he always had when faced with the realization that he was going to be disembodied. Again.

I:I:I:I

Haldir was sitting with a very dull expression on his face as he looked across the circle of chairs at the elf who was having a complete conniption fit. This elf was crying hysterically in a very undignified manner, white tears falling down his ghostly face. Haldir didn't do anything to help him. Neither did the other twelve people seated in the circle.

Finally, he decided that everybody had been exposed to quite enough of this torture for the time being. "For the love of Eru, shut up Feanor!" he cried.

The elf stopped abruptly, paused, sniffed a little while looking at Haldir with vague surprise. Everybody held their breath for a moment, as this was going better than it usually did. Haldir sighed.

Then Feanor completely lost it again. "B-b-but I'm the most gifted of the Eldar!" he sobbed indignantly. "And he stole _my silmarils_!"

"For the 174 thousand and 498th time, _we know_!" Haldir bellowed.

Feanor continued to ball, words floating out of the incomprehensible babble every once and a while. Haldir rolled his eyes and rubbed his temple with one hand. "Well, this is definitely not what I thought would happen if I died," he said quietly to himself.

With a shake of his head to rid himself of such thoughts, he stood up. What a waste of time, even if time was in inexhaustible supply for them. "Well, I think that is enough of that for today!" he said softly, and very quickly all of the elves got up, leaving with a few discernable mumbles of "finally." Even Feanor stopped carrying on long enough to get out of the room.

Sitting down again, Haldir contemplated how he had gotten into the whole mess that he found himself in. Of course, getting killed probably had a lot to do with it, but he couldn't remember exactly what circumstances had led to him being stuck listening to all the other elf souls talk about the problems that had led to their demise. He had always thought that in Mandos the people received counseling, not that those who were there had to give it.

Apparently, however, things were run differently from what he had assumed. Somehow he had been picked out of the masses of elves to be one of the few who had to sit around all the time and listen to incessant complaining.

For a while he had been more than happy to listen, ready to try to help the people as best he could, but there was only so much a person could take. He had been listening to sob stories for a couple of millennia now, and they did not have much affect on him anymore. His empathy rating had plummeted until now he could hear the most heart wrenching stories and just shrug at the end. His emotions had been pretty much sucked dry over the years, however many they had been.

Haldir didn't really care that he was getting relatively heartless. He didn't care about much, as a matter of fact. The only thing that sparked some reaction of a positive nature was the thought of finally getting his body back and being able to leave the halls.

As he thought this, he didn't realize that a person had entered the room and sat down upon one of the now empty chairs.

The person cleared his throat, and Haldir leaned forward with surprise. His surprise instantly deepened when he realized that it was no elf soul sitting there. It was the Lord of Mandos himself.

Haldir promptly jumped up and bowed. "My Lord Namo," he said, still quite shocked, although trying desperately not to show it. He had seen the vala on only two other occasions in the 12,982 years he had been there (not that he was counting). It was especially rare for him to be seen down in the Halls, as when he had business with somebody, they were normally summoned.

Namo got up himself and motioned for Haldir to follow with a flick of his hand. Promptly falling into step with him, Haldir remained what he hoped to be a respectful distance behind.

They walked on for miles, or so Haldir assumed, as he no longer could really tell such things without his body. Really, he wouldn't be surprised to find that the Halls went on indefinitely, as they were changing and expanding every day.

After they had walked for a while, Namo spoke. "You are one of the counselors, are you not?"

"I am," Haldir replied shortly, unsure about how much vibrato the situation required.

"And what do you think of the stories you hear?"

After a momentary pause, Haldir answered. "Not much," he said truthfully. He figured that he did not have to worry about Namo getting put off by his lack of emotion; the vala had only been moved to pity once in the history of time.

"Then you would be willing to accept a special case, seeing as you would probably be little touched by what you might hear?"

Haldir did not answer instantly. He really had no wish to have another person in his groups, but he wasn't about to say that to the man who decided whether or not he would ever get re-embodied.

"You do not want another person, I see."

For a moment Haldir stopped, but quickly caught up. _Stupid mind reading Valar cra_- he began to think, but when Namo glanced his way, he speedily put in _but they are entitled to it, so wise and great and wondrous and... wise_.

"Perhaps I did not properly express what I wanted to convey," Namo said as he began walking again. "If you accept this one case, you will no longer have to continue counseling your groups. I can assure you that it would require your undivided attention. And," he said, stopping in front of a stone door, "you would receive what you, as with everybody here, have been waiting for."

Haldir almost felt himself smile. The thought was more than tempting. No more Feanor, no more crying ringing in his head at all hours. Most importantly, however, was that he'd be free. He'd finally be released; he'd be _alive _again!

"Will you do it?" Namo asked him.

"Are you kidding?" Haldir asked, his eyebrows raised, before he recalled whom it was he was standing before. When Namo looked back at him, Haldir quickly spoke again. "I mean yes, my lord."

After looking at him seriously for a moment, Namo nodded. "Very well," he said quietly to himself, and then went about opening the door.

While Namo fuddled around with the oddly rusted-looking lock, a question that Haldir realized he should have asked _before _agreeing popped into his head. "What is so special about this case?"

The stone door finally opened and Namo ushered him in before replying. Haldir looked at his new surroundings as he waited for Namo's response, realizing that he could never remember going down that tunnel before. It was darker than the majority of the Halls, if that was possible, and had a rather closed air about it.

Finally, after the door had been closed again, Namo answered. "You realize that Sauron was overthrown lately."

"Yes…" Haldir said slowly.

"In his ruin, his body was destroyed."

Haldir nodded, unsure of what sort of response he could give to that.

"Many people were under the belief that so much of his power would be lost from the destruction of the Ring that he would never be able to come to power again. Unfortunately for us, this is not entirely true, as he could just gather it back up until he could take another form. On account of this, it was decided that he could not be left to roam Middle-Earth freely."

"Eh, that's nice," Haldir said, not entirely sure about where this conversation was headed.

"Consequently, it seemed the best thing to do was to bring his spirit here," Namo apparently concluded.

Haldir frowned, giving a small shudder and looking around himself as though every shadow was suddenly hiding the malevolent spirit. "That's rather… creepy," he muttered to himself.

Namo nodded. "It's not an entirely pleasant thought, I don't suppose. Then again, there are many things imprisoned here that most are not aware of."

Haldir looked back at the vala, his discomfort climbing after this new revelation. Namo cleared his throat quickly as though he assumed the effects of his words.

The awkward situation was suddenly overcome as Namo stopped in front of a cell to his left, then turned to look at Haldir. He jerked his head towards the cell wordlessly, and Haldir hesitantly looked inside. Having just been told that many things were "imprisoned" there did not make the prospect of looking into a cell very appealing.

There was very little he could see as his eyes tried to adjust to the new level of darkness in the room. Presently, however, he was able to see a form huddled on the floor in the middle of the cell. After squinting and turning his head to the side, Haldir was able to slowly make out the form of a person.

He had -- or would have had, as he was quite obviously only a spirit -- a seriously screwed up mess of hair that looked more like an animal that had crawled onto his head and died. The man was thin to the point that it clearly couldn't be healthy, his clothes hanging awkwardly on his bony frame. That was all odd enough to give Haldir some unease, but there was something else, some aura that hung on the air, that caused Haldir to feel as though he really shouldn't be there.

Haldir stepped back and blinked a few times, trying to keep his vision working in the dimness, and then turned to look at Namo to find out the significance of this person. "He needs to be counseled," Namo said.

"He needs a hair cut," Haldir replied, attempting to ease his discomfort by making light of the situation.

Namo just stared at him, obviously not partaking in Haldir's efforts at being amusing.

"Uh," Haldir began, clearing his throat nervously, "Anyway, this is my special case then?"

"Yes."

That seemed to be an answer that was lacking. "Okay, and what exactly did all of this have to do with Sauron?"

Namo continued to stare at him blankly for a very long time, a 'you are joking, right?' look on his face. "… _That _is Sauron."

It was now Haldir's turn to stare blankly. His already pearly appearance blanched even more. He opened his mouth and then promptly closed it. Finally, after successfully opening it again, he screamed. "That's SAURON! You've _got _to be kidding me!"


	2. Sauron Loses His First Staring Contest

A hand was promptly slapped against his mouth to shut him up, but Haldir continued to rattle on uselessly in his shock. "Eumm mmm!"

"It's the truth!"

"Mmm umm muh!"

"Because we didn't think it would be safe for him to be wandering out in Middle-Earth, I told you already."

"Om mm mmmmeh!"

"You have to. You already said that you would be the counselor."

"Hm mee!" Haldir frowned and Namo finally took his hand away.

With one of those sighs that people used when little children didn't understand something that seemed rather plain and obvious, Namo explained. "We wanted somebody who wouldn't fall into any of his little traps. Since you said you did not care what people said, it was believed that you would be good for the job."

"Why does he need counseling in the first place?" Haldir pressed, his apprehension and sudden fear of this new unpleasant situation making him fidget uncomfortably.

"He needs counseling because he is evil! Honestly, do you think we are just going to let somebody with bad intentions for the populous of the world sit around in here for the rest of _eternity_?" Namo shook his head. "It would be good to at least try to get him to feel indifference, rather than allowing him free-reign with his thoughts, as that would only lead to him going all over creating havoc and pestering all the people who are plenty disturbed already."

There was silence for a minute, but it was quickly broken by a noise of obvious shock coupled with rage issuing from the cell. Haldir instinctively turned to look at the door and did a double take. "Eru!" he cried, instantly tripping over a crack in the ground in his reflex to flee, falling hard onto the floor.

"Graceful," Namo commented. He looked at the door with bored half-interest, but apparently wasn't surprised with what he saw and merely helped Haldir back up.

Haldir did not look away from the door, his eyes wide as he stared at the cell. Now the person, who Haldir still couldn't believe to be Sauron, was standing against the bars, looking carefully out at the people in the hall. "What _happened_!" he bellowed, obviously furious. He grabbed the bars and shook them as hard as he could, before quickly giving up on that and glaring at the two looking back at him.

For a moment he scrutinized Haldir, his eyes flashing dangerously in the dark. Haldir was distinctly uncomfortable at this and was rather grateful that he was a dozen feet away. He didn't feel too much better when Sauron turned his attention away to Namo, as this was instantly followed by another outburst.

"Oh, it's the Lord Namo!" Sauron spat, the rage in his voice just barely harnessed. "How could it have taken me so long to realize that it would be you who would welcome me here!" He shook the bars again in a vain attempt to pry them loose, clearly intent on meeting with Namo from a distance closer than the present.

Namo looked rather bored with the whole affair, which Haldir noted could possibly be a way with dealing with frustration. It was something he had seen in his groups. "May I remind you that you don't really have a body. Just because you are visible doesn't mean that you actually have a physical form."

Sauron looked at him, an even deeper scowl settling over his features. "I have been disembodied enough to know that!"

"Yes, I would hope after like six times you would have figured that out, but since you don't seem to easily learn things, I wasn't sure."

Sauron glared at Namo silently. Even if his eyes were no longer flaming, they still had a certain light to them that, with the pure animosity of the expression, caused a pretty disarming look. Namo, however, held his ground easily and the two were locked in a very uneventful staring contest.

Haldir was beginning to get very bored. Now that his initial surprise and fear had been able to wear off, and as he realized the bars to be quite sturdy, he wasn't all that disturbed anymore.

Suddenly, however, Namo turned away and said to Sauron, "You blinked."

Sauron gave a very indignant sigh and Haldir couldn't help but look at him. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wide as though he couldn't believe what Namo had just said. "I never lose," he murmured and then sat on the floor, banging his head against the bars. "Well, everything just keeps looking up."

Namo closed his eyes briefly and shook his head, as though he expected what happened next. "My life is ruined!" Sauron moaned. "My slaves, my armies, my kingdoms, all gone! That stupid midget with the foot hair problems destroyed my Ring. My cat probably _died_. And now I am stuck _here _of all places! Why couldn't I have just been completely annihilated instead of being sent _here!_ Why is it that I seem destined to always find some way of sinking lower than before! _Why!_" He smacked his head against the bars to emphasis certain words. Haldir couldn't help but wince.

"Because you don't always get everything you want," Namo said.

"Of course _I_ don't," Sauron ground out through clenched teeth. "I never get what I want."

"Well of course, most of the things you want are a) really stupid, b) really evil, or c) both of the above."

Looking off vaguely into the tunnels, Sauron sniffed. "It isn't any wonder I didn't stick with you people, look at how you treat others!"

With a rather exasperated sigh, Namo looked at him. "Do you really expect me to treat you well when you have had people eaten alive by wolves, just to name one of the many monstrosities you found fitting to bestow upon people?"

Sauron smirked, looking momentarily pleased. "I had forgotten about that," he said thoughtfully.

Namo shook his head again. "You might have, but Finrod hasn't."


	3. Feanor: Elf or Fairy?

Haldir was back at his group a couple hours after having spoken with Namo. As sleep wasn't necessary, along with the fact that he couldn't even tell if it was day or night, the little counseling groups would continue on an endless cycle. So now he was with his second of four groups. Once he had gone through them all, he would then have roughly the same amount of time which it had taken to complete all four to do whatever he wished, and then the rotation would begin again.

Namo had ignored Sauron's complaining since his remark about Finrod, and had proceeded to tell Haldir exactly what would be happening. "You will need to aware your groups that you will now be absent, firstly. Then you can take care of any personal business you might have. But, please, make it quick. I don't want to be waiting around in these Halls forever." He contemplated this statement for a moment as they began to leave the prisons. "Hm, well that was ironic. Anyway, once that is done, come back here and I'll get Sauron out and you two can go through the whole re-embodiment process."

Haldir continued walking silently for a moment when a part of what Namo had said struck him. "Us _two_?" he asked.

"Yes."

"You mean, he gets a body too?"

"Of course not, he just goes through the whole process for no particular reason. I just felt like wasting time by sticking around and making him appear to get a body," Namo said, sarcasm thick in his voice.

"Burn," Haldir said under his breath.

"There is no way that he can figure out how to properly interact with people if he doesn't have a body. How many living people do you see communicating with the dead?"

Haldir ignored the logic in this and pressed on. "Is that safe though, I mean, couldn't he hurt people or something?"

"No, not really. He doesn't have much power left to him, that he could use physically at least. The only real power he has is what wisdom he had from being a maia, but it should not be a problem."

"But, when he has a body couldn't he...?"

"Do you think we plan on letting him have the form of some dark overlord or something?" Namo asked him. "Really, we've thought it all through. He will look like he did in the cell."

"Ueh..." Haldir cringed, not too pleased with the idea.

"Well, what do you expect? It was the last form he had before he was completely in Morgoth's service."

Haldir couldn't help but make a face at this. "You all let him go around like that? Wouldn't that be a rather bad, uh, appearance to allow one of you to have when trying to make a favorable impression on others?"

"He wasn't out enough to really affect anybody. In fact, nobody noticed that he was gone for a long while, as he usually kept to himself. He was one of those smithy people, did various crafts, like metal working or jewel cutting. Those ones don't care much for appearance. So nobody really cared that he looked that way. Except for the elves, in hindsight." He glanced at Haldir. "What is up with you guys and looks anyway?"

Haldir shrugged. "Must be something in our psyches."

"Sure..." Namo replied, obviously unconvinced.

After that they had gone separate ways, with Haldir off to see his second group and Namo to do whatever it was that was required of him.

The second group was probably his favorite, to be completely honest. Nobody in there had died terribly dramatic deaths. Of course that was in relation to, say, Maedhros or Eol. They were all normal elves who had lived uneventful lives and had somehow died. That didn't, however, give them the credit of dying in noble or honorable ways.

In fact, they all made Haldir's little self sacrificing thing look really good. Sometimes he found it surprising that they had been able to live as long as they had. He never said that of course; it wouldn't be nice. All the same, it did not stop him from thinking it.

There was no hope that things meant to be secret would stay as such. By the time he met with them, the group knew that Haldir had met with the Lord of the Halls for some reason, and they were all curious to know about it. This was more than Haldir could have said about his first group; had they known about the meeting, Feanor would have more than likely gone off on some egotistic speech. He was always full of those.

As this group very rarely took part in the things that were normally considered counseling, it did not surprise Haldir that they wanted to know the story. Before he had returned to the groups, however, Namo had told him that he could not share what he was going to do. It was meant to be secret and that was just the way it would have to be.

There was one aspect that he did have to share with them though. "After this group,  
somebody will be taking my spot," he said.

"What?" one of the elves, a Merenwen asked, tipping her head to the side.

"I will no longer be here."

"Where are you going?" Golrandir inquired.

"...Other... places," Haldir haltingly answered.

"Are you being released?" a few asked in hushed unison.

"Not yet." Partly true, at least.

"Too bad," Golrandir said.

Haldir merely nodded.

There was a pause, and Haldir then decided to get the group going. "So, anything interesting to share today? As always, I recommend that you don't give everything up; you need to keep something to last you the next couple millennia."

The second group went well, and the last two were even easier. Those two actually cared about milking the counseling time for what it was worth, and so did not care particularly that Haldir would be leaving. All they wanted was somebody who would listen to their stories.

Haldir then had a while for himself, which he spent going around to see the few people whom he had spoken with on a regular basis during his time there. He informed them that he would not be around anymore, but that they would probably see each other at some time.

After that, he went back to the door that led to the cells. Namo was there waiting for him to turn up, along with two others. Haldir assumed that they must have been maiar or something of the sort since they, unlike the elven spirits, had bodies, but he could not see them clearly as they were hooded.

As soon as Namo saw him, he began to open the door. By the time Haldir had reached him, Namo was ready to lead him down again.

Namo did not waste any time. "You are still willing to do this?"

"I... guess," Haldir replied, looking out of the corner of his eye at the silent figures who were following them.

"You won't be all alone. There will always be somebody around that can help you if you need it, so don't think that we are just tossing you out into the wilderness with him or anything."

"That's good," he said, a flash of what could happen if he had been alone going through his mind.

"All right, here we go."

They had finally come to the cell that Sauron was in. Namo reached out a hand, grasped a bar, and effortlessly pulled the door open. Haldir couldn't help but cringe at the idea that the doors to the cells simply had to be pushed open.

It seemed that Sauron was thinking the same thing, too. "Please say that it wasn't seriously that easy to open," he said, although where _he _was could not be seen.

"No, it wasn't that easy, not that it should matter to you anyways," Namo replied as the two people went into the cell.

Haldir waited for a minute. There was some muffled cursing that issued from the cell, but when Haldir looked questioningly at Namo, he did not seem to notice; his attention appeared to be ardently placed upon the ceiling.

Finally, the hooded men appeared again holding Sauron between them, who did not seem at all pleased. Haldir wondered for a moment how they could hold Sauron when there wasn't any real substance to him, but he decided that the present was not the time to ask.

They left the prisons then, Namo first, closely followed by Haldir, and then Sauron and the men. The procession was silent, and although there were a couple of things that Haldir wanted to say, he refrained.

When they came to the end of the hall and the door was opened again, Haldir suddenly felt very self conscious. There were many elves in that main hall at the moment, and they all stopped what they were doing and stared at the group. Namo went on as though he didn't notice, which might have been true as, with time, he had probably gotten used to it. Haldir tried to ignore the stares as well, but with little success. In the end he was brought to simply looking down at the ground in front of his feet.

Haldir soon realized, however, that the elves quickly lost interest in him, and even with Namo, as they saw Sauron. Most of them seemed unable to figure out who he was, which suited Haldir fine. All the same, there were some older elves in the groups who almost seemed as though they recognized him. If they did, they made no sign.

Haldir almost thought that he was going to be able to get out of the main hall without mishap. For a glorious moment, it seemed that they might get through without anybody right-out saying that it was Sauron. That being the case, nobody present who knew Haldir would even be able to consider what sort of a mess he was getting into.

He had just let out a breath, finally beginning to relax, when Feanor entered the hall. As soon as he saw him, he knew there would be trouble. "Of course," Haldir sighed under his breath as he prepared for what was going to come.

Feanor stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Sauron with an utterly shocked expression on. Namo seemed to realize the danger and began to walk over to Feanor to push him back into the hall he had just been in, but it was already too late.

Feanor's shocked face very quickly turned venomous, hard and cold as stone. Haldir had never seen him that way in the likely thousands of times he had seen Feanor. The blubbering, complaining Feanor Haldir had known had erased any memory of the tales he had been told as a child, the ones in which Feanor had been strong-willed and stoic. Now he was getting to see that side of him, however, and he wasn't so sure that it was much better.

A fiery gleam seemed to leap in his eyes, and for once Haldir understood how he had earned the "spirit of fire" name. Feanor steamed silently for a moment, but Haldir deemed that it was nowhere near long enough. "What are you doing here?" he asked coldly.

At his words, Sauron seemed to notice that Feanor was there for the first time. "Ah, Feanor!" he began, his voice hinting at an equal amount of enmity. "What have you been up to these last, oh, 25,000 years, locked away here while I have been out free?"

Feanor's rage was easy to comprehend, yet he did a good job of concealing it. "The unusual things you do when you are without a body. I am sure that you would know all about those things though, as you have been without a body yourself, what, six times now? Your ability to lose bodies in completely idiotic and degrading ways is quiet amazing," he answered snidely.

Whispering rose around them as everybody began to realize that it was really Sauron. A couple began to yell and worked their way over to Feanor, standing behind him like a small army. Haldir wanted to slide off to the side, but thought that it might have brought more attention to himself than if he stayed.

Sauron was less able to hold down his fury, and he seemed to almost shake; evidently Feanor had hit a touchy spot. At the same time, he was able to frighten off all of the elves who had been standing behind Feanor. Haldir did not want to know how. "To start with, I believe it to be seven, counting recent events, and I must relinquish what awe I might receive for losing bodies to your talent for losing everything that is important to you in equally daft manners." He tossed his head back slightly, as though daring Feanor to make a move.

Apparently that was the last straw, and Feanor screamed and ran towards Sauron, trying to find some way to harm him although that seemed very unlikely. For a moment, Haldir watched in interest to see what would happen, but one of the men who had been holding Sauron let go and grabbed Feanor as he came within striking distance. Sauron merely laughed as Feanor struggled to get loose, which, of course, only made Feanor angrier. 

"Let's not forget what things you've had taken from you!" he yelled at Sauron.

Sauron smiled coolly. "You don't need to say 'body' as you have brought that up already."

Feanor shook his head. "No, I was just going to list off about everything else that you could possibly possess, seeing as how you have been reduced to nothing!"

Finally Sauron, in turn, seemed to have reached his breaking point and began to pull at his restrainer in hopes of catching Feanor. There was a brief struggle that followed that Haldir could not see completely, but when it was over, Sauron was loose and was plowing his way over to Feanor.

If Haldir thought the little exchange had been entertaining, what followed was even more so. Feanor had also managed to wiggle out from the hold of the man, and now they both began to kick and hit each other any way they could. That seemed strange to Haldir though, as he had always thought that bodiless spirits had been unable to touch.

He looked at the person next to him and tentatively reached out a hand to see what happened. His translucent fingers had just passed through the elf's arm when he realized that she was looking at him. "Um, hello," he said, giving an uncomfortable smile. The she-elf just shook her head and walked away.

All the same, he had just figured out that it would be impossible for Sauron and Feanor to actually be fighting. Looking closer at them now, he realized that they weren't really able to land any blows as their hands or feet simply passed through the other.

While they attempted to hurt each other, attempting being the key word, they began to sling insults. "I'd never go so low as to slay my kin!" Sauron said as he batted at Feanor's non-existent hands.

"You don't even have any kin. It would be impossible to kill something that didn't exist, dolt!"

"Fairy!"

"The word is elf! Besides, I'm not the one obsessed with jewelry!"

Sauron made a face. "What are you talking about? Yes you are!"

"No I am not!"

"What were the Silmarils then, huh?"

Feanor actually paused. "Oh yeah, you have a point there."

"And I didn't even know how to make rings like I did until _your _grandson and his cronies taught me!"

"Well at least I didn't go out and seek that knowledge!"

"You wouldn't have to, you figured it out on you own, you little pansy!"

"Well, shows how intelligent I am compared to you if a lowly elf could learn how to make rings and a maia couldn't!"

"I just wasn't as desperate as you were. You're like a little girlie elf!" Sauron stopped a minute as something seemed to occur to him, frowning thoughtfully before raising his eyebrows in surprise. "You really are a fairy!"

"You already tried that before. Can't you think of a better comeback than a previously used one?"

"No, I seriously mean it. You…" He looked at Feanor oddly, frowning. "You have problems."

Everybody else in hearing distance slowly began to murmur to each other as the intended message of this sunk in. Haldir cocked an eyebrow. "Well, this could be interesting," he thought to himself.

Feanor looked absolutely appalled. "I… oh no no nonono!" he cried angrily, going at Sauron with doubled effort.

Sauron, however, did not fight but retreated slowly as Feanor came after him. "Your greatest prize, the thing you went to war for, was jewelry. You were obsessed with your niece's hair and asked her for some on several occasion."

"Three times, only three!" Feanor tried to put in quickly, but few heard.

"You never spent time with your wife and that is why she left you..."

"I have seven sons though, honestly now!"

"And you lived way up north for years with only men! It makes sense now!" Sauron paused again and grimaced. "I don't want to fight you anymore."

"Giving up then eh?" Feanor asked.

"Not giving up really, more like simply putting a stop to the fight. You might make a pass on me or something." Sauron shuddered and then began to walk over to where Namo was shaking his head sadly. "Right then, I'm ready to get out of here now." The guards moved to restrain him again, but he quickly turned to them. "Where do you think I am going to run to? You think I want to stay here without a body? No, I want go get out as soon as I can. I'm going to behave... for now."

The men looked at Namo, who just shrugged. They then backed off and allowed Sauron to make his way over to the hall that Namo was standing in front of.

Feanor did not hinder Sauron's movement, seeming to be incapable of moving himself. A rather stupid expression was printed on his face, somewhere between shock, disgust, amazement, and horror.

After a moment, Namo seemed to return to the present and slowly began to go back the way he had been going, Sauron following closely behind, now without the guards holding him. The gears in his brain taking a minute to catch up to everything, Haldir remembered that he was part of that party and followed after them.


	4. Why Won't Sauron Just Grow Up?

The rest of their journey was uneventful, or nearly so. There were some elves who appeared at the ends of the halls and began to curse at Sauron, and probably would have caused a scene similar to that with Feanor. It was interesting to note, however, that it seemed as though they could not leave the halls they were in.

Of course, it did not stop their voices from traveling. Haldir tried to block out the vulgar language that reached his ears, but, with as much of it that was going on, that was rather hard. Until that day, he had thought it would have been impossible to have that many curse words together in one sentence. He reflected that one learns new things every day.

Sauron did not seem to mind what was being said at all. He looked at the elves whom were yelling at him and then turned away as though they were nothing but rocks. All the same, Haldir thought that he saw a very wicked light to his eyes, as though his appearance was a façade to his true feelings. Haldir didn't like the thought at all.

Finally, after what had seemed like hours, they came to the end of the hall. Before them a huge chamber opened up, so large that Haldir could not see the top or the sides. It was as though they had suddenly walked into the middle of a plane.

Unlike the halls where the lighting was done partly by torches positioned high on the walls and partly from the spirits of the elves, here there were hundreds of little blue lights hanging on silver chains from the ceiling. They were dull, just giving off a faint sphere of light that did not make the floor easy to see. Haldir made sure to stay near the group, knowing that if he paused too long the darkness would eat them up and he would be lost. And with his luck concerning directions, he would probably end up walking in circles there for the rest of eternity.

They walked on for a while more when suddenly Haldir began to see other little lights ahead. At first they were just dots in the dark, but then, after walking some more, they began to grow larger. They were faint and shifty, and as he watched them they would slowly dim and go out.

Haldir watched curiously the lights for a couple minutes, and then he hurried a little so that he was walking next to Namo. "Those lights," he began once he got the courage to speak, "what are they?"

Namo turned to him to answer. "They are the elves who are being released."

Haldir cocked an eyebrow. "They are? Then why are they fading?"

"Because they are getting a body. Their spirits seem to fade as their forms become more physical."

"Ah-huh."

Finally, they stopped. In front of them was a line of souls, all waiting patiently for their turn. Ahead of the line was the wall, into which eight tunnels were carved. Haldir only guessed this from the fact that at these points the darkness became even thicker.

He watched with interest as eight spirits were taken from the line and led to the tunnels. There would stand a maia blocking the way. Then Haldir assumed that some questions were asked, after which the maia moved aside and the elf would begin to walk down the tunnel, slowly disappearing into the gloom.

_Cheery little way to get a body back_, Haldir thought to himself, forgetting Namo for a moment.

Namo did look down at him in a reprimanding way, but it was Sauron who spoke, addressing Haldir for the first time. "You don't say. Looks like they're all being sent off to damnation, not that such a thought really bothers me much."

Haldir turned to him in horror. "You can read my thoughts too!" he cried.

Sauron looked at him and shrugged. "Trust me, I'm not trying to; it just happens."

Spinning back around to Namo, Haldir looked at him hopefully. "He won't always be able to do that, will he?"

"Mmm…" he started, frowning, "...I'm not sure."

Haldir shivered internally. The thought of having Sauron being able to tell what he was thinking at all times was not pleasant.

"Oh, that's not very nice," Sauron said. 

"Stop doing that!" Haldir shouted, causing a couple of the people ahead of them to stare and whisper.

"I already told you I can't. It's an ainur thing; I can't stop it." He shook his head. "Do you have any idea how annoying it was when I was in Hollin with all those elves, all the time hearing them think, 'I hope these robes aren't too feminine,' or, 'oh, I wonder how my hair is'?" he said, flopping his hands around limply with a feigned worried look on his face. Then he quickly dropped his arms, his expression falling also. "I swear, it drove me absolutely insane."

"You're sure that you weren't insane before hand?" Haldir hissed, his temper, which for a long amount of years had been considerably cool, for some reason starting to heat up again.

Sauron actually looked surprised, as though he was unsure about how to handle the situation. He furrowed his brow, but did not really look displeased, and crossed his arms. "Well, no," he said finally, taking a couple steps forward as the line moved up. 

It then occurred to Haldir that it had probably been a very long time since somebody had talked back to him in that manner. Anybody who had done so earlier, be it Feanor or even Namo, had known Sauron already and were definitely entitled to aim some derogatory comments at him, considering what sort of things Sauron had probably done to them personally.

Haldir had not really had any personal grievance that he held against Sauron as they had. Of course, when he had been alive, he had hated him with the hate that all free people had held. But that had faded in his time in the Halls, just like every other feeling he had ever felt. Now, although he was well aware that he should hate Sauron, he couldn't honestly say he did. He, in typical recent fashion, felt simple indifference. 

That being the case, Sauron more than likely felt the same towards him. So it was understandable, Haldir supposed, that when he had implied that Sauron was a raving lunatic, to his face, Sauron could be a little taken aback by it. After coming to that conclusion, Haldir just shrugged.

None of them talked as they slowly made their way to the head of the line. Eventually, the last group had gone through, and Sauron and Haldir were ushered forward. Namo, however, did not move.

Haldir turned to Namo, wondering what he was doing. "Once you get outside, you will find some people waiting for you. They will take you where you need to go. Also, keep in mind what happened back there," Namo said, obviously referring to Feanor. "There are people in Valinor who would not be pleased to see _him_."

Sauron turned to Namo from looking off into space, seeming to understand that he was being spoken about. "Me?"

"Yes," Namo said. "What, is that a surprise or something?"

"No, not really," Sauron admitted.

"Anyway," Namo continued, "it would be wise to keep his identity a secret. It will help give you peace." He started to turn away.

"You aren't coming?" Haldir asked him, surprised

Namo's face actually turned up in a suppressed smile and Haldir swore that he heard him give a precursor to a laugh. Even Sauron looked surprised at the sound. "Are you kidding? No, he's all yours." He nudged Haldir, who was not feeling particularly good after that comment, on towards the tunnels. "You'll do fine. Don't worry so much." With that said, he turned around, and headed back off into the dark, fading into it until he vanished from sight.

Once he was gone, Haldir turned and looked at the tunnels. Sauron was already in front of one and seemed to be taking care of himself, so Haldir went to the only open spot he could find.

He stopped in front of the cloaked maia and - since it was true that he was slightly on the small side - looked up at her. She looked at him for a second with a dull expression on her face as though she was ready to get this over with. "Name," she said staring off into the space directly over Haldir's head.

"Haldir."

"From where do you hail?"

"Lothlorien."

"Ethnic background?"

"Silvan."

"Was your death related to Feanor, war, grief, or other?"

"War..." Haldir said slowly, thinking the first choice a little odd.

"What do you plan to do in Valinor?"

Haldir glanced over a row at Sauron. "I'm going to have to look after him," he said a little sadly, "but I plan to have an otherwise normal life."

He almost thought the maia's stony appearance might have moved slightly at his comment. "Good luck."

She then stepped aside and pointed down the hall, continuing to speak mechanically. "Follow the tunnel until the end. Try to concentrate on memories from your life; it will help the process of regenerating a body. Have a nice life." Then she waved her hand slightly, beckoning Haldir on.

He was eager to go, and so began down the tunnel as soon as he had permission. As he did so, he listened to the maia's words and tried to concentrate on memories from his life.

He remembered sitting by the Nimrodel after a long watch on guard, or the times when he had been in the Lady Galadriel's presence. He thought about when he had been at Cerin Amroth, and of the mellyrn and the niphredil and the elanor. For a moment he almost thought he was happy.

Then he remembered Orophin and Rumil. The numerous occasions when he had woken up to find that his hair was stuck to his pillow with honey. That once when the string on his bow had been snipped. Those evenings sitting beside that very river that he had loved only to suddenly find himself completely soaked with water. 

Ah yes, he remembered a great deal when he took the time. Then he was reminded of why he did not normally take the time. He thought back on all those terrible jokes that his younger brothers had played on him and tried to feel spiteful about it, yet, to his surprise, he couldn't. True, they were two good-for-nothing obnoxious ninnies, but they had been his good-for-nothing obnoxious ninnies.

It was with this last thought that the tunnel ended and he was outside. His thoughts instantly scattered as he became aware of the breeze on his face, something that he had not felt for so long that he had nearly forgotten. Standing still, he looked down at his hands and no longer saw the foggy fingers through which the ground could be seen, but solid hands covered with pale skin.

It was an emotional moment. Many things that he had not felt suddenly surfaced as he was overwhelmed by the happiness at finally _being _again, having some true substance to him. And the moment suddenly came to a screeching halt when a hand smacked against his shoulder.

Taking a step forward to avoid losing his balance, Haldir turned to see who had stolen his special moment from him. He was really not too surprised to see Sauron, who seemed perfectly aware that he had ruined something profound for Haldir. He even looked quite proud about it.

Haldir took another step forward to dislodge Sauron's hand from his shoulder. To be honest, he was a little irritated with Sauron, which was not really a good way to start off. He had not idea how long he would be stuck trying to "rehabilitate" him into the world again, but he did not want to spend however long it took agonizing over every moment, thinking that something foul was going to happen.

He had started to walk off as he considered this, but suddenly a thought hit him like a thousand white-hot needles dripping with lemon juice: it was likely that no matter what he did, he would end up agonizing over every minute. After all, it wasn't just any deranged, twisted spirit he was trying to "fix", it was Sauron. The guy who had helped torture elves to make orcs, who had pinned up Celebrimbor to a war pike and used his body as a banner, who had made Gil-Galad spontaneously combust, who had fed elves to wolves alive. Suddenly, it did not seem nearly as safe to have Sauron out there with a body as it had earlier. After all, those people had all been Haldir's kindred.

"I'm not really that biased to elves. You forget that I destroyed practically an entire race of humans," Sauron put in.

Haldir rolled his eyes back and then closed them. "Will you please stop listening to what I am thinking?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"What, does it bother you?" Sauron asked as he began down the path that was before them.

"Yes, it bothers me!"

"Well, in that case…" he began, turning around momentarily and smiling, "no, I won't stop."

Haldir pressed his hands against his face and slowly pulled down. _Why_...? he asked himself softly. It had seemed like such a good idea before.

"Oh, don't do that to your face; it will give you wrinkles. And I know that would just be a _terrible _thing for any of you elves to have to go through."

Sighing, Haldir dropped his hands from his face. He had a point. Slowly, Haldir began to make his way down the path, trying to forget about Sauron for a bit and take in his surroundings.

He had never really been in Valinor before. The Halls didn't really count. There was nothing living there. Everybody was dead. Out here, however, there was grass, tall and green all around, dotted with white flowers. There were birds flying high overhead and trees off in the distance. Taking a deep breath of the night air, Haldir relaxed.

Finally, he looked up at the sky, at the innumerable stars that pierced the blue. All the elves loved the stars, and Haldir was no exception. They were able to boast his spirit.

He didn't realize that he was going through the classic little elven poems and such that were made to Varda until he noticed Sauron mimicking his words with his face screwed up. Haldir stopped thinking the poems immediately and cocked an eyebrow. "What are you doing?" he asked softly.

Sauron paused, his mouth still slightly open. "Trying to entertain myself by mocking your silly little limericks."

"That's rather pathetic. Can't you think of something better to do with your time?"

"Not really. Unless you want me just to solely concentrate on penetrating your mind and finding out your most embarrassing and closely guarded secrets. I'd would find that highly entertaining."

"Why don't you like the stars anyway?" Haldir said, quickly trying to change the subject. 

Sauron shrugged.

"Namo said that you worked in smithing."

Sauron glanced at him, frowning. "Yes…" he said, as though thinking Haldir was the most random creature in the whole the world.

"Were you a maia of Aule then?"

Sauron dropped his head down a little and looked at Haldir with an expression that said that this was not a topic that was going to be discussed ever again. "I was for a time."

Haldir looked away and cleared his throat. "Well, that doesn't really matter I guess; you always did those sort of crafty things and such afterwards, anyhow. As such, though, I would think that you would give some credit to good craftsmanship."

"I would give them some credit if I thought they showed good craftsmanship. I just don't think they do."

"How can you think that?"

Sauron fidgeted for a moment, taking a quick peek up at the tiny points of light high  
above them. "Well, perhaps they are decent, but since they were partly made as a symbol of the downfall of my former master and myself, I have a bit of a hard time admiring them."

Haldir did not really understand. It made him feel incredibly slow.

Sauron sighed. "How could I explain this so it would make sense to you?" He scrunched up his face with concentration. "All right, how about this. Let's say that there is some beautiful elleth, okay?"

Haldir nodded slowly.

"And let's say that she comes up to you, pulls out a sword and runs you through with it."

Haldir flinched slightly at the thought. The image of getting a sword stuck through him was too close to a memory.

"Now," Sauron continued, making no note of Haldir's discomfort, "you might accept that she is beautiful, but would you really like her after she was done stabbing you so that you were mortally wounded?"

After a moment of blinking, Haldir's eyes lit up. "Ahhhhh, I get it now." He paused. "But still, the stars aren't the ones that were going to 'run you through.'"

"Come on, really!" Sauron said with exasperation. "They're just lights."

"Just lights!" Haldir sighed incredulously.

"Well, the moon and sun are like stars, but you elves don't care for them at all."

"That's because the elves awoke in the light of the stars, not the sun and moon. And the sun was a sign for the coming of Men and all that rubbish."

Sauron sniffed indignantly. "Still, you can't give me any grief for not finding stars special if you don't have respect for things similar to them, and even for a reason that is nearly identical to why I don't like the stars."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Can."

"Can't."

"Can."

"Can't."

"Okay, you truly are pathetic. Just stop."

Sauron looked disappointed. "You give up too easily. I could have gone on doing that for hours."

Haldir glanced at Sauron and shook his head, his brows furrowed. "And to think, you were the Dark Lord of Middle-Earth."

Sauron smirked. "In the flesh."

"That's a step up for you, hm?"

"Hold on now, just because my symbol was a fiery eye doesn't mean that is the form I took. That would not be very practical, would it?"

Haldir looked at Sauron again. "And I'm sure practicality is always of special importance to you. There has never been any drama to the things you do," he responded sarcastically.

Sauron scowled a bit. "What would you know about it?"

"More than I'm sure I would care to know, in any case."

Sauron was now quiet and made no further comment about stars or anything of the like. They continued down the path, Haldir pleased with the silence as he looked for who they were supposed to meet.


	5. Sissy Names for Sissy People

They had been walking down the path for a little while when Haldir suddenly heard somebody say his name. "Who is it?" he asked, looking for who had called him, but unsuccessfully.

After a couple steps, they came over the crest of the hill they had just climbed. Looking down, Haldir saw an elf standing next to the road. "You are Haldir?" the elf asked.

"I am," Haldir replied.

The elf waited a minute as they came down the hill. When they were finally a few feet away, he bowed slightly. "I am to be your guide to Tirion," he said with a smile. "My name is Elhith."

Elhith smiled again at Haldir, and then turned towards Sauron. He tilted his head a bit to the side and frowned. "I was not told that there would be somebody besides you," he said, speaking to Haldir.

"Last minute changes," Haldir responded quickly. "I am to bring him along with me, by orders of Namo."

The fact that Namo had given the command seemed to appease Elhith. "All is well then," he said cheerily, as though about to go. Yet, he then asked another question. "What is _your _name?"

Sauron, who had been off in his own special little world, suddenly snapped back to earth. "What?" he asked.

"Your name?"

"Ah…" Sauron said, his face dropping. He glanced at Haldir out of the corner of his eyes, obviously an "what am I going to say?" look.

Haldir racked his brains, but came up with nothing. The fact that Elhith was clearly becoming suspicious did not help any. Haldir looked up, noted the stars again, and then went through a very random thought process at the end of which he had a name. In essence at least. "He's ah, Ron...dae."

Haldir could feel Sauron's annoyance at the name, but he didn't say anything, thankfully. Instead, Sauron bit his lip and forced a smile - hard things to do at the same time - and apparently was able to pass Elhith's "test".

Once Elhith began to walk on, Sauron instantly turned to Haldir. "Rondae!" he seethed in a whisper. "That's the best you can do? What sort of a lame name is that!"

Crossing his arms, Haldir made his defense. "You'd rather me just stand there like a cow, letting you stutter around trying to think of a name for the next week?"

"Well, I'd rather do that over having people calling me Rondae! You've totally cursed me! It's a completely sissy elf name!"

"The only alternative would be saying what your name really is, which, can I point out, is also a 'sissy elf name'."

"Well for starters, that isn't my real name; it is just the one that everybody happens to call me. Secondly I doubt that what 'sauron' means could actually count as sissy," Sauron groused, frowning.

"You're totally right. That name would be a lot better, because then you wouldn't ever have to go out for various foods, since people would be throwing them at you wherever you went," Haldir said, his voice dripping of sarcasm.

"Yeah and that would be terrible because food can _really _maim you for life, you know."

Haldir sighed, quickly becoming disgruntled by the conversation. "Don't forget that I am stuck with you for the next who knows how long, and, personally, I don't want to be punished for your poor choices as well. Try to think of somebody besides yourself."

"I have never before and, frankly, I don't plan on starting."

"Well you're going to because I don't want to have to baby-sit you for the rest of eternity."

Sauron shook his head. "I'm perfectly capable of seeing to my own needs, thank you."

"And also seeing to the destruction of various peoples, yes, I know."

"Wait just a minute," Sauron interjected, adopting a completely sincere expression. "I might have changed. You have no faith in me at all!"

Of course, a sincere expression could not cover a blatantly insincere message. "No, I do not, since you have had multiply opportunities of repenting your ways. You have never done such, however."

"I almost did once."

"That's nice. Seeing as how you didn't though, it doesn't count."

"It should."

"Well it doesn't," Haldir said irritably, "so just can it and get walking, Rondae!"

Sauron glared at him, but began following after Elhith. For a long time he steamed silently, muttering under his breath things that sounded oddly like curses. Haldir tried not too worry about it too much as Namo had assured him that Sauron wouldn't be able to actually do anything. He just hoped that Namo had been more sure of that than he had been concerning whether Sauron would be able to read Haldir's thoughts or not.

They walked on for a long time, even though it was dark. Elhith hummed to himself, seeming to have a never ending amount of happiness, although this appeared to aggravate Sauron even more than he already was. Haldir kept glancing at him occasionally, noting that every time he looked over, Sauron's expression had turned more sour.

He was beginning to think that it wasn't such a good idea to leave Sauron to his own thoughts and was on the brink of speaking when they broke through the forest and came to a short plain. The path went straight across this to a dock, where a large boat was anchored, waiting to sail.

After walking on for a moment, Haldir realized that Sauron was no longer in step next to him. He stopped and turned back, finding Sauron at the edge of the forest, staring at the ship. Haldir heaved a sigh of irritation and made his way back up the path towards Sauron.

Sauron did not seem to take in the fact that Haldir was standing right next to him. "Hello, are you in there?" Haldir asked, waving his hand in front of Sauron's face.

Blinking a few times, Sauron turned to Haldir with a look of poorly-concealed horror. "We don't have to go on the ship, do we?"

"Oh yes, the ship to Tirion! You don't want to have to walk all the way; that wouldn't be any fun at all!" Elhith said, coming up behind them silently.

"I think that it would be plenty fun to walk, on the ground, with dirt under my feet and rocks and solid things of that nature, away from the water," Sauron said quietly.

"What, do you not like sailing or something? All elves like boats," Elhith put in bubblingly, although the look in his eyes added that he thought Sauron to be the oddest looking elf he had ever seen.

Sauron instantly opened his mouth to clear up Elhith's misconception, but that definitely could not be allowed. Haldir, deciding that simply elbowing Sauron might be too obvious, quickly threw his arm over Sauron's shoulders, causing him to take a moment to rebalance himself before speaking. It was in this moment that Haldir quickly tried to answer Elhith. "He's not particularly fond of boats. Had some bad experiences with them and all," he said, lowering his voice as though what he was saying was highly embarrassing to Sauron. 

"Ohhh," Elhith breathed, nodding knowingly. "I understand. Don't worry though, we are good sailors; we wouldn't let your drown or anything!"

Sauron's face blanched drastically, but Elhith did not notice as he ushered them forward towards the ship.

Haldir abruptly pulled his arm off of Sauron, cringing that he had actually even touched him. _Ewwwww_... he thought to himself, pausing a moment to consider it again. _Ewwwww_...

Sauron looked at him angrily, although it did not have much affect as he was still as white as a sheet and apparently rather distracted. "You could stop thinking things of a derogatory manner for just a moment, you know," he hissed so that Elhith, who was only a few feet away from them, wouldn't hear.

"Well, at least I didn't say them out loud, eh?" Haldir said slowly.

"Do you think that I have been laying in a dung heap or rolling in a pile of rotting corpses or something?" Sauron asked crossly. "I've had this body for a total of four hours. Not really enough time to mess it up, I would hope."

Haldir really looked at Sauron then for the first time. Yes, he still looked remarkably like he had in the cell and not at all like a dark lord. It was possible that he could have been mistaken for an elf - a consideration that Haldir found a bit unpleasant - except for the fact that no elf would ever dream of going in public with their hair looking as though it had lost a fight with a rabid animal. Of course, there was also his creepy eyes, which somehow managed to have a fiery appearance regardless of the fact that they were very dark. Elf eyes didn't really tend to appear that way.

Fine, he didn't _look _contaminated by anything foul, although Haldir was sure that his spirit could definitely count, if one wanted to argue it. While Sauron had not really done anything to hint to such, it was a sure bet that this part of his character would be unleashed eventually.

Haldir didn't answer in a way to suggest that he had given up his position on the topic. Besides, they were now on the docks and he didn't want to have to continue the argument when they were around other people on the boats.


	6. Sharing the Love

Haldir walked up the ramp onto the ship after Elhith, turning back to see Sauron eyeing the ship with equal amounts of repulsion and anxiety. Slowly, he walked up the ramp, each step appearing more forced than the last. He even closed his eyes as he took the final one onto the boat.

Elhith immediately patted Sauron on the shoulder. "Don't worry so much, you'll be fine. You forget that this is Valinor. Nothing bad ever happens here."

"Of course," Sauron said through clenched teeth.

Haldir almost laughed at the sight of the previous dark lord of Middle-Earth being led to the stern of the ship by an overly blithe elf. It was just way too warped to actually be happening. Chuckling to himself quietly, he followed behind them.

They came to a group of benches near the stern of the ship, some already occupied by elves waiting for their departure. Elhith guided Sauron to one of these benches, where he plunked down and sat silently. Elhith then began off back to the ramp, seemingly to greet the elves who were arriving and coming onto the ship. As he passed Haldir, however, he paused for a moment. "He is really not enjoying this at all, is he?"

"No," Haldir said, looking at Sauron, who was resting his head in his hands while gripping large amounts of his hair.

"I wonder why that is," Elhith mused. "I have not met anybody who is as uncomfortable in a ship as he is. It is odd."

"Mmm."

Elhith then continued on his way, and Haldir sat down on the bench next to Sauron. It was interesting to note his nauseated appearance. Personally, Haldir would not have thought that he could get ill, but by the look on his face it was apparent that such was possible.

A few more elves came down the path from Mandos, and then the ramp was taken down and they began to sail off. The boat rocked back and forth gently, the water very calm. It apparently wasn't calm enough, however.

They had been sailing for roughly half an hour, during which time Sauron had not made a  
sound. Quite suddenly, he hopped up and dashed around the mast and riggings towards the middle of the boat. Haldir figured that he had a vague idea of what this action would indicate as he lost sight of Sauron. With a sigh, he got up himself and followed.

He saw Sauron hunched over the side of the boat, clutching the railing tightly. Haldir  
cringed. Focusing on some distant spot off in the ocean, he walked towards the rail a little more. "Are you okay?" he asked cautiously.

"I think I am going to be sick," Sauron responded weakly.

"Guessing that's a no." Haldir looked around, unsure of what to do. It wasn't like he had ever been around a person with a case of seasickness before; he hadn't even seen the sea until now!

Thinking about trying to find Elhith, he made his way towards the bow. Luckily for him, Elhith was there conversing with a few of the sailors. "Hello!" Elhith called when he saw Haldir. "What are you needing?"

"I'm not exactly sure," Haldir said. "You wouldn't happen to have anything for  
seasickness, would you?"

"Oh," Elhith whispered.

Haldir nodded.

"So he's...?"

"Yes."

"Has he...?"

"Not yet." Haldir paused. "I hope."

"Well then!" Elhith said, jumping up. "I have just the thing." He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a small bottle, then tossing it to Haldir. "That should do it."

With a quick nod, Haldir went back in search of Sauron, who was in the same spot that he had been before. Haldir nudged him with his elbow and then handed him the bottle. "What's this?" Sauron asked.

"I don't know," Haldir answered.

Sauron looked at Haldir distrustfully. "And what do I do with it?"

"Drink it I suppose."

"You expect me to drink something when _you _don't even know what it is?"

"It's suppose to help with the seasickness."

Sauron paused for a moment, and then popped the lid off the glass and drank the contents. Haldir figured that he must have been feeling pretty bad to have given in so easily. 

After a moment, Sauron sighed and sat down on the deck.

"Feeling better?" Haldir asked him as he perched on the riggings.

Sauron nodded.

"What is with you and boats anyway?"

"It's not so much the boat part as the ocean part."

"Oh." Well, that didn't really explain the situation any better. "Then what is with you and the ocean?"

Sauron glanced at him momentarily. "My memories of it are not pleasant."

"How so?" Haldir prompted.

"Why do you care?" Sauron snapped at him, the illusion of flame in his eyes jumping and increasing twofold.

Although it did unsettle him, Haldir was not affected enough to drop his questions. "I'm just curious."

"You realize that your curiosity is the main fault of your people, right? It is what helped lead to my rise to power in the first place," he said coldly.

"Yes, I suppose you are right. The situations were quite different, however, so I do not think that my inquisitiveness as to why you do not like the ocean will lead me to some terrible ruin," Haldir pointed out, hoping that he was right in this assumption.

"You just don't give up, do you?" Sauron asked tiredly.

Haldir shook his head. "It isn't something that I'm known for."

With a sigh Sauron stood up and leaned against the railing, taking a moment to make sure that there was no danger of falling over. "You probably know the story. I was taken to Numenor as a prisoner, I poisoned the king's mind -- made him my pawn. I'm really good at stuff like that," he said with a smug smile, looking off blankly into space as though he was reminiscing.

Haldir, unsure of how to respond to such a statement, nodded slowly.

"I told the king that coming here would make him immortal, and so off he went to war against the Valar. I sat back in Numenor, quite pleased with myself, as I was sure that I had the destruction of the Edain practically guaranteed. Of course, I had expected this to happen without anything happening to _me_." He paused and frowned. "That was a bit of an oversight."

Haldir finally made the connection now, even though he had known the story beforehand. "So, when the island sunk into the sea, you went down with it and drowned," he said bluntly.

Sauron shuddered. "It doesn't matter if you have the ability to get a new body later on, you still feel the end of the one you have…" He looked at the ocean again, leery. "Drowning was not much fun."

"Really. And I had expected it to be a blast."

"If you didn't notice," Sauron said, his eyebrows furrowing, "I'm disclosing personal information here. I won't ever do so again if you make snippy remarks when I'm done."

"Well maybe I don't want to hear about all your stories. In fact, I am sure that I won't want to hear all of them."

"Why not? Bit too gory for you to stomach?"

"Probably," Haldir answered truthfully.

"Oh." Apparently he had not expected Haldir to be honest.

At this moment, Elhith appeared and leaned against the mast. "Did the drink help?" he asked Sauron.

"Yes."

Haldir, feeling a bit rambunctious - he thought it might have been the air - decided then to toy around with Sauron a bit, just for the heck of it. He realized that it would probably come around so that he'd regret it later on, but at the moment he didn't really care. "Elhith here is the one who gave me that stuff, you know."

Sauron looked curiously at Haldir, as though wondering what he was up to. "Is that so?" he said as more of a statement than a question.

"Yes. Did you make it yourself, Elhith?"

"I did," replied Elhith, looking a bit proud. "You learn to make and have these things around when you are sailing with people who might not be as comfortable on the water as yourself."

Haldir smiled and looked at Sauron. "Isn't that just so courteous, Rondae?" he said with exaggerated cheer.

Sauron narrowed his eyes but did not answer.

"Well, don't you think you should thank him?"

Oh yes, it was his grand scheme. Well, not really _that _grand, but he figured it would be interesting to try to get Sauron to say 'thank you', two words he had probably never uttered together in a very long time.

Suddenly Sauron spoke, however, when Haldir looked at him, his lips weren't moving.  
_You think that's pretty funny, eh_? Haldir blinked a few times before he realized what was going on, and he didn't particularly like it. Sauron was getting into his head, quite literally.

_Just figured out what I am doing_? Haldir thought to himself. He figured that Sauron would get the message as he had said that he 'heard' whatever Haldir thought.

_Mhm. Not a good idea, not a good idea at all. I do not think you want to go the way you are going_, he communicated, his last sentence in an almost sing-song voice.

_But I think I do_.

_I would beg to differ_.

_Then differ. It isn't going to stop me_.

_Have it your way then_.

Haldir looked at Elhith, noticing that he was watching Haldir and Sauron with an expression of complete confusion, yet it seemed that he was anticipating some sort of recognition. Haldir turned back to Sauron "Well?" he asked.

Sauron squinted slightly and then sighed irritably. "I appreciate having the use of your remedy for seasickness, Elhith," he said with seeming ease. The fun of it was spoiled for Haldir. It had been much too easy.

Elhith smiled. "I'm glad that it helped. If there is anything that I might be assistance to, you need merely to ask." He then hopped down from the rope and headed back towards the bow. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. We shall be arriving in about an hour."

Once he was out of sight, Haldir frowned. "That didn't seem so hard. I thought that you would have been a bit more defiant."

"That's what you wanted me to do, wasn't it?"

"Well, yes."

"Then why did you think I was going to do it?" Sauron rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "I weighted my choices." He held up one hand. "I could play along with your little plan and act just like I knew you had thought I would," he paused and then lifted his other hand, "or I could just suck it up and say an empty thank you. Being in my situation, which one would you choose? Hm?"

"Ah, you're no fun," Haldir said, crossing his arms.

"You're a real treat yourself."

Haldir shook his head. "That's not very nice."

"Darn," Sauron said, snapping his fingers. "And I was trying _so _hard to be kind!"

Haldir snorted and then got up to go back to the seats. He had finally met his match in sarcasm. And he knew that would make for many long verbal battles.


	7. Happiness Stinks

With a jerk, Haldir woke up. For a moment he was thoroughly confused, unable to figure out where he was or why he was there... or _who _he was, for that matter. He looked around and squinted as the light of the sun rising over the ocean pierced into his eyes, making them dilate painfully. "Blasted light," he sighed under his breath as he closed his eyes again.

"My sentiments exactly."

Haldir's eyes opened again in a flash. He paused for a moment, trying to figure out why that voice sounded so familiar. It only took a moment for everything to come back to him, but, when it did, he groaned.

"What? Do you have morning breath or something? You haven't been asleep that long; I can't expect that it is too bad," Sauron said.

Haldir ignored Sauron as he sat up and rubbed his neck where it was sore from laying on the bench.

Finally, thinking that he could stand without immediately falling down again, he stood. It did take him a minute to get his balance, but he did not fall.

"Bit tipsy?" Sauron asked him, promptly occupying the bench and stretching out along its length so that there would be no room for Haldir.

"A bit maybe."

"A bit," Sauron repeated, and then began to pick at a loose thread on his tunic.

"So, what have you been up to while I was off?" Haldir asked him.

Sauron looked up at him dully. "Elhith was sharing some stories with me."

Haldir couldn't help but smirk and laugh softly. "Was he now?"

"Why does that amuse you? There really is nothing funny about it," he said, finally pulling out the thread.

"Not to you, I am sure. You don't take being laughed at very well, do you?"

Sauron frowned. "You were laughing at _me_?"

"Not exactly," Haldir said slowly. "It was just an offhand observation for the most part."

"You are right, I don't particularly like it," replied Sauron after a moment, still looking at Haldir critically. "But that shouldn't come as much of a surprise since I don't like laughter, period! Well, unless I am the one laughing. That I can handle."

"Figures. Actually," Haldir said, having a thought, "I'm surprised that you even know how to laugh."

"Well, I can smile, can't I? If I can smile, why couldn't I laugh?"

"Then maybe I should say that I wouldn't think you would know how to smile either. Better?"

"But you know I can. I already have," Sauron pointed out.

"Oh yeah... Still, that is beside the point."

"It is?" Sauron asked skeptically. "I would have thought that it was right on the point. Do I have to go frolic in a field of flowers or something like you elves to prove that I am capable of some feelings of a positive nature, hm? You might think that I am in a perpetual state of gloom and all that, but that isn't the case. I've had my moments, and although I doubt that you would call them happy, they were to me. Point taken?" he ended, ripping out some more strings from the frayed hem.

Haldir sighed. "Fine. It's just that I wouldn't expect you to know. I mean, with all that evil crap you always were doing. Somehow evil and laughter just didn't seem to go together."

"I wasn't always 'evil' you know," Sauron said under his breath, as though he was only half sure that he wanted to rebut with such a statement.

It seemed to Haldir that it was not a statement that he should answer. Instead, he took the time to realize that his legs were getting a little wobbly, although he didn't know why they would be. Deciding to fix the problem, he sat down on the deck.

"Ah, that is better," Sauron said at a normal tone again, looking down at him. "It feels more natural to have people down below me, rather than at the same level."

Haldir shook his head but did not reply as he saw Elhith coming toward them.

This was not bad for Haldir. In fact, it was nice to think of having somebody else with whom to talk. As Elhith came over, however, he stood at least two feet higher than Sauron, who was still sitting on the bench. "Well," Sauron said with a sigh, "that lasted long."

"What lasted long?" Elhith asked.

"Nothing."

Elhith was able to momentarily pull his lips down, but they bounced back to their original position so quickly that it seemed possible that the frown might have just been a trick of the light. "Well, I see that you got Haldir up as I asked. Thank you!" he said.

"How nice of you to do as Elhith requested!" Haldir said once he registered what Elhith's words implied. Sauron scowled at him, but only mildly to prevent attracting Elhith's attention.

"I had him get you up since we will be at port soon. I figured that you would like to be able to see the city as we arrive. You are silvan?"

"Yes. How did you know?" Haldir asked.

"Rondae told me, of course."

"Well!" Haldir said, smiling widely. For the first time it was Sauron's face that was painted with the expression that asked 'why me?' instead of Haldir's.

"If you would like the come to the bow now, we should be able to see Eressea any minute. Right after it will be your first true sight of Valinor; the plains outside of Mandos do not really count, if you understand."

"Of course."

Haldir began to follow Elhith towards the bow. "Don't you want to come?" he asked Sauron quickly.

"No," was Sauron's strained answer, and, although Haldir figured out why later, he did not understand at the time.


	8. The Descriptive Chapter Dun dun dun!

Haldir knew that his mouth was open in a very undignified manner, but he couldn't do anything about it. The sight before him was like nothing he had seen before, and it was hard to keep some sense of reserve.

"That is Eressea, the Lonely Isle. If you ever want to go there, you can. Today, however, we do not have time to stop; it is to Tirion as quick as possible."

Haldir had enough sense to nod at Elhith's comment, however he wasn't exactly sure what Elhith had said. All of his thoughts were wrapped up in trying to take everything in, and that was a major understatement.

There were trees he had never seen in his life, taller than even those in Lothlorien. They were all in flower, golden and white against deep green leaves. Yet even for their height, they were dwarfed by the size of the white towers that rose from among them. He could faintly see the glow of what must have been thousands of lights reflecting off the leaves, signs of great cities.

_And this is only Eressea_, he had to continually remind himself, remembering that what lay ahead would be even greater.

They skirted the shore of the island until a faint line appeared on the opposite horizon. "We are close now," Elhith said once he spotted the dark haze.

It had only been a moment or so after this that another group of elves appeared at the bow. To Haldir's surprise, Sauron was among them.

He didn't say anything or even look at Haldir as he came to the rail. "What changed your mind?" Haldir couldn't help himself from asking.

"I figured that I might as well face it," he replied, although Haldir did not understand him. Then again, he did not seem to be the easiest person to understand.

Haldir considered prying for a moment, but decided against it. Sauron looked anxious as it was, and so probably didn't need Haldir making it worse. Not that Haldir really thought that Sauron deserved such courtesies, but it just wasn't in him to be annoying at the moment.

After a few more minutes, their course turned, the white cliff to their left falling away to reveal a sight that Haldir could never have conceived. An absolute hush fell over the boat; even the sails stopped tugging upon their ropes. Everything was silent.

Enormous mountains stretched into the sky, touched with bronze and gold from the morning sun. The highest of them, Taniquetil, was so tall that Haldir had to look up to see its peak, which was crowned with clouds. Two huge arms of the mountains seemed to reach outward, cradling a valley.

Within this valley was a sprawling city: buildings with domes of gold or silver, lanes of grass and trees, streets made of gray stone, high, blue fountains. The buildings even spread up into the hills of the mountain, the domes reflecting the sun. Haldir could not find the words to describe its splendor, although it had long been a habit of elves to find words that fit their feelings. Yet in this, nothing came close.

Everybody on the boat was lost in their own thoughts, in awe of what was before them. Haldir was barely able to pull his eyes away from the sight long enough to try to see Sauron's reaction.

Like the rest, he seemed to be overwhelmed. Unlike the rest, however, he seemed to be so on account of fear. And, by the way quailed at it, it must have been a great amount of fear, too.

The longer Sauron looked, the more terrified he seemed to get. Haldir was intrigued enough by his behavior that his amazement began to wear off. "What?" he asked Sauron.

Sauron did not seem to notice that Haldir had turned to him, and he started to mutter to himself while backing away, as though that would actually stop him from getting any closer to the city.

What happened next would have ultimately kept him from getting closer. Having stepped back too much, he ran into the rail. As it was not very high in this section, added to the fact that he was tall -- annoyingly so, to Haldir at least -- the rail hit him low enough that he began to lose his balance.

For a moment he swayed, a look of complete surprise and dread crossing his face, his arms out in an attempt to prevent his fall. And then he toppled over the side, yelling something so foul that everybody on the boat gasped simultaneously. His fall was almost instantly met with a splash, and a shout from many of the people who had turned just in time to see.

Haldir ran to the rail and looked over the side, hearing the sounds of others doing the same. A moment later, Elhith grabbed his arm and pulled him to the stern, where a some of the crew had already thrown out a rope.

"That was a vile thing to say," Elhith whispered into Haldir's ear. "What, was he raised by orcs or something?"

Haldir didn't reply as he considered that it had probably been Sauron who had taught the orcs such words. 

"Anyway, talk about coordination. I don't think that has ever happened on the trip before. It's just lucky that we are so close to the havens and had slowed down, or else he'd be way out there by now."

"It's never happened before?" Haldir asked, genuinely surprised. "Ever?"

"No. And to think it happened to him, with him so freaked out about sailing and all! I'll bet you'll never get him on a boat again! Think of the odds!" Elhith said as seriously as he could manage.

Haldir nodded and then stood at the stern with Elhith while the other two sailors pulled in the rope.

Finally, Sauron emerged. Haldir and Elhith both grabbed one of his arms and pulled him onto the deck, where he sat dripping and coughing for a moment, but was otherwise silent. The men with the rope went back to see to whatever it was they needed to see to, and Elhith left momentarily to look for a blanket.

Haldir was just barely able to contain his amusement. It really was quite funny, once he had thought about it with the statements Elhith had made. The sight of Sauron sitting there looking very dejected while his black hair hung down into his eyes, sopping wet, was something that nobody would probably ever be able to say they saw. Elhith could of course, but he could not appreciate it completely.

Elhith reappeared and handed over the blanket, which Sauron took and wrapped around himself without a word. In fact, he didn't even look up at Elhith, instead continuing to look blankly into space.

Elhith looked at Haldir with an eyebrow raised, but Haldir just shrugged. As though that was a fitting enough response, Elhith left again. Then the stern became a very quiet place.

He did try to bite his lip, but his habit of speaking at such moments was just too strong to overcome. "Well, your hair looks a bit better," Haldir remarked.

Without moving his head, Sauron looked up at him.

"It doesn't look so much like little animals could live in there," he elaborated.

Sauron let go of the blanket with one hand and pushed back the hair that was hanging down in his face. Once he was done, Haldir could see his expression completely, and it was not good.

He was mad, madder than Haldir had seen him. Although he had only had a short amount of time in which to made such assumptions about Sauron's character, it was apparent that his level of anger at this moment was very high, even for him. It was probably to the "I am _this_ close to killing and/or destroying something" level.

Haldir had a pretty good idea that Sauron was not really angry at him. Since Sauron needed to have something to direct his rage at and Haldir had spoken up, it seemed that Haldir was now the object of Sauron's wrath. Which didn't seem to be a very good place to be.

Sauron stood up, pulling the blanket even closer about himself as though it was a robe or cloak of that nature. Slowly, he made his way over to Haldir and stood dripping on him while giving a look of such complete ticked-offedness that Haldir was instantly reminded that, although he might have been harmlessly immature and smart-arsed until this point, he still was for all intents and purposes evil.

As, at that moment, Haldir was stuck between a rock and a hard place, the hard place ironically being the ocean, it would be very true to say that Haldir was pretty freaked out. Sauron had not repented anything that he had done in the past, so there was no reason to think that he would have any qualms about breaking Haldir's neck that moment.

"Sorry," Haldir muttered, finding that to be the only word that seemed even somewhat appropriate, although he didn't know what he was really sorry about. It was probably that he had agreed to be part of this whole cursed scheme.

There was a very long pause that Haldir was almost certain would end with him being on the receiving end of some sort of physical pain. However, Sauron only sighed. "Yes, I know you are," he said, and although he still looked miffed, he did not look homicidal. "Listen, you are the one of the very few elves I've met whom hasn't completely irked me within eight seconds. I'm not saying that you don't bug me, because you do, it is just not to the point where I feel like smashing your head in, understood?"

Haldir nodded weakly.

"Alright. Now, just because I am not hacked off with you yet doesn't mean that I never will get to that point. I am sure that you can think of what I end up doing to people whom I start feeling some malice towards, so don't think I have an endless supply of tolerance to getting annoyed." He took a step back, instantly becoming less frightening and imposing, and began to walk off somewhere. Haldir wasn't sure where to; there weren't that many places to go on a boat. However, Sauron paused for a moment. "Also, take into consideration that when I get upset, it probably isn't the brightest thing to draw attention to yourself and give me something to vent on."

It seemed that he had nothing more to say now and so was gone, leaving Haldir to think about what he had said, but only for a moment.

Among the sounds of wood clapping down on wood and the shouting of people, Elhith's voice carried all the way to Haldir. "Welcome to Valinor!"


	9. Landho!

With more than a little reluctance, Haldir went to the bow so that he could get off the ship. A plank similar to the one that had been on the boat when they had boarded was there now, and all the elves were waiting to get off.

At the front of the line, to not much surprise, was Sauron, who was still able to pull of some amount of dignity even with his frazzled appearance. Most of the others were giving him a very large berth, except for Elhith, who was standing next to him while the gangway was made ready.

Haldir got as close to Elhith as he could without getting within striking distance of Sauron, just as a precaution. "So, you go back to the other docks now and pick up more people?" he asked Elhith.

"Yes, normally that is what I would do," Elhith said with a nod. "However, I am to be your guide for a while, therefore I will be getting off with you."

Finally the plank seemed to be in place, and Elhith walked down it to the dock, closely followed by Sauron and Haldir.

The pier was very busy, elves going around everywhere as they loaded or unloaded ships that were anchored. There was something happening everywhere Haldir looked.

The docks quickly became a great maze, and Haldir was grateful that Elhith was there to lead him through it. There was definitely too many directions to know in navigating the area.

Finally they came to the end. Sauron instantly became less dark at the sight of solid ground. Just feet from stepping onto the shore, however, two elves came out of nowhere and stopped him, and, consequently, Elhith and Haldir.

They looked at Sauron in a way that discomforted Haldir. It was one of those looks that made him think that they knew something that he didn't want them to know.

Obviously, neither Haldir nor Sauron knew who they were, but Elhith seemed to be acquainted with them. Elhith instantly began to talk to them in his cheerful manner. While it sounded similar to his own, this language was distinctly different from Haldir's, and he could not understand it.

Yet, by the look on Sauron's face, he had a pretty good idea of what was going on. "Do you know what they are saying?" Haldir whispered in surprise.

"Yes, now shhh! Or else it won't do much good!" he hissed distractedly.

Haldir quickly complied, straining his ears to hear although he knew it wouldn't do him any good. Elhith's mood had quickly turned more serious as the two other elves spoke to him, however Haldir didn't have a clue as to why.

And then there was one word that he could get. Or not so much a word as a name: Sauron.

At once the two elves shot Sauron a glance, and Elhith slowly turned and looked at him in surprise. While Elhith seemed to attempt to soak in this information, the two elves continued to talk, their voices slightly louder than before.

As they finished, Haldir saw that look of panic cross Sauron's face as it had when he had first caught a glimpse of Taniquetil.

"What did they say?" Haldir asked, not entirely expecting an answer.

Sauron opened his mouth a couple times as though about to say something, but nothing came out. Haldir waiting patiently for once, but was not rewarded as the two elves stepped towards them. One pushed Sauron forward off the pier, and it was at that moment that Haldir saw the swords hanging from their belts.

As they walked on, nudging Sauron ahead of them, Elhith stepped over to Haldir. "Why wasn't I told?" he asked as they followed the procession, which was giving Haldir a strange feeling of deja vu.

"I was advised not to tell anybody if it could be helped, seeing as how he isn't very  
popular."

"Were you not told then that I was to keep close to you and him while you are here?"

Haldir shook his head. "I was only told that there would be somebody around, but was not given a name."

For once Elhith seemed to be in a very solemn mood, thinking a lot to himself. "So he's really Sauron then?"

"Yes, he really is."

"That explains a lot."

Haldir looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"There is something unsettling about him, you know? Something didn't seem quite right."

"You mean, besides the fact that water freaked him out, he was continually giving everybody dirty looks, and that he fell off the boat at the sight of all this? Besides those things that aren't right about him?"

"Well, yes. And now all those things that puzzled me fit. It makes sense. I mean, I suppose I'd be scared to come here if I was him too."

"He did it to himself," Haldir said impatiently.

"Yes, I know. And he deserves what's coming to him."

Haldir then remembered that expression Sauron had gotten at the last words of the other elves. "What is coming to him?" he asked, truly curious.

"Well, there's been a summon for him; we're going to Valmar. He's to be brought before the Valar."


	10. Liar Liar, Plants for Hire

"The Valar? Now? But we just got here!" Haldir exclaimed as he walked alongside  
Elhith.

"Which, I suppose, is why we are going there now," Elhith reasoned calmly.

"Why do we need to go? I mean, I thought everything had been taken care of when we were in Mandos."

"That part of the situation was taken care of then, yes -- getting out and meeting up with me and arriving here. However, it seems that there are some more things that need to be seen to."

"Like what?"

"Like laying down the law!" one of the elves who was ahead of them said grimly, prodding Sauron forward a little more.

Haldir considered what a cruddy day it probably had been for Sauron. Between having to go on a boat and falling off it and now being taken to the Valar, things just kept looking worse for him.

There wasn't much talking as they walked on. Everybody, even Elhith, was silent as they made their way. 

Very quickly Haldir realized that they must have been taking a secret road. There was nobody else around, and by what he could tell they were climbing a bit up into the hills to the south of the city. The area was heavily wooded and therefore offered no view, except, of course, for the trees.

After an hour or so of walking, it started to get really old. Yes, he was glad to be alive and all that, but he wanted to do some things that were different. It was Valinor, for crying out loud! He felt like he was on some watch on the borders of Lothlorien again, something that he had done for so long that he wasn't even sure how many years it had truly been. And, to make it even better, Sauron was there, and unlike when Haldir was on duty, there was nothing that he could kill.

_Could you stop thinking so loudly_? _It's like you're screaming in my head_.

Without missing a beat, Haldir replied. _No, I can't_. _They're my thoughts and I'm entitled to think them however I want_!

_Well jeez, who hit you with the grumpy stick_? Sauron replied, turning around momentarily to look at Haldir before one of the elves pushed him forward again.

_What the heck are you talking about_? Haldir queried. _That makes no sense_!

_I'm sure this will_: SHUT UP! _I'm the one who can be crabby now, not you; you're here in your little 'elven paradise' or whatever_. _Ungrateful little wretch_.

_I beg your pardon_? Haldir snapped back, forgetting to walk for a moment.

_You heard me_. _You're being ungrateful_. _What do you really have to complain about_?

_I can complain about you nosing in stuff that isn't your business_!

_I wouldn't have to if you'd keep it down_. _Or just stop like this fellow to my right_, he  
ended, jerking his head over. _Haven't had anything out of him_. _It's kind of freaking me out, to be honest_.

_Well, I guess my intelligence is just too large for me to put a cap on my thinking_, Haldir rejoined, thinking it with much more certainty than he would have ever felt.

Sauron snorted. _Your ego's pretty large, but that has nothing to do with intelligence, hí na_.

Haldir sniffed a bit at this. _So what if I have a bit of an ego_? _It's not like you don't have one like twice the size of mine_.

_Ooo, ouch_. _That _really _stung_. _I was completely unaware that I have a tendency to be proud_. 

_If you realize that you are, why don't you knock it off_?

_If you realize that you are, why don't _you _knock it off_?

Haldir was not pleased with the use of his statement. _I asked first_.

_I asked second_.

_You have to answer first though_.

_Why_?

_Because I said so_!

_And since when did you rule Arda_? he thought sarcastically.

_I haven't obviously_. _But neither have you_.

_Yeah, but I got close a couple times_. _And I have seniority, by pretty much a zillion years_. _Beat that_! _Ha_!

_Dear ERU, you are so annoying_! _You're like a little immature child_! Haldir thought, having to put a lot of effort forward to keep his mouth shut.

_Thanks_. _I try_.

"ERRRR!" Haldir yelled, figuring out too late that he had just yelled into the silence.

Elhith stopped, and the two elves ahead did, too. Sauron turned around with a positively overjoyed expression, a demonic grin slowly spreading across his face.

"What," one of the elves asked after a moment, "was that about?"

_Oh, they think you're loony_! _This is rich_.

Haldir gave Sauron a death glare while he tried to think of something to say.

Elhith followed his glare to Sauron, whose smile had grown more at the reaction of the other elves. "He's doing something," he said, pointing to Sauron.

Quickly, Sauron's smile fell so that he looked as though the incident had left him untouched. "Yes, blame the little psycho's problems on me. If something bad happens, it instantly has to be my fault. No possibility in the world that it could just be something in his head."

"You're lying! You' always lying! You're a pathological liar!" Haldir complained.

"Yes, I am. But everybody has problems, don't they?"

"He's messing with my mind," Haldir said, edging on whining.

"See, that's your problem. What about you, Elhith?"

Elhith opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it and blinked a few times.

"Bit shy about sharing?" Sauron asked, with a ridiculous understanding expression on his face. "You'll come around."

"Speaking of problems though, you still need to be brought before the Valar today!" Haldir put in.

Sauron frowned. _That was low_, he responded grouchily.

Haldir smiled smugly as the two elves saw back to their duties and herded Sauron forward again.


	11. Valinor's Good Influence on Bad People

Okay, I'm trying to do that update-once-a-week thing, but we'll have to see how it goes depending on GollumRox's schedule. She's very busy. But hopefully she'll get some time to put it up.  
  
Just to let you all know, I'm working on chapter fourteen right now. Twelve hardly counts though, it's only like a page. Anyways, I'm trying to get ahead a bit since I know these chappies with Sauron's view on things are going to be a bit... different, especially now that I'm having to introduce like 13 more new characters and all that. All the pain and suffering I go for you guys. *sigh* I'm trying to figure out all the things the Valar can say in a trial-ish thing and yet be funny right now, and slowly I'll get there. But there, now you have an idea of where the Valar chapter is. If you have any suggestions for it, please tell me and I'd be happy to try and work them in!  
  
Well then, reviews! Yippy!  
  
XNemesis: Shibbay. I liked the thing about Eonwe, and I kinda put that in, the essence of it. Hehehe. Yeah, and I figured that Aule might be a bit miffed. Well, I'm already insane and am in the process of taking over the universe. I have three planets that the squigem got for me, but no parts of earth yet. But I have the first five steps planned out, but nothing for sure after that. I'll just have to see how difficult the populous of the world ends up. And all of my friends have their roles too. Wow, it's like paralleling stuff. Woooo.... I dunno what I would do with Tolkien estates though. I'd probably end up groveling in front of Christopher Tolkien or something degrading like that. But if I am the one who ends up taking over the world and stuff, you can be included in my 'cabinet' or something if you want. You just need to say what you want to do. And I think most people would have blown up, but remember, Haldir was picked cause he wasn't suppose to be as easy to get to. Not to say that he is without getting to. ...... That was a really bad sentence. Oh well.  
  
AzureDragoness: It seems that many people are freaked out by my story. I'm one of them too, but it's all goooood. I'm not telling what the whole Rondae thing is about, but maybe soon. Hehehee.  
  
Elderberry: That would be so awesome if there was a point when that could be an answer. I loved that phrase though, "cower, insignificant minion." I loved it so much that I was saying it to my friends, and then I got a bit carried away and said it to my mom. But it was all good. I'm going to quote you on that.  
  
Mystic Catface: Glad that it is still fun. Bickering is jolly stuff, at least, in controlled environments.   
  
Kit Cloudkicker: Wow, you said so much in your reviews that were like things that I wrote about that it kind of creeped me out. I talked about the warning about seeing the Valar thing, and the doing something about Sauron getting into peoples' minds. Creeepy. Anyways, yeah, it was low, but Sauron is low too so he doesn't deserve as good of treatment as most people. I do watch Sponge Bob sometimes, but it was GollumRox who made the chapter title. I had no idea what it was all about except that it said liar, so that was good enough for me!   
  
Joana: Thank you very much! That was a nice thing to hear, it made me feel special. And welcome to the fic! I hope you enjoy the rest as much as you have been enjoying it so far!  
  
lute: Sauron's been getting a lot of feelings of pity lately. Maybe I need to get him to do something bad... Muahahaha! Thank you for reviewing!  
  
Lola-j: now that is a nickname for you that I have not seen before. That's okay though! I'm glad that although you have only read two chapters that you are enjoying it.   
  
pherhyandoiel: I love Dr. Pepper. Especially Red Fusion, that's the best. But they only sell it in the 12 packs and so I don't get it often, but today I puppy-eyed my mom enough that she got it! Weeeee!!!!! That makes me happy cause it is so good. Especially when you haven't had anything to eat since dinner the night before, then you go really crazy. It's awesome. And *gasp*! How could I have not seen Monty Python? You obviously have not read my bio. Monty Python and the Holy Grail happens to be my favorite comedy ever, and I learned the Camelot Song and the Sir Robin Song. Very very funny stuff, love it.   
  
Well anywho, that was fun. And as promised, here's my hopeful update for the week!  
They walked on for a while more; Haldir guessed it to be around noon when he could finally see some change to the scenery as the trees became less dense.  
  
In the distance, slightly to the right, there was another city as large as Tirion, but not condensed upon a hill but spread throughout the valley. As before, it emanated a certain glow, only he could tell that here it was greater, even though it was still a ways away.  
  
"Valmar," Elhith said, noticing what Haldir was looking at. "The city of the Valar. We'll be there in twenty minutes, I'd say, at the pace we're going now."  
  
"What will we do when we get there?"  
  
"Well, Terendul and Vanimo were the escorts, so they will bring him before the Valar in Mahanaxar."  
  
"That is where Morgoth was sentenced wasn't it?" Haldir asked. Sauron visibly spazzed at his words, but did not stop.   
  
"Yes, the Ring of Doom."  
  
_Did you hear that, Sauron_? Haldir thought to himself as loudly as he could, hoping that Sauron would have no other choice but to listen. _You just can't seem to get away from those darn rings of doom, can you_?  
  
After a mental sound of irritation, Sauron responded. _Do you remember what I said to you earlier_?  
  
_Mmm_... _vaguely_. _Something about head smashing and getting annoyed_.  
  
_Yes, well, this would be one of those times when it would be wise not to try and intentionally provoke me_.  
  
_Ah, are you stressed Sauron_? Haldir asked.  
  
_Frankly, yes, a bit_. _What was your first clue_?  
  
_Just an educated guess_.  
  
_Well, just as a hint, give me a bubble that's like twenty feet wide after this_. _It would be to your benefit_.  
  
_Well, if it benefits me_...  
  
He stopped there, and Sauron did not make any reply, which Haldir was glad of.  
  
Soon Haldir was able to tell that they were going downwards, and the glow ahead of them became obscured by the hills.  
  
There were other signs that made it apparent that they were close. The path ahead changed from short grass to perfectly laid stone, and then to gold. Terendul and Vanimo, as Elhith has called them, stopped here and tidied themselves up a bit, pulling their cloaks about them in a more formal fashion.   
  
"Is there anything I should be doing?" Haldir asked when even Elhith brushed his tunic.  
  
"No, I do not think that you will be called to go before them so there is no need today. Had you been, you probably would have had time to get cleaned up. They must though, since they will be going in."  
  
During all this Sauron stood impatiently a little ahead, folding up the gray blanket that he had held around him all this time until now. He still looked a bit damp; his hem dripped a few forlorn drops to emphasis the point. Frowning at the two elves who were tugging at their tunics and yanking on their cloaks, he sighed. "I am just going to go on alone if you two don't hurry up."  
  
The elves looked at him with surprise. "You can't go ahead of us," one said matter-of-factly while sitting on the ground re-lacing his boots.  
  
Sauron leaned forward, and then whispered. "Watch me."  
  
With that he turned about and continued down the path. After a couple steps however, he paused and faced them again. "I had a thought. Catch, Haldir." He tossed the blanket to Haldir, who reflexively held out his hands, instantly regretting it as the blanket was soaking. "Can't be going to a trial holding a blanket," he said steadily, although it was apparent that the thought discomforted him.  
  
By the time he was walking again, the other elves had finished and were hurrying to catch up with him, not looking at all pleased. Which, Haldir reflected, was probably Sauron's point in doing it.  
  
It was only a few minutes afterwards that the hills suddenly spread apart, the plain opening up before them. At first it seemed that there was nothing different, but then Haldir became away of something that could not be seen but was felt which made it seem even grander. Everything was flooded with a bright golden light that could not be completely contributed to the sun.   
  
They continued on, not even allowing Haldir a moment to try and soak it in. He thought that was very unfair as he hadn't been in such a place before like the others had. Although he didn't know how long Sauron had been 'good' and thus couldn't really assume that he had been there, Haldir figured that Sauron could really care less.   
  
There were tons of people everywhere, however they seemed to be out simply on everyday errands. Haldir was very glad of that, thinking that if people were able to connect him to Sauron, that it might make it a bit hard to fit in.  
  
A couple people greeted Elhith, however none spoke a word to Terendul or Vanimo. Haldir figured that it must have been some unspoken rule that they, obviously on business, were not to be bothered.  
  
The road suddenly became more broad ahead, passing under an arch in a wall and disappearing into whatever lay beyond.  
  
Haldir was all ready to go on, but they stopped. One of the other elves, Haldir was still unsure as to which one was which, spoke to Elhith in the same tongue used before, irritating Haldir quite a bit. He knew that they could speak his language; they had spoken it earlier!  
  
He rolled his eyes, wondering what they felt they couldn't share with him.  
  
_He says that Elhith is to bring you to the house you will have here, and that we will be going ahead_.  
  
Haldir looked up at Sauron with surprise. _Thanks_, he thought, a bit baffled.  
  
_Anytime_. _Well, not anytime_... _in fact, that was probably just an isolated incident and you shouldn't expect anything like it to happen again_.   
  
Haldir kept himself from smiling for once. Sauron looked about ready to slap himself for having said something helpful, however he did not get the opportunity as it seemed that all the information had been given.  
  
The elves started towards the arch, pushing Sauron forward along with them. Elhith turned to Haldir and smiled. "Well, that's taken care of now. Would you like to see where you will be living?"  
  
Haldir nodded slowly, and they turned down a street on the left, leaving the busy road.  
So there ya go. Oh yeah, I was wondering if there was anything that you guys didn't want me to do in this. Cause I was just curious. And I know this is totally random, but if anybody had listened to the ROTK soundtrack, there is this awesome site that has the lyrics to the songs, the ones in elvish and stuff that you are just like "oh, that's pretty" to. Anyways, I looked at the site and they had the words for the song that is going on when Sam is holding Frodo and talking to him on Mt. Doom, and I was reading it and I just started crying. It was really pathetic, but it was so sweet! I love Sam and Frodo, they rock. *sigh* Yeah, there, I just needed to get that off my chest.


	12. Home Sweet Home

Ah, today was fun, just if any of you cared to know. I won't doubt that if I go and look at the chapter name that it ends up being something completely random. More than likely Mercy Peak... but don't ask. Hopefully none of you will be subjugated to such randomness completely irrelevant to the story. *gives GollumRox a Look* Anyways, yeah. Reviewssssss!!   
  
Saijin*Princess*Arien: Hello! *waves madly* Glad the story is good, I'll do my best to keep it that way!!  
  
Carmen: Wow, your review was kinda creepy. I don't even want to know about you guys impeding on each other's mental space or something...   
  
Azrael: Weeee!!! Spiffy, I feel loved. And Sauron's feeling loved for like the first time in his life but he wouldn't get it.  
  
GollumRox: The chapter title was so not true, but we've gone over it and worked out stuff, didn't we darling? And yeah, maybe you should, you know, update once and a while. Hehe. And please be nice to Juana, she's the only wifey you'll ever get, you pearl obsessed freak!! Anyways... lots of random comments, some things I don't want to probe into... oh. MERCY PEAAAK!!! muahahahaha.  
  
Pherhyandoiel: Normally I only have red fusion in the summer when I go to Iowa, because then they have it in the bottles. And that's spiffy.   
  
Mystic Catface: Spazzing is like having your muscles flex unintentionally. I think that would be the proper way to say it. Like, somebody who has a tick or something, you know. Sometimes when you hear something or see something you don't want to, you spaz. Or more properly you have a spasm. But whatever, it's all good. Actually, Sauron isn't completely to his normal evil self, he's just to his annoying jerk self, but I'll get him up to evil sometime. Yeah, and they have an odd relationship... and I'm not even sure what I'm going to do with it. Blegh.  
  
Ewan McGorgeous: I do like being bowed to. And now I can just command her to bow to me cause I bought her soul for a sour apple laffy taffy! MUAHAHA- oh wait, I didn't buy her soul. I made her swear fealty to me forever. Well... it's still close enough and she still has to bow. But we already got the chapter title thing squared away.  
  
XNemesis: At first I didn't think I'd have like anything about Eonwe, but I think I'll have more of him than I thought at first. I dunno yet though, I'll just have to see what happens. Yes, we'll have to work something out with the world. Could cause some chaos and crap like that. But that's still out there a bit so we can worry about it later! Actually I was thinking that Haldir wouldn't know Quenya. Because he was a silvan elf more than likely, and the only elf who might speak Quenya would be Galadriel. However, I doubt that she would speak it cause she wouldn't have anybody to speak it with, because Celeborn wouldn't know it because he was from Doriath and Thingol had put a ban on anybody speaking Quenya, and pretty much all of the elves of Lorien wouldn't either. So I bet that Haldir would only know like Sindarin. And therefore it was my thought that the elves in Valinor were speaking Quenya, and that was why Haldir couldn't figure it out.   
  
Kit Cloudkicker: Yeah, maybe that is Sauron's problem. Just too many voices. Hehehe... I know it bothers me  
  
Lobo Diablo Lone Wolf: Sauron isn't that bad? o_O Hmm... did you miss like the list of bad things he did? I mean... he's evil!! He's a total meany pushy snooty power-obsessed jerk! Of course, it amuses my diabolical side, but he's still bad. Bad bad bad!   
  
Black Thunder44: I feel so powerful, inspiring feelings of pity for a person so naughty! Kudos to me! Hahaha, yeah, he is really unlucky. And weird enough I talk about that in another chapter too. Wow!!  
  
Demonica: Elves like stars. Ta-da, now you get it. Weeee.... and I'm never explaining anything to you because you just ignore me! *bursts into tears* But whatever. Hehe.... anyways. And so you know they didn't walk onto an airplane smart one, it said boat. Derr. Pay attention! Muah... so wow, you had a ton of catching up to do. Wow. And shucks, that was some nice things to say. Tht is what you should do, lay on the compliments. I wish I could just be a writer... I'd love that. But sadly that is a very hit-or-miss job. Rumil is Haldir's... brother, yes. And I'm glad you could vent.  
  
Darth T-Rex: *smiles stupidly* I'm glad that I'm able to pull off Sauron well. It was a bit hard at the start, but I'd like to think that I've gotten the formular for it now!  
  
Elderberry: Well, I told you that I was going to quote you! It was a snazzy quote! *snaps fingers* Aww... come on? You don't want Sauron to start spouting love songs and getting stuff for the benefits of other people besides himself? No romantic moonlight strolls along the beach? ... Okay I'm going to stop now cause I'm just about making myself gag. No worries, Sauron wouldn't be able to figure out love if it slapped him across the face. So no matter what something looks like, don't worry.   
  
Weeeeeeeeell then, here's the chappie! A bit short yes, but as this is a long weekend, I'll hopefully have another posted before next monday.   
  
Elhith led the way, turning down streets that became less crowded and narrower as they went, allowing the lanes of grass to become wider. Everything was pleasant and peaceful. Haldir could tell that he would like it there.  
  
The road was finally only a few feet wide when Elhith turned into an alley and walked nearly all the way to the end. "The buildings each have two homes, one in the front half and one in the back," he explained as they went. "It was figured that having the back would be better, a bit more secluded from everybody else."  
  
"That was probably a good idea."  
  
"Yes, it probably was."  
  
Elhith opened the door, and then stood back so that Haldir could go in. Slowly, he took a step inside, but did not get much farther than a few feet.  
  
Unlike his previous home, which had been very modestly furnished, he could already tell that this one was full of luxuries that he would never have even dreamed about. Of course, living in a building was a bit different from living in a flet in a tree, so that might have had a bit to do with it. There was only so much you could put up in those.  
  
Elhith came in, shutting the door behind him. "It isn't very much all told, but it should be large enough that if you need to get some space, you should be able to find it without having to go out into the city. However, there is a lawn down the alley a bit farther, so you could go there if you really wanted to."  
  
Haldir nodded, and then looked around the house a bit, very slowly, almost leery of it because of its size.   
  
"The bedrooms are upstairs, if you cared to know."  
  
Haldir quickly turned around and frowned. "Upstairs?"  
  
"Yes, on the second story."  
  
"There is another level?" Haldir asked, blinking a couple times.  
  
"Well, the rooms wouldn't be up there if there wasn't."  
  
This needed a moment of consideration. Yes, Haldir had realized that the buildings were quite large and that it was likely that they would have more than one floor, however he had not really anticipated that he would be living somewhere like that. Very rarely had anybody had homes which had more than one level. Haldir figured that only the most noble of their people had homes like that, such as Galadriel. But the thought that he would now live somewhere with two stories, well, that was a bit much.  
  
He summed it up to compensation. He'd need all the room he could get after all.  
  
For a while after that he looked around, opening drawers and peaking in closets, just to see what was in them. Everything was pretty set and taken care of, and Haldir could not think of anything pressing that he would need to get.  
  
Presently he came back to what seemed to be the main room where he found Elhith reading a book. He sat down on one of the couches and looked out a window for a bit before speaking. "Well, what do we do now?" he asked.  
  
Elhith did not turn his attention away from his book when he replied. "We wait."  
  
Wow, yeah, that was short. The review thing was almost longer! But hopefully another one. Just gotta wait a day or two!


	13. Sauron Broods a Bit

Here's the other chapter, just like I said! And it's the chapter somewhat from Sauron's point of view. Dun dun dun... but anyways, this chapter isn't very long either, but I hope you like it anyways.   
  
Reviews already! Yippy!  
  
AAAclub: *bows* I feel so special! Favorites list! Yippy! That's neat that you don't just like the story, you love it! Special special! Well, I hope that you continue to love it!  
  
Pherhyandoiel: Yey! I have to read the Silm again... ugh, I'd kinda forgotten about that. Only it won't be as fun because I have to pick it apart for stylistic elements. Blegh. Oh well. You only drank red fusion? Wow... I'd get way hyper if I did that, and it wouldn't be healthy for anybody!  
  
Vareal: Mmmm *rubs chin* I like it! I'll have to work in the cooking thing, that's good. Jolly idea. And yeah, what with having to get used to such a big house and his bad direction sense, he might just wander off and nobody would know where to find him!  
  
Mystic Catface: Elhith didn't sugar coat that one at all. I don't think that he'll be very sarcastic much, as Sauron and Haldir do enough of that, but I couldn't help but add that in.   
  
GollumRox: I'm not keeping the chapter title. I'm going to change it and I told you I would so that you shouldn't get worked up about it. Wasn't yesterday spiffy? I'm still laughing. I saw ROTK again and I kept like going back and thinking of the spoof and snorting from trying to contain my laughter. It was awesome.  
  
Lobo Diablo Lone Wolf: Of course he's not evil at the moment, he's just a jerk. But as I say, he'll get evil once and a while. His evilness hasn't been corrected yet, so he for all intents and purposes evil still. Yup!  
  
Kit Cloudkicker: It wasn't like I didn't tell you all that it wouldn't be short. I said 2 different times that it would be. But I have another chapter. Doesn't that make up for it? :(  
  
Um... righty then. Here's the next not-quite-so-short-but-still-not-long chapter!!  
  
Sauron was displeased with himself. He couldn't remember the last time he had done something that was helpful and he'd just ruined his record. He was not very fond of ruining things, well, at least his things. He could really care less about ruining things for other people. In fact, that had been his number one priority for a long long time.  
  
It was all the stupid elf's fault. If only he was a bit more cheery and light-hearted like Elhith, or at least a bit happy like most elves, then there wouldn't really be any problems. However, Sauron wasn't use to dealing with elves who had attitudes like Haldir's and it had tripped him up and made him have a brain lapse.   
  
Unfortunately, he realized that he'd been in a lapse pretty much since he'd gotten out of Mandos. He'd even gone so far as to tell that stupid elf that he didn't really feel like offing him, which was one of those things that dark lords weren't suppose to tell people. You keep those things secret. If people think that they are in a situation where their well being is at stake, they will comply with about anything. However, you tell them that they aren't really in too much danger and they get out of hand.  
  
Sauron didn't like not having control. He had to have control of everything so that he could order it as he saw fit, which probably had a lot to do with why he'd gotten into the whole take-over-the-world thing in the first place. Now though, things were completely out of his control and it was driving him nuts. He contemplated on whether that was what was making him act so oddly, that he didn't even have a smidgen of authority.  
  
Everything just always kept going down. Nothing ever looked up for him. He figured that he should have realized that just when he thought he had finally won for good that something would happen and that he would be defeated. That was what had always happened, without exception. And to add insult to injury, it always was in some really degrading way, as Feanor had pointed out.  
  
_I have to have the worst luck of anybody ever_, he thought to himself as they walked under the arch, completely convinced that there wasn't anybody that had it worse off than him. However, after a moment of reflection, he supposed that Turin probably had taken it a bit more. Hey, but at least he was able to die and just get it over with. Not that Sauron was actually sure what happened when men died, but he figured it would be better than what he was in for.  
  
He distinctly remembered when Morgoth had been sentenced to three ages completely alone in Mandos. Well, actually he hadn't known the details for a very long time, but he had expected that being taken prisoner would logically be followed by being put in a prison or something. Morgoth had told Sauron all about it once he returned. He never had really been the same after that though, always a bit off, which Sauron figured having three ages with only yourself to talk to could do.  
  
That being the case, he wasn't too keen on seeing what would happen to him. He hadn't been too keen on the idea two ages ago either when Morgoth had been overthrown and Eonwe had come to take him to be brought before the Valar. By this time however his list of horrific deeds had grown over twofold, and what he had been afraid to get way back when would probably look pretty nice compared to what he would receive now.  
  
Besides the fact that he dreaded the outcome of the trial, seeing ages upon ages spent there forced to 'heal the hurts' that he had caused the world, there was the fact that he was completely and utterly terrified of the Valar. After that battle he had really repented for a while, but only because he had been totally freaked out, having forgotten their power and grandeur. And by now he'd pretty much forgotten again, however he remembered that it must have been great for him to have reacted the way he had.  
  
To make matters worse, of the ainur he was the lesser degree, a maia. And as that stupid elf had pointed out, he had served another before Morgoth, and he was sure that Aule would not be very happy with him.   
  
He felt sick to his stomach, worse than he had on that boat. It was just lovely that when he finally had a body for the first time in a long while that he only felt cold and wet and as though his stomach was about to explode. It was just great.  
  
Although he had never been in Valinor before, he knew that they were very close to that Mahanaxar thing. He could feel it, a change in the air which didn't do anything good for his nerves.  
  
Quickly he tried to rid himself of all his anxieties so that he could have some semblance of dignity before them, tried to screw up some of that pride he had always had so that hopefully they would not realize how apprehensive he was. Such an appearance wouldn't be well liked, however he knew that he was already doomed so it didn't make any difference how he went down. He might as well appear undaunted.  
  
Another arch was before them now, this one gated. As they came, the gate pulled back although there didn't seem to be anybody to open it, and with the light that came through Sauron felt a throb of power which just about made him gag. "I'm guessing we're there," he said softly.  
  
The elves turned around but did not reply. "Stay here," one of them commanded with a threatening glare, which honestly didn't make Sauron feel that threatened.   
  
The two elves now walked under the arch. Sauron considered going on too, if only to make them mad, but then decided that he needed a moment more to put up his facade. As he stood there, he could hear them speaking, and he waited for the eminent summon for him to enter.   
  
He didn't have to wait long. He only half recognized the voice which spoke. "Bring him in."  
  
See that was longer. Yet I still put off the trial thingy! MUAHAHAHA!! Ah, yeah, that's the next chapter, so now you only have to wait until next Saturday! :-D


	14. The Trial! Oooo!

Oh guys, I'm really sorry that I didn't get this posted like I promised. I meant to, honestly, however I couldn't. Because fanfiction blocked me. Because they removed two of my spoofs for reasons unbeknownst to me, and they said I couldn't post for a week, and that happened last Monday. *goes off and cries in a corner* Anyways, so I'm trying to get this one done today. I'll still have another one ready for the upcoming Saturday. That better?  
  
Now I know I've been terrible at making the little things talking about who the people are and stuff, and I just kind of refigured that not everybody in the world has read the Silm, so I'm going to try and be better at that, although I've kinda been trying to work them into the context. But I'll explain a bit on this one. Okay?  
  
**Nessa**: Vala of... um... actually I dunno. But she likes to dance. And she likes deer. **Vana**: Again a Vala whose actual title job thing I do not know! She is called the Ever-young though, birds like her, and flowers spring up where she walks. Spiffy trick, eh?  
**Tulkas**: "Greatest in strength and deeds of prowess." Tireless, good runner, always happy, things that I would very much like to be myself...  
**Orome**: Likes horses, doggies, and hunting evil things. Is called the Lord of Forests.  
**Neinna**: Vala of pity and hope and stuff like that. She is like never happy because she can only think of all the sad stuff that has happened to people and she mourns for them. So she cries... a lot.   
**Irmo**: Vala of dreams and visions.  
**Este**: Vala of sleep and rest and maybe healing but I can't remember for sure off the top of my head.  
**Ulmo**: Vala of the sea, the Lord of the Waters, lives in the ocean, etc. etc.  
**Vaire**: Vala, Namo's wifey. She weaves. Yup.  
**Yavanna**: Guess what? Another Vala! Called the Queen of the Earth, but like, growing things earth, ya know? She loves plants and growing stuff.  
**Aule**: I already talked about him so I shouldn't need to talk again!!  
**Manwe**: The king dude of the Valar, highest up in the rankings... he loves wind and really fast birds!  
**Varda**: The queen of the Valar, she made the stars and so all the elves are obsessed with her. Also called Elbereth, tada.  
**Eonwe**: A maia, he is Manwe's herald and bannerbearer.  
**Eldar**: Elves who beheld the light of two spiffy trees. Yes, they were trees that gave off light. And the light made the elves that saw it more powerful than the elves who didn't. Okay?  
**Moriquendi**: Translated "dark elves" because they didn't see the light! Of the spiffy trees!!! Therefore they are not as powerful.  
  
Weeeeeell, I think that was it. I seriously was trying to be brief with that! Ok, so, reviewers!!!  
  
Haldir's Lover: I hope that you're happy! Because of your review I was limited to a twitching pile in a corner!! No, THIS IS NOT SLASH!!! UGH! That's just, sick! SICK SICK SICK!! Why did you even allow my over-active imagination to be exposed to something like that! BLEGH! No no no, not slash. *twitch* And I met Haldir, or rather Craig Parker. It was spiffy.  
  
GollumRox: Yeah, I do think that person called me Sarah. How odd. Hehe, yeah, I was wondering when you'd figure out that I changed the titles. I was getting a little annoyed, but you finally looked! Yippy!   
  
Zeal2: I'm going to take not bad as a compliment and say thank you! Yes, I know the chapters need to be longer, and the next couple are longer. But when I am trying to post once a week I get a bit crunched. See, I'd write after school, however I always have a couple hours of homework so I end up draining myself so completely that I only have the weekends to write. And not only do I try to cram in my fanfic writing, but I try to get my serious writing done as well, and to do that I need to stay up really late... late requires caffeine, and well, there you have it. But the next couple are longer, I swear.  
  
lo: Who's Sarah? *ponders* Oh well, whatever. Homework is evil. It is the cause of much grief. Especially the quarter projects in English... And you liked the conclusion? Hehehe... yeah, me too. Hahaha!  
  
AzureDragoness: I do not suck! I'm just cold, uncaring, and cruel! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm sorry that you feel the need to glare at me, but in a way that is quite the compliment as it would imply that you are enjoying the story!!  
  
Carmen: Well, I have you and Zeal2 who say totally different things about chapter length. Oh well. I'm sorry that you thought the chapter was dry, but it might have been funnier if you had known what in the heck I had been referring to through half of it. You were kinda in the dark, and the dark is never fun unless you are Boo, Gollum, or Creep. And I'm sure that Sauron had a sense of humor, only... it was like really evil. Derr. Honestly, ever single time there is something written with him in it, he laughs. Obviously he found something amusing. And I'm not a dark lord. I'm female thank you very much.   
  
Pherhyandoiel: I can spell your name without looking now! Wee! But I'm not a fool, I'm just... well, stuff. But not foolish, most times at least.  
  
Kit Cloudkicker: Yeah, Sauron won't be happy. I've kinda toyed with Finrod being there, but I'm not sure if I will have him come or not. We'll see.  
  
Saijin*Princess*Arien: I'm glad that you are enjoying it! Yes, they both need a bit of help. Everybody does, but them more than most I think. Somebody will need to have a spaz attack besides me. Hehehe, yeah, we'll see. It'll probably be Sauron. Like, when he finds out that Frodo is in Eressea or something like that.   
  
XNemesis: Well I suppose that after being around Morgoth for all that time, and all his dark evil evilness, that you'd kinda forget what it was like to be around like, what, fourteen valar who were all light and splendor. And I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast this morning, so if he has a bad memory I won't blame him for it. Anywhooo, I'm glad you're still amused. I'll try to keep you entertained!  
  
Darth T-Rex: Yea! Hooked! Weeee!! I hope that what I wrote meets expectations, I tried really hard on this chapter and it took me forever! So I hope it's okay...  
  
FunktasticMe: I hope that you enjoy the rest of this once you've gotten around to it! I wish you could read my TTT spoof... *sniff*  
  
Mystic Catface: Glad you likey! I considered going off on the glare thing and Sauron thinking about 'oh yeah, you wanna see a glare, well you should have seen me when...' and stuff like that, but I chose not to, obviously! I am cruel, aren't I? Not like I ever said I was nice though... ;-D  
  
AAAClub: Feeling special and loving things are good, so I think that we have a good deal worked out.  
  
Wow, that was a lot! Snazzy. So here's you overdue chapter for which I am very very  
sorry. I hope that it was worth the wait!!!   
  
The two elves appeared again, and Sauron went forward when they motioned. Right inside was a short flight of stairs which they went up. Sauron was a bit more than reluctant to go up them, however he made it to the top without losing it.  
  
Standing there he instantly stiffened, unconsciously of course. There was a crescent of seats facing towards him, and without counting he knew there was fourteen. And there were more, others who were not seated.  
  
Sauron looked around the group, slowly recognizing the faces of the people present. There was Vana and Orome, and Tulkas and Nessa. Tulkas looked about ready to pummel him, and Sauron was almost a bit glad that they were at a council so that he would not get the chance, for a while at least.  
  
Next to them was Neinna, who had just about instantly burst into tears as soon as Sauron had entered and was continuing to carry on. He looked at her and shook his head. She had always tried to be such a drama queen, and apparently hadn't gotten out of the phase yet.  
  
There was Irmo, who was very similar in appearance to his brother Namo, only a bit less brooding looking. Today he seemed to have it remarkably together and was concentrating on what was going on at the moment instead of staring off into space daydreaming. His wife, Este, sat next to him, sleeping, which didn't surprise Sauron much as that was pretty much all she did anyways. Of course near them was Vaire and then Namo, who Sauron wondered a bit to see considering that earlier it seemed that he wouldn't be coming. Then again, he figured that it wouldn't have been much of a party without the doomsman.  
  
Sauron was able to tell that him being there was a really big deal when he saw Ulmo. Considering that he had always done just about anything he could to get out of the councils, Ulmo must have felt that this was important enough that he should be present. While Sauron felt a bit proud at the fact that he had warranted Ulmo getting out of the sea for once, it also made him about twenty times more apprehensive.  
  
Then there was Yavanna, and next to her sat Aule. His face was blank and unreadable, but it didn't take any amount of intelligence to figure out that he was quietly seething. Sauron felt about a million memories that had gotten lost in the heap of them he had accumulated over time try to resurface themselves, however he put a mental cork over them as that was not the time, not that he was really planning on ever letting himself have the time. Still, he couldn't push off the fact that he had learned much from Aule, and that he owed a lot of his own works to his teachings, however reluctant he was to admit it even to himself.  
  
And last was Manwe and Varda, and it was the sight of them that caused Sauron to feel as though his knees would give out. That was definitely not acceptable behavior however, as laying face down on the floor would do nothing for that plan of acting with conceited dignity. It might have been okay if he had been thinking of going down the path of pretending to sue for pardon, but he had figured out long before, meaning about two days ago while he had laid staring at the ceiling of his cell, that they wouldn't be making the same mistake with him as they had with Morgoth. So, considering that he did not have a Plan B, he had to do everything in his power to keep hold on the original one.  
  
It was harder than he thought it would be, but then that part of him in which the disposition of a dark lord had been ingrained (which was about 99%) kicked in. He almost felt disgusted, amazingly, however the presence of that emotion did not make the feeling that he was going to make the ground's acquaintance go away. It just gave him enough gumption to be ready to try and make some snippy remarks.  
  
The two elves slowly walked back towards the gate, but Sauron hardly noticed them go. He was watching the Valar, waiting for which one would speak first.  
  
As he waited, one of the people who stood behind Manwe and Varda stepped forward, and Sauron recognized him as Eonwe. _Great_, Sauron thought to himself, _I'm going to get listed_.  
  
At least that is what he thought would happen. It seemed likely that they would want to rant off all of the things which he had done that had gone against the designs or whatever in hopes of making him see how bad he had really been. Not that he needed them to recount all the events for him to see that he had been bad as he knew he was being so whenever he had done them, which was often. In fact, half of the fun of doing all those terrible things was knowing that they were terrible.  
  
"It has been the decision of those present that you realize what you have done and therefore will not need to have them retold to you," Eonwe said in answer to his thoughts.  
  
Ah yes, he'd forgotten that just like he had been able to read Haldir's thoughts, they would be able to read his. That would make things a bit more interesting.  
  
"So if you're not trying just to put me in my place, wherever you happen to think that is, then what are you trying to do?"  
  
"Oh, but they are going to put you in your place," Eonwe said, a slight smirk on his face. Then he whispered, "You should have just come along when I told you to and you would have been able to skip most of this."  
  
Sauron replied in an equally quiet voice. "Yes, but I would have also missed the height of my power, my golden age as you all might say."  
  
"Well, I hope it was worth it." He turned to the assembly and raised his voice so that they could hear. "Here is Sauron, the servant of Morgoth, enemy of the people of Arda," he said as way of formal introduction.   
  
Sauron did not really agree with such a declaration. He had, after all, been serving himself for the last two ages, even if he had been following a lot of the principles that Morgoth had set down. And he wasn't the enemy of everybody, just most of everybody.  
  
Eonwe then returned to his spot, and Manwe spoke, his voice possessing such power that although Sauron wanted to say something smart-mouthed, he could not. "Let Namo pronounce his doom."  
  
Well that was right to the point. All things considered he would probably be done in less than five minutes.  
  
Namo stood up, and it was interesting to note how much more solemn his mood was now than it had been like a day ago. Of course, it would have lessened the tension in the air, and such trials were probably suppose to be very rigid.  
  
Sauron thought that Namo had a pretty cool job description, with the whole Lord of the Halls of the Dead and Doomsman of the Valar thing. Only, he'd didn't think that he would actually want to have that job, unless it was just the doom part. Doom always seemed synonymous with bad things happening to people. And that was always fun, unless you were on the receiving side. Like he was now.  
  
He was shaken from his thoughts upon hearing Namo's voice. "From now on, you shall abide in Valinor, and that condition will never be lifted for any reason."  
  
Even though it was disheartening to hear, it was not anything that he had not expected.  
  
"For an age you will not be allowed to go anywhere without Haldir of Lothlorien. After that time you will have leave to come and go in the limits of Valmar as you please, yet if you have need to go any further than that, Haldir must go along too."  
  
Poor Haldir. That'd be more of a punishment for him than anybody else.   
  
"You will not touch any sort of weapon for any reason."  
  
Sauron could care less about weapons. He had only wielded one on a few occasions, namely when the situation looked very very bad, so he hadn't really gotten any sort of love for them. The art of making them perhaps, but not really the things themselves. Then that whole thing with his finger getting hacked off hadn't really increased any appeal they had to him.  
  
"Occasionally you will be required to help in different tasks as we see fit."  
  
Sauron congratulated himself on having successfully guessed that one.  
  
"Under no condition will you reveal your identity to anybody."  
  
Whatever.  
  
"I'm serious. For no reason. If you do, not only will it backlash against you, but we'll make sure that you don't think that it was truly worth saying."  
  
Sauron wondered what more they could possibly take away. It wasn't a good thing to wonder as it was a law of nature that whenever such a question was speculated, something would come along and make the situation worse.  
  
"And any power you have which makes you above the firstborn will be blocked against you until you have proven that you can be responsible with those that you were originally endowed with."  
  
That took a couple moments to process. His ears had really piped up when he had heard 'power' as that was a word that had always been quite important to him. However the rest of the sentence didn't make complete sense at first.  
  
And finally he got it. He felt as though he'd swallowed a chunk of lead or something. "You're not serious," he said as more of a shocked statement than a question.  
  
"Actually, we are."  
  
"But..." he said, yet couldn't get anymore words out than that.  
  
"But what? You don't think that we have the authority to do that?"  
  
Sauron didn't answer, or more correctly couldn't answer. So much for conceited dignity. The plan had been pretty much crushed by that lead weight.  
  
"See, this is the part that is putting you in your place."  
  
For a moment more he stood there silently reeling, trying to figure out what all this would mean. However then that flicker of anger within him kindled. He was a bit surprised that it had been so dim all that time. "My place is not as an elf!" he spat, his ears ringing so that he could not even hear himself speak. He also felt the strange desire to stamp his foot, but he suppressed it.   
  
"Neither was trying to be the lord of Arda, and yet you seemed to think that you could grace such a position. Now you just need to learn to look to a new station."  
  
Sauron felt his brows pulled down into a tighter knot than they had been before. "You do not think that enough of my power had been destroyed in my ruin?" he asked, although he had trouble getting the words to form on his tongue.  
  
"I think that the actions that we are taking would mean that we do not believe that enough of it has been destroyed."  
  
He considered replying, but something perked up inside him and doused his rage. There wasn't any way that he could fight the present situation and win. He knew that he could not change their minds and that arguing would probably make it worse than better. So, although he did not want to accept the fact that this was the way his life was going to be, he did... to a point.  
  
In doing so, a question popped into his mind that somewhat revolted him. Not really the question, but that he had thought it so promptly. It made him think that perhaps he was accepting this a bit too quickly. "Now," he began slowly, absently tugging on his belt, "when you say that I'll only have those abilities or whatever that are those the firstborn have, are you referring to the Eldar or the moriquendi?"  
  
Although he couldn't be quite sure, Sauron almost thought that Namo might have smirked, however the expression was so fleeting that it just might have been a shift in the shiny light. "Well, it wouldn't really do for you to have such an advantage over Haldir, therefore it'll probably be the same as he, moriquendi."  
  
Sauron cursed under his breath, but didn't say anything audible.  
  
Oooooo, I hope that was good. I tried really hard, really I did!! I'll have another chapter Saturday, promise (well, I'll send it to GollumRox at least...)!


	15. Losing Power and Gaining Power

Ahh... I just spent all of my lovely Saturday reading the Silmarillion and typing up the stylistic crap you can find in it. Blegh. I tried to write some more, but the book got me in a dark mood with all its doom and gloom and nothing I could spout out was amusing. I kept thinking about that thing talking about Sauron and how he 'walked behind him on the same ruinous path down into the Void' thing and I couldn't snap myself out of it. It was just all too much darkness!! But anyways, enough complaining! Here's the chapter as I promised! Aren't I just wonderful? Hehehe... not really. Anywho...  
  
Ms. B: I'm glad you like it. That's spifffay.  
  
Pherhyandoiel: Yea, feeling special! That's always good. I would hate to have to fill in those bubbles on tests and stuff for your name and have one as long as Pherhyandoiel...   
  
Black Thunder44: I would post it if I had the capabilites. But my computer is stupid and can't do that. However, we are shopping for a new computer, so in a week or two I will be the master of my own chapters. Muahahaha. And I'll post them meself.  
  
XNemesis: Eonwe should have given him a raspberry. I'm all of a sudden obsessed with raspberries, I've been doing them a lot. Which isn't very good since they are very, oh, 4-year-old-ish, and that is sad.   
  
AzureDragoness: Well, I am sending this to GollumRox at 12:30 mountain...standard... time, whatever, I am never sure what the heck you call it. So technically I'm sending it on Saturday, so if she happens to be on the net this late, which could happen, she could post it before Sunday. I'm quite flattered that the story warrents a 'so help me lord.' I feel very spiffy.  
  
AAAclub: Yes they blocked me! It made me sad cause I told all of you that I'd update that Saturday and I didn't and I felt like I had not upheld my honor. ... Ok, I wouldn't go that far. But you understand, right? Sauron's going to need sugar or something... actually that's a creepy thought of having Sauron on a sugar high so scratch that. You'll have to wait a bit to really get to see what it'll be like for him having to go about life at the elf level though.  
  
Mystic Catface: Yes I believe quippy is a word. I know quip is at least. And if it isn't, it should be. Like musingly should be a word. Let's not go there. Of course I catch your drift, and it is a bit like that. Hadn't thought of that until you brought it up though, but it is a bit like that. One of my numerous nick-names was Brilliant for a time (it had to do with swing dancing and badminton and a covey of other random things) so I was a bit tickled that my chapter was brilliant. Fun stuff.  
  
Saijin*Princess*Arien: Don't feel sorry for Sauron! He's a terrible... dude. Feel sorry for Finrod. He was spiffy and I feel bad for him cause he died. Yeah... anyways. I'm updating! And the 'haha...haha...' laugh is spreading! MUAHAHAHA!!! Had you read my spoofies when they were up cause that's were he actually laughed like that. He laughs that way once in this, but that was because I was trying to make this like my spoofs but I quickly figured out I couldn't, but not quick enough to get rid of the one demented laugh. Just curious!  
  
All right, that was jolly. Ugh, I'm so tired. ANYWAYS! The one thing somebody might need to know, mainly those who do not pay seriously close attention to details when reading the books, is that **minuvor **is an elven cordial, or to put in even simpler terms an alcoholic drink. Righty-o?  
  
  
Haldir had reached the last rod counting the metal leaves on the stair banister when the door opened. Quickly he sat up from the couch that he had been sprawled across for the past hour or so. He instantly regretted it, his eyesight tilting from the abrupt movement, little dots swimming before his eyes.   
  
After digging his knuckles into his eyes and blinking a few times, his vision was finally clear and he was able to stand up. Elhith has already done so, setting the book which he had appeared to be reading down on a table. Haldir frowned slightly, noticing that the book was only opened to the title page. While he had thought that Elhith might have the ability to be a bit scatter brained, that was just ridiculous.  
  
However he did not get much time to think about it since he wanted to keep up with Elhith, still a bit unsure of the house. They only turned a few corners however when they came to the door.  
  
The light was very poor in the front hall, most of it coming from a window high on the wall opposite the door, and then from the open door itself. It was now early evening, and the three figures that stood at the doorway were just shadows, yet Haldir had no doubts as to who they were.   
  
One of the figures shoved the third in which allowed Haldir to figure that that would be Sauron. Elhith went to the door and talked to the other two who remained outside for a moment while Sauron came in a bit more.  
  
"So, how'd it go?" Haldir asked a bit timidly, unable to see Sauron's expression and therefore incapable of judging what sort of a statement would be best.  
  
The only response he got was an ambiguous grunt.  
  
"Now, would that be good or bad?" Haldir questioned quietly.  
  
"That would be bad."  
  
Haldir was a bit surprised that he had gotten any words out of him, especially since it had not gone well, apparently. He hadn't really thought that there was a way that it could have gone well, but he wasn't sure. Sauron was pretty twisted, so there was some possibility that he'd thought it had been okay.  
  
"Where's a chair?" Sauron asked blankly.  
  
With a slight frown, Haldir pointed back the way they had come. "Go down to the end and then to the right. I'm not sure from there, just check in the doorways and look for one."  
  
Silence followed his words, and Sauron moved off slowly in search of the chair. His frown still in place, Haldir looked after him, but was not able to consider going and making sure that he found a chair as Elhith called him over.  
  
He went to the small little group and waited expectantly. "Yes?"  
  
Elhith pointed to the elf on the left. "Terendul is going to tell you what happened at the trial, what sort of things were put in place and what you need to do."  
  
Haldir shifted his gaze from Elhith and looked at Terendul, who wasted no time getting to the point. "They decided that nobody is to be informed of his true identity. He, nor us three, may speak a word of it to anybody, for any reason."  
  
"That won't be difficult." It hadn't been like he had really planned on spreading the word to everybody anyways.  
  
Terendul looked at Vanimo. "What other ones would he have to know?"  
  
Vanimo frowned for a second, but then his eyes lit up. "He cannot handle anything that could be a weapon."  
  
Haldir nodded slowly. "Does that mean he can't use dinner knives or anything like that?" he asked as more of a joke.  
  
Terendul and Vanimo seemed to take it seriously though and exchanged a glance that made it obvious that they were not sure. "We'll get back to you on that. Until then, no."  
  
Haldir raised an eyebrow, but didn't voice his opinion that such a rule might have been a bit over the top. "Okay. What else?"  
  
"Anytime he wants or needs to leave the house, you must accompany him."  
  
Haldir turned that statement over a couple times in his head. "So it's up to my discretion if he goes or not?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
A impish smirk turned at the corners of his lips, but he did what he could to subdue it while they were present. "Is that all?"  
  
"While the ban on his leaving here without you is what will impact you the most, there was one other thing that it would probably be good for you to know."  
  
"And what would that be?" he asked although he was still pondering all the mean things he could make Sauron do if he ever wanted to leave.  
  
"If he ever makes any threat that involves his powers, don't believe him."  
  
That was a bit on the vague side, or maybe it just seemed vauge since he had only been paying half-attention. "What?"  
  
"He doesn't have the ability to hold that over you anymore."  
  
Well, that didn't really do anything except saying the same thing only in a different order. "How is that possible? Even though he's been overthrown and all that, surly he still is more powerful than I am?"  
  
"He was, yes, but the Valar put a block over his powers."  
  
Haldir blinked a couple of times, staring at Terendul. He looked at Vanimo, and then at Elhith, and back to Terendul. "So, what exactly...?" he trailed off.  
  
"A block. They made it so that any advantage he had over you that way was unusable, for now at least."  
  
"How?"  
  
Terendul shrugged. "It is not our place to know how they do these things. We only know that they did so. We thought that it would be wise to tell you, so that he couldn't try to force you into anything using that as leverage."  
  
"And also to explain why he won't have it all together for the next couple of days," Vanimo added.  
  
Terendul smirked. "Yes, we had quite a time just getting him back here, and it isn't that long of a walk."  
  
"No, only about fifteen minutes, and he was just about collapsing on the roadside!"  
  
"Got quite a few stares at that. I think some people must have thought he'd had a bit too much minuvor or something."  
  
"That happens every once a while. Terrible habit some of the people who come over from Middle-earth picked up while they lived there," Vanimo said, shaking his head slightly in a sad fashion.  
  
Haldir couldn't help but shift his gaze a little at that. He had attended some of those parties in Mirkwood, and after a couple rounds of that wine Thranduil had stocked up,  
well...   
  
"That isn't his problem though. He's just really really tired."  
  
"It's to be expected though after what the Valar did to him."  
  
"Indeed it is. He'll get over it soon enough though. I dare say you might think too soon!" Terendul said winking.  
  
"I see," Haldir said, although he only did so about half way, and the roundabout discussion that had just happened didn't do anything to clear it up.  
  
"Well, I'm sure you two have other things that you must see to today. Thank you for your help," Elhith said cheerily.  
  
The two bowed slightly in response and then went out into the alley again, leaving Elhith to shut the door behind them.  
  
Once he had the door shut, Elhith turned to look at Haldir. "Did you get all that?" he asked, his head tilted slightly.  
  
"Yes, I think so."  
  
"I know it's been a bit much, I'm sure. You've been out of the Halls, what, a day now? And already you've had all of this happen? Today will be the worst of it though. Life will get a rhythm soon, and things will ease out."  
  
Haldir smiled at this, realizing for the first time that all this had happened in pretty much a day. It was a lot now that he thought about it.  
  
"Now come on, I suppose we had better check on him and see how he's doing. It wouldn't do for us to be standing out here and have him laying out on the floor somewhere."  
  
  
If that wasn't long enough for you, wait for next Saturday. Chapter sixteen is the longest yet, I do believe. And then seventeen which I'm almost done with is even longer than that. Does that give you something to look forward to? Hm?


	16. Grovelling vs Bowing

Here it is, and as I say, it is longer! Spiffy hmmm? I'm so glad that I worked ahead, because otherwise this wouldn't be coming to you guys this weekend! Because of the demon of the 3rd Quarter English Project of Doooooom and Crap. I swear, ask GollumRox, it's reduced me to a stupid laughing idiot. It was one of the low points in my life, right up there is Mrs. T, but I will save you all the torture of that. So. Reviews!!!  
  
Elderberry: Did you know this one review of yours got sent to me like nine times? It was a bit much. If snippy is not a word, it should be. I totally know what you mean. It's so funny when people do things like that, and there is the collective gasp. Great stuff. Yeah, and it is like being stuck with a nasty 7 year old, who also happens to be very intelligent... just not necessarily completely mature. And I have a wisp of an idea of how it will end, but how I'm going to get to the end, well, I have about as much of a clue on that as you!   
  
XNemesis: Yeah, he probably looks like he's been passed out in a gutter for a while... really hot I'm sure. And raspberries are fun and childish, which is why I love doing them!!   
  
Twisted Mary Sue: I just think Sauron's funny in a completely not funny way. You know? Like... everything he does is just... it just doesn't work. So it's just funny. I mean, he's LAUGHING about the Numenoreans being destroyed, and as he laughs a huge old wave comes and drowns him! I've read the Silm 2 times, going on 3 currently. And you know, Sauron's only been out of Mandos for a total of like 1 day, so I think that he still has time for pranks, don't you? I mean, that was my plan...  
  
GollumRox: Don't repost them. But thank you. Heheheee... puppet...  
  
Darth T-Rex: I'm glad that the chapters are at least consistent! Hope you enjoy this chapter like the rest!  
  
Pherhyandoiel: Well, I didn't think that the last chapter was THAT short! Oh well, what can I do, hm? This one is longer, the next one is longer than this, and the one after that.. I don't think I'm done with it yet. No. But already it's like as long as this one so, that forebodes well hm? And I won't be thankful, because, because, because, um... because I feel like it! *childish fun raspberry*  
  
Spoofmaster: Wow, I'm amazed that I've inspired anybody to do anything. That's cooool. And just so you know, it took me reading the book two times before I actually could absorb everything. I mean, Fingolfin and Finarfin and all that stuff, I needed a read through once just to get the names. But if you think it's like a textbook, come talk to me and the 50 pages of typed up stylistic elements I have on the computer. I don't recall many metaphors and personification in textbooks... but that's okay! It's a ton of info, and info is always good.   
  
Carmen: Well, here's the answers! Tadum!  
  
AAAClub: I have no idea how long this will be. It's already longer than I thought it was going to get, and I'm not even close to like all the ideas I've got gummed up in my head. So it should be a while!!  
  
Saijin*Princess*Arien: Good. I couldn't recall any reviews by you on the spoofs, so I was a bit freaked out at first about the laugh thing... but now it is all good! Oh man, and you shouldn't feel bad for Sauron. He's such a mean little turd! I feel so bad for Finrod, it's so sad... WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THAT! WHY!!! Okay, I'm done. Just had to get that out of my system. Anyways, Morgoth's an even bigger turd than Sauron. But whatever, to each his own. I shouldn't argue really though as I'm here writing this bloody story with Sauron in it and I'm not making him out as evil as he is or anything... but oh well. I'm a hypocrite. It's all good.  
  
Ms. B: For a bio you need an account. But you can have an account without having any stories. So you could do that if you wanted. And of course I changed the title. GollumRox and her randomness.  
  
Okay, sorry if those replies were creepy, I tried to keep my brain in line but it was very very hard and I don't think it really worked. But I made an effort! So without further ado, here it is!  
  
  
  
They went back to the room at the rear of the house where they had been before and found Sauron flopped precariously across one of the couches. His head hung off the back in a manner that looked rather uncomfortable, but it didn't seem to bother him at all. In fact, from all the signs, he seemed to be asleep.  
  
Haldir and Elhith exchanged a glance but didn't say anything. For a moment they stood awkwardly at the doorway, and then Elhith went in and leaned over Sauron.   
  
He turned his head to Haldir and whispered very quietly. "Did you think that maiar could sleep? Especially this one?" he asked while rubbing his neck.  
  
"Not really... but it isn't as though I've come in contact with a lot of them in my life," Haldir replied.  
  
With a slight nod, Elhith looked down at Sauron again, still seeming quite confused.  
  
He was beginning to stand upright again when Sauron's eyes suddenly flew open. As people who have been startled out of their sleep tend to do, he let out something that vaguely resembled a strangled yell and slipped off the couch.  
  
Haldir couldn't help but laugh, and when he tried to contain it, it only made him snort.  
  
Elhith looked quite afraid for a moment, glued to his spot. However then he seemed to get it together a bit and reached over to help Sauron back onto the couch from his spot on the floor.   
  
Once there, Sauron roughly pulled his arm from Elhith's hand, and threw him a venomous glare. "What is wrong with you?" he hissed.  
  
"You really were asleep," Elhith mused.  
  
"No, you think?" he replied incredulously. "Apparently you have a problem with that though, wafting that elvish essence of yours around me," he said waving his hands in front of his face.   
  
Still snickering, Haldir moved from the doorway and sat on another couch across the room, watching the exchange with amusement.   
  
"Oh no, I didn't have a problem, not at all!" Elhith said shaking his head, his eyes very wide.  
  
"THEN WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP!?!"  
  
Haldir raised a brow at this outburst. "Geesh Sauron, he didn't mean to. We were both a bit surprised that you were asleep, and Elhith was just seeing if you really were."   
  
Sauron seemed to regain some of his cool and raised his head indignantly while crossed his arms. "What? You didn't think that I can sleep or something?"  
  
Haldir and Elhith glanced at each other again, but it was Haldir who answered. Naturally. "Well, no."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I seem to recall something about a lidless eye, and a sleepless malice, something along those lines. Or maybe I was just thinking of another Sauron," he ended shrugging his shoulders.  
  
"Oh, that." Sauron leaned back against the wall and slouched down, the angry energy he had seemed to have a moment ago draining away in seconds. "Yes, well, things were different then." He closed his eyes again. "Very different."  
  
The room was completely silent now, and it was an uncomfortable silence at that.  
  
However then Sauron slowly opened one eye a little and looked at Haldir. "And perhaps you didn't notice, which would be amazing with the eyesight you elves have, but I do happen to have eyelids now. Taken a step up in the world, or down, depends on how you look at it."   
  
There was a slight pause, but then Haldir chuckled softly. "Was that meant to be a joke Sauron?"  
  
Sauron looked at Haldir as though he had not idea what he was talking about, but then an expression of comprehension crossed his face. "Oh, that thing with how you look at stuff?"  
  
Haldir nodded.  
  
"No. But if it floats your boat to call it such, knock yourself out."  
  
Haldir shook his head but continued to smile. "Well, it was a lame one, but we'll call it a joke anyways."  
  
Elhith let out a somewhat shrill nervous laugh then, shifting his gaze quickly between Sauron and Haldir. Sauron closed his eye again and smiled slightly, seeming to do more so from Elhith's pathetic attempt at a laugh than from anything else.  
  
"Wonders upon wonders! A smile!"  
  
"Come now Haldir," Sauron said with false exasperation, "we've had this conversation before. I'm capable of smiling, laughing, and although this would not necessarily be true until recently, sleeping. Anything else you want to know?" He yawned loudly and slid further down the couch.  
  
Haldir scratched his chin a little and stared into space. That was quite the invitation.  
  
"Any time would be nice."  
  
"Well, at the moment I can't think of anything, so no."  
  
Sauron repositioned himself so that he was now laying down and then replied. "Good, because I don't think I'll be able to keep myself awake long enough to tell you anything that could count as an answer." There was another slight pause. "Oh yes," he said, although it was a bit muffled from the couch, "tomorrow I need to go out, therefore you will need to go out, so I suggest that you be ready."  
  
"Now, if I remember this correctly, it was you who was dependent on me for allowing these excursions to happen."  
  
"Well you remember wrong."  
  
"No, no, no, no. They told me that if you want to go out somewhere, you need me to come, and it is up to me whether we go or not. You can't make decisions like that anymore," Haldir said with just a hint of pride in his voice. Just a hint.  
  
There was a sigh, and Sauron turned over again so that he was facing Haldir. "Look here, there are things that I need to get taken care of tomorrow, and I'm going to see to them whether you come along or not."  
  
"Already going to break the rules?"  
  
"Well, I don't see why I should start following them now. But I won't have any reason to break them if you just listen to me and come along."  
  
"I'm not one of your little slaves to command around. If anything, it is a bit the other way around."  
  
There was a momentary flash in Sauron's eyes, but it left very quickly. "Don't even say things like that."  
  
"I didn't say it was a very good analogy, I was just making a point that it was closer one way than the other."  
  
Sauron shook his head, apparently getting tired with the conversation. "Just humor me and be ready to go in the morning."  
  
"What's in it for me?"  
  
"How about another day of my good will?"  
  
Haldir snorted. "Your good will? That might work for some people, but you're not one of them. It's like telling me that you will just cut off my head rather than torture me slowly."  
  
"Fine. I'll just go out there by myself."  
  
"The punishments will be very severe if you break the rules," Elhith put in.  
  
Sauron leaned forward. "Yeah, what are they going to do more than they already have? Hm?"  
  
"What did they do to your master?"  
  
Sauron looked off as though trying to grasp the whole of what that statement could ultimately imply, and then leaned back again. "All right, they could do that, I see your point." This statement seemed to mean that he was going to follow the rules at least for a while. "Okay, I obviously don't have anything I can offer, so what do you want me to do?"  
  
"Grovel at my feet," Haldir replied without a thought.  
  
"No!" Sauron said, seeming more surprised than angry at the suggestion. He appeared about to go on, but Haldir cut in.  
  
"I was just kidding! Calm down. Gosh, it's not like I was asking you to go in a boat or something, it was just one quick little bow."  
  
"Grovelling and bowing are completely different."  
  
"Are they now?"  
  
"Yes. Bowing is a respect thing. Grovelling is like worshipping somebody and degrading yourself at the same time."  
  
"And you would know because you've done a whole bunch of those things, right?"  
  
"The bowing maybe, but not the grovelling."  
  
"Okay, then what if I ask you to bow to me? Would that be better?"  
  
"No," he answered instantly.  
  
"Well, why not? You just got done telling me that you've bowed before, so I know you're capable of it."  
  
"Capable of doing it for somebody who's worth it."  
  
Elhith let out a laugh, but quickly stifled it when Haldir looked over at him. "That was cold."  
  
"Good, I haven't completely lost my touch then."  
  
"You're not helping your cause to get me out of this house tomorrow."  
  
Sauron seemed to just remember where the whole conversation had started from. "All right, well, try again. Try something that actually has a possibility of happening this time, will you?"  
  
"Fine, just give me a moment to think of something else."  
  
"Make it a quick moment, I'm still tired."  
  
Haldir frowned. "Fine, I'll come up with something in the morning. I'm never able to think of anything good when I'm being pressured into it."  
  
"Do you always feel like you're being pressured into something then?" Sauron asked as he began to slide into his former position.  
  
Haldir was about to snap back when Elhith intervened. "If you're up enough, you could sleep in a bed. You'd only have to stay awake long enough to make it upstairs."  
  
"All the way upstairs?" Sauron complained, but he pulled himself off the couch and made his way up to the second floor behind Elhith and Haldir.  
  
Once they got to the top, Elhith pointed the room out to Sauron which they had decided would be his while he was at his trial. He made his way in and tossed himself onto the bed, instantly closing his eyes.   
  
However Haldir was not quite done. He stepped to the door and leaned against it. "Why do you want to go out so badly, and why must it be tomorrow?"  
  
Sauron moaned and looked at him for a moment. "You're still here?"  
  
"Apparently. Now answer the question."  
  
"Tomorrow," he said shutting his eyes again.  
  
"No, now."  
  
"Does it really matter?"  
  
"Yes. Just tell me and then you can sleep."  
  
There was a brief silence, but it seemed to be a I-give-up silence rather than a I'm just-going-to-pretend-that-you're-not-there silence. "Fine, if you really want to know, I want to go and get some different clothes."  
  
Haldir smile, completely amused. "Did you suddenly get a sense for fashion or something like that?"  
  
"No," Sauron answered with a glare, "I just don't want to be going around in this." He gestured to his tunic, which was in pretty crummy shape, not to mention that it seemed to have adopted some nondescript color. And if something was nondescript, it was never a good thing. "Whatever shade this happens to be, it is not fitting of a dark lord-" Haldir was about to break in there, but Sauron seemed to understand that and so spoke over him. "-or a _once _dark lord, so I'm going to try and find something else. Preferably something dark, as I'm more accustomed to it."  
  
"I don't know why, but I have this odd feeling that you aren't going to find black here. It might have something to do with everybody wearing pastel colors, but I'm really going out on a limb there."  
  
Sauron rolled his eyes. "Did I say black? No. I don't care if it's black, I just want it to be dark, and I bet if I look enough I can find something dark. Okay? Enough talking! Now go and let me sleep, you annoying elf!" And with this he turned his back to Haldir as a signal of the end of the conversation.  
  
Haldir didn't press the subject, having gotten what he wanted out of it. For some reason he also felt a bit tired now, and as Elhith had gone to his room and there was no way that he was going to try and venture down on the first floor alone, he decided to go to bed too.  
  
  
Ahhh.... that took forever to set up. Blegh. But anywho, I hope you liked it, because it's what you're getting! Hahaha... yeah.


	17. Bowing is Degrading

Ah… now you should all be very happy people. We have a new computer that will hopefully allow me to upload my chapters all by myself without having to send them to GollumRox! Hopefully it turns up nice though… scary stuff. So you know, I did hope to have this up like Monday or something but GollumRox is busy… yeah. Obviously she didn't put it up. But now I am in charge and so chapters should hopefully now be a once a week thing! Yea! Do say thank you to her though because otherwise _none _of this would be up.   
  
Soo.. a lot of people reviewed! I feel so special.  
  
Kit Cloudkicker: Hold your horses. We'll have to see about Finrod. Gotta wait for what the inner muse says. And I say spiffy all the time because it is the only word that can capture the meaning of what I want. Cool is somewhat close but that word isn't as neato as spiffy. That's why I say it a lot. I'm sorry if it bothers you. It is weird having Sauron falling asleep though isn't it? Oh well, he gets over it, and without pills of anything!  
  
Carmen: Super, you actually read what it said at the start of the chapter so that you knew what minuvor was! Woot! Go you! And of course I found time to get it sent with the projects! I just stay up till three in the morning on Saturday! *twitch* I know it's hard to think that Sauron has eyelids, just try really hard, okay?   
  
Akai Kiniro: Faithful readers are the best! :)  
  
lirance: There are worse things to be obsessed with than !marks. I'm glad you love this, it makes it worth while to write that people like it!  
  
AAAclub: I don't think I can make Sauron a shopoholic. Like, seriously, I don't think I can do it. But you can make him get everything for you anyways if you want. And I have some plans for Sauron, just give it time. *wanders off and cackles evilly*  
  
Darth T-Rex: Well, personally, I think that from that shot of him when he's in Mt. Doom checking out his ring what he looks a bit pudgy. He does!! I can't help it, I laugh every time I see that. And then I want to know how the heck he can see ANYTHING when the eye holes on his helmet are like the size of a quarter. Derr, no wonder he got his hand hacked off... but maybe he doesn't really need to see because he's Sauron and he can just... see. Okay that was stupid. Hopefully this chapter contains a bit more intelligence than this reply!  
  
Elderberry: Don't worry about the reviews, it was a bit amusing actually. And you think he'd look smashing in some mint green perhaps? Or baby blue? I'm sure he'd just make quite the dish! *snort*  
  
Black Thunder: Yes, I'm moving up in the world! Go me! :)  
  
Ruler-of-Da-World: Yeah, Haldir isn't sure of the house yet. He just needs time. And don't talk about the hair yet! Wait like... um... I dunno how many chapters because I haven't written it yet but something with the hair is coming. Yes. Heheee... ah yes. And wouldn't you know, but I kinda thought it was you. Just by the way you talked. Freakay. I really am sorry that it took so long for this chapter and when I kept getting your reviews it made me feel bad… but here it is finally! I looked at your bio too... cause I stalk people. Just kidding, I don't. But I was bored so I was looking at everybody's bio and you quoted the laugh! Spiffy! And you can be the ruler of the world, so long as you recognize that I am the ruler of the universe. :-D  
  
Pherhyandoiel: I think that I would very likely scar myself if I tried to write Sauron having a fashion show. ... *suddenly remember the TTT spoof that was taped with GollumRox and Captain Tisher and recalls the song that she had to sing as Sauron for a karaoke thing at the end, causing a very uncomfortable twitch* Okay, well, my brain is pretty much scarred up anyways, so what little more can hurt!! I bet GollumRox would like it if Gollum did a fashion show. Bleh.. oh well.   
  
XNemesis: Wow, British humor and I'm not even British! Goo meeee... it's probably because for like three years I just watched Monty Python every Friday evening. Must have rubbed off a little bit. Yeah, maybe Sauron did have to grovel on second thought. But he was good before and then became bad so maybe he didn't have to grovel because he had to be bribed in and groveling wouldn't really be a bribe unless you have issues. Procrastination... a double edged sword. Hate those things  
  
Mystic Catface: Oooo, they have plenty to do even with the punishment over with. MUAHAHAHA!!!!! Hehehe... that's fun. Sometimes I wish I had a quick tongue... but I don't. I think of a good remark like five hours after the fact.  
  
Ashley: Well thank you very much! You must not have minded that it said Fanor instead of Feanor in the first two chapters or whatever. That really vexed me... stupid little funny e. Anyways, I do know what you mean, but it normally has to be really bad for me to notice! I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you for recommending it to your friend, whoever that is!  
  
Spoofmaster: Yeah, it is messed up. Blegh. Oh well, you'll survive. And I know how you feel with the names, I did that too. I had to look back in the little family tree things all the time the first time I read it. SPIFFY!! Glad you likey the chapter.  
  
Twisted Mary Sue: So there is a good annoying then? That's good! And Haldir doesn't really insult many people, just Sauron. But Sauron insults everybody. And such is their world. Sounds like fun doesn't it?  
  
Weeell, here it is! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry again for keeping you waiting!  
  
  
  
The room went from being pitch black to flooded with light in seconds. Haldir groaned and snaked down farther into the blankets on his bed, pulling them over his head to block out the light. However this was not very successful as they were yanked out of his hands not long after.  
  
"What gives?" he complained as he squinted his eyes open. They had felt much better shut.  
  
"Now now, haven't you ever heard of the early bird getting the worm?" was the reply from the one distinguishable shadow in the room.  
  
"I've heard of it, but you are not a bird and you aren't looking for worms, so that was a stupid thing to say." He reached down to try and recover the blankets, but his hands just met empty air.  
  
"I have this wonderful theory that if you don't have your blankets that you will get up because the room is too bright. It's seems to be working from all the signs."  
  
"The light isn't keeping me up, you are. I thought that you were supposed to be tired anyways," Haldir said.  
  
"I was. And so I slept. Remarkable thing, that. Who would have thought that sleeping could make it so that you wouldn't be sleepy anymore!"  
  
"They said it'd take a while though. I feel cheated."  
  
"It might have taken a while, but I just sucked away all of your energy and am using it for myself."  
  
Haldir opened his eyes a bit wider, propping himself up with his elbows. He didn't really like the thought of that. It was a bit creepy... okay, it was a lot creepy.  
  
Sauron shook his head. "I'm kidding. I figured that if they told you that I was going to be tired, that they would have told you why. Apparently not though..."  
  
With a sigh of relief, Haldir leaned back. "No, they told me."  
  
"So you know, and yet you weren't able to figure out that I didn't mean it? Honestly, if I am only as powerful as you and you can't go around taking people's energy or whatever, how do you think I would?" he asked. By the way he said it, he was nowhere near happy at the thought that he was on the same level as Haldir.  
  
"I just woke up, you can't expect me to think everything in an instant." He reached out again to try and get his covers, but his hand was slapped away.  
  
"None of that. You have to get up."  
  
"I don't have to do anything. Now give me back my covers. I don't need you fouling them up when they are clean," he said as he sat up and blindly tried to snatch them out of Sauron's hands. He still wasn't quite used to the light, especially the amount that was coming into the room. Of course he would have picked the room that faced east.  
  
"Why does this seem like another conversation we've had before? Odd," Sauron said, a false look of thoughtfulness on his face. Haldir tried to use this moment to regain his sheets, but Sauron pulled them away again. "You remember that I took a bit of a swim yesterday, right?"  
  
Haldir considered that for a moment, and was a bit interested in that what fear Sauron might have had from the event had already been dispersed. That was really quick. No wonder he was such a slow learner. "Yes I recall that very clearly, but now you probably have salt all over you since you fell in the sea. I hear that it does horrors to your hair. And it makes you itchy."  
  
"Well as you've so kindly pointed out on multiple occasions, my hair was not in lovely condition to begin with, and I don't feel itchy either. A bit of salt isn't bothering me, so it shouldn't be bothering you either."  
  
"I still don't want it on my sheets!" He reached out quickly and wrenched the covers out of Sauron's hands, instantly pulling them around himself.  
  
"You are not much of a morning person, are you?"  
  
"No, I'm just a don't-open-the-curtains-and-steal-my-sheets-when-I'm-trying-to-sleep person. It's not really the most pleasant way to wake up."  
  
"You have to get up sometime. I was just helping speed up the process a bit."  
  
"Just because I'm awake doesn't mean that I'm going to go right away. Or at all," he added as an after thought.  
  
"I want to get out there before the crowds. Crowds, ugh," he ended, a look of distaste painted across his face.  
  
"You are not much of a people person, are you?" Haldir replied recalling what Sauron had said along the same lines a few moments before.   
  
"Not really. Now can we just go and get this over with? I don't want to go out, but I kind of need to."  
  
Haldir rubbed his eyes to clear them a bit more. "Oh, you don't need to go and get new clothes, I mean, that is a lovely non-color on you I must say."  
  
Sauron frowned. "I don't have time for this. I've already been up for a couple hours waiting on you, and I'm not going to wait much longer."  
  
"Patience is a virtue. One that you should figure out quickly."  
  
"How about I try to figure it out after we come back, hm?"  
  
Haldir ran his hands through his hair, trying to put it back in its place after having slept on it. "Fine," he said with a sigh.  
  
Obviously quite pleased with this, Sauron helped him up (a bit more of a novel thing than Haldir had time to comprehend) and ushered him down the stairs, still half asleep, into a room that appeared to be something of a kitchen. When they got there, Elhith was sitting at a table already having something to eat.  
  
"So you're finally up? Sleep well? I'd think so, you were out long enough. Looks like you slept in your clothes too," Elhith said as a way of greetings.   
  
Haldir looked down at his crinkled tunic and shrugged. "I guess I was a bit more tired than I thought. At least it isn't too bad."  
  
"Yes, heaven forbid that you have to go in public with clothes that are less than perfectly flat," Sauron remarked.  
  
Not even taking the time to frown at Sauron's statement, Haldir continued to speak to Elhith. "And how was your night?"  
  
"Just peachy."  
  
Sauron tapped his foot at this considerably brief exchange, and Haldir finally gave up and sent him a slight look. "What did I say about patience?"  
  
"That's it's a virtue, blah blah," he said, waving his hand to dismiss the statement. "Get on with it. Once you've had something to eat, we're going to go."  
  
"Have you already eaten then?" Haldir asked as he sat across from Elhith.  
  
"No."  
  
"When do you plan to then? I highly doubt that you would want to be the one holding up the party."  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
"You haven't had anything to eat since we got out of Mandos and you aren't hungry?"  
  
"I had that tonic or whatever of Elhith's on the boat."  
  
"That was a liquid, stupid." He looked over the food that was on the table quickly and decided on some bread.  
  
"My, my, my, we're a bit cranky today, aren't we?" Sauron answered unfazed.  
  
"I tend to be so when I don't get to sleep as long as I feel I need to. Now, you should have something to eat," he said, changing the subject.  
  
"I told you, I'm not hungry. At least, I don't think I am."  
  
Haldir set his food down and looked up at Sauron, finding the thought of him being unable to figure out if he was hungry or not just a bit on the childish side. "How can you not know if you're hungry?"  
  
Sauron shrugged. "You forget that I haven't needed to eat in a long time. I don't really remember what it was like to be hungry."  
  
"You have a terrible memory don't you?"  
  
"Hey, I've been around long before you, and long before this world was even here. I have a lot that I have to remember. I can't keep everything in mind, and so I forget some of the trivial stuff like that."  
  
"Then just eat something to be on the safe side. Besides, it'll keep you quiet."  
  
"Grump," Sauron muttered as he came to the table and slowly took some bread himself.  
  
"Now what I want to know is how you plan on paying as you have no money."  
  
Elhith swallowed quickly at this, and Haldir turned to him. "Don't worry about that," he began. "You have an allowance here that you can use to get what you need. By the size of it, it seems that it will be replenished every month or so. It's over there on the counter."  
  
"Are you coming along?" Haldir asked him when he got up.  
  
"No, there are a couple of other things that I need to see to. I'll be back this evening however."  
  
Haldir nodded, and Elhith left the room, a quiet peace falling over it that was obviously quickly shattered.  
  
"Are you about done?" Sauron asked.  
  
"I won't ever get done if you insist on interrupting me all the time."  
  
This seemed to be a reasonable excuse and Sauron was silent until he finished. However, it was the instant that he was done when Sauron got up. "Elhith said there was the money on the counter, right? I wasn't really listening," he asked as he went to get it.  
  
"That's a terrible flaw. If you don't listen you won't learn anything."  
  
"I pick up on it if it's important."  
  
"And having the money to get what you want isn't important?"  
  
"Nah, you were listening to Elhith so I didn't really need to."  
  
"That's what he said. I guess we'll just have to figure it out on our own. It can't be too bad though, it isn't like people will be underhanded or anything."  
  
"Hmph, how do you know? They'll probably try to cheat us out of the money."  
  
Haldir shook his head. "No, the only person that would possible try and cheat in this would probably be you." Sauron actually smirked a bit at that, but did not say anything. "I've never had anybody swindle me among my own kind. I know it will be hard for you to grasp the concept that people are not always out to better you and can actually be friendly and want to help, but at least try to understand it."  
  
"Whatever you say, you who is so wise in the ways of the world."  
  
Deciding not to answer that, Haldir looked at the money and tried to figure out how much to take, because it wouldn't do to bring along all that they would get that whole month and end up losing it. He picked out a couple different pieces and put them in a pouch that was in the box, and then turned to Sauron who was amusing himself by messing with the remaining coins. "Are you done with that or is it just too entertaining?"  
  
Sauron looked up at him and blinked.   
  
"Well?"  
  
"I'm ready. Let's go."  
  
He began to make his way to the door, but Haldir stopped him. "Not so fast. I still want to get something out of this."  
  
Sauron almost succeeded in covering the cringe that was momentarily on his face. "Oh, yes, I'd forgotten."  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure you forgot. Anyways, I thought about it a bit in the few seconds of quiet I got this morning."  
  
"And you figured something out? Good for you."  
  
"Yes. You have to bow to me."  
  
There was that look of surprise again, but this time it mixed with annoyance. "I already told you that I won't bow to you."  
  
"Then I'm not going out."  
  
"Come on, that is totally ridiculous. Why would you want me to do that anyways?"  
  
"Because I know how much it will irk you," Haldir said smiling.  
  
Sauron scowled. "Listen here, I am capable of doing something a little more worth while than just bowing. You realize that don't you?"  
  
"Yes, I know, but I still want the bow."  
  
"Well you're not going to get it!"  
  
"Then you're not going out."  
  
Sauron made a sound of frustration that only made Haldir laugh. "You must have a bit more of a passion for appearance than you've led onto if it's so important to you that you are still trying to bargain on it."  
  
Although he looked about ready to reply to that, Sauron held his tongue for a moment. "So there isn't any other way that you're going to go except if I bow to you."  
  
Haldir nodded slowly. "Yeah. Pretty much."  
  
"Okay, fine," he said finally, looking slightly ruffled and a whole lot irritated.  
  
First he took a few steps back, and sank down to one knee, crossing his right hand over his chest. Then with overly dramatic flourish, Sauron bent his head down and swept his left arm back, paused for a moment, and then lifted his head back up. "Was that a good enough bow for you, Lord Haldir?" he asked, quite heavy on the sarcasm.  
  
"Yes, that was very nice. You must have had a lot of practice."  
  
"Hush up," Sauron replied grouchily.  
  
"Well, now that that is taken care of, let's get this over with."  
  
Sauron got up, straightening his tunic out. "You do know that I only did that because of the circumstance and so you shouldn't get any ideas."  
  
Haldir continued to make his way to the door but smiled. "Yes, yes, I know. Now come on, I thought you said you wanted to get out before the crowds."  
  
  
  
Hahaha, now you have to wait even more for shopping stuff. Although that isn't that bad, is it? I mean, Sauron had to _bow _in this chapter. Dun dun dun. Anywho, so that was the chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! And the chapters keep getting longer and longer. The next one is like nine pages. Fun.


	18. Trouble with Names

Yess… I love being able to update myself. Makes life so much easier for everybody involved. Well this chapter is huge. It said ten pages. Wow, isn't that lovely. Hopefully you think so.

Spiffy reviewers. Woops, I said that word again. I was going to try and stop. *shrugs*

AAAClub: Look at this update! So prompt, yes? Well, it is Spring Break for me, so hopefully I'll get a couple chapters written and at least one more posted this week. I'm glad you are enjoying this! 

Mystic Catface: Yes, mornings are tedious evil things. Ugh. I seriously am going to egg the district office building. I know where it is too. MUAHAHAHAHA!!! *flames leap up in the backround and ominous music plays* So yeah… comebacks are good. Unless used against you.

Pherhyandoiel: Somebody got into my not-so-secret secret stash of Red Fusion. I was so sad. Soooo sad. But I'll live. 

Mirari1: Heck yeah, Haldir's gonna need help. I doubt that anybody could get through all that crap without having a bit scrambled in their brain. Oh well. I hope you continue to enjoy my humble work now that you have found it! And I'm going to be looking for yours to be updated!

Ruler-of-Da-World: Yes, give the hair time. Waaah. Don't ask about that, I just thought it seemed right. I think that when Haldir was little he would have been one of those kids that would go and sneak stuff that they weren't supposed to. I bet he would. He has a naughty side somewhere in there. WOOT! I rule the universe! Well… not yet, thus the 'f' in Frotu. Bloo, sadness. But yeah… what's soylent green? Eh? 

XNemesis: Monty Python rocks. I love the show especially. Mr. Gumby rules. Not many people know about him though, which makes me sad. Oh well. And yeah, it was degrading, thus the title of the chapter. *wink*

BlackThunder44: Ah, Sauron will live I'm sure. 

Carmen: Yes, it is Spring Break. Nothing passes by your attention does it? Hehehe… yeah. Um, seriously, just get over the eyelid thing. Honestly. :-D

Twisted Mary Sue: *frowns* What did I do? WHAT DID I DO!! I'm sorry that I'm torturing you. Maybe if you tell me how I'll be able to fix it. Unless it is the thing about the posting chapters cause it takes time to type them up you know. But please tell me what I did. You can e-mail me about it if you want. 

Yeah, that's it. Except for when you get to the names, there is a bit of an explaination at the end. That will make sense when you've read the chapter. So for now, read! 

The streets were still filled with the shadows of early morning when they got out, the air not yet completely warmed by the sun. Haldir took a deep breath, enjoying the crispness in the air, but was cut off halfway through by Sauron coughing. "We've been gone a total of three seconds and you're already having problems?" Haldir asked, not really expecting an answer. "I wonder what this forebodes for the rest of the morning..."

"Well excuse me," Sauron said when he got a grip on his coughs. "It isn't like I want to be hacking my guts out."

"Thank you for that lovely mental image," Haldir said as he began to walk down the silent alley towards the street.

"You're welcome. Anyways, I can't help it. This whole place reeks."

"Oh yes, the flowers are just horribly putrid." 

"It's not the flowers, it's _you_, you and all your people."

"Pardon?" Haldir asked, although not taking the time to be offended. He was starting to get used to only hearing foul things from Sauron and having to prevent his pride, which naturally got inflamed easily, from jumping up at ever single comment. It was much too tiring.

"You elves, you just have this..." He waved a hand around a little as though to aid the thinking process and hopefully stir up the right word.

"Aura?" Haldir supplied.

"That's the word! Aura, yes. You have this aura and it doesn't sit well with me. Like last night when I was sleeping and Elhith got too close, it set me off. It was like being smacked across the face. And this whole place in just disgustingly full of it."

"You handled it pretty well on the boat."

"I was just sick with other things... I didn't have time to be sick this way."

"Well get over it. You're little more than an elf yourself now, so you're probably contributing to it."

"Oh, that's an ugly thought," Sauron said, looking completely repulsed. "I don't think I am. Do you know how annoying it would be if you were like allergic to yourself?"

"Okay, stop."

"What? I'm just thinking. Is that a bad thing to you or something? I mean, I know that you don't have much going on in there, but to deprive others of the opportunity, that's just so un-elflike."

"No, thinking is not bad, if you're actually doing something constructive and not just muttering off your train of thought to the world."

"It's a habit which grows on you when there isn't anybody around who you can talk to..."

"So you talk to yourself?"

There was a short pause. "Yes. But it's not like it's a bad thing, I mean, it's just thinking aloud... and directing it back to yourself."

"Whatever you say Sauron."

There was some more silence, but this too was of course doomed to be cut short. "I need a new name."

"Now?"

"If you don't think that anybody will ask it all day, then no. But I have this feeling that it might be asked and so it would be better if I had one to answer with since I can't use my 'true identity' as it's been called."

"Just stick with Rondae."

"No!" Sauron answered, looking disgusted just from the implication. "That's a horrible name. I still don't even know how you came up with that."

"It was just a random thing."

"Sure. I bet you were just waiting for the chance to say it and hopefully doom me to be known by that name for who knows how long."

"For one, I have no idea why you dislike that name so much. Two, sticking you with a name that I thought you would purposely dislike was the farthest thing from my mind. If you want to know, I just took another name and switched it around a bit."

  
"That's stupid."

"Well it was better than you came up with, wasn't it?"

"So what name did you switch it around from?" Sauron asked, choosing not to answer Haldir's question.

"Daeron."

A distant look came into Sauron's face then, as though he was looking way back in his thoughts for something. "That name sounds familiar... but I can't think of why..."

"He was a minstrel, he made music for Luthien."

Sauron tripped, over what Haldir had no idea, and just about fell flat on his face. That was like the second time in a course of twenty-four hours, or three if the falling off the boat thing wanted to be counted along with tripping. Didn't really matter though. Regaining his balance, he stood stone still in the street, which Haldir did not realize for a moment and caused him to have to back track a bit. 

The look on Sauron's face was even more distant now, and it was very unsettling. Haldir wanted to poke him or something to snap him out of it, but that was not a solution which he felt like actually carrying out.

However he didn't need to do anything, because Sauron spoke then, his voice quiet, but dark. Those factors together made it decidedly creepy. "So, you gave me a name after somebody who played for..." he said, his voice trailing off.

Haldir was just able to screw up himself to talk by reminding himself, quite a few times, that Sauron was little more than he now. "Yes... I looked at the stars, and I thought of the Quest for the Silmaril and the Lay of Leithian, all that stuff, and then I thought of Luthien, and Daeron and changed the syllables in his name. I told you it was very random."

Apparently something broke then, and Sauron pushed him against a wall and pinned him there, his eyes absolutely flaming, which was quite the snap from that listless appearance he'd had a few seconds earlier. He had been mad before, and apparently he was mad again, and that 'he's no more than you' phrase got repeated in Haldir's head so quickly in the next few moments that the words all ran together. "Random you say," Sauron yelled in a whisper. He jabbed Haldir's chest with his finger. "Of all the random things how could you pick that? You speak of the Lay, and yet you must have forgotten about half of it if you would pick a name from it and even _think_ to give it to me!" he said, poking Haldir quite hard to emphasis some of the words.

"Hey, can you knock that off?" He pushed Sauron's finger away and rubbed his chest. "I couldn't forget it when I only knew half of it, or less. Less more likely. Just a couple scattered fragments. Not that it is really important," he said quickly, not wanting to ramble on too much. "But why is it so odd that I would take a name from it when there is almost nobody who has not heard of it. It's pretty common."

"You must have led a secluded life."

  
"In fact, I did..."

At this moment somebody turned around a corner and spotted them, his expression instantly turning to one of curiosity and suspicion. Sauron looked over his shoulder at them and probably glared, Haldir couldn't tell for sure, but the reaction for whatever he did was the person hurrying their steps down the road. Haldir waved weakly at them as they passed, trying to smile and failing miserably.

Sauron turned his attention back to Haldir after a moment. "So you did not know that _I_ am in that Lay, did you then?" he asked heatedly.

Haldir frowned. "You're in it?"

Sauron sighed angrily and rolled his eyes, which seemed to release a little of his anger, but not enough. "Yes I'm in it you dim, base creature."

  
"Oh that's a little harsh, don't you think? I didn't know you're in it. What do you do? I mean, I can guess that you do something terrible and evil and not nice at all, but that could cover a wide spectrum, so could you narrow it down a bit?"

  
"No! I will not!" He backed up and began going down the road again. "I can't believe that I'm even talking about this in the first place!" 

At this point, Haldir was deciding that Sauron was a bit bipolar. Only, instead of going from being really happy to really sad he went from being reasonably well-behaved to biting-off-your-head mad. Freaky though it was, Haldir figured that he'd rather have him be that way and swing around a bit over him just being down into the raging area all the time. Although, it would be even better if he'd just stay up on the indifferent side, but he knew that was hoping way too much.

Haldir followed after him, shaking his thoughts from his head. "Come on, what happened? Why was it so bad that I picked Daeron? Did he do something to you?"

"No, but he loved _her_, didn't he?"

"Um... yes, I believe so. Is that the bad part then? That he loved Luthien?"

"Yes and no, it has more to do with you calling me something that is from the name of somebody who loved her."

"Oh, so you hated her? Well, you hate just about everybody, don't you, so that doesn't seem so odd. So did you hate her especially then?"

"Yes," he answered coldly.

"Why?" Haldir asked as he caught up, his fear dissolving quickly.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Sauron snapped.

"Come on, I won't be able to learn what things not to talk about and bring up if you don't tell me."

"Okay, well here then: Don't talk about Luthien in front of me!"

"What about from behind then?"

Sauron whispered something under his breath that Haldir could not catch and did not figure he needed to hear anyways. "Leave it be, Haldir."

"I won't be able to now. I want to know. The sooner you tell me, the sooner you'll have peace."

"Ask Elhith. He'd probably know."

"I'd have to wait until the end of the day to do that. Why won't you just tell me?"

"Because it's worse than the Numenor thing. And I don't like talking about it."

"Have you ever talked about it?"

"No," he replied as though that answer should have been obvious.

"Then how do you know that you won't like to talk about it?"

"Because I think I've figured out what I like and don't like by now and that sense leads me to believe that I won't like to talk about it. So just stop!"

"You know I won't. Especially now that it seems to be so important to you. Now I have to know for sure."

Sauron finally stopped now, and turned to him. "Fine, you really want to know?" he demanded.

"Um, yes, that's kind of what I've been going at for the last couple minutes," Haldir answered, nodding.

Still seeming a bit peeved, Sauron grabbed the fabric of the shirt under his tunic which happened to be loosely wrapped around his neck. He pulled it down, revealing many series of thick scars all along his throat. "There, that's why."

Haldir cringed and touched his own neck as Sauron pulled the fabric back up. "Oww… that looks like it hurt."

Sauron shook his head. "No, do you think?"

"How the heck did it happen?"

"I never said I'd explain it."

Haldir blinked a few times as he tried to put the pieces together, which was hard because it seemed that a couple were missing. "But she didn't do that obviously..."

"No, but she was commanding the one who did."

  
"Which would be...?"

"Huan, the dog, okay? Enough now, I'm done. That's it. Story time is over."

"I didn't think she commanded him. Are you sure?"

  
"Haldir, I was there you idiot! He only released me at her word."

"So shouldn't you hate Huan then if he's the one who actually did the stuff?"

"I said I wasn't talking more."

"Come on, just a few questions."

"Then will you shut up about it?"

  
"Upon my honor."

"Oh, joy, I'm sure that's a great thing to swear by..." Sauron said to himself.

"I won't talk about it anymore, promise. So shouldn't you hate him too?"

"Yes, and anticipating that your next question would be if I do, yes, I do hate him. Just like as you pointed out I hate everybody. But myself of course."

"So then, why was it so bad for me to call you Rondae again?"

"Because you thought of it from the name of somebody who loved Luthien. And I hate her and so having that name was not good. Make sense?"

"Yes, I suppose so. I mean, at least in the context of your twisted mind it makes sense."

Sauron did not reply to this, and they continued down the silent road for a little bit. However, remarkably, Haldir found that he needed to speak. Which was quite the pity, as he was the one vying for silence all the time. 

"So, um... we never really finished the conversation."

"Really? I thought that the long silence and the promise I got from you to be quiet would count as the end of the conversation."

"I promised not to bring that whole thing up anymore, I didn't promise not to talk. And although normally the pause and all that would be a sign of the end of the conversation, we never figured out what your name was going to be. Which was the point of the whole thing to begin with."

For a moment Sauron seemed to consider whether this was a worthy enough reason to have to talk again, but it was not too long. At least, it wasn't long enough that Haldir became impatient about it. "All right. So what do you propose?"

"Nothing. What do you want to be called?"

"I don't know. I haven't really had to think of a new name for a long time. Besides, most the time people end up giving them to me rather than me giving them to myself."

"You still have more experience at it than I do."

"Well you're the elf. What could I use? It would probably be better if you suggested things than having me just pick one out, because I doubt that you would allow any of the names I could come up with. In which case I would get frustrated and angry and I'm sure you don't enjoy it when I'm like that."

Haldir unconsciously nodded, trying to think of a fitting name. Obviously he couldn't go off in his normal thought patterns as it was more than likely that whatever he would come up with from such a logical proceeding would end up being something that Sauron had a bitter memory about. So much for getting out the easy way.

He turned a couple ideas over in his head, always deciding that they wouldn't work. Well, to be more exact they might work but he doubted that Sauron would allow them to. So it came to pass that after a few minutes he began to get a little irritated with his inability to come up with anything. "How about you just go by Fastagos and we'll call it good?"

Sauron looked over at Haldir for a minute, and then shook his head. "Haha. That was really funny. You're so clever."

"Isn't like it wouldn't fit."

  
"I think we both know that I'm not going to use that, so just come up with something else."

"I can't. Think of your own name."

"We already went over this. You probably would not like the names I would come up with."

"And you probably will not like the names I come with. So as I see it we are in the same boat."

"Well then just say whatever you think of."

"I already said what I thought."

"Think something else then."

"I can't think of something else! I haven't really thought of anything to begin with! If this keeps up, I won't ever get anything."

"That is not a very positive attitude," Sauron remarked.

Haldir threw his hands up in the air. "You of all people talking about being positive! What next?"

"Let's start with you figuring out a name sometime this age."

"You always must have something to quip back just for the sake of having something to quip back, don't you? You just enjoy irritating everybody."

"Ah, wrapping up the essence of my purpose for being in a couple of words."

It was that which gave Haldir his idea. Now that it occurred to him it seemed a bit obvious, like the idea must have been smacking him in the face for the past few minutes trying to reach his brain. "Iaewur."

"What's that?" Sauron asked, apparently having tuned out, assuming that Haldir would rant off on him more and that he therefore did not need to listen.

"Iaewur should be your name."

Although he opened his mouth the moment that Haldir had finished as though to instantly smash down this new idea, Sauron processed the name a bit and then closed his mouth. He turned his head slightly to the side as he considered it and then nodded to himself. "All right, I could probably live with that. Could be better but it could be worse too. I don't suppose you meant it in any sort of positive light, hm?"

"I didn't intend it to have any light, although the fact that it's not really the most flattering thing didn't bother me at all."

"None of the names that people have given me had lovely connotations. However, I seem to earn them from the work I've done, so I try to take them as compliments."

"You're messed up."

"Not any more than you. And speaking of things that are messed up, one of your braids is partly coming out," he said, smiling fakely.

Of course he had known what would bug Haldir, and so Haldir was quiet now as he searched for the braid he had to fix.

Sauron watched him as he pulled the braids in front of his face and crossed his eyes in an effort to see what they looked like. "Now if that's not pathetic, I don't know what is. Just leave it alone."

"No, I have to fix it now that you've told me that it is there."

"Let it go, you're stuck with me and my hair so having yours perfect isn't going to get you a better reputation or anything."

Haldir shook his head. "I have to fix it because otherwise it will bug me knowing that it's messed up."

He continued on for a bit more, finally finding it. However as soon as he had it and was starting his attempt at unbraiding it so that he could make it right, Sauron stopped him. 

"Stop, you're embarrassing."

"No."

"How about if you leave your hair alone for now, I'll let you fix my hair later?" He twitched a little when he said it, but he seemed to actually mean the bargain.

"Why?"  


"Because then you won't be embarrassing at the moment, and then I won't be embarrassing to you in the future."

Haldir didn't really need to be convinced on that one. "All right, it's a deal." He dropped his braid and tried to forget that it was there. Although he had figured that this would be a little difficult, it ended up not being as they had just reached the large lanes of what must have been the market.

*Fastagos: Frotu's lame attempt at using the word roots for something about tangled locks of hair and dread in a name. 

*Iaewur: Slaughtering elvish again… to the effect of 'fiery mock.' Yes I know it is lame so shut up!!

Okay, that's it. Hope that it wasn't too long or boring or anything! :-D


	19. Shopping!

I feel so special. This is like the third chapter this week isn't it? Heh… yeah, well, don't be expecting this to happen again for the rest of my school year, which lasts until like the start of June. Only… I guess I do have finals week and those are all really short days, and I never study anyways… but we'll just have to see what happens when we get there. Still far off *sigh*

Wow, people are right on top of the reviewing. That's awesome. Very nice.

Elderberry: Wow, we're in the same boat! I have no idea how to say it either. I guess that's why it's good that it is written then! And who knows what Sauron thinks. He's a twisted fellow.

Pherhyandoiel: I don't know how Sauron would react to caffeine. It might be kinda scary, don't you think? Too much sugar and stuff isn't good for anybody… although that really doesn't make anybody stop.

GollumRox: You know what was weird? That day I had been talking to my mom about how you always asked me if I had seen A Clockwork Orange whenever I glare at you. You know my mom saw that. I think that is creepy.

Mystic Catface: No she wasn't the one that threw herself off a cliff. That was Nienor… yeah. And when you say action, what do you mean? 

Ruler-of-Da-World: My fanfic has fan art! YOU DREW A PICTURE! *runs around flailing arms* COOOOL!!! I feel super spiffy. That's neato neato! You have to scan it and send it to me so I can see. Please. You should see some of my math homework sometimes, I doodle all over it trying to figure out how to draw them. I think I have Haldir pretty set by now, but I just can never get Sauron's hair to look quite dead animalish enough. And he always looks hacked off in my pictures anyways, so that's probably good. I love your reviews, they ramble, but it's fun! Woo! And I looked at your bio again, trying to find that one fic (which I did read) and you quoted me _again_! Yea! Special. 

AAAClub: Yes I have Spring Break for I am in the U.S. in Idaho to be more exact. Yup. And if I'm lucky now, I will think that you are lucky later! I'm sure. It all evens out. Well… actually maybe it doesn't since your school year could be way different than mine. Rambling! Sorry. And don't complain too much: I have to do a Julius Caesar rap in my English class when I go back to school next week, and in my group I'm Caesar. It's creepy and degrading and makes me very sad. 

XNemesis: I know about computers being stupid. This new one is much nicer. Only it already hates me because it booted me off of word yesterday and deleted a whole page of what I wrote. And you know, sometimes you just can't word things the same a second time. So I was miffed with it. Yeah, Sauron is going to have to meet a lot of people. It'll be fun. And what is with people losing appendages? Sauron and Frodo with their fingers, Morgoth with his foot, Beren and Maedhros with their hands. I'm probably missing somebody too… oh well. 

Kit Cloudkicker: Whoa… names. Did you just know those off the top of your head and then research them a bit more or what? When I made up the names, I looked through like the whole etymologies to find words that were possible. Then I tried putting them together in lots of different ways with different spellings, and Iaewur looked the best. Not that you can actually say it, but it was the best looking one. 

packers fan#4: Thanks for sharing that. 

Spoofmaster: Yeah, it is really pathetic that he got whooped by a dog, even if it was a special dog. Hehehe… it makes me laugh. Especially when I'm sitting reading the book at 2 in the morning, then it makes me laugh a lot! There are a ton of vowels, aren't there? The two parts are 'iae' and 'wur' so maybe breaking it up helps? Or maybe not? And I get a commercial!! Oooo, coooool! What's your new parody? I think GollumRox said something about you making a LOTR one, but you must not have posted it yet. I'll look for it when you do.

Yeah, that's it. This chapter is shorter just to warn you upfront, and the one after this is REALLY short, but hey, you better not complain. It would have been four chapters this week at least. 

Even though it was still early morning, there was a fair amount of people making their way around the market. Although it was obvious that this number was nothing compared to what it would be like later in the day, there was enough that Sauron groaned. "Sheesh, I never can just have it simple, can I?"

Haldir didn't reply to him and began to walk into the lane. His nose was instantly bombarded with hundreds of different smells that he found quite pleasant and so figured that Sauron would dislike. So long as he didn't start up on another coughing fit, Haldir could care less. 

Looking around at everything, he decided that it would be better to try and get right to the point. Just by seeing everything around him he knew that if he were to just browse around a bit while Sauron was looking for his stuff that there would be a good chance that he'd be wandering about all day. There were so many things that were strange to him that he wanted to look at closer, but he restrained himself.

He stopped for a moment for Sauron to catch up, who was taking longer in his attempt to make sure he did not brush up against anybody at all. "Try to make this quick, or else I'll get sucked in and you'll have no hope of getting me out until the evening, okay?"

"Won't need to warn me twice," Sauron replied frowning slightly as he looked around. "I can't believe that you could stay here long."

"Well I would, whether you believe it or not, so hurry it up!"

"Fine, just help me find the ruddy places and I'll get about this business."

"I doubt that I can help you much. You're tall enough to look over everybody, whereas I am definitely not," Haldir said, just a bit bitter. He hated admitting his relative shortness.

"True, but you know more about how these things would be set up than I do."

Haldir snorted. "At my home yes, but this is different. I guess we'll both just have to look. Two eyes are better than one after all."

Sauron just looked at him funny, and Haldir took a moment to figure out why. He then cleared his throat in an attempt to keep from being unable to control the laughter that had welled up. "Or, um, four eyes are better than two. Or two pairs are better than one-"

"Shut up," Sauron groused.

"Will do," Haldir replied.

They made their way through the lane, scanning the sides for any sign of the elusive shop which would have some clothes. At first it seemed that this might take more time than had been assumed, but then Haldir spotted a shop. 

After going against the flow of the crowd for a moment, they came to the other side of the lane and the shop. "After you," Haldir said with a smile, waving forward.

Sauron just shook his head and entered.

It was not very large, and what room it did have was absolutely packed with clothes. There was a woman sitting in the back of the room reading who momentarily looked up and smiled at them before returning to her book.

As Haldir had earlier surmised, pretty much all of the clothes were very light in color. He heard Sauron sigh in such a way as to suggest that he was not very surprised either.

Halfheartedly they looked through what was there, and when it was official that there was nothing there that was dark enough for Sauron's taste, they left. It was the beginning of what turned out to be a long search.

They didn't really talk much, which suited both fine, as they made their way up the lane to the end of the market and began to make their way back down the other side in the next few hours. It had all been pretty fruitless thus far and both were getting a little irritated with it. Even Haldir, who was still interested in all of the strange new things that were present, began to want to get done.

A little before noon Haldir called for a break as his stomach was starting to complain. He got some food from one of the stands and proceeded to eat it all by himself since Sauron had once again insisted that he was not hungry. "You know, I'm sure that you're going to get hungry sometime in the near future. You might as well have something."

"I wouldn't let myself starve. If I'm hungry I'll eat."

Haldir considered him over the top of his food. By now he was seriously beginning to think that Sauron was not capable of figuring out if he was hungry or not. It would explain why he was so freakishly thin.

Once he was done they started off again, going to another shop which was not far from where they had stopped. When again there was nothing, Haldir finally thought that it was time to say something.

"You know," he began while scanning for anymore shops, "you might not find anything that is what you're looking for."

Sauron did not reply right away. "I know."

"So you might have to settle for something that isn't dark."

There was an even longer pause. "I know."

"Well then, that's good. I'm starting to get annoyed with this anyways, so how about we give it three more shops and if you don't find anything in those, in the last one we'll just pick something up?"

"Fine," Sauron said morosely, which made Haldir smirk a little. All that over clothes, good heavens.

Again there was nothing in the next one, although it had been a bit better than some. And then they came to the second to last one.

They went in and split up like they had for the last few hours. It made it go by quicker. By this time, Haldir had gotten a system to how he looked, and by doing this he found nothing. He had gotten to the last shelf when he heard something that made him pause.

It sounded like a _squeal_.

He set down the pile of clothes that he had been leafing through and stood up straight, blinking a little bit. When he looked around the store, the only other person he saw was Sauron.

This required a few more blinks. "Was that you?" he asked.

Sauron did not answer. Instead he held something up. "I win!" he exclaimed happily.

Haldir looked at what he was holding and grinned. Lo and behold, it was the previously unseen darkly dyed tunic. Not that he would go so far as to say that finding it granted the title of winning, but it didn't really matter. 

"It's the darkest thing I've seen all day! Granted, it isn't black, but it's close enough. Ha, I _knew _there had to be something out there!"

Sauron looked amazing happy snatching up the few articles of clothing that were darker colors. Haldir found to be much nicer to have him be happy than sullen, but it was still a bit creepy. After all it was just clothes. But then again Haldir reflected that it seemed that most of the time things did not go his way, so when it did he might as well enjoy it while it lasted.

They found the shop owner and paid the money for the clothes. Haldir was a bit surprised with how little of the coinage they brought needed to be used for these. It made him feel quite rich actually, but he tried to keep it from going to his head.

Once that was done they headed back to the house, both in quite better moods than they had been a couple minutes earlier.

However as they walked, Haldir couldn't help but remember that strange noise he had heard in the shop. "So…" he began slowly, not wanting his question to knock Sauron off his cloud, "you're happy now?"

"Yes, sadly," Sauron admitted. "If anybody back in M-" He realized that what he was going to say was not anything that should be heard by the people around and so after dragging out the sound for a couple seconds continued. "-my lands had seen me getting pleased over clothes, I'd probably lose nearly all the respect I had."

"Well you aren't there anymore, so it doesn't make any difference. And here it would be better to be wanting a good appearance than the other way around."

"Ah, like I care about your respect anyways."

Haldir did not really consider what Sauron said as he was trying to figure out the proper way about presenting the question that he wanted to ask. "So did you make that noise back in the shop?"

Well, that wasn't quite as tactful as he had wanted to be. Then again, he never had been any good about beating around the bush. He had always been a bit too blunt for his own good. No reason to stop now.

"What noise?"

"You know."

Sauron cocked an eyebrow. "Um, no I don't."

"Come on, you don't have to pretend that you don't know."

"Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about! What noise?" he asked.

Haldir was starting to think that Sauron really didn't know what he was talking about. He looked genuinely confused. "That squeal."

"A squeal?" Sauron asked, looking even more confused.

"Yeah…"

"Are you suggesting that I squealed?" It was a bit strange, but he actually looked a little amused by the implication rather than angered about it.

"Um, yes."

"Honestly, do you think that I would squeal? I don't think that you all have rubbed off on me that much yet."

"But there wasn't anybody else in there besides you and me though."

"Then it was probably you."

Haldir frowned. "No, I didn't have anything to do that about. You were the one who had 'won,'" he said, pointing to the clothes that Sauron was now carrying under his arm.

Sauron did not reply, and Haldir could just about hear the gears turning in his head. Apparently this last argument that Haldir had made hit something home. He cursed, causing Haldir to flinch slightly. "I can't believe this! I've been here for a day and I squealed!? This can't be happening!" He looked about ready to rip out his hair. "I have to do something bad."

Haldir's ears perked up at this. "What?"

"Bad. I need to do something bad, now."

"No, no, no, no, no you don't."

"Yes I do. I'm slipping. It's completely unacceptable."

"No!" Haldir hissed, pulling him away from the sides of the road where the prospect of doing anything wicked was very high. "You can't do anything bad! That's why you're here."

"No, I'm here because I was a retard and did not think to put guards around the one place where my power could be destroyed. See, if I had taken that into consideration a bit more, I can assure you that I would not be here. Well… I might, if I had gotten powerful enough. That's besides the immediate fact though."

"Don't do anything. I swear, you won't be happy if you do."

"When am I ever happy? Won't be much of a change."

"You seemed to be happy a couple minutes ago."

"Well I'm not now and that is all that matters. Come on, I need to do something. Let go of my sleeve."

"No."

"Please?" he implored.

Haldir was a little surprised by that, but didn't say so. "No."

Sauron thought for a moment and seemed to give up. "Fine. You're absolutely no fun at all. You're a complete stiff."

"Whatever."

There was no response to this, and the rest of the short walk to the house was completed in silence. 

Does anybody else think that he stopped that easily? Hm hm hm? *wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more say no more* Expect another chapter in a day or two. 


	20. Sauron's Way of Dealing with Weakness

Okay. New chapter… and that is about all to say! Still reveling in the joys of Spring Break, but there sadly isn't much left. Ugh.

AzureDragoness: I suppose Rondae would mean the same thing as Daeron… but I don't know what Daeron means either so I can't help. And it's kinda funny that you wield a spatula of doom when I wield the ice cream scoop of doom! Cool. 

Pherhyandoiel: Maybe Sauron would drink caffeine. I think that would just be scary. A hyper Sauron would be a bit freaky.

Ruler-of-Da-World: Still love the picture! That was so awesome. I'm gonna expect more now though. ;) Hehehe. And I don't think I'd want Tolkien to read this, I'd become a mumbling blob of embarrassment on the floor. And don't say that I am not a procrastinator yet… give me some time. Heh.

Carmen: I live to please. For now at least, when I rule the universe everybody else has to make me happy. But for now I won't worry about me.

XNemesis: Computers are possessed, I swear. They have their own mind. They do evil things. And you will like this chapter. It's really short. Heh. 

Ewan McGorgeous: I don't need a muse thank you. My own personalities work just fine. And I think that I just won't see Episode III. I'll just skip that and miss Jar Jar Binks that way.

AAAClub: Don't be so fast! He'll do bad things. That's what he is all about. I have the plan, the plan, it's in my head, it just takes some setup to get there. We don't get knives. We just… rap. Yeah. Sad isn't it? But I get to be a ghost! Not that that is relevant to anything at all, but I thought I'd bring it up. Was this update soon enough?

Mystic Catface: Well, this has the first thing which Sauron does that is naughty. But it isn't terrible. That'll come later. Just give me a chapter or two more… or more than that… and I'll have some really juicy stuff. Promise. And of course he can't just turn nice. Which makes it difficult on how to end this thing sometime down the line…

Elderberry: Hm… I think he can meet somebody in the near future. I have this terrible feeling that there is going to be another chapter from Sauron's point of view though. Ah well, it isn't too bad.

Okay, so that this isn't any surprise, this is short. There you go. Enjoy it anyways!

Haldir sat down on the chair with a sigh. Hopefully being so tired was just part of getting used to being alive again. After all, he had gone a long time without ever needing to sleep, so all of this was quite a bit different. Still, it wasn't fun to yawn so that it almost seemed possible that your jaw would unhinge from your face.

Sauron sat in a chair across from him, a smug smile on his face which made Haldir a bit suspicious. "What? I thought that you just got done telling me that you weren't happy," he said as soon as he had stopped yawning.

"I wasn't, but I fixed that problem."

That didn't sound good at all. "What did you do?" Haldir asked narrowing his eyes.

Setting the clothes down on the table, Sauron unfolded them to reveal that inside was a trove of various things. Most was jewelry. And most of the jewelry was rings.

Haldir felt his mouth drop but couldn't do anything about it. "Sauron," he said in a menacing tone, but Sauron just smiled wider.

"I told you I had to do something. Since you were watching over me most of the time, this was all that I could pull off."

"How?" Haldir asked, setting his head in his hands. This was all he needed.

"Simple pick pocketing stuff. Nothing really difficult."

"How can you pick rings off people?" Haldir asked, actually quite interested. That would be a trick to do without anybody noticing.

"Oh those?" he said as he poked at the rings. "Well I just swiped them all off a stand. You let your guard down too many times I must say."

"Why did you do this?"

"I already explained it to you," Sauron said as he began to look over the objects. "I had to even the score with myself. So this is how I chose to do that."

"You couldn't just let it go?"

"Mmm… no. Too important." 

While Haldir tugged a little on two of his braids, Sauron shoved a couple of the rings onto his fingers and sighed unhappily. "Oh, now what?" Haldir asked crossly.

Sauron held his hands out in front of himself and frowned. "I miss my ring."

With no other choice but to allow himself to act upon the impulse, Haldir rolled his eyes. "Get _over _it! For crying out loud, it's gone! It was just a piece of enhanced jewelry anyways."

"Yeah, enhanced with my _spirit_!" Sauron cried, smacking his hands down on the table to stress the point.

"Well geesh, whose idea was that? It's your own fault its gone so you might as well suck it up and forget about it. It melted and is probably now mingled with a couple square meters of solid rock. As for your power, heck if I know what happened with that. But it's gone and done, so stop complaining!" He slouched down in his chair and crossed his arms, adopting an expression that just dared Sauron to say anything back.

Sauron glared at him but did not say anything at the moment. 

Yet then he got up, gathering all of his things from the table. Or at least, all of them but one. This one he held without Haldir's knowledge, and at the right moment threw it at Haldir's head, hitting the mark squarely.

Haldir cursed in a way that surprised Sauron, who did not wait around long even though he was slightly amused by this sudden show of colorful language from the elf. Haldir rubbed the heel of his hand against his forehead, wondering if it was dented. Although he tried to get up quickly to catch that stupid maia, it wasn't quite quick enough. 

Unwilling to waste too much energy over it, Haldir sat down again in the chair and tried to think of something he could do for revenge. 

Perhaps it wasn't really the best example to set, but Haldir couldn't help it. He wouldn't just let him get away with doing stuff like that. Oh no, he could play that game. All his life Haldir had settled the scores and he wouldn't let this time be an exception. And he even had a good reason to do so this time besides simple revenge. Stealing was bad and so Sauron had to be punished for that anyways.

He leaned back in his chair and tried to think of something that he could do. Doubtless there would be many possible prospects, yet he didn't want to go overboard. 

Unconsciously while he thought of the best plan of action, he searched out the messed up braid and began to set it to right.

Then he had it. There was still that half hearted promise about the hair waiting. He had held up his end of the bargain anyways. Perhaps it was time for Sauron to hold up his.

Oh oh oh! The hair! What did I say hm? Next chapter. Perhaps if I stay up again I'll be able to get that chapter done and up this weekend. Maybe. If I feel loved and good stuff like that. Heh.


	21. The Attack of the Hairbrush

Alright, I feel loved and I have this done, so I suppose I can post it today. But don't expect more for a week… at least. Actually, I have Friday off… so yeah, I should have another one next weekend. 

AAAClub: I'm evil? Hmm… good! Muahahaha… I have to get some practice. And this was again pretty quick hm? I'm guessing you all like me having the new computer which actually works.

BlackThunder44: Well, wait no more!

Mystic Catface: Yes, that has to be a major step down from Dark Lord to petty theif huh? 

Ruler-of-Da-World: Yeah, isn't the a coinky-dink that he happened to get all those rings? How odd is that? Hm… *smile* Hair is fun to draw, don't you think? At least I like to draw it but then again, I'm weird so you never know. And the hair thing is finally solved! Woo!

GollumRox: The FON baby is a source of eternal happiness. I think I'll print it off. And you got a lot of reviews from Super Stalker. He was very loyal and seemed to love you a lot. *giggles* You even got the first thing ever about Thu. That review counts for a ton! Don't you think? Maybe? Corn. Mort.

Spoofmaster: Anything to make people happy. Heh. I know what you mean about writing before the thing was done, I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants on this thing trying to get a chapter done every week at least. *pause* Did I just say that? That's creepy.

Pherhyandoiel: I'm glad you like my spoof! It makes me happy that it is still entertaining after, e-gads, 20 chapters. Hehehe… I'll try to keep up the work.

packers fan#4: You always have such enlightening reviews. How do you keep it up? ;)

AzureDragoness: Yes, I feel very loved! We should spar with are doomish instruments of food preparation. That would be fun. Hehehe.

Carmen: Too bad you have work to do instead of reading the revenge at this time. Oh well, I know you'll get there!!

Revenge. MUAHAHAHAHA!! Ehem…

***** 

"Okay, so are you sure that you want to do this?" Elhith asked him, a very skeptical look on his face. Apparently he wasn't sure that _he _wanted to do this.

Haldir smiled. "Positive."

They were sitting at the table in the kitchen. Elhith had come back to the house about ten minutes ago and had been pretty much attacked by Haldir, who wanted to tell him his plan instantly. At the moment he still seemed to be turning everything over in his head.

"He won't be very happy with you if you do this. You know that right?"

"That's the point in doing it. Besides, I'm not letting him get away clean with this," he said, pointing to the red bump on his head. 

Elhith grinned. "It's kind of funny actually. He likes to use rings as his weapon of choice doesn't he? I'm seeing a pattern."

"Apparently. Now, are you going to help?"

After pausing for a moment, Elhith nodded. "I suppose so. I mean, so long as he cannot actually do anything in retaliation."

Haldir knew what he meant. "Other than huck rings at you, he can't do much. And with two people it should be easier to pull off. So, you understand the plan?"

"What plan? As far as I heard, all we're doing is jumping him with a hairbrush. I don't know if that really counts as a plan."

With a wave of his hand, Haldir ignored the question. "It is good enough. So long as the objective is completed."

"And to make sure that I didn't miss anything, that would be…?" Elhith ventured.

Haldir grinned, a puckish light to his eyes. "To ensure that his hair is in as nice of condition as any elf that you could find here."

Although he shook his head, Elhith smiled back. "Well then, let's get this over and done with before I think better of it."

They made their way out of the kitchen, Haldir even feeling brave enough to lead the way. He felt mighty proud of himself for being able to navigate through that large home, but he didn't dwell on it long. There were more important matters at hand.

When they made it up the stairs, Haldir told Elhith to wait by Sauron's door while he went and got the brush. Quickly he went into his room and searched through some of the drawers and such before finding what he wanted. He looked over the brush, feeling rather sorry for it because of the mess it was going to be used on. Could not be helped though.

Once he was back in the hall, he motioned for Elhith to lean close. "All right, here's a better plan for you," he whispered. "You knock and get him to come out. I'll stay around the corner out of sight since I bet he knows that I would be up to something in the near future. Hopefully he won't think that you're in on it. Then I'll wait for an opening. All right?"

"Okay, I guess."

Haldir smiled and backed to the corner, hearing Elhith knock on the door. There was silence for a brief moment, but then a mumbled "What do you want?" could be discerned from behind the door.

"I ah, wanted to tell you thaaat… dinner is ready. You didn't have any lunch I heard, so I thought you might want to know," Elhith stumbled along.

"Where is Haldir?"

"He's around," Elhith said, glancing over at Haldir, who had poked his head back so that he could hear better.

After another pause, the door opened and Sauron came out. Haldir quickly ducked back into the room and tried to keep himself from laughing. He felt incredibly naughty, like he was playing one of the sorts of pranks his younger brothers would do at times, and it felt quite good actually. As a rule he had not evened the score in the same manner, but had chosen to give them horrible watches at the worst possible times. There were some definite pluses to being the Marchwarden. 

"Well?" Haldir could hear Sauron ask Elhith, an obvious air of suspicion creeping into his voice.

"Um, that's a nice tunic," Elhith said lamely.

Even from his spot, Haldir rolled his eyes. Really smooth Elhith.

"What's going on?" 

It was time to go. If he waited any longer, there was a very good chance that he wouldn't get away with the scheme.

Quickly and quietly, like he had been taught to do all this life, Haldir moved from his spot in the room and walked down the hall towards the other two. Elhith did not glance over at him once while he snuck up, which was very helpful.

Finally he was just feet away, and it was at this time that he jumped and just about tackled Sauron to the ground.

He thought it worked out very nicely. He didn't get banged up at all. Now, Sauron on the other hand might have felt a bit more. After all, he had been like Haldir's cushion to the floor. Not that he had made a very good cushion, but he had been one nonetheless.

Upon hitting the floor, he let out a sound that seemed very similar to that which people made when they had the wind knocked out of them. Haldir of course took advantage of this and sat up. He figured that it probably didn't help Sauron much however as in this repositioning he was now sitting squarely in the middle of Sauron's back to keep him pinned to the ground, but he wasn't that worried about his discomfort.

Elhith stood to the side and watched Haldir begin the task of trying to make the mess attached to Sauron's head look a bit more like hair. Frankly, he found it a bit interesting. On one side he felt bad for Sauron's head because it was going to be sore when Haldir was done, but on the other he felt bad for the brush. Even inanimate things should not have to take that kind of abuse.

Presently Sauron seemed to get his breath back, and he let out a pretty steady stream of curses for the next few minutes. Some of them Haldir found quite original. While he yelled these at them, he tried to wiggle free. All of these attempts to get loose were unsuccessful however. Factors that were against him included that he had landed on his right arm and so he only had use of his left one, and that his head was pretty much anchored to the brush by this time so that Haldir just about held reign over him.

After a bit he stopped squirming to Haldir's relief. It had started to get really annoying. However it didn't stop the ranting and yelling at all. If anything it only made it worse. After all, now all of his energy could be focused on that task.

"What do you think you are doing!?"

"Well, I was kind of thinking that I was trying to fix your hair."

"Get off of me! I can't breathe!"

"I'm sure that you're able to breathe because otherwise you would not be wasting your breath on talking. And I'm not getting off until I'm done because I know that you will just run off if I do or else pelt me with jewelry."

"I did not sign up for this," he complained.

"Of course you didn't, you only promised me. You wouldn't write something like this down. That would just be silly, don't you think?"

"I didn't actually mean what I said!"

"Obviously I did though. I kept up my end, therefore you have to keep up yours."

"But I never keep- OW! Hey, that's attached!"

"Sorry," Haldir apologized as he tried to untangle another evil snarl.

"As I was saying, I never keep my word. It's something I'm known for."

"Maybe we can change that then. What do you think?"

"Somehow I do not think this is the method to use in going about trying to change my natural tendencies."

"Well it's the way we're going to try today. Now stop talking. It keeps making your head move and that is how come I keep ending up tugging at you."

That did not seem to be a good enough argument. "Can't you just leave my hair alone?"

"Not really. Besides I'm like a quarter of the way done."

"Only a quarter!" Sauron cried.

"I tell you, if you're quiet, I'll get done much faster."

"You're stupid."

Haldir raised a brow but did not answer this random statement. Instead he momentarily forgot that he held the brush and that normally you didn't just suddenly pull it up.

Sauron yelped. "OUCH! What are you trying to do, scalp me?"

Although he smiled, he still remained silent.

As he had suspected, it did take a while to get done. However, unlike he has suspected, there were no strange families of animals nesting within the tangles either. And even though there was still probably a ton of salt in Sauron's hair, it wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be.

Finally, right about the time that his left leg was falling asleep from being sat on, Haldir had gotten all the hair untangled. He couldn't help but frown a bit when he wondered if Sauron's whole lower body was asleep by now after having had him squashing it for who knew how long. At least it was not his problem.

While for a moment Haldir considered finishing the task as he would have done to his own hair, meaning to braid parts of it back to keep it out of his face, he figured that he'd let Sauron retain some amount of dignity and not give him braids. It might be a bit much. Just having it look like normal hair was a big enough step as it was.

He got up slowly, leaning on his right leg since the other one was tingling from waking up. Elhith gave him a hand and then they stood there for a minute waiting for Sauron to do something. He hadn't said anything for a while, and after having been stuck in that position for so long one would think that he'd move as soon as he had the chance.

"I hope I didn't kill him," Haldir said, not really believing or meaning any of the words he said in that statement.

"I don't die quite that easily," was the reply to this.

Sauron flipped himself over, cringing all the while. "My legs…" he said, wiggling his feet and instantly groaning. "It hurts!"

"Well if it helps any, my leg is doing the same thing."

"Yeah, ONE of your legs. This is both of mine! And my arm! Oh, needles… I hate this. Now I remember why I didn't like having these sorts of bodies. The circulation in the appendages always gets cut off for stupid reasons and then it hurts. Oww… Like it wasn't enough that I feel as though I am probably going to be walking around with my skull protruding out of my head, I also have to have lost feeling in like two thirds of my body."

"If it hurts you're feeling something though," Haldir pointed out.

"You know what I mean."

Haldir shrugged. "Want to try and stand?"

"No," Sauron answered, and there was an almost pouty note to his voice.

"Suit yourself then. We'll wait for you."

"How considerate," Sauron replied sardonically.

"Well you know that is just my goal in life so I do what I can."

By now Haldir was not feeling pins in his leg anymore, and with Elhith they both sat down in the hall as they waited for Sauron's legs to recover also. He had a feeling that it might be a while.

Haldir took this time to check on his handiwork. Even though anything would have probably been a step up from what it had been, Sauron's hair looked quite nice. Haldir congratulated himself on the success of his mission. In fact, now having the tunic that was in decent shape along with hair that actually looked like hair, Sauron could easily pass for anybody else on the streets. Again Haldir had the feeling that there was something inanely wrong with that but tried not to dwell on it long. And besides, he still had an expression that could have wilted plants and curdled milk.

Finally after a minute or two, Sauron got up, even if he did complain. Haldir was not bothered by it on this occasion however. If anything he was pleased. Punishments were only so when the person receiving it was not happy with it.

"I swear, I'll get you back for this Haldir."

"You should be thanking me."

Sauron snorted. "Not likely even if it had been something that I wanted you to do. Never going to happen for something I didn't want you to do."

"Oh, it looks fine."

"That's the problem." 

"What is wrong with it actually looking okay? I'm sure that not everything you have has to be 'bad'. After all, you just got new clothes, which can hardly be called anything negative, and you seemed pretty pleased with it."

"That is different though. My old clothes were just nasty, and nasty is different from what you are categorizing as 'bad'. Of course the clothes aren't bad either; it's impossible for them to have such an alignment since they are not alive."

"You know what I was getting at though."

"Yes I do. So basically all I have to say is that the clothes were bought under certain criteria which I was looking for. On the other hand, perfect hair was _not _something I was looking for, therefore it causes a problem," he said, patting his head to feel his hair. The changing of his expression was intriguing; it was something new every couple seconds.

"Nothing to worry about then, since your hair is not perfect."

Sauron sighed and dropped his hands back to his sides. "Hopeless, completely and utterly hopeless," he mumbled to himself as he went down the stairs, leaving a laughing Haldir and Elhith behind.

*****

Yeah, I'm gonna start putting * before and after the chapter cause it just looks better than having the one space between replies and the writing. So you know. Well, I think that was a productive chapter week, don't you? You better or else I will be sad. 


	22. Dark Lords Don't Cook

Okay, I have an excuse. After all those chapters during Spring Break and with the start of school again my creativity deflated and died. I had to take a bit of time to bury it and get a new one. That's all there is to it! I'm sure you know how it is. 

As a side note, I just want to say that my group did very well at our Julius Caesar rap and that I think I pulled off my death by wooden spoon quite nicely. 

Anyways, this chapter is a bit brief all things considered, but I thought it would tide you over until I can think of a tactful way to move the story up like a whole year. Something which is proving to be a bit difficult. I'll get there though.

Reviews! Awesome, I got the most ever for that chapter! Weee!

Elderberry: Elhith just never has had to do stuff like that before so he isn't very subtle. And I'm sure that Sauron likes nice hair, but it just isn't right for him to admit it!

di-sama: I thank you for your ideas, but I do have a bit of a plan. I just need to get over this jump between the time it's at now and to the next year. And Haldir rocks. Hehe. Thank you for reviewing!

Black Thunder44: Scaray huh?

XNemesis: Serious ewwww. *pause* No, more ewww is required. Ewww. Okay, that's enough. I'm glad that even though it was freaky at first that you got over it and enjoyed the chapter! Where in the book are the names and stuff? I have that booky, and I'd like to look, but I haven't the patience to actually go through it!

Ruler-of-Da-World: Most of the time I want to laugh really loud everybody is asleep so I have to contain it and that is not healthy. And I agree, I think that Elhith was born in Valinor and never had a taste of naughtiness. Eh… I hate mold. It's nasty. But not as much as I hate fetal pig. But here is the chapter, even if it is half a week later than usual.

AAAClub: I'm so glad you love it! I'll try my hardest to keep it that way too!

Pherhyandoiel: My inspiration for that was the fact that at the moment from the knee down on my right leg was asleep, which I hate too! You'd be surprised how many thing are in here that work their way in from the fact that they happened to me…

Darth T-Rex: I'm glad you liked this chapter! Hopefully I can make even better ones in the future, but we'll have to see!

AzureDragoness: Here's more! And by now I think I have a consensus that it was a productive week. Go me!

Twisted Mary Sue: Uh… you can't say stuff like that. It'll scar the poor Frotu's mind. And I think that anybody would like to have somebody who was once (or is) more powerful than themselves under their sway. It's how the human psyche works. Probably a bad explanation but I can't take more time for it. And you're funny enough, it is just in a twisted way, which is fitting! And you didn't update either. Boo. 

Kit Cloudkicker: Hehe… Haldir has more than that. He has a down right bad side, it just hasn't come out. Yet.

Thu: *laughs hysterically and falls off chair, only to continue laughing for the next ten minutes, giving self a hernia* TTTHHHHUUUUUU!!!! Okay I'm done. And you can tell Forkie that she would have gotten a 136 if she hadn't turned it in early. *raspberry*

Carmen: I knew you'd like that chapter. I'm smaaart.

Okay, I'm good now! Here's the chapter! Mind, it is a little sad and pathetic cause I did write it late last night, but it is only like a snack. Yup.

*****

Haldir was laying on the couch staring up at the ceiling. He was bored. Beyond belief. And that wasn't really a good thing considering that it had been a bit of a habit of his that upon getting bored that he would end up getting into some sort of mischief to amuse himself. 

Considering this for a minute, he figured that it was that which had led his parents to send him off to learn to fight upon the marches.

However there were no marches in Valinor. Well, there probably were he thought, but it wasn't as though they actually had to be protected. There wasn't anything bad there. Except for Sauron of course but he didn't really count.

Sighing he flipped over and got up, twirling the comb that he still had in his hand and then flicking it into a container that looked like it would work nicely as a garbage. It really was too bad about the comb. But after having something like a third of its teeth broken off it wasn't worth much.

Sauron had grumbling about the whole thing for the rest of that afternoon, and probably still was, but had been taking it better than Haldir had really expected. For a while he had groused in his room, and then he had groused in the study. After that he had gone off somewhere else where Haldir had figured he had groused too.

Now when Haldir went into the kitchen, he found Sauron there leaning against the counter. He was looking up at all the different things in the cupboards and drawers while spinning some of his hair in his hand in a thoughtful manner. 

This Haldir found a bit funny, but he figured that he had degraded Sauron enough for the day and would not point out that he was playing with his hair. However if he caught him doing it again, it was likely he'd rub it in a bit.

Coming into the room he leaned against the counter too. "What are you looking at?" Haldir asked when Sauron didn't acknowledge his presence.

Sauron glanced over him momentary but did not answer. He also promptly dropped his hand from his head.

"Well?" Haldir persisted.

"I'm not looking _at _something, I'm looking _for _something," he said finally.

"What are you looking for then?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Not particularly. Just thought that perhaps I could help you find it."

Sauron sighed. "I'm looking for something to eat if you're so keen to know."

"Oh, finally hungry?" he asked with a smile.

"No, I just am bored and it'd be something to do."

Haldir thought that was amusing. Sauron was turning out to be even stranger than he thought he would have been. Never had the thought of using food to fill time occurred to him. "You know if you just eat when you're bored you'll get fat."

Turning to him, Sauron gave him one of those 'honestly' looks that Haldir was starting to think he could be famous for. "Do I really look like I'm in danger of that happening any time in the near future?" he asked.

Haldir shook his head. "Not really. So, are you sure that you are just wanting to eat because you're bored and not because you're hungry?"

"Yes," he said quickly.

However the very next moment his stomach growled so loudly that the people in the house next to them could probably hear. 

There was a long pause. Haldir felt as though he was doing something bad to the muscles in his stomach by trying not to laugh. Sauron bit his lip for a moment and then smiled cheerlessly. "Okay, I'm hungry. There isn't anything I can do about it, try as I might."

"I know. It isn't like I don't get hungry either." He looked up at the cupboards now too. "So what did you have in mind?"

"Something edible preferably."

"No really," Haldir muttered.

"What do you normally eat?"

"Ugh," Haldir said, deciding that the whole thing was ridiculous. 

He stepped forward and began to rummage around to see what sort of things could be eaten without any preparation. Surprisingly not much turned out. While it had seemed that there was an abundance of food that morning, there wasn't anything now that could be eaten as it was.

"Well, that's just… disappointing," he said finally as he shut the last cupboard.

"There's nothing?"

Haldir held up something that resembled a fruit in some manner and tossed it to Sauron. "That's the extent of what I could find."

Catching it, Sauron looked at it with slight interest. But the interest did not seem to go far enough to the point of eating it. "That's lovely," he said setting it down on the counter. "Well?"

Haldir blinked at him. "Well what?"

"What are you going to do?"

"What am I going to do?" he asked laughing. "Nothing, why should I?"

"Because."

He raised a brow. "Care to elaborate?"

"No."

"Well 'because' is not really going to cut it."

"Come now, you can figure it out. What are you going to make or whatever?"

Again Haldir laughed, even harder this time. "You expect me to make something?"

Sauron nodded. "In more words or less."

"I thought you said that you wanted something edible."

He squinted. "I do. I don't want to be leaning over a bucket for the rest of the night regurgitating my first meal."

"That's disgusting. I don't need to hear things like that, especially when you are expecting me to make something to eat."

"Well geeze, do you realize how long its been since I've had to watch what I said to prevent people from getting nauseated?"

"A long time, I bet."

"Yes, like…" he looked off, obviously counting mentally to try and figure out the number of years it had been.

Haldir decided that they didn't have time for that and elbowed him in the arm. "Well, if you are expecting me to make something, you have to help. I've never cooked."

Sauron tilted his head at him a little. "You've never cooked?"

"No. Have you?"

There was a pause just long enough to make the answer questionable. "No…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…"

"… Are you still sure?"

"Yes! Shut up, I haven't cooked!"

"I think you have."

Sauron made a sound of frustration. "I don't cook! When do you think I would have cooked? I've lived in a tower in the middle of a volcanic ash field. And besides that and the fact that I was always plotting destruction, dark lords don't cook!"

"What about before you were a dark lord then?"

Again there was another questionable pause. "A bit maybe."  


Haldir laughed right out. He set his head on his arms over the counter and just laughed and laughed. Once or twice he even snorted. By the time he got it out of his system he had to wipe his eyes. If only everybody knew that Sauron, who had always seemed to be so scary, had actually cooked.

Sauron just looked at him haughtily through the whole thing. "It was only once or twice when they needed help during festivals. And it wasn't much so don't think that I was over filling pastries or breaking parsley to garnish things."

This suggestion made Haldir laugh again and Sauron rolled his eyes. "Garnish! You even know what garnish is!"

"Will you stop it? I do not see what is so funny. At least I know how to some extent. You'd just starve to death."

"I never starved." 

"Well then if you don't make your food, where'd you get it?"

"I got rations; everything was already made by the time I got it."

"See, at least I can take care of myself," Sauron said.

"Yes, falling off boats and not being able to remember if you're hungry really counts as taking care of yourself."

"Anyways, back to the food," Sauron said changing the subject while looking down at his stomach which had complained again. "I need something."

"You should have eaten when we were out and I got something."

"But I wasn't hungry then!"

"I told you that you would be!"

"I didn't know!" Sauron said, pounding his fist down on the counter.

"Okay, fine! We'll figure it out! Keep your tunic on, gracious…" He prodded through the cupboards, but then thought better of it. "What do you know how to make?"

"Eh…" Sauron began, frowning. "I can't remember. It was really simple though."

"Well, if I toss something out here, will you be able to make something?"

"Maybe. Not likely. And anything I could do probably wouldn't be pretty."

"Well, we'll see what we can do then."

As was foreseen, it wasn't pretty. Not at all. In fact, it was downright ugly. 

Thirteen minutes before they had started, they were fanning smoke around the kitchen to try and get it to disperse. While the hearth probably could have taken normal cooking, this probably did not count as normal cooking.

While it had looked fairly decent to begin with, close enough to what would be bread, something had gone horribly wrong in the hearth. They had been sitting at the table where Haldir had been trying to convince Sauron to play rock, parchment, swords, which had just about been a game in itself. 

Then they both had noticed a weird smell and after looking at each other with confused expressions they had figured it out and rushed over to the hearth only to find that nearly the whole inside had caught fire.

And so there they were. They had gotten the flames out and were now trying to fan the smoke around. 

Haldir coughed. "Who's idea was this again?"

"Well I was hungry, but you are the one who said that I could make it," Sauron replied. 

"Tell me never to let you do so again."

"Don't worry about it; I don't plan on doing so again. It's so servile."

"You were making it for yourself though," Haldir pointed out.

"Well… it was still servile. I should have other people come and make it for me."

Haldir ignored this. "I think we learned a good lesson. Never cook," he said after sneezing again.

"Agreed."

They continued on for a few minutes more, even when Elhith came down and looked at them with shock as they were jumping all over the kitchen flapping towels around madly. He stared at them for a minute and then just turned back and went upstairs again, shaking his head.

Finally most of the smoke cleared and they sat down again in silence. Yet silence in that house seemed to be a rare thing. 

"I'm still hungry," Sauron said.

Haldir rolled his eyes and sighed, but couldn't help but laugh. 

*****

Yeeea! Sorry if that was stupid, but it's what you're getting so too bad! Muahahaaaa… eh, I'm too tired to laugh evilly. 


	23. Horse Bad, Destructive Explosives Good

I have another good excuse. This chapter was hard to write. It took me forever to figure out how to jump as much time as I had to, and I have no idea if I did it all right anyways. No matter! It's a chapter so it counts. And it's loooong. Which makes it count even more! Hahahaha. 

Oh, quick question for you readers. Does anybody know if you can put stories back up that have been taken off? Sounds stupid, I know, but I have no idea why they were removed and nobody wrote me back when I e-mailed to find out. So I wanted to see if anybody else knew so that maybe I could repost my spoofs.

Now that that is out of the way, reviewers! Bakunka!

Pherhyandoiel: Obviously you liked it! Good! And I hope you had a good Spring Break. School… makes me sad.

XNemesis: Cooking is fun! Woo! Actually not really. I too happen to be of the opinion that other people should just make it for me. Kinda where I got the idea in the first place. I just bribe my brother with mints and make him go off and cook stuff. He's getting pretty good. Manipulation skills, honing them down you see. Haha.

AzureDragoness: No, it didn't really count did it? But he knew more than Haldir, even though it was like nothing. And you must be lenient on me because they are only late because I want to make sure I can post them. Yes, see, cause I have to do good in school for my parents to let me on the computer, and so it takes me so long to write them because I'm trying to do good at school. Just in case though… *goes and digs Ice Cream Scoop of Doooom out of the random kitchen utensils cabinet*

Ruler-of-Da-World: Elhith is just so talented, he can do all the random things that Sauron and Haldir can't. What a coinkydink! You're probably out of Easter break now… maybe… so you didn't miss anything! It'll get more of a plot soon. Spiffy eh? Muahahaha. Most of it's kinda random though. Random is my favorite word however! And I read that thingy, did you get my review? I probably said stupid stuff, I can't remember though. My new word is bakunka. 

Twisted Mary Sue: Work, school, it is all one endless line of life sucking activities is it not? Such is the world though. Enough of that depressing crap, don't worry about the updates. So long as you get there eventually. Just not so eventually that you die first. That would be crap. Sorry to dig up memories, that can always be… creepy. And I'm so addicted to so much stuff right now that I really should just live in a cave for a while.

Darth T-Rex: Brilliant! Yippy! You know that is one of my many nicknames. But it was meant more sarcastically though… no matter! Glad you enjoyed.

Black Thunder44: Depends on who you ask and under what circumstances whether cooking is degrading or not.

GollumRox: Yes I know Thu is your ain true love. That's why I said it. Derr. Your reviews are bakunka. But they are reviews. Yea.

Carmen: You must not obsess with the Doritos. It'll give you karma.

AAAClub: Many of the things in here are things that you probably wouldn't see everyday. But that's fun! 

Ms. B: Heh, you are reaaaaaally far behind. Haha. Poor Ms. B. Now you'll have even more to read! Sorry! I still love you though. I'd almost call you my master besides the fact that I can't and won't have any masters. :-D

Okay, I'm done. Phew!

*****

After flipping the page of the book he was reading, Haldir reflected on how nice and peaceful the house was. It had to have been the thousandth time he had thought such. But he was enjoying the peace so much that it was hard to not be constantly reminding himself of how lovely it was.

He was not exactly sure who he had to thank for it. It had probably been a couple different people. Not that it really mattered to Haldir who had done it but that it had been done. He had needed the break.

Those first two months that he had been there were as close as it got to having a nightmare in the middle of a dream. Everything was wonderful, as good as a person could possibly wish. Except for one thing. And that thing was, of course, none other than Sauron.

It seemed like he was bound and determined to twist every little thing that Haldir might have otherwise enjoyed. Well, it more than just seemed that way. Haldir knew on good authority that it was such. Heck, Sauron had only told him so himself.

While a certain pattern had existed in that time, it had not been a very pleasant pattern. Sauron would do something and Haldir would figure out some way to retaliate. Elhith would stand by and just observe. 

There had been, of course, a few occasions when they had gotten along amazingly well to the surprise of everybody, including themselves, but those had been very rare. Most of the time they had just acted like four year olds and insisted on pestering each other in hopes that one would break eventually.

Then a few days after it had reached the two month mark since they had been there, right when Haldir was thinking that he might just like to break and get it all over with, Eonwe had come. Sauron was to go and spend some time away. Where away was Haldir had no clue. So long as it was away from him he could have cared less.

Sauron had cared a bit though. Evidently he had an idea of where he would be going and didn't like it at all. Not that he liked much anyways, but he seemed to loath this even more than most things.

Eonwe had simply laughed at him for a minute or so and then had forced him out the door without any further ado. And that had been the end of that.

So for the last fourteen months or so Haldir had been free. He'd taken the time and gotten used to the new environment. By now he had Quenya down and had blended in with everybody else to the highest point possible. All things considered, life was good. At times he even forgot why he had gotten out of Mandos.

A week ago however he had been reminded. Sauron had finally finished his rounds or whatever for the next couple decades and would be coming back soon. Ever since then Haldir had been trying to gear himself up. It had been so long since he had been sarcastic or anything which had typically been his nature. He thought that it would probably take a while to get back into it again.

At that moment there conveniently was a knock on the door which jolted Haldir from his thoughts. He groaned inwardly and looked over at Elhith, who was once again in the kitchen having to cook a meal. Haldir still hadn't been able to figure it out, try as he might. It could have had something to do with the fact that he was always afraid to risk even making an attempt after that last episode.

When Elhith just shrugged in a way that said that there was nothing that he could do about it, Haldir finally got up and went to the door to open it.

He was not too surprised to see Sauron there. Yup, he was back. Great.

"Well?" Sauron demanded, frowning at him. "Let me in. I live here too."

Without any more ceremony than that he came in, tossing a couple saddle bags at the bottom of the stairs. Haldir just stood looking at him for a minute as he proceeded down the hall to the kitchen.

He followed after him, and found that he had already made himself quite at home. Which wasn't really that remarkable since, as he had pointed out, he did live there. Only he hadn't for over a year. Apparently that was of no consequence though.

Sauron sighed and leaned back in the couch, stretching his legs out in front of him. "I hate horses," he muttered as he closed his eyes. "Abdominal creatures."

"You had to ride one back here?" Haldir asked.

"Yes, the whole cursed day." He opened his eyes again for a moment and looked at Haldir. "The _whole _cursed day."

"How many hours straight?"

"Too many. Something like eight I'm guessing."

Haldir snorted. "That was really wise."  


"I forgot, okay? I think I've ridden a horse an amount that you could count on your fingers, and none of them were recent enough for me to recollect."

"You always seem to learn the hard way," Haldir pointed out.

"I do, don't I?" he admitted. 

"Going to do anything about it?"

"Can't. It's just part of my nature. Ugh, I am so sore," Sauron complained, pressing the heel of his hands against his eyes. "Did I mention that I hate horses?"

"Yes, in fact, you did."

"Okay, good. I just want that to be clear."

"You're going to end up walking everywhere you know."

"I don't care. Horses are evil."

Haldir smirked at this.

"What are you smiling about?" Sauron snapped at him.

"I was just thinking that if horses are evil that you should get along well with them," he replied.

"What, because I'm evil?"

Haldir nodded.

"Well you know, evil is only an opinion. See to me, I would say that horses are evil because they make me miserable, and anything that makes me miserable must be evil. Therefore I would say that the Valar should be there too. So horses and the Valar. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to call you evil, but you are an annoyance. Then I would say that I was good because everything I do is right by my standards. This is by the terminology that you would use of course."

"That made absolutely no sense. You are wanting to be good now or something?"

Sauron shook his head. "No. See, you use evil to describe things which contradict what you think is right. Horses contradict what I think is right, therefore they are evil."

"Your logic is so full of holes that if it was a boat it would sink."

"Speaking of boats, water is evil too. Stupid Ulmo. Anyways, it does too make sense, you're just too dense to figure it out. I had thought that by now Valinor would have worked enough on you that you'd be a bit more discerning that you were before. Guess not."

"I get what you are saying, it just isn't applicable since the word evil was pretty much made specially for the endeavors of your master and yourself."

Sighing, Sauron began to crack his fingers. "I'm not going to get into this right now. I'm so tired that I can hardly think straight."

"Maybe that's why nothing you are saying makes much sense."

"Or maybe… not," he replied, lacking a better comeback at the moment.

At this time Haldir began to think a little. How long had Sauron been back? All of five minutes maybe? And they were already getting into these stupid picking conversations? So much for peace.

Sauron seemed to get over this very quickly and went off on something else, although this was much easier to reply to than the topic before. "Do I smell food?" he asked.

"Probably. Elhith was making dinner I believe."

"Still haven't learned to cook?" Sauron scoffed at him.

Haldir narrowed his eyes. "No, have you?"

"Of course not."

"I hope you weren't meaning for that to be an insult then because the only way it would work would involve you receiving it also."

"Doesn't matter," he said as he got up. He grimaced slightly when he did this. It seemed that it was not any kind of joke that he had been riding way too long.

"Are you going to need medicine or something?" Haldir asked, watching Sauron wince at just about every step he took.

"No, I just need a new pair of legs. And back too probably."

"Elhith is the remedy savvy one, I'm sure he has something the would help and be a bit less drastic."

Sauron grunted but did not say anything.

"Where were you that made it take so long to get back?" Haldir asked as they walked slowly to the kitchen.

"In the mountains way out there," he said, gesturing vaguely off to his left.

"What where you doing there?"

"Quarrying," he replied succinctly.

"Sounds like fun."

"Not really. It was probably the least so of everything I've done while I was gone. Hard manual labor is just about everything that I dislike rolled into one. Maybe it should be added to my list of things which are evil."

By this time he had gotten to the kitchen and sat down in a chair, displaying a 'you can serve me now' look upon his face.

Elhith looked over at him briefly. "Back again?"

Sauron nodded. "Looks that way doesn't it?"

"Learn anything? Morals perhaps?"

Sauron snorted. "Morals? I think I have plenty of morals."

"Did you learn any _good _morals then?"

"Oh, we're getting into that good/evil thing again are we?"

"Should I rephrase it as 'did you learn our morals' then?"

Sauron nodded. "That would be better."

"All right. Did you learn our morals?"

"I learned them, yes. Took them to heart, no."

"Figures," Haldir put in.

"Did anybody ask you for your opinion?" 

"No, but I gave it anyways, didn't I?" Haldir retorted.

"Well next time keep it to yourself. Nobody cares."

"And that is supposed to deter me how?"

Sauron sighed angrily. "Now the reason why I liked being all alone so much comes back. There wasn't anybody around to backtalk!"

"Except yourself, which seems to be somebody you enjoy talking to."

"Dinner then!" Elhith broke in, stopping them before they could really get started.

They glared at each other for a moment and then began to eat in silence. Elhith looked completely unbothered and smiled pretty much through the whole meal. Then again he was probably getting immune to the arguments and had expected them to be part of the routine.

Once the meal was over Haldir helped Elhith clean everything up while Sauron remained in his seat. Haldir normally would have nagged him about this, but since he looked like he was trying to psych himself up to simply get out of the chair he decided just to let him be.

After a bit, coincidentally when the meal had finally been picked up, Sauron managed to stumble up out of the chair. Haldir couldn't resist smirking at the use of some various phrases, all of which included the word 'horse,' that followed this action.

Elhith however, whose seemed to hold no grudge against anybody and treated everybody with the same amount of attention, looked up from drying a plate. "What's that about horses?" he asked.

"He hates them," Haldir answered.

Sauron glared at him, which wasn't something spectacular. It pretty much seemed like he had such an expression on all the time. Haldir decided that he'd have to figure out a word for it. Glare just didn't cut it anymore.

"Why don't you like horses?" Elhith continued.

"Because riding one made him sore."

"I'm perfectly capable of answering questions that are directed to me without your help Haldir!" Sauron said crossly.

"Then speak up quicker."

Surprisingly there was no remark to this last comment, and Elhith was left to fill in the gap. "Would you like anything?"

"I would like many more things than you could possibly offer."

"Would you like anything so that you aren't sore then? Am I going to need to make sure that I'm always being very specific?"

"Yes and yes."

"Come with me then. I'm sure that I have something."

"Come with you where?"

"Upstairs."

"Uh…" Sauron began, frowning. 

"You're going to have to go up sometime or another, so it might as well be now. Haldir, you can carry his stuff up for him."

Haldir was going to object to this, not necessarily because he felt like being contradictory, but because Sauron looked over him and smirked in such a way to make it obvious that he'd like to have Haldir's pride smashed around a bit. However, before he could say anything, Elhith spoke again. "Just carry them. And Sauron," he said, looking right at him as he pointed and jeered silently at Haldir, "you be nice too."

Not waiting for any arguments, Elhith set the plate down and went to the stairs. The other two came along a bit slower: Haldir because he didn't really want to help Sauron out, and Sauron because he just couldn't move very quickly at the moment.

At the bottom of the stairs Haldir picked up the bags - there were five. For a second he thought about letting Sauron go on first while he picked them up, but then decided that considering the pace he was going at being behind did not seem very satisfactory. Having decided this he hurried up, not really caring if the bags bumped into the stairs. Or more like ran into them hard.

However after the first time they smacked nicely into one step, Sauron yelled at him. "Can you at least show some amount of care with my things?!"

"Why ever would I do that?" 

"Because I asked?"

"Mmm…"

Elhith jumped in, once again. He was becoming quite the mediator. "Haldir, don't be difficult. You're not setting a good example."

The instant after he said this Haldir and Sauron agreed on something, although indirectly. They both objected to Elhith's words, even if it was for different reasons.

"My example is better than what he acts like any day!" Haldir exclaimed.

"I don't need anybody trying to set examples for me!" Sauron said at the same time. 

Elhith sighed. "Well, you are both wrong. Haldir, you were expected to get him to stop acting this way rather than keep him in a cycle where it is better for him if he continues being a complete snit."

Sauron looked a bit unsure about whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.

"So you need to at least try not to act like a snit yourself. Otherwise he'll be able to condone what he says by telling that you do it too. And Sauron, apparently you do need an example because the way you act now is not the way you should act."

"I think that you are underestimating how decently well behaved I've been," Sauron said, sounding almost a bit put out. 

"Really? Well, you're more than welcome to prove me wrong."

"I believe that the worst thing that I've done the whole time I've been here was stealing that jewelry back when. Or wait…" He trailed off and frowned a bit, pausing at the third step. "Actually I did attempt to make some minor explosives while I had been doing forging. They hadn't really worked like I wanted them too though."

Elhith shook his head sadly, but Haldir was a bit interested. He hadn't heard that one word before.

"Explosives?" he said slowly, not sure about the word.

"Yes, explosives," Sauron said, looking over at him as he finally started to come up the stairs again. 

"What are they?"

"You don't know?" he asked incredulously. 

"No…"

"I thought I had used those on Lorien before when I was hiding out in Dol Guldur," he mused. "You sure you don't know about them? They are often in fireworks, maybe that rings more of a bell?"

"Fireworks? Oh… those things Mithrandir makes?" Haldir said, wondering if he was getting closer to figuring it out.

Sauron scowled a bit at this. "Yes, that horrible…" he rattled off for a minute, one in which Haldir wasn't about to interrupt him. Presently though Sauron seemed to become aware that Haldir was still expecting some sort of answer. "Well, yes, he makes them too. But he knows I made them first!" 

The expression on his face now was as close to a pout as was possible without really being a pout.

"You made fireworks then?"

"I did, a long time ago. Like, a loooong time ago. Then I changed a couple things around in them and made just explosives. Those were more interesting."

"Which do…?"

"They blow up."

"I gathered that."

"Well, you put this powder in some container, usually of metal. Then there is a fuse which you light, and when the fire reaches the powder is goes BOOM!!!"

Elhith tripped on the top stair when Sauron screamed out this last word. Sauron snorted, smiling slightly. 

"That reaction is what I loved about things blowing up," he said, a very reminiscent tone about his voice.

"Yeah…"

"So yes, see, I'd make these things and I'd have the orcs take them out to battle with them to huck at you guys and stuff. Then you'd all blow up into thousands of little pieces. Only, the orcs really didn't get the hang of the concept for a while and consequently would keep it a bit long and make _themselves _blow up into a thousand little pieces. They figured it out eventually."

"That was more information than I was really going for, but that's okay."

"It's so hard to tell how much you want to know sometimes. Or always."

"It isn't really how much you tell, it's what you tell."

"Oh."

"Besides that though, I am a little interested in how you got the idea in the first place," he said as they finally got to the top of the stairs.

"Bit of a funny story actually," Sauron said with a wry smile.

"A funny story, really? Now is this one that I would find funny or one that just your warped humor finds funny?"

"It would probably be funnier to you than it is to me. And it was not even funny to me for a long time."

"Care to share then?" Haldir asked.

"Sure, why not," Sauron replied.

"Sauron's Story Time. Lovely."

Sauron paused. "Don't ever say that again."

Haldir shrugged.

"Where to start…" he pondered. "Well, in any case, I always had a… um… obsession with fire, putting it gently."

"You don't say?" Haldir said sarcastically.

"I never tried to keep it secret," Sauron shot back. "Anyways, I don't have any idea how I figured it out, but somewhere down the line I made fireworks, though they were junk to begin with. I got there eventually. But then this one time I tried something really weird with them. Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking. So I tried to send this one off once, only it did not work well and only went up like ten feet before falling down again."

Haldir raised a brow at this. "Well, go on."

"While it did not go up very much, it went a ways," Sauron reflected, as though trying to find something good in a bad situation. "Unfortunately, it happened to go right into Yavanna's favorite part of the garden and blew up about a fourth of it."

Haldir instantly smiled. "Really?"

"Yup. And so that is how I figured out the basics of destructive explosives. It also happened to be around that time that I learned about gardening."

Before then Haldir had been laughing softly, however now he just did so outright. "What?!" he asked, controlling his laughs long enough to speak.

"Obviously, Yavanna wasn't very happy with me. Well… yeah, she was downright mad. Aule managed to smooth it over a bit, yet to make up for it, I had to go and help her fix everything. It was useful after a while though; I used a lot of it in planning out the crops that I made my slaves farm. Sometimes it's interesting what things will come in handy later on down the road."

"There is just something very wrong with you going around and planting flowers, you know that?"  


"Hey, it wasn't just flowers," he said in defense. "Being part of the ainur, I didn't plant just flowers, okay. Give me a little credit here."

"Okay, sorry that I lessened your horticultural abilities, forgive me," he said, smiling.  


"I said you'd find it funny. I was right wasn't I?"

"Yes you were. That was quite amusing."

"I think it was that incident though which sparked my like of destruction. I didn't do anything about it for a while however."

"That's… nice?" Haldir said, unsure of any fitting response.

Elhith had gone off to his room to rummage around for the medicine, and now they had finally reached Sauron's room at the end of the hall.

Haldir went in and set the bags down on the bed. Interestingly, the cover gave off a small cloud of dust as a result.

Sauron blinked at this, and then looked at Haldir. "You guys haven not been in here at all, have you?"

"No."

"That's great…"

"Well for one thing you told us not to," Haldir pointed out.

"I did, that's right. I didn't mean it that literally though. I don't suppose you have anymore sheets or something so that I'm not just sleeping in dust?"

"Caring about something's condition now?"

"It's contagious, what can I say?"

"Fine," Haldir grumbled as he went out to find the asked for sheets.

By the time he got back, Elhith had apparently found what he had been looking for and had given it to Sauron, who was downing the small vial of only Elhith knew what. When he was finished Elhith went off again and Haldir tossed the sheets to Sauron.

Catching them, he frowned. "I have to do it?"

"Yes. I went and got them, I'm sure you are capable of putting them on the bed."

Sauron sighed. "Ah, it's so good to be home."

"Oh, and we're so glad you're back."

For a moment he waited for the imminent retort, yet there was none. He turned back and found Sauron merely smiling cheesily. "I'm sure you are, considering how many lovely plans I have for future excursions. Now g'night Haldir."

Although left with this less than encouraging thought, Haldir did not see anything else he could really do about the matter at the time other than sleep. Might not do much to keep Sauron from formulating his plans, but it'd keep Haldir from falling asleep while he tried to go pull them off.

*****

That was a hard chapter. Seriously. So… much… time… passed!! That really bothered me. But I couldn't keep going at the current rate. And I have a plan, a plan, a plan, and I had to get there. So no other choice. Tell me what you think!


	24. Negotiation

Sooooooo sorry, I really am. We started a poetry unit in my English class and that has pretty much sucked me dry of my creative fluids. I hardly have enough of that to get by for the stupid poems!! We do like 2 a week, and it is a lot more than it sounds like once you get all the requirements in. I truly am sorry that this took like a month. Baaaad Frotu. This short thing is the best I could do for you guys at the moment. But I get out of school in less than a month, so then I shall be free!! Then the chapters will role out faster. Okay?

My beautiful reviewers, you make me smile!!

Elderberry: Well, so far so good -- the spoof hasn't been pulled down yet. Yet. Hopefully it won't. I don't know about them ganging up on Elhith. He's such a nice egg… but we'll see.

GollumRox: Hehhh… that's funnay. I think that Thu is really hurt that you turned him down to floss your otter. He's crushed. He hasn't blown up any birds or squirrels in a long time. 

AAAClub: You must not know the plan for if you do you shall not be surprised!! And surprise is the storyteller's favorite part! Muehehehehe!!! I did use savvy. And I apologize that I didn't update soon. 

Twister Mary Sue: Well jeez, don't brag about it!! I had to have somebody okay the plan plan plan anyways… but… yeah. Monty Python rocks.

Ruler-of-Da-World: Sauron's just a scheming sort of bloke isn't he? Elhith just feels like the character that has to be around to take care of Haldir and Sauron. Poor guy. Anywho, may I add a thank you for the stuff you read from the book? That was spiffy. Somehow I soaked up the obsession with order somewhere down the line… I have way too much brain space used up on trivial things like that. But it's weird, eh? Normally the bad dudes are all about chaos… oh well. And YES, I know how long it took and I feel bad!! That's why I had to put up at least this crappy chapter!! The next chapter will be better! I'll try to work on it this weekend! Okay!? : (

Carmen: We're just never gonna get you over the eye thing, are we dear? You're stuck in the world of flaming eyeballness forever I believe. You know, you're like the only bud from here that still reads this? You get like a thousand bonus points.

pherhyandoiel: I'm glad that the chapter seemed to come at the right time! That's always good!

XNemesis: Ainur are cool. Mhm. Spiffay stuff! And that's creepy about the bong water. It is my experience that anywhere that you would have many people speaking Spanish is not a good place to drink any sort of water. Having lived in Arizona, I learned that some water shouldn't be given to animals…

Just Curious: Hello!!! Glad you like it, I try to make it entertaining! And yes, there will be a reunion soon, so there is your hint. I do try very hard to get facts straight, so having somebody appreciate that is very nice! And of course Sauron can't be a perfect little angel in the end. That's like… too twisted and wrong for words. 

Poo: You're a fast reader, you'll get there. I have all the faith in the world.

AzureDragoness: Well did you realize that Scoops are metal and Spatulas tend to be wood and plastic? Muahahaha!! Yeah, and I'm very sorry if this chapter is not enough, but it is all I can do at the moment. If you want to come and destroy me for taking so long, just note that I won't be able to write any at all after that… And walls are terrible. They jump out of nowhere and attack you!

Spoofmaster: So the names were good then aye?

Kit Cloudkicker: Amen to that.

Feagliniel: Sauron and Gandalf should have a firework fight! Hahaha… or not. Sorry, I've seen Zoolander a few too many times I guess. I rode a horse once for two hours and that was bad enough!! That in itself was a bit stupid on my part I think… and yes, while Elhith is too nice to him, he's just too nice period. He can't help it!!

Phew! I think I finished that! I promise promise promise to do better. And I can promise that because the year is gonna start wrapping up soon with finals coming, so the homework load should ease off. Ahh… summer. Mmmm... Anyways, here's the lame old tiny chapter! 

:::::::::::::

Obviously he had thought way too quickly when he had decided that perhaps Sauron had changed a bit. It had been a simple mistake to make however; he hadn't done anything really terrible for the last three weeks. In that amount of time it would have been easy to forget the remark he had made the night of his return.

So now Haldir was sitting in the kitchen, very perturbed. That morning he had been in an alright mood, all things considered, but ever since he had sat down at the table his mood had instantly soured.

He was stuck to the table.

Yes. He was stuck to the table. His leg was irrevocably latched to it at the moment by some strange looking device. 

While he wasn't sure how everything had worked, he did know how he got in the present situation. The root of the problem was sitting in front of him.

Haldir sighed and set his chin in his hand. "And what is this for?" he asked, pulling at his leg for the roughly three inches it would go and listening to the clunk of the metal against the wood table leg.

"I need to ask for a favor," Sauron said.

"You know, normally when a person wants a favor, they don't go about it by LOCKING PEOPLE TO TABLES!" he seethed, yanking at the thing again for emphasis.

While he did wince slightly, Sauron shrugged. "I don't have very good negotiation skills, I know. See normally for me my negotiations work by making an offer that, if refused, is countered by me sending out a massive army to crush those who denied the offer. So, considering the luck that I had last time trying to negotiate with you, I decided to act in a way that was closer to my normal means of operation."

"And how do you think that this will get me to cooperate with your little scheme?"

Sauron did not answer but walked over to the counter, picking up a large plate piled with food. "Elhith had to leave early today," he began, sitting back down at the table and picking through the food while at the same time seeming to try and suppress what was turning out to be a pretty demonic grin. "He said that somebody who normally ran one of the ships that brings the people from Mandos to here was going to be gone for a couple of days and so he needed to fill in," he concluded through a mouthful of food.

"That is disgusting," Haldir said. "I am sure somewhere you have a store of manners that you could drag out."

Sauron looked at him for a moment. Then he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, displaying all of the half chewed food.

Haldir cringed, and then sighed. "Should have seen that coming," he lamented.

Meanwhile Sauron swallowed and then continued. "Anyways, since he's going to be out of town, it's just going to be you and me for the next couple of days."

Seemingly done with his little speech to let Haldir figure out the unsaid parts of it, Sauron now leaned back on the hind legs of the chair while continuing to chow down on more of the food.

Haldir groaned and let his arms fall down on the table with a loud slap. It just wasn't fair. 

And to make matters worse, the food smelled really good right then and he was actually pretty hungry. Even that unpleasant display a little bit ago hadn't made the fact that his stomach was complaining loudly go away.

"Want some?" Sauron asked, holding the tray out within reach of Haldir.

Haldir looked at him suspiciously.

"Come on now, it is not like I can let you starve. I would get in tons of trouble for that, which would be a pity since I have recently been getting some amount of standings around here."

Slowly Haldir put one hand out to take something off it, but the platter was pulled away abruptly. Sauron let the front legs of the chair come down with a clap.

"So I won't let you starve, I will just keep you painfully hungry. That is, unless you agree to take me where I want to go."

"How about you unlock me from the chair and I take you where you want to go?"

Sauron waved his hand at the statement. "I was planning on it. Agree?"

"Well, actually, I'd like to know where it is that I'm agreeing to take you to first."

"Oh, well, you would, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"I need to go out to the beach."

Haldir frowned at this, trying to see how that worked exactly. "So, you are _wanting _me to take you near a large body of water?" he said slowly.

"Not so much wanting, but I need to."

"Why?"

"I need to talk to Osse."

Haldir paused. "Again, why?"

"Because I do."

"When will you figure out that 'because' will never work as a reason?"

Sauron's grin was gone by now. "You are so frustrating, you know that? How did you live as long as you did? Did you get a lot of death threats or anything?"

"Actually I didn't get any. And I'm sure that I'm not nearly as frustrating as you are."

Sauron took a second to figure out a comeback, but he got one. "Well I guess I win in something else, don't I?"

Haldir shook his head. "You have such a warped view of everything. Anyways though, before we get completely off of topic, what are you wanting to talk to Osse about?"

"I'm just wanting to set up some relations with people, you know, get along and all that stuff." Sauron finished with an expression that would have been sincere on anybody else, but since it was Sauron Haldir instantly distrusted it.

"And the first person you want to set this up with is somebody who spends about all of their time in the water?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Well, actually you see, we have some things in common," Sauron replied.

"How so?"

"Mmm… well, we both have a bit of an interest in violence and stuff like that."

"Oh _great_! Now I'm really gonna take you there!" Haldir said in exasperation.

Sauron got up and leaned over the table. "You don't seem to be in much of a position to say no to taking me! You're locked to this table, and unless you want to become really good friends with it over the next couple days, you are going to take me!"

"Fine, I'll be friends with the table! Go see if I care!"

"Fine!"

Sauron then stormed out of the kitchen, and Haldir, unable to do any such thing considering the state he was currently in, contented himself with yanking at the device on his leg in frustration. 

Not long after that however Sauron came back to the kitchen and grabbed the plate from the table. After giving Haldir a very snooty look, he marched back out again. All the same however, it really ruined his exit.

Haldir had gone without eating for a while before and figured that he would be able to take going on for the rest of the day. 

So for the rest of the day he went on, and although he was hungry it wasn't anything terrible. What was really bad was that he got very bored of looking around the kitchen. That and he had to go to the bathroom.

Occasionally Sauron would come by and casually scoff at him. Haldir ignored him for the most part until that afternoon when it was getting close to where he did not have any choice. He was going to have to give in.

When Sauron came by the next time after that he called him in. "I give up. I'll go. Just tomorrow, okay?"

With a triumphant grin, Sauron nodded.

"Okay, get me out of this thing."

Sauron came over, taking out a key out of his pocket and then unlocking the shackle like thing around Haldir's leg.

"Where did you get that anyways?" Haldir asked as he stood up for the first time in hours, the room spinning immediately.

"I made it."

"Oh, of course you would have. And I suppose it was a secret thing that nobody else knew about and that you weren't supposed to make?"

"Yup."

"Great, I wouldn't have expected any less," Haldir said with a sigh.

He grabbed a couple fruits out of a basket on the counter and then made his way upstairs without another word. However Sauron followed behind him and quickly spoke up.

"So tomorrow then?"

"Yes, tomorrow."

"Early?"

Haldir rolled his eyes. "I have a feeling that even if I wanted to go later in the day that it would not matter at all. You would still probably steal my sheets or something annoying like that whenever it was that you were good and ready to head out."

"That's a pretty fair assessment," Sauron consented.

"I knew it would be."

"So what are you doing now?"

"I'm going to sleep."

Even though he was turned away, Haldir could tell that Sauron was having trouble with that and needed to figure something out about it for some reason.

"But, it's still light out," he pointed out finally.

Haldir smirked, yet at the same time he was a bit bothered by how remarkably like a child Sauron acted at times. Such a comment was something that Haldir was sure he had heard Rumil or Orophin say somewhere down the line when he had watched them when they had been little.

"I know it is still light out, but if you don't want me to be crabby all day tomorrow because I didn't get to sleep as much as I wanted, then I need to go to bed early tonight."

"Oh," was the only reply.

And that finished it. While there was now a certain amount of peace, it was probably being paid at a higher price than he could understand at the moment, or so Haldir figured as he munched on one of the fruits. Yet at that time he was a bit too tired to really care.


	25. Off to Osse's We Go!

Looks in at fanfic and tries to run off, only to be pushed back in Eh… hello. Been a while hm? nervous laughter I'm really sorry, truly I am. I thought that school would have slowed down there at the end, but I think it only got worse. There was homework and crap pretty much up till last Friday when we had our first final. Then I had to study and all that crap… you understand right? But to try and make it up, I worked on this huge chapter like all week. After studying for finals of course. I just got out of school Wednesday! But now that I'm free and because they story is getting fun to write again, expect more timely updates. Okay? Forgive me? I've been up till like 2 in the morning the last couple nights working on it! puppy eyes… and hey, I'm the FROTU, come on

Okay, reviews, you spiffy people you. May you never be attacked by camel spiders.

Carmen: Ah… weeeell, actually not much happens around the water. Other stuff happens though. Heh.

AAAClub: Please don't send your mini Balrog on me. That I should think would impair my ability to write the fanfic and that would make it take a long time to update. I am sorry this took so long though.

AzureDragoness: Ugh… I would have told her to shove the poetry, but that might not be good for my grade would it? I mean, the thing wasn't that bad… okay it was… but I handled it. I got to be spiffy and write a poem about Thu though snickers insanely in a corner and then comes back completely composed That's interesting about your spatula. I still think my scoop could take you on though! Actually I have no idea how you would have a fight with a spatula and ice cream scoop.

Ruler-of-Da-World: Well Sauron's like always up to something, so what's new? Monty Python rocks! We got to watch a bit of it after our Latin final. Heavens I was glad for that… I mean, it was followed by two hours of ALGEBRA TWO!! DUN DUN DUN!! That was ugly.

Oompa Loompa blah blah…: You are full of bakunka. Bloo!

Feagliniel: The irony of a skunk being called flower. And you know, love is what the world needs now. realizes that that caffeine is finally kicking in Mueheh. Dark corners are very nice, but dangerous you know. Oh, and you'll get to see all of Sauron's people skills here. Muah. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the chapter and the actually semi-serious scene that occurs, this is not a gut laughing chapter. …I used to destroy crayons. Does that make me a bad person?

Black Thundr44: Oh yeah, subtle as it comes. …Or maybe he just doesn't give a crap around Haldir if he's being subtle or not…?

Pherhyandoiel: Glad you enjoyed. I hope you enjoy this one too.

XNemesis: Yup yup Osse! Happy dances are nice. Gets the blood flowing and all that. …ONE BLEEDING COMMA? Come on now! If you haven't realized it by now, I write these chapters in the wee hours, normally when my rational brain has shut down and left only the voices who also double as muses. However these voices know nothing about proper syntax or punctuation. Therefore I wouldn't be surprised that when I look at this chapter tomorrow that I'll find numerous mistakes. But I'm past caring really. MUAHAHA! So, yeah.

Kit Cloudkicker: Oh they do, don't they?

Ahhhhhhh… yeah. I had something I was going to say but I don't know now. …This chapter is like 25 pages long. So be happy and stuff. Sorry if it isn't a hoot, but it is supposed to be sorta bringing around a lot of the plot things for later, so it couldn't be helped. There you have it!

:::::

Haldir was up before Sauron the next morning. Not that it had really been anything of a choice; Haldir hadn't slept at all the night before.

After having dozed off lightly a couple of times, he finally had just given up somewhere in the very early morning. Staring at the ceiling had not been amusing in any sort of way, so he figured that he could at least try to do something productive.

Thus he had dragged his sorry, not to mention very tired, behind out of bed and got changed quickly before trudging downstairs.

And there he had been for the last few hours.

Finally however he heard feet upon the stairs and picked his head up off the table. A moment later Sauron appeared around the corner, coming into the kitchen with an expression amazingly scowl-less. That was until he noticed that Haldir was there and his face instantly dropped into its usual appearance. "What are you doing down here already?" he asked. "I'm always the first one up."

"I couldn't sleep," Haldir drawled out.

Sauron raised a brow. "And in saying that you couldn't sleep, does this mean that you just couldn't fall back to sleep and so got up or that you didn't go to sleep at all?"

"None. At all."

"Well, that would explain why you look like the living-dead," Sauron reasoned.

Haldir groaned. "Is it really that bad?"

Sauron considered him for a moment. "No, not really. But it does look like you didn't sleep at all."

"Ugh," Haldir mumbled, pulling his hands down his face. "I'm not fit to see a maia today."

At this Sauron frowned even more, taking on a very indignant stance. "And just what am I then, hm?"

Haldir looked up at him sleepily and shrugged. "You don't count."

"I do too count! You didn't even see the ocean until we were sailing from Mandos to here, so why would Osse matter to you at all?"

"How do you know that I never saw the ocean?" Haldir asked.

"Because I could tell."

"And how could you tell?"

"I might have sorted through your thoughts a bit while we were walking here from the docks after we got out of Mandos."

"What?!" Haldir cried, just awake enough to be shocked at this new revelation.

"I was bored. They wouldn't let me talk," Sauron said as though it was some type of defense that would actually work.

"Why did you do that to me though? Why not one of the others?"

"I never said that I didn't dig into their thoughts a bit too, did I?" He paused for a second and looked behind him as though to make sure that nobody else was about - which of course there wasn't - then said, "Let me tell you, Elhith has done some pretty bad stuff, considering who he always appears to be."

"Don't tell me! That's not fair! You don't go snooping around in people's thoughts!"

"Well _you _don't, obviously. I haven't been able to do that for over a year now, ever since _they _took away any power I had that would give me an advantage over you."

"It's clear why they did that though. Nobody should do stuff like that, it just isn't right!"

Sauron raised a brow. "…You do realize that 'right' isn't really a word that has ever mattered much to me, don't you?"

Haldir sighed. "So you know that I hadn't seen the ocean. I'm guessing that you didn't just pick up stupid things like that."

There was a long pause.

"Okay, what are you getting at?" Sauron asked finally. "I know you're tired, but just say what you mean and don't beat around the bush."

"How much dirt did you dig up," Haldir said, figuring that it was a terse enough answer.

After a nod, Sauron answered. "Enough to give me things to blackmail you about for a good while. I was a bit surprised; you were worse than I ever would have given you credit for. At least until you got that sister. Then you went all noble and boring."

"That's… nice to know," Haldir said.

"Anyways, why would Osse count as a maia when he's always around the sea and so you have no reason to think he counts, and yet when you were alive in Middle Earth I would have been a threat and yet I don't count."

"You just don't."

"You doesn't answer my question though!"

"I don't think you'd like the answer, so I'm keeping it to myself."

Sauron narrowed his eyes. "Why wouldn't I like the answer?"

"Because I just don't think you would," Haldir replied as he heaved himself up out of the chair.

"Tell me."

"No."

"Come on, why does he count and I don't?"

Haldir shook his head as he made his way out of the kitchen. Now that Sauron was up he figured that he'd get ready the rest of the way so that they could leave soon and get this whole thing over with.

Sauron however followed him up. "I want to know."

"And I don't want to tell you," Haldir droned.

"Why not?"

"I already told you that."

"But that wasn't any sort of explanation. It doesn't count."

"Of course it does. Now see, we're even- you think something counts that I don't think counts, and I think something counts that you don't think counts. Can you drop it?"

"Not really. Come on, just say it."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Meh," Haldir said, deciding just to stop talking as he went into his room and shut the door in Sauron's face.

Haldir heard Sauron make a sound of frustration from outside the door, but ignored it. He sat on his bed and began to braid his hair back in silence, his mind completely blank from his lack of rest.

Then he heard Sauron speak, although his voice was slightly muffled by the door. "Just say it, you sissy little elf. Why don't I count?"

Haldir didn't reply. Being called a sissy elf did not bother him especially.

"Do you just think that I will get mad at what you say and hammer you into a bloody pulp in a corner or something?"

Contemplating the suggestion for a minute, Haldir figured that it was probably pretty close to the truth.

"Oh, so you are admitting that I could completely beat you up?"

Haldir dropped his braid. It was finished anyways. Slowly he got up off the bed and went to the door, opening it to a very annoyed Sauron. Looking at him, Haldir could think of nothing he would rather do than punch him square in the nose.

Even with how tired he was, the rational part of his mind piped up that it would be better to suppress that desire as he really had no idea whether Sauron could beat him into a bloody pulp in a corner or not.

Today it wouldn't even be a contest though as simply walking had been a fight unto itself.

"You do not count because you cannot do anything besides what I can do. So you're not special. Happy now?"

Having said all that he was going to, he closed the door again.

"Not especially," Sauron replied quietly through the door after a moment.

Haldir did not really take any mind to what Sauron had said though until he heard a thud against the wall.

He paused in mid-step and turned back, opening the door after a moment and peaking into the hall. Sauron had his head resting against it, which Haldir supposed would explain the bang he heard a moment before. What didn't get explained was why he had done it.

"What was that for?" Haldir instantly asked.

"You're right."

Haldir didn't know if he had heard correctly. "Come again?"

"You're right," Sauron repeated, walking down the hall. "I don't count."

At this point it was hard to tell if this was really a good thing. Normally there wouldn't be any question, but Haldir had a feeling that perhaps it wasn't as good as he would have thought.

"Why are you giving in so easily? Even on the rare occasion that you thought I was right you still argued just for the sake of arguing."

Sauron shrugged.

Now Haldir decided that this really wasn't a good thing. He could sense this whole brooding air coming off Sauron in waves. And letting him go off into his own little world for long amounts of time was definitely never anything positive.

So basically it came to choosing the less of two evils. Either he could get away with not having to go see Osse for a reason that he was sure was less than good, or he could risk whatever things Sauron would get into by being left to his own devices.

Sadly, he figured that going and seeing Osse would probably be better. At least then there was a chance that whatever Sauron's plans were would be ruined before they ever were really made.

"What are you planning on doing now?"

"I don't know."

"Changed your mind about seeing Osse then?"

There was a moment of silence and Sauron paused. "I don't think it'd do any good," he said slowly.

"Why?"

"Because nothing I do works out anyways."

"That's true. You are a pretty poor planner."

Although he would not have admitted it, Haldir did not believe that Sauron was actually bad at planning things out. He just thought that perhaps if he said that that Sauron might get into one of those "well I'll show you" sort of moods.

Sauron did turn to him at his words. "I'm a poor planner?" he asked slowly.

"Apparently. I mean, if you were organized, they would probably work better wouldn't they?"

And that was all that it took.

"I am organized!" he said, crossing his arms. "You have no idea how much having things messed up bothers me."

"Well it can't be much as you went around with messed up hair."

"Will you just get off the hair? Jeez, seriously. That's completely irrelevant to the topic. My plans fail because of oversights."

"Which occur because you don't think the whole thing through."

"No! It's because things which I hadn't taken into consideration come up."

"They were things that you probably should have taken into consideration."

"I doubt that you would have if you had been in those situations."

"If you say so."

Sauron looked just a bit cross. "Okay, fine. We're going to see Osse, and if my plan does not work it isn't because I failed to notice an issue which could ruin it. It's because some things are just out of my control at the moment and there was not anything I could do about it."

With that he stormed down the stairs, Haldir right behind him. It was probably the first time he had actually been pleased that Sauron had gotten mad about something. Hopefully be the last too.

When they got down, Sauron instantly went towards the door, but Haldir stopped him. "You can't just go rushing out like that," Haldir piped up.

"Why not?" Sauron griped.

"Just hold up a second."

Haldir dashed into the kitchen quickly and pulled the small box of money out from one of the cupboards. Not wanting to take the time to count it, he just grabbed a handful and shoved it in a pocket before hurrying back to the door.

"So do you have any idea where you are going?" he finally asked as he turned the corner to the entryway.

Sauron's hand hovered over the handle of the door for a second, but then turned it. "No. At least, not yet."

"Oh great," Haldir said, trying to remind himself that this would probably be better than the alternative.

They went down the streets towards the main road in silence. At that time there was almost nobody out, just a few scattered people every once and a while. As Haldir yawned, he figured that everybody must just be acting sanely and were still asleep at that hour.

After walking for a while, they finally they came to the edge of Valmar. One last gate stood in front of them. Seeing this, Haldir was suddenly hit with a thought.

"We're going to the docks first, aren't we?"

Sauron nodded. "Yes, I figured that it would be the best place to start."

Haldir stopped in the road, thinking. It took Sauron a moment to realize that he wasn't following anymore, but when he did he stopped too. "What?"

"It will take a couple hours to get there and then a couple more to get back," he thought aloud.

"Yes, more than likely. Now come on."

Haldir did not listen and continued to muse quietly. "Who knows how long it will take us to find him from there."

Sighing, Sauron walked back towards him. "What are you getting at?"

"I think," Haldir began slowly, "that we should get horses."

"Ugh! No!" Sauron instantly exclaimed, cringing. "Why ever would I do that?"

"I don't want to have to stay somewhere else over night, and I don't want to be walking in the dark. Therefore, we need to get there quicker than we would on foot, and the only way to do that would be to ride horses."

"I hate horses though," Sauron complained.

"You know, you are not making a very good case for yourself with having things planned out by having a snag in the plan like half an hour in."

"Well I had planned on you being able to walk at night. See, that you won't or can't or whatever is out of my control. There isn't anything that I can do about that."

"Okay, so now you have a problem and there is only one way to fix it."

After giving a very unhappy frown, Sauron conceded. "Fine."

They backtracked a bit and with very little search found a stable. Sauron stayed outside while Haldir went in and bargained a bit with the owner. Within a minute they had settled a deal and the elf had led Haldir back out to get the horses.

Sauron had fallen into step behind Haldir silently. The owner pointed them to the stable, where another person had shown them which horses they would have. While there was something that the hand needed to see to at the moment, he said that if they needed any help that he would be around the corner.

With that Haldir and Sauron were left in the stable before the pens of their horses.

Haldir instantly went in and led his horse out. On the other hand, Sauron stood staring at his like it was some evil obstacle that he was not sure how to get around.

"Come on, get over it. We won't be riding for eight hours straight so you have no reason to be freaking out."

Sauron didn't move, but answered. "I'm not freaking out. I just don't like it. Stupid horse."

The horse just stared back at him.

"The horse never did anything to you. You should just be grateful that for some reason it hasn't picked up on your evil soul and decided that it doesn't like you."

Sauron shot him a look but did not reply.

"Just get it and let's go before I decide that this whole thing is pointless," Haldir said exasperatedly.

Reluctantly Sauron opened the gate. "It doesn't have a saddle," he pointed out, looking back over his shoulder at Haldir.

"No, normally we don't ride them that way," Haldir replied, leading his horse out of the stable.

"Great," Sauron muttered as he grabbed the reigns and led the horse out too.

Haldir smirked as he mounted. "Remember, if I can do it, that means that you can too."

Considering that for a moment, Sauron shrugged. "If you say so."

Haldir held back a laugh as Sauron made his slightly less than graceful - yet still a bit more than Haldir thought it would have been - mount. After clutching to the reins for a moment, he seemed to relax a bit and looked at Haldir.

Figuring that he expected him to do something, Haldir spoke. "What? You're the leader. I'm just coming along because I don't have a choice."

Sauron muttered something to himself quietly and nudged the horse forward, Haldir not far behind.

All things considered, Haldir enjoyed the ride very much. It was sunny yet not hot, which wasn't much of a surprise as the temperature there seemed as though it never really changed. Everything was, as always, in its perpetual state of spring, and considering that Haldir had not truly left the limits of Valmar for a year, he found that he liked it very much. What it was like in the open and the woods had become a distant memory, and it was pleasant to experience it again.

Sauron didn't speak a word the whole time, seeming quite content to focus on keeping himself on the horse. That Haldir found to be an additional comfort. Having to bicker the whole way would have just completely ruined the scenery.

It was likely an hour or so before noon when Haldir could finally hear the sounds of gulls. His ears pricked a bit at the noise, but he brushed off the effects immediately. As he was quite happy with his present situation… or at least he had been for nearly the last year… he didn't really want to feel the need to go and sit by the sea for hours on end and all that stuff.

Sauron's expression was steadily turning more sour as they went and the sounds of the ocean became clearer and more numerous. Again Haldir couldn't help but wonder exactly what it was that he was up to. Might have been a good thing to implore a bit into the subject before they had left.

Finally the trees broke apart and they saw the haven spread before them. Now at midday it was very busy, small boats flitting across the bay while larger ones slowly came to port. Haldir was a bit surprised that looking at it now he could not recall anything about it. He knew that he had been there, and remembered walking the docks, but it didn't seem as though it had truly happened.

Maybe it was because his brain had had to process a lot the day they had arrived.

As they went further, Haldir shook free of his thoughts. "Now where?" he asked, looking at the expansive city and harborage laying before them.

"I already told you that I don't know," Sauron remarked automatically.

"Then what are we going to do?"

"Look for things."

"Such as?"

Sauron shook his head slightly. "Well, what things would you look for if you were searching for a maia who loves water?"

"…Water…" Haldir said slowly.

"Besides the obvious!" Sauron exclaimed.

"Um…" How was he supposed to know?

With a sigh which more or less implied that Haldir was hopeless, Sauron explained. "We're probably going to be looking right on the water front. We're also probably going to be looking at a building that is larger than most and has many people around it. Agreed?"

"…Sure," Haldir replied. Again, how was he supposed to know?

There was no answer to this, and so Haldir decided to be quiet. He'd just let Sauron do the work and figure out where they needed to go and he'd just go off into his own thoughts. If Sauron just ended up getting lost… then he might pay a bit more attention. Not that his attention would really help in that area.

So they went through the city, slowly making their way towards the shore. It was there, when they had gotten close to the docks, that Haldir had an epiphany.

"We should ask one of the shipwrights, or a sailor," he said suddenly.

"Yes, that would probably be a good idea."

There was a pause, and when Sauron did not appear to have any inclination of actually going and asking anybody, Haldir piped up again. "Well?"

"Well what?" Sauron asked, looking back at him momentarily.

"Aren't you going to ask?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not something I do."

"…You've asked me stuff before."

"That's different. I can ask people I know things, occasionally, but I don't go and ask strangers questions."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to get into it."

"Why not?"

"And you say I'm immature!" Sauron looking back at him again with an expression of amazement. "'Why not?' 'Why not?' 'Why not?'" he mocked, raising his voice to an annoyingly high pitch. "It's like playing twenty questions or something… only you're always asking the same one."

"Jeez, testy," Haldir replied, quite untouched. Although to tell the truth it had been slightly amusing to listen to Sauron do a falsetto.

"I don't ask random people questions because I do not know enough of their character to believe or discredit what they say."

"So does that mean you trust me?" Haldir replied sarcastically. "I'm so touched. It's like a bonding moment."

"Oh please," Sauron muttered. "I just have been able to figure out enough of your mannerisms and nature to have a good idea of what I can accept or not. With other people I haven't had the opportunity."

"You are much too paranoid," Haldir said sadly. "It's like you think the whole world is out to get you."

Unfortunately, he only realized the truth of his words _after _he had said them. He never really had been one to think overly much before he spoke.

As expected, Sauron gave him a look.

"Okay, so the whole world would be out to get you if they knew who you were. But the thing is that they do _not _know who you really are, and therefore they can't be after you. They don't have any reason to. That is unless you give them one."

"Do you ever consider what you are going to say before you spout it off to the world?"

"Not really."

"I didn't think so. That being the case, just be quite and look."

"I still don't know what I'm looking for."

"Then just be quite and pretend that you are looking. Let me concentrate at least."

"Alright."

The narrow roads got busier as they went, and Haldir figured that they had better find a stable to leave the horses in as the roads didn't really seem to be made with the thought of having horses in them. When they came to a small corral, Haldir made the suggestion to Sauron, whose quick acceptance of it made it obvious that he still wasn't comfortable being high in the saddle.

Again he bargained and within minutes the horses were in the corral with a few others. Haldir felt pretty proud of himself and all of these negotiation he had handled all in one day. Granted, the people had been pretty willing to make a deal, but still. He hadn't done so for many years.

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Haldir asked Sauron when they started walking again.

"I'm not going to talk too soon. Ask me when we get back."

Well, even if he hadn't said that it was not bad, he hadn't said it had been, so that counted for something.

They made their way through the crowds, finally coming to a road that ran along the edge of the city and the sea. Considering that they couldn't get any closer to the ocean than that, it seemed like a pretty good place to start.

At least it had for the first hour and a half.

A little after noon Haldir's stomach had complained enough that he thought it necessary to eat something. While Sauron had begged to differ, Haldir told him that if they didn't get something to eat and rethink their plan that he would just turn right around and head back home. That had seemed to be a good enough reason.

Thus they were now sitting in the corner of an inn, Haldir snarfing down the meal in front of him while Sauron picked slowly at his. Apparently he hadn't truly gotten into the eating thing yet. In the last couple weeks he had at least eaten one meal a day, usually two. It seemed that he just ate when the thought entered his mind or when he couldn't ignore the fact that he was hungry. While he was still a lot thinner than he probably should have been, it wasn't quite to the 'disturbingly' so level anymore.

"So," Haldir said between mouthfuls, "what do we do now?"

"The road hasn't ended yet. We still have a ways we can go on it," Sauron replied as he chased peas around his plate with a fork.

After watching what he was doing for a minute and then shaking his head sadly at the reinforcement of his believe that Sauron hadn't really matured at all, Haldir spoke again. "The road is getting old. I just want to know where we have to go and go there and get it done."

"We've gone over this I believe."

"Do you want me to ask then?"

"No."

Haldir frowned, pushing his plate away thoughtfully. A moment later a woman came over and picked up his plate, but before she left he cleared his throat. She looked back at him. "If we were looking for Osse, where should we go?"

She smiled. "You're very close. Just follow the road along for another ten minutes or so, and then there will be one that branches off to the left. He's down that one."

"Thank you."

With a quick nod, she hurried off again.

"Well, that was easy enough," Haldir said smiling.

Sauron, of course, was not smiling at all. "You just had to ask didn't you?"

"Well, it's not like we aren't going that way anyways. Now I know that we're not just walking around hopelessly."

"Couldn't leave well enough alone."

"Come on, don't be so glum. It's not going to do us any harm at all." He looked at Sauron's half-eaten meal. "You done?"

"I suppose."

"Good. Let's go then."

He quickly counted out the coins for their meals and they set out once more.

As the lady had said, after about ten minutes they found a road leading off the main one. While there had been others branching off, they had always been on the right side, going more inland. This was the first Haldir could remember seeing on the left.

They turned down the lane, passing between the buildings on either side to find that the road quickly became a bridge over the water to a small island not far out.

Haldir of course had no worries about this and continued to walk, glad that they wouldn't have to be searching anymore. Sauron, on the other hand, did not look nearly as comfortable, which was understandable and even expected. So when Haldir knew that Sauron was not a step or two behind him anymore, he did not stop but just called over his shoulder. "Come on, we're just about there."

Sauron did catch up, but walked cautiously along the middle, looking down onto the water that was lapping softly at the bridge.

After watching him for a second, Haldir sighed. "I have no idea what you think you're going to get done here considering that you can't even comfortably walk on a bridge."

"I'll be fine."

Haldir just rolled his eyes.

Not long after that they reached the other end, stopping before a tall silver gate. Two elves were standing just inside it and considered Haldir and Sauron, their faces completely expressionless. "What do you want?" the one on the left asked.

"We're here to see Osse," Sauron replied.

"What business do you have with him?"

"That will be between Osse and myself."

"Well then, what are your names?"

"This is Haldir, and I am…" For a moment he paused, but then in a strained voice continued. "…Iaewur. However that name won't mean anything to him."

"Then why do you not give us a name that will mean something?"

"I cannot say it."

The two elves exchanged glances, turning back to them with faces a bit more cold than they had been a moment before. "Why do you think that he will see you if you will not tell your business or your proper name?"

"If I could speak to him for a moment, he would know who I was."

Again the elves looked at each other, but then the one who had spoken the whole time nodded and the other opened the gate. "I will take you in, but you have but a minute. If he does not recognize you, then you will have to leave."

Sauron went in without replying, Haldir right behind him. One elf stayed behind, watching the gate, while the other led Sauron and Haldir forward.

A few yards away from the gate, the bridge ended. There was a high arch cut right into the rock of the island, which ended after a couple feet.

Once on the other side of the arch, Haldir found himself looking in on the most impressive building he had ever seen. There were pillars of white marble holding up the lofty roof, which really hardly seemed to be a roof at all considering all of the openings in it. Though these sea birds flew in and out, their cries slightly drowned out by the sound of water rushing and falling all around them. The openings also seemed to be the only way that light entered the dim hall as there was not a torch to be seen anywhere. That also made sense -- the large floor in front of them was more than half covered with pools while fountains could be spotted anywhere he looked. The place was just about literally swimming.

Sauron glanced about everything, a small grimace crossing his face. Again Haldir wondered why he was just about torturing himself and coming to that place. True, he thought that it was beautiful, but he knew that Sauron didn't think so.

As they walked along, Haldir noticed that there were also tons of people there, walking about the pools or sitting beside them, talking softly to one another.

Apparently Sauron noticed also. "There are so many people here, why would it be so odd for us to come also?" he asked the elf who was leading them.

"These people have a reason to be here that is known, or are of the Teleri." He looked back at Sauron for a moment, seeming to sum him up. "And somehow I doubt that you are of the Teleri. My guess would be Noldorin."

Sauron looked about to snap something back, but bit his lip. Haldir was actually quite impressed.

They turned down a small hallway to the side, coming to the door at the end. The elf knocked on the door. "My Lord?" he said.

"Yes?" a voice answered from inside.

"There are two elves here to see you."

Haldir glanced over at Sauron, who looked both perturbed and indignant. It had always been obvious that Sauron was not in any way, shape, or form happy about having to be on the same level as Haldir. On the few occasions when the fact that he did blend in so well with the rest of them had been brought up he had always been on the verge of flipping out. Since that had happened twice in the last few minutes, Haldir thought that he'd be in a really nasty mood. However, to Haldir's surprise, he quickly cleared his face of his glower and took on an almost pleasant expression.

Considering that Haldir hadn't been around him when he was that way much and since now he couldn't figure out why he would be doing so, it was a bit creepy really.

"Let them in."

The elf pulled open the door and motioned them in and then following in himself.

The room they were in now was not very wide but tall, a bit darker than the large area they had first came into since the ceiling was so high. There were some scattered chairs and tables and shelves filled with seashells and other various things. Haldir was instantly drawn to them as he had never seen anything like them before, but he restrained himself and followed behind Sauron towards the figure at the other side of the room.

Finally they were just a few feet away and stopped. The man, who could be no other than Osse, had extremely pale hair that almost seemed tinged with green in the dim light. He appeared to have his attention pretty focused on whatever he was doing. So they stood there.

It had been a couple rather uncomfortable moments when Sauron's patience seemed to run out. "Osse, I haven't all day here."

The elf looked at Sauron with a sort of shocked anger, however Sauron didn't seem to notice at all. He was looking down at Osse, tapping his foot slightly.

At his voice Osse paused as though trying to place it. Then suddenly he looked up.

"Well?" Sauron pressed.

Osse stared at him for a moment, unmoving. After simply sitting like that for a moment, he looked at the elf and nodded towards the door. Apparently even more shocked than he had been, the elf bowed and left, shutting the door behind him.

"What?" Osse said, almost to himself, curiosity shining out of his teal eyes.

"What?" Sauron repeated. "What sort of a response was that?"

Osse frowned thoughtfully. "I didn't think you were allowed to come out here."

"I'm not, unless Haldir comes along too," Sauron answered, taking a step to the side so that Osse could see Haldir.

Haldir smiled meekly.

"Silvan?" Osse asked, smiling slowly.

Haldir nodded.

"And how do you find the sea?"

Sauron took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Really, can this wait for another time perhaps?" he said, bringing Osse's attention back to him.

"Why have you come here? It's common knowledge that you have not been overly fond of the sea for many years now," Osse said coolly.

"You are awfully quick to come to conclusions," Sauron answered.

They both looked at each other for a moment, and then Osse leaned back in his chair. "Have a seat," he said, gesturing to some of the chairs around them.

Haldir silently did so, sitting in the chair closest to where he had stood. Sauron, on the other hand, opted for one nearer to Osse.

"Again, what brings you here?"

"I just wanted to talk, that's all."

Osse raised a brow. "To talk you say? You know, you can listen to the sound of your own voice wherever it is that you dwell now just as well as you can here."

Even with this remark, Sauron's expression remained unchanged. Haldir found it interesting that Sauron really could keep from scowling for so long.

"Talking to one's self is not nearly as satisfying as speaking to another though, don't you think?"

"Then you don't you talk to the elf, Haldir didn't you say?"

Both of them looked over at Haldir, which just about made him have a squirm fest. While he could handle Sauron's piercing gaze now, both he and Osse staring at him at once was a bit too much. It was rather uncomfortable to say the least.

Sauron looked away first, turning back to Osse. "But he does not understand everything as we understand it. He is of the Firstborn. We, on the other hand, are ainur. Yes, I could speak to him, but why would I wish to when there are those of the same order as myself living so near, whose thoughts are easier to identify with?"

Haldir was a bit surprised to notice that there was something very different about Sauron's voice now as he spoke. At first it had not been very apparent, but the more he listened the more he noticed it. There was a very subtle change to it, something that made it almost pleasant to listen to, as odd as the thought was for Haldir to get his mind around.

Osse did not answer. Sauron too leaned back, a flicker of a smile upon his face. "Is it really that strange that I should seek you out so that I may speak with you?" he prodded, the alluring undertone of his voice a bit stronger.

Slowly Osse replied. "I suppose not."

Haldir watched and listened silently, a bit amazed at how the conversation was unfolding. Already the cold demeanor that Osse had displayed was melting. And they had only been there a few minutes. He became a bit uneasy about what this could portend.

"And of all our people, who else should I wish to see besides you?"

For a second a spark of the distance Osse had shown moments ago resurfaced. "Ah, but why would you want to see me? Should not one of Aule's people be more fitting than I?"

Sauron did not look fazed in the least. "Perhaps in what hobbies we are more inclined to participate in we are different, that is correct. However in our ambitions are we truly so?" he said to soothe the momentary setback.

Osse seemed to consider his words, looking off distantly into the room.

"At a time did we not serve the same Vala?" Osse shot him a startled look, but Sauron pressed on. "Yes, you repented that decision perhaps, but it does not change the fact that at a time you made it and thought it the proper choice. We are very similar in that we both were after the same thing."

"But it was not for us," Osse protested weakly.

"No, perhaps not." Sauron stood up and walked around a bit, picking up some of the things from the shelves and looking at them. The last of these he held for a moment and turned back towards the room, looking at it carefully, running a finger along its intricate metalwork. "On a time did I not make this?" he asked.

While he seemed a bit surprised by the abrupt change of subject, he nodded. "Yes, in Almaren."

"I remember." Sauron slowly held it up to the dim light, turning it around to inspect all of the sides. His look was distant, obviously in the past. "It was the first shell that you had found," he said suddenly. "You wanted something around it to protect it, to ensure that it would not be broken as it was very fragile. Most of us were busy aiding Aule with the Lamps and so it would have been unlikely that any would be able to do so. But you asked me, and although I had work that I probably should have seen to, well… I'd always been the rebellious sort hadn't I?" He looked over at Osse and grinned.

Osse nodded again. "From the beginning almost."

"So I did as you requested." He softly set the shell back upon the shelf and sat down once more. "I am surprised that you still have it."

"As you said, it was the first shell that I had found. It was important."

"Yes, but it had also been worked upon by me, and not long after that I joined with the enemy."

To this statement Osse made no reply.

"Yet, perhaps…" Sauron said slowly, carefully observing Osse's posture and expression, "Perhaps rebellion is not always such a bad thing. That can be seen from this, can it not?"

"True, it was beneficial once. But then you rebelled to the point that no good could come from it."

"Yes, that is true. I was blinded by my desire for power and my wish to order things in a way that I thought would be most advantageous to all. Now I can see where I went wrong with that however."

Upon processing this last statement, Haldir instantly knew it was a lie. Sauron had not repented his ways in the least. There was no way that he thought what he had done was wrong. Knowing this, Haldir would have said something, only that beguiling tone in Sauron's voice had completely dissolved his ability to do so.

Even as Haldir came to his conclusion, Sauron glanced over at him, his face still appearing very sincere. However there was a momentary glint in his eyes that reinforced everything that Haldir had just thought.

Of course his attention did not remain on Haldir long. He turned back to Osse. "In the time I've been here, I have been able to think back on many things. Through this I have learned that I was mistaken in many of the beliefs I had. However I have no hope that any would believe me on this, and so I came to you. You are the only other here who had similar beliefs as me, even though long ago. You understand what I thought and why I thought it."

"What are you asking?" Osse inquired, his expression very grim.

"I'm asking you to help me regain my standings so that I can be as I was. You have no idea how humiliating it is to be degraded as I have by this, to be no more than of the Moriquendi."

Osse grinned slightly. "I can guess."

"Maybe, but I doubt that you would get close."

Now Osse was silent, evidently thinking very deeply about what had just been requested of him. Again Haldir wished that he could bring up the fact that Sauron was continuing his string of lies, but again he found himself incapable.

Yet just at that moment, when Osse seemed about to reply, there was knock on the door. "Come in," Osse said.

"I heard that two people called on you much earlier this afternoon," a female voice floated in from the shadows of the doorway. "I just came to see if there was anything I could --"

Her words abruptly stopped as she came further in the room and looked at the figures seated there. First she glanced at Haldir, then Osse, and lastly Sauron, who seemed to be the real reason for her sudden silence.

Sauron stood up and actually bowed slightly. "Uinen, you're as beautiful as ever," he said suavely.

It was one of the few things that Sauron had said that Haldir agreed upon, although he had no idea why Sauron would have ever voiced such a thing. Haldir thought that she was probably the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Well, except for perhaps Galadriel, but that was probably getting into just personal feelings there.

Uinen's face flushed at Sauron's comment, however by the way she held herself she was also quite angry. "What are you doing here?" she asked frostily.

"Visiting," Sauron answered.

"I would say please but as I don't think it means much to you, will you leave?"

"Why do you want me to go? I haven't done anything," he said, feigning innocence.

"I want you to leave, now," she said, and even though she did so softly and calmly, everything about her voice exuded authority.

"I-"

"Now."

Sauron looked at her for a moment more, and then nodded. "As you wish," he said, walking towards the door.

After digesting the scene before him, Haldir quickly got up and made to follow. Sauron was already at the door by this time, and had paused next to Uinen. Apparently he was talking to her, but since it was in such a soft whisper he couldn't even hear the words.

However then Sauron leaned back, smiling devilishly. Uinen just stared at him almost horrorstruck, and then slapped him hard across the face.

Osse must have gotten up at the same time that Haldir had and so was at his left when this occurred. Both of them stopped right where they were.

Sauron had his eyes squeezed shut and a hand against his jaw. Slowly he squinted one eye open and turned to look at Uinen.

She pointed dangerously at him and then spoke in that same deadly-quiet voice. "Don't you ever bring that up again, or so help me…"

And with that she promptly turned around and left the room.

Haldir could not help but glance over as Osse for a moment. He seemed to know that Haldir was looking at him and turned his way, shrugging.

By now Sauron was standing straightly again and no longer squinting, although his hand was still rubbing his jaw. "Well," he said slowly, "I suppose we had ought to go."

"Yes, I think that would be best," Osse answered, seeming to decide that he didn't want to know what had caused Uinen to act the way she had.

Sauron immediately left the room, walking swiftly down the hall. When he did so, Haldir began to follow, but Osse stopped him for a second. "Haldir?" he said, seeming to both be wondering if he had the right name and trying to get his attention.

"Yes?" Haldir said, pausing.

"Expect company soon."

Haldir frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Your family, they are making their way over the sea. They will be here in a day or two."

Still staring at him, Haldir tried to figure out what he was saying. And then it dawned on him. "My family? Here?"

Osse smiled slightly. "Yes. Expect them." He looked down the hall at the receding form of Sauron. "I would go now if you are supposed to be around him all the time."

Haldir looked down the hall and then nodded his head. "Thank you."

Osse just smiled again and then shut the door as Haldir hurried to catch up with Sauron.

By the time he did Sauron was already at the end of the arch. Haldir, in an amazing show of intelligence, was able to keep from asking as to what Sauron had said to Uinen. Yet, since he was terribly curious, it didn't mean that he would never ask. He'd just wait a bit.

Sauron marched out the gate without acknowledging the elves at all, so Haldir did so instead. Afterwards he wished he hadn't, as they had just glared suspiciously at him.

So they walked across the bridge to the road and then back to the corral. Haldir was glad that Sauron seemed to have a good memory for directions and that sort of thing. If it had been up to him, they probably would have ended up everywhere but the place they wanted to get to.

Sauron did not make any fuss at all when they got their horses and simply mounted and went off. While he had not said a word or given Haldir any death glares, it was obvious that he was peeved. Taking into consideration what had happened the last time he had made his presence known when Sauron had been mad, Haldir decided that he'd just tag along and be quiet for a while.

While the ride there had just been quiet, the ride back was disturbingly silent. Haldir felt terribly uncomfortable with it but did not have the nerve to speak. That was, until Sauron brought the whole thing up himself.

First he had smirked a bit, and then seemed about ready to laugh. However then he had glanced at Haldir and stifled it. "Well, that was interesting," he stated.

"Pardon?" Haldir asked. Interesting was not what he had thought he would say. Given a hundred guessed, interesting would not have been any of the words he'd suppose Sauron would say.

"I didn't think I'd even get as far as I did. I believe he would have actually spoken on my behalf before the Valar. Fancy that."

"So that was your whole grand scheme?" Haldir reflected on it for a moment, and then nodded. "I must say, it was pretty decent all things considered."

"You think so? It wasn't my best, just a sort of desperation attempt. If only Uinen had stayed out a bit longer, I could have had it." He frowned now about this, but then smiled again. "Good thing that I didn't have my hopes up on it at all. I always get things stolen away from me right when everything seems to be going my way. This wasn't any exception!"

Well, he was taking it a lot better than Haldir would have thought he would. Letting him have his space for a while had really paid off. Haldir put it in his mind for something to remember.

Since he seemed to be in a somewhat talkative mood, Haldir decided to take advantage of it. "How did you do that?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well when we first got there Osse wasn't really that happy to have you as company, but then at the end, as you said, he seemed about ready to grant your request. It was crazy sitting there listening to you, you're voice…" Haldir searched for the word but couldn't find it. "…You're voice just got different. It was strange."

"One of the tricks you learn when a major business of yours is sucking up to people and manipulating them to your purposes. Eloquent speaking becomes very important in that, as well as having a persuasive voice. I've had a lot of time to hone the skills."

"It was creepy."

Sauron shrugged. "To you, yes, I bet it was. Nothing I could have really done about that though, unless I was trying to trip you up in the whole thing too. That just would have taken too much energy though."

"Hm." Haldir rubbed the back of his neck thoughtful for a second, and then continued. "And what did you say to Uinen that made her… slap you and all," he asked quietly.

At this Sauron smiled even wider. It was so strange that the whole affair seemed to amuse him so much now, even when his attempt had failed. Maybe for once he was looking on the bright side of things and decided that the fact that he had gotten close counted a bit. "I just brought up something from long long ago that she probably didn't want to recall."

Haldir cocked an eyebrow. "Which would be…?"

Continuing to smile, Sauron rubbed his cheek, which even now still had a bright red mark across it. "Well you know, there was a time when I was considerably popular among my peers. During that I had once helped her with something, and afterwards she believed that she fancied me a bit."

Haldir blinked a couple of times, unable to believe that what he had just heard could really mean what he thought it meant. "No," he said, still unable to grasp it.

"Yes," Sauron mocked back at him. "See, she only thought she did. I knew she really didn't because it was painfully obvious to everybody that it'd be Osse and her in the end. Yet I couldn't really get it through her head for a while. Of course it went through her head when I left and became all 'evil' and stuff."

"Wow," was about all Haldir really felt he could say.

"So since she had come and bashed in on our party, I decided to remind her of that, which, as you saw, wasn't taken very well. From her standpoint, I mean, how embarrassing would that be? To have for a short time been overly fond of somebody who became a dark lord." At this point he came so close to laughing that he snorted once in his effort to keep from doing so.

Haldir just shook his head and tried to ignore the fact that he probably had the most deranged person in Arda riding a horse next to him.

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Well…? Decent maybe?


	26. The Dangers of Rolling Pins

See how good I did? That just took a bit over a week! You should all be so proud of me, considering that there is something else which I would like to be giving my creative attention to, yet I'm doing this… mainly since I won't be able to soon. Sorry! We are going to be on our 'Amazing Family Adventure!™' in a week or so I believe. After that we go to my grandma's, and I won't be back until the start of August. Considering that I'm pressed upon to spend family time there, I will not be able to be on the computer much at all. However, I might be able to get off one or two chapters in that time if I write them in a notebook and then get an hour or whatnot and type them up and post. We'll see though, so don't get your hopes up.

But for now, there is a chapter. I plan on making one more before I leave.

AzureDragoness: Well thank you. I'm glad it turned out, I was a bit nervous with it being less humorous as most, so it was especially nice to know that it was okay. And with my scoop, I always imagined it to be more of a club like thing, taking into consideration that it is very dull…

Darth T-Rex: Ooooh good, then I got at least my main objective in that chapter fulfilled if it did bring back to mind that he is not just a little pest, but still has that evil part lurking in him.

Spoofmaster: Yes, you should feel way sorrier for Legolas.

Carmen: Yeaaaa, you weren't freaked by the long chapter! Much happiness on that account. And you are always so nice in saying I'm deep. Hehehe. Very flattering. Yet I wouldn't go so far as to call this deep… then again I don't think that I have the ability to be deep. I think I had spent too much time writing serious stuff… and it just sorta carried over into this. But whatever, it's all good yes? If you thought that was deep however… I'm sorry to say it poofed and I'm back to my usual shallowness!

Feagliniel: Dear, that review was huge! I get e-mails smaller than that. But it was very spiffy. …BUT OH!! You said the Thû luvs u thing! Oh!! Meeeh… Well he does luv everybody so that isn't a surprise I guess. Hehe… yes, the items at the top… la… I think he is in a lapse. He's around too many good people, it's getting to him. I also think that everybody has beings in their head, but some are afraid to admit it. Cassius Six Tools of Manipulation. Loved that. And I personally like black hair… but you know that already twitch and smirk Mmm… glad you liked the manipulation scene, it was fun to write. I cackled evilly to myself through it all, and the voices in my head congratulated each other on the smooth things that were working in it. Oo… and I have other ideas for the laugh. Don't I? Yes.

XNemesis: Actually, I do already have plans for Frodo and Sauron to meet. Loooong long again I made that and worked it into a big point for the plot. Obviously! frowns and then waves in a confused manner Um… hi mini-balrogs…

AAAClub: short bow Well, that did loads for my esteem! Thank you! I'll try to keep getting better, but we'll see. And I feel quite honored that I left you speechless! Thank you again!

kingmaker: …That was the deepest review I have ever gotten. Thank you. I'm glad that the characterization and everything works… most of the time I would like to think that I have a pretty good feel of what can be acceptable and what can't. Everything just seems to run its own little course on its own. I'm not so sure about Saruman making an appearance although that would be amusing. The thing is that most of everything at this point is pretty set. Gandalf will make an appearance, which hopefully should be amusing, although most assuredly not for the same reasons as Saruman would be.

Ruler-of-Da-World: Ah yes, now you're a big freshman yes? Not many people would say big for that, but I really don't care. They are just bakunkas. But there will be run-ins. Of course!

hephalumps and woozles: Thank you!

I think that's it… but oh! I just wanted to say that I figure that there are people out there who read this but do not review… and to them I say: Review lurkers! Come out from the dark! …Please? Because reviews make me happy and give me a reason to write. And the more reviews I get the happier I am in proportion. Although, to those who do review, you people make me feel very spiffy and you shall have my goodwill when I rule the universe. : )

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From then on the rest of the ride had consisted of one of those rare occasions when amazingly neither of them gotten on the nerves of the other. It probably was a bit too much to say that they were on a friendly level, yet if it was not so it was remarkably close.

They returned the horses that evening just after the sun had set, which pleased Haldir. He could tolerate the short walk to the house from there at that time, since it would not really take too long.

Sauron also seemed equally glad, but simply from being able to get off the horse.

"Stupid creature," he muttered as he latched the gate of its stall behind it.

"It's not a stupid creature," Haldir returned.

"Sure it is."

"Why? You cannot tell me that the ride was very bad this time. We weren't riding for hours and hours without taking breaks."

Sauron contemplated his reply for a moment. "Okay," he said finally, "that was not as bad as I had expected it to be, although I still felt like I was using muscles that I didn't know I had." At this he rubbed the heel of his hands down his legs, grimacing slightly. "But it wasn't that bad I suppose."

"There you go."

"It's still stupid though."

Shaking his head, Haldir just walked out the stable. "If it makes you feel better or something to think so, go right ahead."

"I will."

"Wouldn't expect any less."

From there they had walked back to the house pretty much in silence. Sauron seemed to retain something of his positive demeanor during the walk since he did not scowl at any of the people who passed them as he normally did. Haldir considered all of this with mild surprise, but with very little hope. While he was much more in favor of Sauron staying in this sort of mood, he did not think that it would last very long.

Finally they had turned down the small lane that led back to the house. It was quiet and dark… yet not as dark as it should have been.

Through the large window above the door the light of a candle spilled out into the lane.

And considering that they had left that morning without any of the candles still lit, there was no reason that it should be alight. Unless, of course, somebody else had gone there and lit it.

"Suppose it's Elhith?" Haldir whispered to Sauron from where they had stopped dead in the road.

Frowning, Sauron slowly shook his head. "I don't think so. He said that he would be a couple of days. One day seems a bit short for such a thing."

They continued to look up at the light for a moment more silently, trying to figure out on their own what it could mean.

What Osse had said to him as he had left resurfaced itself in Haldir's mind. His family was supposed to be coming there soon. However he quickly dismissed the thought that they could be there as Osse had said soon, not immediately.

Or at least he hoped that by soon he had not meant immediately. That would have been very frustrating to Haldir for them to come before he had a chance to really prepare for it or anything.

He was brought out of his thoughts when Sauron turned to him and spoke again. "I have a plan."

"A plan?" Haldir repeated, unable to say anything more intelligent because of the sudden shaking from his previous considerations.

"Yes. We don't know who's in there, or why they are in there. I suppose there could be some less than wonderful people around here."

Haldir stared at him, keeping his face absolutely emotionless.

Sauron shook his head. "Besides myself! I thought you had decided that I didn't count for anything anyways."

"That you don't count is one thing, that you fit into the description in certain aspects is another."

"You know what I meant."

"You were getting at that you believe that there are elves here who are not completely honest and all that?"

"Yes."

"I doubt it."

"Then who's in the house?"

Haldir didn't have a ready answer for this, and Sauron instantly knew it. "Willing to listen?"

"Do I have really have any other choice?"

"You do actually. You could just go in there and yell to the person and see what happens."

That did not seem like a very favorable option. "Okay, tell me what you're thinking." He couldn't believe he was actually asking.

"All I think that we should do is get something before we just go up and see what is going on."

"Get something?"

"For defense," Sauron explained.

Haldir smiled a bit. "Do you really think we are going to get attacked?"

"No… but if we have something and the person does not, then we're in a better situation aren't we?"

"Then that's not defense. That's intimidation, or something like that."

"Well, in that instance it would be. But if they do have something then it can be for defense."

"Who would have a weapon here?"

"The Noldor did at a time you know. You could light their tempers with a match just about. Bit of a crazy lot they were."

"Hey," Haldir bristled.

"Oh, yes," Sauron said, nodding slowly. "You were in Lothlorien under Galadriel. So of course anything I say against her people you'd take as offense. My mistake."

After eyeing him for a moment, Haldir relaxed again. "So, what sort of 'something' are you thinking of?"

Sauron rubbed the back of his neck in thought. "Well, obviously there isn't anything here that is a real weapon since I'm not allowed to be around them, yet there are many things around the house, mostly on the way upstairs, which could be used as one without much imagination."

"Imagination?" Some words just didn't seem to fit in Sauron's vocabulary. "Well, say on."

" I was thinking the rolling pin and the fire poker in the kitchen."

"Rolling pin…" Haldir said, cringing as he remembered the last time he had used that thing with very limited success. Or probably more accurately with no success.

"Does that sound like a good idea?"

Haldir was a bit taken aback that Sauron was actually asking for his opinion. That hadn't happened. "Uh, yes, that sounds fine," he finally got out.

"Good. So we will go in there and get those and then head upstairs to see who it is."

Haldir nodded and followed Sauron up to the door. Slowly Sauron opened it, gently pushing it in so that it didn't make a sound and then closing it again behind Haldir. They both then snuck into the kitchen to get out their 'weapons' of choice for the evening.

"You seem to actually have an amount of grace for once," Haldir could not help but point out in a very low whisper as Sauron made his way around the kitchen without running into anything or tripping.

"Yes, when I take the time to I can have quite an amount. You should see me dance," he whispered back casually as he pulled the rolling pin from among the other various food preparation utensils without causing anything to clang or ring.

Haldir almost let out a small yelp of laughter at this, but Sauron shot him a warning glance before he could. Even in the dim light Haldir could tell when he had looked over since his eyes, which at all times had at least a bit of that disturbing fiery light to them, showed up especially in the dark.

"And that was a joke, so don't go asking me if I really did."

Haldir nodded, although he didn't suppose it was very noticeable, and swallowed his laughter as he made his way to the hearth to retrieve the poker.

When he got this, he stood straight again and looked over to where he could see Sauron's silhouette. "Your eyes are creeping me out," he said as he looked at him and couldn't ignore having those glowing things staring at him anymore.

"That had always been a bit of the point," Sauron answered, blinking.

"Well, yes, I suppose so, but still…"

Apparently Sauron was giving him one of those 'whatever you say' nods by the way his eyes bobbed a bit, and then turned towards the door.

Haldir rolled the fire poker in his hand thoughtfully and followed.

They made their way up the stairs now, not speaking to each other as they came closer to the top. Haldir stayed behind Sauron during this time for two reasons: if there really was any sort of danger (which he doubted very highly) then Sauron would be the first one to come in contact with it, and secondly because at the moment Sauron wasn't doing too bad of a job leading.

Once at the top they looked around a bit, but saw nobody. The candles all along the hall however had been lit and were shining in the dark. There obviously had to be somebody about.

Sauron did not wait long there and went into the hall, going to the first door he came to and looking under it. When this did not seem to have any light, he went to the next, and the next, and so on.

Once Sauron came to the part where the hall turned, Haldir decided to follow him, but only to the corner. Sauron looked under Elhith's door, and then Haldir's, and finally the last, which happened to be his own.

He looked under this twice, as though he could not really believe what he was seeing, and then turned to Haldir and mouthed that there was a light in his room. While he said this he had an expression as though he felt that he had been violated by this unauthorized entrance into his room.

Now he stood up and reached for the handle, yet at that moment the door swung open.

Sauron instantly looked shocked and reacted in a manner that seemed to be reflex. The rolling pin in his hand came down upon the head of the person who had come out, who in turn collapsed onto the floor upon his cranium making its acquaintance with the rolling pin.

While Haldir would have yelled at Sauron for this, Sauron himself seemed to be rather confused by what had just happened and in no way smug for his actions, as Haldir thought he would be. "What did you do?" Haldir said finally, unable to just leave it without anything.

"I didn't mean to, honestly I didn't. I was just surprised and it just… happened…"

Haldir shook his head, having to release the energy he suddenly had built up in some way.

Still shaking his head, he walked over towards Sauron and the now unconscious person, kneeling down to turn them over and see who they were.

His face instantly paled when he saw.

On the same note, Sauron actually seemed a bit uncomfortable as well. "Well, what do you know, it _was _Elhith…"

Haldir pulled his hands down his face, feeling himself go cold. "What are we going to do? Oh no… this is bad…"

Quickly Sauron regained what little of his composure he had lost the moment before. "It's not that bad. If it had been anybody other than Elhith, yes, then in all likelihood it could have been very bad. But this is Elhith and so perhaps not." Looking at Elhith's prone form sprawled across the floor, he tapped his chin thoughtfully for a second. "Help me get him to his room."

Haldir didn't have a thought of contradicting or for pointing out that Sauron was trying to do something good. He simply listened and stood up. However when he went to go and help pick him up, Sauron had already done so.

This caused Haldir to merely stand there and stare at Sauron for a minute. Considering how thin he was, there didn't seem to be any way in Arda that he'd be able to lift Elhith by himself.

"The door, Haldir," Sauron said, slapping Haldir from his thoughts.

With a blink, Haldir went to Elhith's room and opened the door, standing in the hall and watching as Sauron took Elhith in and put him on his bed. Having done this, Sauron once again looked at Haldir. "Now what?"

Even though his mind was still taking a second longer than usual to process everything, Haldir came to the conclusion on what to do pretty quickly. "We need to look through the things he has for something to wake him up."

"Sounds decent enough."

At that, they both began rummaging through the shelves of things Elhith had piled all over his room, hoping that something would turn up quickly.

Finally Haldir thought that he came across a possibility. It seemed to be something that would be used in place of smelling salts, which would have probably been appropriate enough for the situation.

He popped the lid off and was instantly hit in the face by the odor of whatever was inside. Unconsciously his eyes began to water and he ran the back of his sleeve over them to clear his vision.

Sauron noticed that he had found something and came over, also getting hit with the smell and stopping instantly. He buried his nose in the crook of his arm and squinted as though the scent was burning his eyes, which was likely since it was doing the very same thing to Haldir. "That would wake the dead," he said through his sleeve.

"So long as it wakes Elhith," Haldir said, trying very hard not to breath through his nose. "Okay, you prop his head up."

"Will I need both of my hands?"

"Probably."

"Ugh," Sauron muttered, yet did as Haldir asked and held up Elhith's head.

Haldir came over and waved the vial under Elhith's nose once, figuring that there was no need to overdo it. All of the house would probably stink from it for a week as it was.

The effect was immediate. Elhith coughed and opened his eyes a bit, and then squeezing them shut again almost instantly.

Finally he seemed to have gotten over the smell and sat up, looking at them both curiously. "What happened?" he asked softly, his hand going to the top of his head.

Haldir and Sauron looked at each other, and Haldir nudged him. "You did it," he whispered. "You explain."

While Sauron did not seem very enthusiastic about this prospect, he did it. "Well, you told me that you would be gone a couple of days, and so when we got here and saw the candles lit we thought somebody had snuck in. So we got some things, just to be safe. Then you opened the door just as I had been about to, and without even thinking I… clubbed you over the head," he finished, displaying the rolling pin.

Elhith looked from him to the rolling pin and groaned a bit. "So that's why I feel like my head has split open?"

"Probably," Sauron answered.

Although he closed his eyes, Elhith pointed to the far corner of his room. "Brown bottle on the left," he said.

Sauron went and got this to take back to Elhith while Haldir put the other bottle back where it belonged.

When Sauron put the bottle in his hand, Elhith pulled out two pills from it, swallowing them dry and then sitting there silently. Up to then Haldir still was unsure about his mood. Most people would be very angry, or at least he personally would have been, but Elhith did not seem so. On the other hand, he was not his bubbly self either.

There was a long uncomfortable silence that neither Haldir nor Sauron seemed to want to break. If somebody was going to speak it would have to be Elhith.

And at length he did. "So, you both were in on this?"

Haldir frowned. "Yes," he said quietly.

"Were you cooperating then?"

"…Yes."

Finally Elhith smiled. "Then I can handle having a headache for a while."

At first Haldir didn't understand what Elhith was getting at. He cocked a brow and turned to Sauron, who shrugged. Yet not a moment after that he knew what Elhith had meant.

However, he felt that it was one of those things that would probably be undone if Sauron understood too. So he just kept his information to himself.

"Now, if you would not mind," Elhith began, laying down again, "I would like to get some rest."

Haldir nodded, and both him and Sauron left, doing downstairs to the main room. For a moment Haldir had thought about getting something for dinner, but then decided that it was probably wiser just to wait for breakfast. He wasn't terribly hungry… or so he told himself.

After having sat a bit, Haldir slowly felt sleep creeping up on him. He had not slept well the night before, and the day had been a pretty full one in comparison to most of his. However there was something that he needed to discuss with Sauron first.

"Um, Sauron?" Haldir began, trying to figure out a way to present his thoughts without instantly making them something that Sauron could twist into one of his deals.

"Yes?"

"My family is going to be coming here soon," he said slowly.

"Is that so? The house will be a lot fuller then," Sauron said in an off hand manner as he picked up a book from the table. Apparently he wasn't taking much thought to what Haldir was saying.

"Yes, it will." He paused again. "It's been a while since I've seen them."

"That happens when you are killed."

Haldir rolled his eyes. "I know. But I was just wondering if you would try to act less like you normally do."

Sauron looked up at him from the book he was skimming through. "And you mean…?"

"Try to be cordial for once. Not even just indifferent, which would on most days be nice in itself, but attempt to be pleasant."

There was a small pause, and then Sauron looked down at the book again. "I don't see anything that could benefit me for doing something which is apparently so far from my nature," he said, flipping a page.

Haldir sighed. "You can't just do something for once because I would appreciate it? Does everything you do have to have some sort of benefit?"

This time the pause was longer. "Yes," he replied, but he did not seem quite as adamant about it as he usually would.

"Please? Just for a day, so that they can get settled a bit and I can enjoy having them around and not need to worry that you are going to be up to something?"

Setting the book down, Sauron considered what Haldir said while fiddling with his belt. While Haldir had thought of continuing the argument some, to try and bring up additional points, he decided that it would probably be best if he just was silent.

He was starting to think that leaving things in quiet was a pretty good idea.

Finally Sauron answered. "Alright."

Haldir couldn't believe it. He might have wanted Sauron to agree, but he hadn't thought that it would actually happen.

"You will?" he said incredulously.

Sauron closed his eyes as though really thinking about what he was agreeing to, and then nodded his head. "Yes, I suppose."

"Thank you," Haldir said, still a bit in shock.

"Yeah, you're welcome."

And then they sat there a bit uncomfortably.

Sauron cleared his throat. "I would like to add that if I'm doing a favor for you now, I will expect that sometime in the future, when I need to ask something of you, you will comply and all that."

"Yes, of course." Haldir then thought about it for a moment. "Well, so long as it is not like you're asking me to go do something really bad or anything."

"Fair enough."

"So, if that is all settled," Haldir began, getting up, "I suppose I will go to bed so that I'll be ready for tomorrow."

Sauron looked at him questioningly. "What's tomorrow?"

"I am going to get the house ready for them to come. After all, it's only been us three here… and it's not really as clean as it could be."

With a snort, Sauron shifted a little. "Speak for your own things. My room is perfectly clean, thank you very much."

"I'm sure," Haldir replied sarcastically.

"It is. If you don't believe me, I give you permission to take a look. I bet it looks better than your room."

"We'll see."

Haldir left then and made his way upstairs, going quietly to keep from waking Elhith up. As Sauron had suggested if Haldir did not believe that his room was clean, Haldir went to the door and opened it.

And to his surprise, it was just as Sauron had said. It was cleaner than his own.

"Told you," Sauron said right behind him.

Haldir just about jumped out of his skin. "Next time could you _not _do that?" he asked while trying not to look quite as surprised as he was.

"No," Sauron said with a smile, "it was too much fun."

Haldir kept from saying the next thing that came to his mind to say.

Sauron made his way around Haldir and into his room. "Now that I've proven my point, you can go off to bed." He gave a false smile, which Haldir returned in kind.

"Thank you for your permission. It was quite necessary."

"All you need to do is ask and I'm more than happy to give such things."

"I know it," Haldir muttered under his breath as he went to his room.

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I'm sooo happy… I'm close to the really good stuff! Muahahahahahaha! Too bad it won't be done for a while… meh. So tell me how you likey.


	27. Stupid Illogical Table Settings and Elve...

Ahh, well, it's something to the tune of three in the morning here now that I've finished writing this chapter and editing it with what crappy skills I can muster together. Sorry if there are a ton of grammatical inaccuracies or anything. Meh… well. This hopefully will tide you all over for a bit. Although, I do have this thought that considering I have a wait in Seattle for four hours before I get to go on a plane to DC that will take another five hours that I might be amusing myself in a notebook, dishing out some of the next chapter. Hopefully there will be more soon!

Also, I would like to dedicate this chapter to Spoofmaster, in honor of her birthday. Isn't that speeecial?

Reviews, you lovely people. May the voice of evil that has recently poisoned my brain not poison yours!

Feagliniel: Yeah, getting along a bit… for the moment. Hehe. School is evil! Needed, but evil. Aren't you glad you're done? Freee… for the most part.

kingmaker: I hope that it is a good vacation. Very planned out, so I should think it will be fine. And I think just being unable to carry out whatever evil whim he has is doing a world of good for Sauron. smirks Mad skills… oh yeah, you'll be seeing some of those later on. For sure. Muehehehe. I'm glad it was a good chapter! Hopefully this will be good as well. The British Isles? Well… for some reason I feel like I promised those to somebody already. I have too much to remember, I really should write it down. And also, it is mandatory of all those who wish to have any sort of rank when I rule the universe to swear fealty to me. So if you're up to that, then I'll see what I can do about the isles. Latin thus far only gave me a headache and the inability to figure out some English words in the 'comparative' and 'superlative' things… I got really confused. Started using more/most in place of er/est, and vice versa. Although in first year we did have to write a story and I made mine about Haldir. shrugs My poor teacher…

AzureDragoness: Clubs… that works I guess. Not much else you can do, eh? Sounds like we'd be on the same level though, since if I wielded anything sharp I'd probably hurt myself the most! reads plea Mmm… can't runaway… and I'm sorry because this chapter might be the worse for suspense… but I'll get another chapter up. I'm still aiming to wrap up the story this summer. Hopefully…

Carmen: My dad DROPPED me when I was a baby. I think that explains a lot. That and the Scandinavian and French blood and long exposure to heat. And I know about cicadas… they are always there. …Just not millions of those 17 year old ones. You realize, they are older than we are? Sick.

Kit Cloudkicker: It's called _male _stupidity for a reason, isn't it?

AAAClub: Hm… reviewers seem to be giving me a lot of sugar right now. That's all I need for my hyperactiveness…. Hehehe, oh well. Sugar is gooood. smiles I like bows. They make me smile. Especially at this time when just about everything I see makes me smile!

Darth T-Rex: Now, the idea of a mace and a club are very similar, aren't they? Just one has big pointy metal spikes… heh.

Spoofmaster: Yeaaaaah, I'm leaving. I'll try and update though, of course. Happy Birthday too!!!!

Passing by: I don't know how well my brain would handle having surgery on it. Already so messed up, it might actually fix it or something you know. But of course I'll have a notebook. It's just too bad that I get car sick or I could write while we're driving everywhere too… I'm glad that you enjoy it that much! It's always such a compliment to hear that something you've written has made somebody laugh.

Twisted Mary Sue: The sister I hope will be cool… she's gonna be interesting. To write at least. And yeah, she'd be like you in some things, eh? nudge nudge wink wink Anyways, that snippet was lovely. I was just so inspired. Hehehehe. But I dare say it's about write. Sheesh, Forkie has some problems… Anywho, the song seems to have a smashing start to it!

XNemesis: Oooo… recommendations! That's always spiffy. Rolling pins are scary, I agree, but not as scary as walls. And the floor in general. It I want to pull off any sort of coordination, it takes a lot of concentration. I have a knack for tripping and running into things…

Ruler-of-Da-World: My room is becoming disgusting. Some might argue… but it's seriously getting on my nerves. twitch I'll have to clean tomorrow. And then I leave in a day or so anyways! Ugh… oh well. Oh… well, hello cousin person if you happen to see this sometime. Glad you like. Mmm… no, Haldir was the only one who died. The rest are just coming over from Middle-earth. Robes… eh, I dunno. I was sorta thinking tunics too, you know, then you can do all that nice ensemble matching with the tunic part and leggings or if it's cold a nice undershirt! Ooo… wow, okay, that was the lack of rest speaking. But a couple different things, I'm sure. And I bet the old one was burned. Hehehe. Mm mm mmm…. Yes. That's the ticket.

Uuugh… well. Here's the chapter! I hope you enjoy it!

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Having slept the whole night, Haldir felt much better in the morning when he got up. It was still earlier than he normally would have risen, but he knew that he needed the day to prepare for his family to come. He figured that it was an important enough thing that he could sacrifice some sleep for it.

Digging through his clothes, Haldir found a clean tunic and yanked it over his head, then looked at the mess of unfolded clothes and wondered if he should fold them. He quickly decided that there were more important things and that if he had time he could see to it later.

He stumbled his way downstairs and went to the kitchen. As usual, the other two inhabitants of the house were already up. Elhith, as ever, was making breakfast. Sauron, as ever, was sitting at the table doing nothing more productive than staring at the patterns on the ceiling.

Long ago Haldir had figured that if Elhith was willing to go through the trouble to always cook for them, then he could at least try and help out. This meant that most of the time Haldir was doing dishes and serving things, everything but the actual cooking.

To fulfill his duty, Haldir made his way over to the cupboards and pulled out the plates and glasses, then to another drawer to get the silverware. He carefully stacked these and carried them to the table, setting them down in front of Sauron.

Sauron jolted out of his staring fit and looked at Haldir. "What am I supposed to do with that?" he asked.

"Set the table."

Sauron considered him, then the dishes. "And what do you plan on doing while I am accomplishing that?"

"Watch."

"Is this a sort of twisted entertainment or something?" Sauron asked suspiciously.

"No," Haldir said honestly. "I just know that when my family comes and there are more people around that everybody will end up having to do something. It's likely that down the line you might have to set the table, and I just want to make sure that you can do it."

"I think that you're just slacking off and want me to do it."

Haldir smiled. "Maybe just a little."

Shaking his head, Sauron nonetheless got up and started putting everything out. Haldir was again a bit surprised at this, but didn't say anything because he was pretty sure that it would made him stop.

Haldir watched a bit, and then cleared his throat. "The fork goes on the left," he said.

Sauron looked up at him, scowling once more.

"Just telling you."

"Does it really matter which side the stupid fork goes on? It's not like it will impair your ability to use it if it is on the right!" Sauron said, pointing one of the forks at Haldir.

Haldir put one finger on the fork and slowly pushed down so that it wasn't pointing quite so dangerously at him. "That's just the way it is. You put the fork on the left, and then on the right the knife and then the spoon."

"Why? That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. Which is saying something because I've heard numerous amounts of things worth such a title."

"It's just the way it has always been."

"Are you saying that you're born with this innate sense that this is the order in which everything goes when you set a table?"

"No, we learn."

"Then it wasn't always that way, was it?! You could have, like," Sauron sputtered for a moment, trying to think of something that the elves apparently could have done instead of what they did at the present. "You could have stuck the fork under the plate and crossed the spoon and knife on top of the plate just as easily!"

"No, that's not true," Haldir said calmly. "If you have the fork under the plate, then if you have already put food on your plate how are you supposed to get it? It inhibits your ability to get to it."

"Okay, then what about the order? Is there any particular reason that it goes the way it does?"

Haldir shook his head. "No, I don't believe so."

Sauron slapped his hand against his forehead. "You elves make no sense. That has no logical reasoning behind it! You just randomly decided that it should go in that order."

"Pretty much," Haldir consented.

"That is so… nonsensical."

"If it makes you feel any better, I agree with you."

Glancing at Haldir, Sauron narrowed his eyes. "You do?"

"No," Haldir said smiling. "I just felt like saying that so that I could ultimately disagree and be annoying."

"Well, it worked!" Sauron cried, letting his hand fall back to his side again.

"Great! About time that those sort of things worked."

"Oh, you're always annoying Haldir, it isn't like this is a recent development," Sauron said sulkily.

Haldir smiled smugly. "Only doing my job."

"I thought your job was to try and get me to stop being evil," Sauron said snidely, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Oh, you said evil!" Haldir said, pointing at him. "Now you're getting into that argument from so long ago, only by what you just said, it seems as though you have adopted my stance on the topic."

Sauron's expression turned a sour that was pretty noteworthy, even for him.

"Anyways, yes, I suppose that is what I should be doing," Haldir said with a thoughtful frown. "However this is much more fun, and you don't seem to want to be 'rehabilitated' or however you could phrase that eloquently."

"I thought elves were supposed to be good with words."

Haldir smiled. "And I thought that dark lords weren't supposed to squeal at clothes."

Sauron shut his mouth.

Stretching his arms back, Haldir continued to grin. "The things you set yourself up for."

"…That was a long time ago," Sauron finally said.

"Long ago? It was a year or something."

"Well, then that's a long time."

Haldir cocked an eyebrow. "Time must be going very slowly for you, hm?"

Sauron's expression actually fell a little bit. "You have no idea."

While he had thought to probe this a bit more, Haldir did not get the chance as at that moment Elhith appeared bearing the breakfast.

There was not much talk about the table that morning. Surprisingly, most days somebody would have been saying something. Normally this would mean that Elhith was just telling everybody else what he was thinking or considering at the moment, or Sauron and Haldir were picking at each other. Yet today through most of the meal it was quiet.

Then at the end however Sauron spoke up. "So, cleaning then?"

"Yes, cleaning."

"Cleaning?" Elhith repeated.

"Cleaning."

Sauron frowned. "Do you know that the word 'cleaning' was just used four times in the last ten seconds or so?"

"Do you know that that would be something that most people don't care about?" Haldir replied between bites.

"I do realize that. Also, did you know that you've been copying the way I've been phrasing things this morning?"

Haldir thought about it for a moment. "Well, so I have. Fancy that."

"No, I don't fancy that. It's getting really redundant. Think of a new way to sling what I say back in my face, will you?"

"Cleaning," Elhith said, bringing that topic back in focus. "And what does said cleaning entitle?"

"I suppose… the usual things that cleaning implies," Haldir said. He actually had never had to clean in his life, really. Wasn't like he had even had a real house before which needed to be taken care of in those sort of ways. Especially when he had been a marchwarden.

"You don't know what you're talking about, do you?" Sauron sneered.

"No, I don't," Haldir admitted after Elhith looked at him. "I'm sure that you do though, considering the shape your room was in."

"Of course. Only, cleaning is just one of those things that happens when you're organized. It only occurs because of what organizing entails."

"Mm_hmmm_… well, if that's what you tell yourself to make your cleaning fetish chime with the rules of being evil, go right ahead."

Sauron gave him an 'oh, I wish I could hurt you right now' glare.

Haldir was enjoying himself. So far, Sauron had been pretty docile even under the string of insults he had been shooting at him all morning. "Did you clean Barad-dur or anything? Sweep the ash plains? Then again, it'd be hard to clean dirt, wouldn't it?"

"ENOUGH!" Sauron screeched, pounding his fists on the table with such vigor that his hair fell forward into his face.

Both Elhith and Haldir jumped slightly.

Sauron took a deep breath and pushed his hair back again behind his ears. This seemed to allow him time to regain his cool. "Of course I didn't clean Barad-dur. That's what minions are for."

"Oh, yes, how could I forget?" Haldir said, nodding. "So I suppose you had some nice little tapestries hanging up saying 'home sweet home' and the like, right? Very warm atmosphere, regardless of the volcano?"

Sauron's jaw clenched, but he continued with the conversation. "Indeed. You have to have some nice embroidery to make a nice work environment. Sweets out in the front and everything too."

This was all quite a change for Haldir. Sauron was actually playing along. It was most definitely a first. True, he didn't seem to be quite comfortable with the whole thing, but he had kept it up. Might have snapped a bit earlier, but him snapping only once was pretty remarkable.

"Must have been a top class operation."

"Wouldn't function any other way."

At this point, Haldir actually didn't have anything more to say. He'd run into a wall.

Elhith looked back and forth between them, trying to figure out if either would speak again. When it started to become apparent that neither was going to speak, he got up and picked his plate up. "I suppose we had ought to start then?" he said as he made his way to set the plate away.

"Yes, probably," Haldir agreed as he stood up and followed.

Sauron didn't say anything, yet he got his stuff picked up and joined the line. "Is there any sort of plan you have for this?" Sauron asked in an offhand manner as he set his stuff down.

"Not really, just one room at a time I guess."

"No! Not like that!"

"Why not?"

"You have to have a plan."

"I have a plan."

"Really," Sauron said, more of a statement than a question.

"Yes. My plan is that we will clean."

"That's not what I meant in any way, shape, or form."

Haldir shrugged as he began to clean the dishes. "I know. See, I figured that you would want a plan, and so make one whether I wanted it or not. That being the case, why would I waste my time making a plan when I knew you would just make one later on?"

"I'm not that predictable, am I?" Sauron asked, his voice seeming to earnestly mean the inquiry.

"Depends. But that was a pretty sure bet, so it was predictable."

"Hm," Sauron just replied thoughtfully.

"So, tell us your almighty plan of house cleaning," Haldir said as he dried off the last dish.

This Sauron did, apparently coming up with everything on the spot. It did not take long before all of the different jobs that needed to be done were divvied up and they all scattered off to complete them.

Later on as Haldir pushed a large trunk back into place, dust and dirt all over his face and clothes, he decided that Sauron had probably separated out the jobs in such a way as to give him the most unpleasant ones. Of course when Sauron had told him what he would have to do it hadn't sounded that bad, yet he also didn't know the condition of a lot of the things he would be doing. Sauron, on the other hand, probably had noticed every ridiculous particle of dust. Or so Haldir figured as he brushed off his tunic, releasing a small cloud into the air. As he sneezed, he decided that he did not like cleaning.

He continued all that morning and into the early afternoon. During all that time, he had not come across Sauron or Elhith. Their different cleaning jobs obviously had to be on opposite sides of the house. However, considering this, Haldir got a bit suspicious. By then he figured that they would have crossed paths at least once, yet this had not happened.

Dropping the cloth he had been using for dusting, Haldir made his way downstairs. It had been his duty to see to the second floor, and although he wasn't responsible for Elhith's or Sauron's (not that his needed it) rooms, it still had been a lot of work. He had needed to clean the other rooms up for use, something that they hadn't really been seen to. Those rooms had just been there, left alone for the last year, and because of this they were a bit dirty. Still clean in the sense of picked up and everything, but remarkably dusty. Haldir regretted the fact that he had never even thought to clean those rooms before then. He was paying for it now.

After wandering the first story for a bit, he found both Sauron and Elhith sitting in the kitchen. Instantly Haldir felt quite put out and a bit irked too. "Well, what's this then?" he asked, sticking his hands on his hips.

Sauron looked at him over the brim of the glass he was drinking from. "Don't stand that way Haldir," he said after swallowing. "Only women stand like that."

Haldir frowned even more. He didn't want to know how Sauron had figured out his previously stated bit of knowledge on the stances women took. "I'll stand however it pleases me. Back to my question though. What's going on here?"

Elhith looked a bit uncomfortable, but Sauron looked unfazed. "We're done, so we stopped. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Yes!" Haldir exclaimed. "I still have two rooms left! You gave me so much to do, and now you are all done and just letting me do it all by myself."

Sauron shook his head in a mock-sad way. "Haldir, did you ever think that perhaps you're just slow at this?"

"No," Haldir said instantly, considering his words afterwards.

"Well, between Elhith and myself, we have cleaned the whole downstairs. Yes, the upstairs is large, however you did not have to do two of the rooms so it should not be as bad. Down here there are even more rooms and junk all over to clean, since it is the area that is used the most. So, I think that leaves the only conclusion that you are just slow."

Haldir snorted, but did not reply this time. Sauron might have actually had a point.

"Takes a bit to get used to cleaning, Haldir. It's one of those things you just pick up as time goes."

Haldir sat at the table with them, pulling an extra glass off the counter behind him and filling it with whatever was in the pitcher on the table. "Do you know how pathetic it really is that you are the one telling me about the nature of cleaning?"

Sauron nodded. "The irony of the matter has not escaped my attention," he said into his glass.

"Good, at least you realize it."

They sat silent for a moment longer. "Well, was that fun?" Haldir asked.

Elhith looked at him. "What?"

"Not you. Sauron."

"Hm?"

"Getting to put everything in an order that suited you, did you enjoy that?"

Sauron leaned back in his chair. "I like having things my way and organized as I like, that is true. However I really don't care for cleaning and all that. It's just something I have to do because nobody but myself can get it the way I want it to be. And it isn't like I never tried to get other people to do that sort of thing. Just, whenever I ordered them to do that stuff, it never worked and I ended up doing it myself anyways. Then I was unhappy because I had to clean and also really hacked off because everybody else was too daft to get what I meant."

"That's acceptable then. I was a bit disturbed that you would actually enjoy cleaning. It was an even creepier thought than that of you cooking."

Sauron gave an almost smug half smile, rocking on the hind legs of his chair. "I'm sure that if I felt like it, I could share things which would be creepier to you by far than me cooking."

Haldir tried to think of something, but then decided that it probably wasn't a good train of thought to explore. "I'm not really one of those people who enjoys being creeped out."

"And I'm not really into sharing, so it all works out, doesn't it?"

"Yes, seems that it does."

There was another silence, once again broken. However this one was interrupted by the sound of a knock at the door.

They all looked at each other. Apparently that took a minute because there was another series of knocks in this time.

"Well, somebody get the door," Sauron finally said, a note of exasperation in his voice.

Haldir got up, as did Elhith. Although Haldir did not see it while he went to the door, he heard Elhith convincing Sauron to come along too.

So he came to the door, Elhith beaming behind him as he always did and Sauron adopting a more surly expression.

And with that he opened the door, finding himself instantly drowned in his sister's embrace and the sounds of his brother's greeting him before he quite knew what had happened.

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laughs manically Hahahahaaaaaaa… now you still have to wait to meet the family. Is that a bit cruel? Hehe. Oh well. It'll come eventually. You guys just have to have patience… something that I don't have myself, but that's okay. Anyways, until my next update, have a good summer!!!


	28. The Seeming Pick on Haldir Day

I'm baaaaaack! …Hi. I know I said that I was going to post a chapter while I was gone, and I could have… if the computer had been nice to me. But the computer was mean and wouldn't let me go on the net… so I couldn't update. I'm sorry. This chapter is pretty long though, 25 pages. But I guess I had better also add that the admin. for this site are being turds and taking down a lot of things which are in script form... so my spoof was taken down and I was put on 'probation' for the last week. Ugh. Otherwise this would have been posted sooner. And that kinda means that the replies are really old, but I'm not really supposed to be on so I'm trying to be quick. So that's that I guess. I'll try to get another chapter up in a short space of time, but we'll have to see. Sadly, I don't think it'll be done by the time school starts as I would have liked. Oh well.

REVIEWEEEEEEEEEEEEERS! Weeee!

kingmaker: I think really bored people came up with the place setting thing. REALLY bored people. And yes, Sauron the Amazing Super Fast Cleaner Dude. Or something. I dunno, I'm really tired and not thinking coherently so you can't take what I'm saying seriously. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope the first chapter with the family tickles your fancy.

AzureDragoness: Yes, he's still dusty. I'm glad you could deal with the wait too… cause it was a wait. I'm really sorry about that. But here this is. That counts, aye?

Shadow: It isn't Sauron who has to beware. Muahahaa...

XNemesis: Cleaning stinks. It's servile and blaaah. Hehehe. Grammatical errors, something which goes with me just writing down whatever comes in my head. English is so messed up anyways. …I'd be happy if they made The Hobbit a movie.

Darth T-Rex: …eh… Bad Frotu and the late update.

Kit Cloudkicker: …You used the phrase. Wow. But yes, they are hopeless.

Carmen: …Nice about your mirror. I can't stand nastiness. "A clean desk is the sign of a sick mind." … No, it is a sign of an organized mind! Moo! Sauron the neat freak.

Spoofmaster: I hope you had a spiffy birthday. And you'll just have to see what his family thinks.

AAAClub: …eeeh… sorry?

Elderberry: I completely understand busy. I'm glad you like the snipping, as there is a lot of it going around.

Feagliniel: Hehehe… lemon juice. Ooooh, you're psychic. Go you. And yes, he does set himself up for a lot. I love the lay, it makes me giggle. Which probably isn't a good thing. Come on now, he can regenerate. Not like… deh… other people. Did it to himself the arrogant little bakunka. Hehehe… is the Voice whispering? Mine always does sadly. Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. And yes, I knew he had a cape/cloak. And his eyes were on firaaaa too. It says that. Yup. You said it! I'm impressed! Hehehe.

Passing By: I'm sorry the review went away, and thank you for making a new one! And I've moved a bit past the really sugary stuff… got too much of it on our super long drives. Ugh. Thank you for the luck. I've needed it a bit!

Ruler-of-Da-World: Maybe if more people had air conditioning, the world would be a less grumpy place. I'm sorry again that this took so long, it made me really frustrated. Aw, now your e-mail doesn't work? Does your scanner work yet? Not that it would do much good without e-mail… but still. And I have been a good girl. Had a big long chapter that I started typing up as soon as I got home. Honestly. I'd been in a car 9 hours and then I came and started typing it up. His reaction could be funny, I'll think about it.

GollumRox: You are a silly silly little wench. All I have to say is this: My Dwayne is name and would you like some turkey?

Ooookay. I think I'm done. A chapter! Wooo… glad that I'm able to post it. That is good. Hope you like it and that it was worth the wait!

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It took Haldir a minute before everything registered with him. True, while going to answer the door he had briefly considered the idea that it might have been his family, however he had decided that it had been too quick for that to be the case. Now he was standing there, his siblings all huddled around him.

"You're out of Mandos already?!"

"We didn't think you'd have been released yet."

"Of course, it seemed a bit odd that we were directed specifically to this house rather than going along with the rest of the group, but the thought never crossed my mind that you'd be here."

"Do you have any food?"

Haldir's head stopped spinning long enough for him to shoot his youngest brother a look.

"Rumil, honestly, can you get your head out of food long enough to greet our, until recently it seems, dearly departed brother?" Orophin asked, looking at Rumil too.

Haldir smiled slightly. "Well, he hasn't changed at all."

"And do you really think that is anything positive?" his sister asked.

Taking a good look at her, Haldir beamed. "Lalaith, I'm so glad to see that those two haven't worn you threadbare," he said, jerking his head towards the other brothers, who were arguing with each other at the moment over the earlier topic of food.

Lalaith looked over at them and shook her head. "They got close a couple of times, but then I just pulled some of those tricks you had told me to use."

"Such a good pupil," Haldir said with a grin.

It was at that moment that he was reminded that there were some introductions that needed to be done. Rumil apparently had noticed Sauron and Elhith and had said hello. It seemed an appropriate time to butt in a bit.

"Well, Elhith, Iaewur," Haldir began, momentarily pausing while he remembered Sauron's new name, "these are my siblings: Rumil, Orophin, and Lalaith. And you three, this is Elhith and Iaewur."

Orophin and Rumil both became more serious and seemed to remember something of the manners they had been taught during their upbringing and bowed slightly while Lalaith curtseyed. A moment later Elhith bowed too. During this Sauron looked on with a suppressed repulsion, which was pretty predictable. Haldir instantly knew that this could cause trouble and elbowed Sauron lightly, just to get his attention. When Sauron turned a little towards him, Haldir gave him a pleading look. One day, he had only asked for one day.

Sauron gave a sigh, but then bowed too, just a moment after Elhith. Haldir had to keep the smile off his face that wanted to go on. For once this sort of thing didn't make him want to smile to rub it in however, but from relief.

It seemed that Sauron actually might keep his word and behave in a cordial manner. So far so good, but only time would really be able to tell.

Elhith seemed to instantly go into his welcoming happy mood. "Would you like to see your rooms, or would you rather get something to eat or drink first?"

"Food!" Rumil chirped, adding, "if you please," a moment later.

Orophin sighed. "Rumil, you're hopeless."

Elhith took the lead and began walking towards the kitchen. As they did, Sauron hung back a little next to Haldir. "Seems to be a bit of a family phrase you have that people are hopeless," he noted.

"Certain habits rub off in families I suppose."

"I honestly don't know so I'll just have to take your word for it."

"Well, that's something."

Sauron just shook his head and followed on for a moment. "So this is your family then?" he asked a bit suddenly.

"Yes," Haldir replied.

There was a short pause. "Where are your parents?"

Haldir did not have an answer for this. The thought had sadly not occurred to him yet. It had been a bit just to see his siblings that the fact that he hadn't seen his parents didn't impact him at all.

"You're a very observant fellow, did you know?" Sauron remarked sardonically. "Didn't you say sometime that you were a march warden?"

Haldir nodded. "Captain."

"Sad," Sauron remarked dolefully. "And how old are you?"

Ignoring the fact that such a question seemed remarkably random, Haldir scratched his head as he tried to pull up the answer. "I'm not sure anymore. Time in Mandos is messed up. I was nearly 1,497 when I… died," he ended lamely.

"You were alive when I sent orcs and stuff to Lorien then. I should have spent more time having them trained and all if they could be beaten even with your sad observation skills."

Haldir scowled at him. "For one, I hadn't lived near my parents for a long time whereas I was around my brothers a lot so it didn't seem odd that they weren't here. Second, I haven't done that sort of thing, scouting and all, for a long time. My skills aren't as good as they used to be; they haven't been used for a long time."

"Long time you say? Couldn't have been that long."

"Why not?"

"Well, what year did you die?"

"3,019."

"See, you were only in Mandos a couple months."

"WHAT!?" Haldir yelled, stopping in the hall before the kitchen.

Everybody who had already taken seats inside turned to him curiously. He used his best fake smile and told them to carry on and that he'd be there in a moment.

Stepping back from the doorway a little, Haldir yanked Sauron over, keeping him from going on to the kitchen. "Come again," he said in a low voice.

"You died early that year I'm assuming, and I was…" Sauron began, but drifting off.

"Defeated?" Haldir supplied.

Sauron frowned. "Yes, _that_… in March of the next. After that I sort of drifted around for a bit, trying to ignore the fact that Namo kept invading my thoughts and attempting to summon me of my own free will to Mandos. I'm not sure when he finally gave up on that and somehow just yanked my spirit over there; maybe it was two months, but that would probably be pushing it. And you were lucky enough to meet me the day I came to and figured out where I was. Sadly, that was the most together I had been since… March. Until then I'd hardly been capable of a rational thought - the only things that occurred to me were that I should be very upset and that I didn't want to listen to Namo. So I suppose it was a bit of a step up that I could… _express _my displeasure."

Haldir listened, jaw slightly dropped, as Sauron rambled on. Much more information than had really been necessary had been shared, and although this brief lack of reserve from Sauron was slightly amusing, it was also disturbing. Those two things seemed to go hand-in-hand a lot.

Shaking his head, Haldir spoke up. "Okay, okay, okay that's nice," Haldir said, cutting Sauron off. "Back to the subject though. You're saying that I was only in Mandos four months or something?"

Sauron looked up at the ceiling in thought for a moment, and then abruptly down at Haldir again. "Yes."

Sputtering, Haldir grabbed the braids at the sides of his head. "You're kidding."

"No."

"UGH!" He yanked harder on his braids, ignoring the fact that it hurt quite a bit. "But Narhir said that I'd been there 12,982 years!"

"Well, he was wrong wasn't he? Sheesh… waaay wrong. How'd he die?"

Haldir slowly released his braids. "…He attacked at the wrong time in a battle," he said quietly.

Sauron nodded. "And you were trusting _his _time keeping abilities?"

"I did."

"Again, I say sad."

"But it felt like it have been that long! All those groups! It felt like it would never end!"

"And it probably would have continued on indefinitely had it not been… for me," Sauron said with a falsely sweet smile.

"Oh hush," Haldir said irritably. "I am very upset right now."

"I bet you are." His smile became more genuine, meaning it took on more of a sinister appearance. "Slightly ironic that just earlier I said something about time passing slowly?"

"Yes," Haldir said listlessly, finally accepting that he had only been in Mandos for a third of a year.

Sauron frowned a bit, and then threw his arm over Haldir's shoulder. While Haldir would have shaken him off, Sauron gripped his shoulder to prevent him from doing so. Slowly he led Haldir back towards the kitchen. Haldir again was reminded of how strong Sauron was. Although he did try to stop or pull away, Sauron's hand grasped his shoulder like a vice. Sauron's smile widened. "You're too transparent Haldir. I figured out your whole demeanor in a week or so. It's obvious that you would wrench away if you could, but, alas, I happen to be a bit stronger, hm? Smithing will do that to you. But anyways, the point I was going to get at was that time is all relative. It only seems slow because we dislike what we are spending it doing. Of course, then it is also true that doing something we enjoy will make it go faster."

Haldir raised a brow and looked at Sauron. "Going all philosophical on me now are you?"

With a shrug Sauron let go. "I'm just telling you. I've been around a long time and know about these things. I mean, I was here before there even was such a thing as time for that matter."

"Well then how old would you be?"

Sauron looked at him as though he had missed something obvious… which he had. "Can't really have an age without the ability to measure years and such, can you?"

"I suppose not."

By now they were near the table and took the open chairs. Elhith was busy around the kitchen as ever, however now Lalaith and Orophin were helping as well. Rumil, who had the same talents as Haldir when it came to cooking, sat at the table too. For a moment they were silent, staring at the bowl in the middle of the table which served as a centerpiece.

Yet then Sauron did something which surprised Haldir a bit. He figured that it shouldn't as Sauron had agreed to be amiable, but it was the nature of the thing. After all the time he had spent in Sauron's company with his natural disposition, it seemed so odd, like if a fish suddenly grew wings and started flying around.

Haldir paused after that mental analogy and wondered where his brain was going.

"I see that there is another chef here in the family," Sauron noted, none of the usual abrasive sarcasm to his voice. The remark had been sardonic, true, but was not to the point of rudeness.

Rumil smiled. "Yes, neither Haldir nor I learned anything of the culinary arts. That was left to Orophin."

Sauron glanced at the people in the kitchen. "What about your sister then? Normally wouldn't it be her?"

"I suppose so," Rumil conceded. "However she is the youngest, and for a while it was just us three boys. So, that being the case, our mother decided to teach them how to do it themselves; I was too little at the time to learn. Haldir didn't pick up on it at all, so I'm told. Orophin says that he almost burned our flet down once."

Sauron grinned slightly at Haldir. "I'm not all that surprised."

"Anyways, continue on," Haldir said, mildly aggravated.

"So it was only Orophin who learned, and since he did so well with that, our mother decided to teach him other things."

"Such as?" Sauron asked.

"Medicine and sewing primarily."

Haldir nodded, smiling. "He can make a lovely stitch. Very straight and even. Rivals Lalaith for sure."

"Definitely," Rumil said, holding back a laugh.

They didn't notice Orophin listening now at the counter, pausing his work. "Are you talking about me?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"'Course we are. You're the only one away to talk about at the moment."

Orophin frowned. "You could talk about Lalaith."

Rumil put his hand to his chest, taking on a fake outraged look. "Are you suggesting that we tarnish her honor for our amusement?"

Leaning over the counted, Orophin nodded. "Yes."

"For shame! No, Orophin, your honor had been tarnished enough by yourself for my little additions to not make any different. Lalaith however is still such an angelic lady."

Hearing her name, Lalaith turned to the group and curtseyed, smiling as sweetly as she could while batting her lashes. She then promptly shook her head and went back to her work.

Still feigning hurt, Orophin too saw back to whatever he had been doing. "Well, I'll show you worms. Look out for my germs in your food."

Sauron raised a brow at this, looking slightly amused.

Rumil laughed. "I will. Extra protein."

By now everything seemed to be done and a handful of platters were placed around the table. Elhith, Orophin, and Lalaith sat down, Elhith seeming pretty pleased. "I like having two others in the kitchen to help out, rather than just being by myself cooking for you two."

"Oh, you were cooking for yourself as well," Haldir said, smirking. 

"Yeah, that made the situation a whole lot better."

They then began serving themselves and eating. That meal was full of chatter, more so than any Haldir could recall. Then again, the population of the house had doubled.

"Where did you say our parents were?" Haldir asked as he helped himself to more bread.

"They stayed with Celeborn. Father being in the royal guard and all, he has to stay as long as Celeborn does, and mother wouldn't leave him," Rumil said through a mouthful of food, for which Lalaith promptly smacked him on the arm. He gave a small yelp and rubbed his arm, glaring a bit at her.

"I don't think they will be there long though," Orophin added.

"How come?" Haldir asked.

"Well, Galadriel left. We all agreed that Celeborn would probably get bored without her around, and when he leaves so will our good old parents."

"Why did Galadriel go ahead of him?"

Orophin swallowed. "I figure she didn't want to see Lorien wane. We don't know why, but she didn't seem to have as much power over the lands once the Ring was destroyed and all."

Across the table Sauron choked on his drink, coughing for a moment. Everyone turned to him, if not for different reasons. Haldir and Elhith both of course knew the real reason he had choked. Now they just had to see how he handled it.

"You all right?" Rumil questioned slowly.

Still coughing, Sauron nodded. "Just swallowed wrong," he said quickly before coughing once more.

Haldir sighed. Sauron hadn't even snapped at Rumil. Simply amazing.

"So she left," Orophin continued. "Lalaith of course came along with her, being one of her handmaidens. We decided to accompany her."

"The trip was lovely. I'd never been in such noble company before," Rumil started excitedly. "Lord Elrond was there, as was Mithrandir. There were many others too." He paused. "Haldir, do you recall that Frodo Baggins?"

Glancing over at Sauron, who seemed a bit pale and also very tense, Haldir cautiously replied. "I do. I showed him Cerin Amroth."

"I don't know if you found out in Mandos or not, but it was he who too k the Ring to the fire and destroyed it."

Both Haldir and Elhith caught each others eyes, comprehending the danger of the situation. The present subject was not a good one.

Rumil continued, oblivious. "Anyways, the point I was getting to was that he was granted a place on the ship as well. He's to live in Tol Eressea."

At that moment two things happened simultaneously: Haldir was curing that Rumil had shared that information in his mind, and there was a loud, high crack which caused him to jump.

Instantly he looked across the table. Already broken out of his trance, Sauron was looking at what he had done and, shockingly, getting out a tight apology. Apparently he had broken his glass, which lay in little fragments all around his hand, water soaked into the tablecloth.

The room had fallen to a hush now. Always good with difficult situations, and proving this skill once more, Elhith jumped up, starting the conversation again and beginning to clean the shards of glass.

Since she was sitting to Sauron's right, Lalaith had also started to aid in the clearing of the glass. "Are you okay?" she asked, concerned as she ever was for somebody else. "The glass didn't cut you, did it?"

Sauron turned to her, for once allowing some expression of surprise to cross his face.

"Well?" she prodded, reaching for his hand and turning it palm up.

"I don't believe so," he answered slowly, observing her carefully, as though she was something altogether new and strange.

Satisfied, Lalaith released his hand and smiled. "Good."

Still appearing slightly baffled, Sauron returned her smile, at least in some measure, while he pulled his hand back.

Lalaith now had a handful of the glass and went with Elhith to dispose of them.

It was then that Haldir figured it to be appropriate to excuse Sauron and himself. "Well, I think it's time for me to go off to bed. We'd been a bit busy today, if you could not tell," he said, gesturing to his dusty tunic. He looked over at Elhith, who nodded. "I believe that Elhith will show you all your rooms when you're ready to go to them."

Orophin and Rumil both nodded and wished him goodnight, while Lalaith came over and hugged him quickly. "It's so wonderful to see you Haldir," she whispered before going to finish the cleaning.

Haldir smiled, and then nudged Sauron as he passed him. Obviously getting the hint, Sauron got up and followed him from the room.

Once upstairs, Haldir stood at the doorway of Sauron's room. There were a few things that needed to be discussed.

Sauron apparently knew this already by the first thing he said. "Now, I'm curious - will you ask the questions I think you have first or at least give me some credit for not throwing a complete fit down there."

"The later," Haldir replied. "I must say that even with the slight mishaps you did amazingly well."

"At least you realize it," Sauron responded sharply, beginning to pace the room with his hands clasped behind his back. "I haven't had to use such restraint in hundreds of years."

"Well, you did a good job."

"Besides busting a glass, right?"

"Yes, other than that. But we can write that off as an accident of course. You raging over something which, you realize caused everybody else a great amount of joy, would be a bit more difficult to explain away."

Still pacing, Sauron nodded. "I suppose. But oh how I wanted to rage." His hands clenched behind him, the angry glare he usually wore, which had been absent the rest of the day, appearing again. "_He's here_," he hissed, his eyes flashing.

"Not really _here_," Haldir pointed out. "Tol Eressea."

"Not a time to play word games with me," Sauron said quietly, accompanying it with a warning glance.

"Point taken," Haldir replied.

"He's here… he RUINED me!" Sauron fumed. "I've been reduced to nothing and he's being praised only miles away!"

"You can't expect to be praised though considering the things you did."

Sauron waved his hand at him, a last sign for him to shut up. Haldir tried a bit harder to oblige.

For a few more moments Sauron walked around the room, regaining his cool again. "You need to take me there so that I can pay him a visit," he said finally.

Haldir became a bit more alert. "Oh no you don't. I see where this is going plain as day. You think I'm going to take you somewhere so you can murder a helpless little halfling?"

"I never said I'd murder him," Sauron said as convincingly as possible, with very little success.

"You didn't have to say it, I knew it without being told."

Quicker than he had time to realize what had happened, Haldir found himself being shaken by Sauron. "You don't understand!" he cried. "I have a chance for revenge, to get back for what he did, even the score a bit."

"I think it was he who evened the score," Haldir stuttered, his voice sounding strange from the continued shaking.

Sauron let go of Haldir and turned around, pulling at his belt. Haldir figured that it must have been his anger release, or one of them. At least it was better than the shake-Haldir-to-the-point-of-making-his-brain-jelly anger release. "I need to go."

"You don't."

"I do."

"You don't."

"I do."

"How'd you like the strawberries?"

"Haldir!"

"Sauron, just drop it. You might as well forget about it because there is no way on this earth that I will take you out there. No way."

"No way? We'll see about that."

"No we won't. You're going to let go of the topic and forget you ever heard it." 

"I don't think I'm going to," Sauron said thoughtfully. "I'm just going to wait until I find something that will make you have to take me."

"There isn't anything, so don't trouble yourself."

"There's something, and I'll figure it out eventually."

Haldir sighed. "Shall we go to another subject then?"

Although he did not answer instantly, Sauron slowly nodded. "If you wish."

"I do." Well… it was true that he wanted to go to another subject, he just didn't know what that was. "So… thank you again for doing as you said you would. I'm very grateful for it."

"Seemingly not enough," Sauron grumbled as he flopped into a chair. "You said that you would do something for me but you won't."

"I said as long as it wasn't really bad. That is really bad."

"Isn't."

"Probably be signing your own doom there. Be worse off if you did that than you are now. Although I don't understand how you can call this bad."

Sauron just made a sound which seemed to mean that he didn't care about what Haldir had said and wasn't going to take the time to reply.

"I hardly think you could say you're badly off."

"To each his own."

Haldir sighed. "Anyways, on another note, now you've met my family."

"Yes."

"And?" Haldir encouraged.

Sauron glanced agitatedly at him. "I'm assuming that you are wanting to know my impression."

"A bit, yes."

"Well, you can tell the relation. You seemed to be quite generous with sharing parts of your disposition with them."

"Being the eldest that happens."

"I can guess. Although it seemed that Rumil would be able to have somewhat evil tendencies."

"He has, and often times he drags Orophin into his little ploys."

"Orophin? Isn't he older though?"

"Yes, but he always went with whatever was going on."

"So why didn't he just listen to you then?"

"Before I went off to be tutored he would. However in the time I was gone they became very close. And since then Orophin would only blindly follow Rumil."

"Hm. It seems that you got the short end of that stick," Sauron pointed out.

"True, but there isn't much I can do about it. At least I was around Lalaith before Rumil could suck her into his bad pastimes."

"Well, you didn't give her much of your mannerisms either."

"Oh no, she was the only daughter. I wasn't about to let her pick up any of my bad habits. So I pretty much tried to stay away from teaching her things since I figured most of them wouldn't be very lady like."

"Probably not. But you did well on that - she seemed to have a shred more nobility than the rest of you."

"That is likely. When she was little my father was promoted to the royal guard and she ended up being in contact with Galadriel more than the rest of us had while growing up. Then she became a handmaiden and I didn't have to worry about her behavior after that."

"She was… nice," Sauron said thoughtfully.

Haldir looked at him, a bit disturbed. "Come again?"

Turning his hand over and looking at it himself, Sauron continued. "She seemed genuinely concerned. I don't know the last time somebody actually wondered about me without some ulterior motive considering who I was." He paused. "I can't even remember when it was that way. Seems hard to think that it ever was. So it's odd now."

"She just doesn't know who you are is all," Haldir put in.

"I know. Still… in an odd way, it's sort of nice."

Haldir couldn't really believe what he was hearing. "You actually liked that? I thought it would annoy you to have somebody do that."

"Fawning I do not like particularly. But that was all right, although it surprised me a bit." He smiled slightly then, dangerously close to wistfully.

Haldir looked at Sauron, officially creeped out. Sure, he had asked Sauron to act in such a way… around his family. For show. Now away from them with only him around. "Um… Sauron?" he said, snapping his fingers in front of his face.

"Eh?" he said, blinking.

Haldir stared a bit more.

"What? Just off in my thoughts, nothing really earth shattering going on there."

Haldir nodded quickly. "All right."

Sauron looked at him quizzically, but the expression slowly melted to one of comprehension. "Did you think that I liked your sister a bit more than just casually or something hm?"

Now that it seemed so obvious that such wasn't the case, Haldir didn't really feel like replying.

With a smug grin, Sauron nodded knowingly. "That's pathetic Haldir. You must be really defensive of her if you think that I'm sort of threat to her… at least that way. The only love I've felt was that for myself and the things I've made. Never gotten into that romantic type. Sounds like a bunch of unnecessary stress if you ask me."

"I see," Haldir said, just a tad embarrassed. It was true that he was extremely protective of his little sister, and it was also true that it left him to over thinking things at times.

Still seeming to be lightly amused by all this and not yet ready to drop the topic, Sauron displayed an absolutely roguish grin. "Although, she was quite fair," he said softly, putting his arms behind his head.

Haldir was pretty sure he twitched. Didn't matter if Sauron had said it in a joking manner or not, that statement was not one he wanted to hear from his mouth. "Don't say that," he said, repositioning himself uncomfortably on the door frame.

"You were the one asking for my impression of your family. I'm simply saying what I thought of your sister."

"I didn't that that you cared about that sort of thing," Haldir continued, his voice a bit tight.

"What things?" Sauron said, playing stupid, which Haldir at the moment didn't think needed much acting.

"Visual stuff," he said awkwardly.

"That is something in which you have misjudged me," Sauron replied seriously. "It would be hard to accomplish the things I designed if I had to work on what they looked like, however I can appreciate beauty."

"Knock it off," Haldir said, frustration spilling somewhat into his voice.

"What? You are even the one who told me that I should start to think that way a little more, didn't you?"

Haldir bit his lip. It was true. "I didn't intend for the one time you followed what I said to be in relation to my baby sister."

Sauron continued to smile, enjoying Haldir's discomfort. "Haldir, your mind is too easy to play with. If I was a good person, I'd almost pity you. However, seeing as how that sort of thing amuses me, I do not pity you. All the same, I'll stop toying with your mind for now." A moment earlier he had gotten up and walked to the door. Now he patted Haldir on the head and got ready to shut it.

Haldir sighed. "So you were kidding?"

"No, not completely," Sauron answered and shut the door.

Although Haldir considered knocking on the door and continuing the conversation, he decided against it. So there really wasn't much else for him to do other than go to bed. He still didn't feel very good, but there wasn't anything for it that night. Maybe in the morning.

He went to his room and changed into his pajamas. With one last reflection on the day, shaking his head, Haldir crawled into his bed and fell asleep.

:::::

"This is his room, right? It has to be one of these three."

"Shhh! You're so loud!"

"I am not. You're just paranoid that he'll wake up."

"I have reason though. We just got here today and you're already wanting to pull a prank on him!"

"Orophin, stop being a priss. How many pranks have we pulled on him during our lives?"

"I never counted. Tons."

"And how many times has he woken up while we did it?"

"Twice I believe."

"So there really isn't much of a chance that he'll wake up tonight. Besides, he had been cleaning and stuff so he'll probably sleep good and deep."

The two stopped at a table next to a window while Rumil stirred something in a bowl. Orophin glanced around the hall. "I'm not sure of this," he said, frowning.

Rumil looked up at him, flipping back his long ash blonde hair, his expression slightly exasperated. "Why?"

"It's just that it's not only us anymore. There are other living here too."

"Maybe they'll be amused too," he responded, turning back to his work.

"And maybe they'll side with Lalaith and find it in bad taste."

Rumil shook his head. "She's always been on Haldir's side. As for the others, do you think they've really earned our concern yet?"

"It's not quite like that Rumil, and you know it."

"You're not wimping out on me, are you?"

Orophin paused, and then sighed. "No."

"Good."

"I still don't know about it though. You sure that it will come out? Why don't we just use honey like we usually do?"

"Because this will be more work for him to get out. He's figured out the tricks for honey, but not this. It will come out, don't worry. I only put enough stuff in there so that it would make it interesting." He smirked.

"Where do you come up with these things anyways?"

"Years of observation."

"You could probably put that skill to better use, you know."

Rumil grinned, picking up the bowl. "But what would the fun in that be? Now come on, let's go."

They went down the hall, Rumil glancing at the doors. "Which could it be? Hm…" he looked from one door to the next. "Which one is the most like the one he had in our talan?"

"The one at the end," Orophin said, pointing. "He was at the end then too wasn't he?"

"Yes, you're right," Rumil whispered, nodding approvingly while moving to the door.

When he noticed that Orophin wasn't following, he turned. "Well, come on."

Orophin came up to him then, hesitantly. Slowly Rumil opened the door, trying to be silent. Both of them stuck their head in.

For a moment it was absolutely black. "What _are _you doing?" a voice, definitely not Haldir's, asked. There was a creak, probably a bed, and then a pair of glowing eyes appeared in the corner.

Orophin, who had been leaning past Rumil, clutched his brother's shoulder. Although he couldn't tell, Rumil was gripping the doorframe pretty tightly himself.

"Well? Going to leave?"

Neither answered.

There was a short sigh that wasn't noticed by Rumil or Orophin, promptly followed by a "WAH!" which made them both jump out of the room.

Orophin closed the door and turned to Rumil, eyes wide. "Was that Iaewur?" he whispered.

Blinking, Rumil scratched his neck. "I think so. Sounded like him."

"Does he seem a bit odd to you?" Orophin asked.

"A bit."

There was a silence. "Something's different about that fellow."

"You can say that again."

They moved on to the next door, taking even more care with opening it. As the door slid wider, they cautiously looked in.

In this room however the curtains were opened, allowing a good amount of moonlight to filter in. From this they saw the blonde head on the pillow. Both looked at each other, smiling slowly.

"This is grand," Rumil said, pulling up the spoon from the bowl as he walked towards the bed.

:::::

The next morning, Haldir once again found himself waking up earlier than he intended. Apparently he had left his curtains open the night before and now the sun was shining into his eyes.

Reluctantly he got up, yawning as he picked out some clothes and put them on. It was nice to have all of his clothes finally put away and in predictable places, however he knew it would not last long.

He made his way downstairs, going to the kitchen as was usual. There he found Sauron eating the rest of his breakfast while skimming through a book.

"Where is everybody?" Haldir asked, yawning again.

"What makes you think they aren't here?" Sauron asked in response, still flipping pages.

"Well, I know that they are not asleep because of all the places scattered around, and since there isn't much noise in the house, I figured that they were out."

"You surmise correctly," Sauron replied, closing his book and reaching for a pitcher of juice. "Both of your brothers were anxious to leave the house for a while so Elhith took them out to see the city. Lalaith went along. Elhith left some breakfast for you over there…" he said, finally looking up and starting to point towards the meal, but stopping suddenly.

"What?" Haldir asked, frowning.

However Sauron didn't answer. He just continued to stare at Haldir blankly.

Slowly the corners of his mouth turned up until he was smiling widely. He suddenly tried to wipe it from his face, biting his lips in the attempt.

Haldir was quickly getting upset with this. "Sauron! What is it?!" he demanded angrily.

This only seemed to make whatever had caused his amusement to be funnier. Sauron now proceeded to snort, a hand flying to his nose to prevent it from continuing. He looked away from Haldir for a moment, and then back up. Yet this time he was not limited to the cut off laughs which resulted in the snorts. For once he was unable to hold back the laughter.

So Sauron laughed. Haldir could recall a couple of times when he had done so, but they had all been in a very derogatory manner, intent on mocking somebody else. For a long time he had figured that it was probably just the way Sauron laughed, but that always left the problem of why on all other occasions he had kept himself from doing it. And now he knew differently to his theory and realized why Sauron had always tried to keep himself from laughing.

His laugh didn't fit with his personality at all.

There didn't seem to be any way that the laughter filling the kitchen now could belong to Sauron. Haldir then considered that maybe it seemed that way because, as he had thought long ago, Sauron and things of the nature of laughing didn't seem like a natural combination.

But here he was, laughing hysterically. He leaned back in his chair and then to one side, resting his head in his hand.

For a while Haldir was too surprised at his laugh, which still sounded like the last thing he would have ever heard out of Sauron, to do much. Yet finally he got over his slight shock and became upset again. "Why don't you stop your completely un-dark lordish laughing and tell me what is so funny?"

Sauron tried to stop, holding his nose again and slowly getting under control enough to speak. "Looked in a mirror lately?" he choked out.

"No," Haldir said suspiciously.

"You might want to," he just barely said before dissolving into laughter again.

Ignoring him now, Haldir rushed around the kitchen, finally finding a pan and holding it up.

Upon seeing his reflection, Haldir dropped the pan, eliciting another peal of laughs from Sauron. Haldir however was nowhere near laughing.

Hoping that he had been mistaken in what he had seen, or that the pan had distorted the reflection, Haldir ran out of the room and upstairs. He knew that there was a mirror in the hall there.

But it wasn't any different. What he was greeted with was the same as the pan. His hair, which he had always taken such good care of, was a tangled web sticking off his head.

Sauron appeared at the rail of the stairs. "If I can just say, I don't think it is really that funny, it was just a bit of a shock."

"You really made it apparent that it wasn't funny by laughing your head off," Haldir snipped.

"I told you, it was a shock. By the looks of that, one would think that you had taken some styling lessons from me last year. Bit of a switch, hm?"

Haldir hated to admit that it was the truth. Now it was his hair that could hardly be called such while Sauron's lay straightly. It was seriously unfair.

For a minute he lamented his hair and the condition it was in, but then his mind turned to other things when he heard the door open. The voices of his brothers drifted up to him and everything suddenly clicked.

His expression turned venomous, enough that Sauron's continued laughing died down. The amused expression remained, although now slightly altered. "Somebody is in serious trouble, aren't they?"

"Yes," Haldir hissed, feeling his stiff locks.

Sauron looked thoughtful for a moment. "Your brothers came into my room last night. I believe that they must have been looking for you, obviously. It was annoying. They just stood there like they were little cornered mice."

"Hmm…" was all the response Haldir gave before he stormed downstairs.

He didn't care that Elhith looked at him with eyes as wide as saucers or that Lalaith was too surprised to speak. All he saw was Rumil and Orophin, who looked pleased for only a moment.

"You both better start explaining now," he said in a low voice, one that he had only rarely used.

Both blanched. "Rumil thought of it," Orophin said, pointing.

Rumil slapped his hand away. "He helped though."

"I don't care!" Haldir snarled, clenching his fists at his sides. "Just tell me how to fix it!"

Orophin shoved Rumil forward. "You made the concoction," he whispered.

Rumil smiled nervously. "Just put it in hot water and let it soak for a long time. It will all come out after that."

But it didn't all come out. None of it came out in fact. It didn't come out in cold water, or with soap, or with anything. It all remained stubbornly attached to his hair.

The momentary hope he had felt vanished, the anger from before taking its place. Haldir was staring at his reflection again, which looked the same except now dripping with water.

Slowly he turned to his brothers. "I am going have your scalps for this!" he roared, racing after them. They both instantly turned tail and scattered from their very, at the moment, crazed brother.

Lalaith reached for his arm, but he shook her off. While Elhith attempted to do something Haldir was past him before he got the chance.

When their paths split, Haldir decided to follow Rumil, intent on catching the initiator. While Rumil yelled back apologies, Haldir didn't listen, only wanting to catch him at the moment. Yet just as he got close, he was suddenly caught and stopped. He squirmed, trying to get loose and caring little about who was holding him. "Let go," he commanded.

"I do not think that would be wise," the person answered, now obviously Sauron. "Although in this situation, considering how you have reacted and the threat involving pain and all that which you just made, I have never identified closer with you, something tells me that preventing you from taking him out would be in your best interest."

Haldir didn't want to acknowledge that he had a point.

"If I let go, you won't chase them, will you?" Sauron asked.

"No," Haldir said quietly.

"Alright." Sauron then let go.

Haldir took an angry breath, itching to dart after Rumil. "Look at what they did though!"

"I know, but it's done. Yet I don't believe that your happiness at that revenge would last long."

"Since when did you care?" Haldir snapped.

Sauron frowned thoughtfully. "I don't know. Hmm… that's a bit disturbing."

Finally Haldir was calming down, simply feeling disheartened now. "Yes, it is a little," he said, sighing. "But you're actually right. As much satisfaction as I might get from doing terrible things to them, it would only be temporary."

"There, that's a very elvish thing to say… or at least closer than it had been."

They went back towards the kitchen, Haldir dejectedly sitting down in a chair. Within moments Lalaith and Elhith appeared, sitting at the table too. Orophin and Rumil did well to stay away.

For a bit they just stared at Haldir, but finally Lalaith dared to ask. "What happened?"

"Far as we got, Orophin and Rumil decided to pull a joke on him," Sauron supplied.

"But what did they put in that couldn't come out?"

Prodding his hair, Haldir replied. "I have no idea."

"You can't leave it that way though," she said.

"Knowing his miff about hair, it would take a lot to get him to go in public with it looking that way," Sauron said.

Having thought about what these facts would have to mean, Haldir groaned.

"Haldir," Lalaith said gently.

"Yes?" he said, although he could guess what she would say.

"You're going to have to cut your hair."

He sighed, and then nodded. "I know."

"Do you want to get it over with then?" she asked him.

He nodded slowly and got up, as did Lalaith. Without another word, leaving Lalaith to excuse them, he went out of the room.

Once he was sitting down in a chair by the mirror, Lalaith looked at his hair. "I still don't know what they made that could do this and not come out," she said in slight wonder.

"If I ever find out, they will be learning the finer points of its texture with hair in it," he grumbled.

Lalaith laughed softly. "Oh Haldir, hair grows back."

"Yeah, something that you'll be able to remind them of too."

She did not reply until she had scoped out his hair, seeing how much damage had been done. "And?" he asked.

"Three, four inches if you are lucky."

"Ugh," he groaned.

"At least it's something. You should be a bit happy, I mean, the fact that you aren't going to lose it all is good."

"Well three inches is a bit different from what it was before!"

"I know, but we can't do anything about it now." She paused. "Ready?" 

"…Yes."

"That wasn't very convincing."

"Yes! Just go!"

There was just a second of silence before Haldir heard clipping next to his ear. For the next couple minutes he listened as his hair was cut, seeing it fall to the floor around him in globs. "It's all cut," Lalaith finally said, just a few parting snips left as she found other little knots of the goo.

"You're done?"

"Yes. Turn around and look."

Haldir didn't at first. Ever since he had been young his hair had been long. He had never cut it until it reached a certain length, after which he had just trimmed it to keep it that long. He couldn't even remember when it had been short.

"Come on, you're going to have to get used to it eventually. I think it looks okay."

At her urging Haldir turned and looked at his reflection. And then for a while he just stared.

"Well…" he said finally. "It's shorter."

"Did I do alright?" she asked.

"Fine," he replied, tousling his short hair, trying to let it sink in that it was his. Through his newly formed bangs, Haldir saw both Sauron and Elhith come up.

Not to much of a surprise, Sauron spoke up first. "It's a new look for you, that's for sure."

"Yes, you could say that," Haldir responded, pushing the hair back so that he could see better.

"Doesn't look too bad actually," Elhith noted.

"Not much I could do if it did look bad though."

Lalaith put her hand on her hip. "Do you think that I would give you a bad haircut?"

"No, I have complete faith in you," Haldir said, managing a small smile. "It's just that there was limited hair to work with."

She smiled too. "I can accept that answer. So you'll be able to live with it then?"

"I suppose," Haldir consented.

"That's a boy!" she smirked, brushing off his shoulders. "Well, I'll try to see where those lunatics went off to. I'll be downstairs if you need me."

Then it was just the three of them. With a grin, Sauron stepped up closer. "How long will that take to grow out again?" he asked.

Haldir pondered for a moment. "Two, two and a half years."

"Just don't appreciate what you have until it's all gone, do we?" he asked.

"Probably not. Speaking from experience yourself?"

Sauron nodded. "Of course, although I would rather that I wasn't."

Haldir pulled up a bit of his hair, eyeing its length. "It's so short," he said, still a bit unbelieving.

"That it is," Sauron replied.

"You aren't the only one around with short hair though," Elhith said.

Haldir gave him a look. "Really? Care to tell me where the others with short hair happened to be cause I haven't noticed them anywhere."

Elhith frowned. "Um… I've seen them around."

"I feel like a loner," Haldir mumbled as he leaned against the table, setting his head on his hands.

Sauron leaned over by his shoulder, looking at him in the mirror. "But I thought you'd always feel like that," he said with a smile.

"Ai ai ai," Elhith sighed, shaking his head and going downstairs.

Haldir decided that he wouldn't acknowledge Sauron's remark. Once he seemed to realize this, Sauron tried a new tactic. "Well you know, now that I see how important hair seems to be, maybe I should take more thought to mine, do you think?" he asked, flipping some of his long black hair over his shoulder and continuing to grin.

Haldir furrowed his brow. "Going to flaunt it now or something, hm?"

"Now I have a reason to. I am willing to take some time out of my day on the rather useless and ridiculous practice of styling one's hair if my doing so would irritate you."

Haldir didn't reply.

"It would, wouldn't it? That here I still have all my hair while I could care less about it and you have, well, three inches short of none."

"No, I don't mind if you decide to do that. In fact, it would probably be good for you. Although its condition compared to when you first got out of Mandos is considerably better, it wouldn't hurt for you to take a mind to it a bit more than you do."

Nodding, Sauron stood up and brushed the hair back. "I suppose. But we'll just see about your reaction to it after its been done. I'm sure I can find a way for it to aggravate you."

"I won't even honor it with a reaction, so you'll just be wasting your time," Haldir shot.

Sauron laughed, but it was once again his condescending sort. "We'll see, we'll see," he said as he walked away.

Haldir turned back to the mirror, looking at his reflection for a moment more before sighing. As Lalaith had said, he'd have to get used to it eventually, but at the moment eventually looked far off.

:::::

Poor Haldir. Ah well. Hehehe. Oh yes, and I was going to ask, since I am on vacation and can actually do something about it, if anybody knows how to make websites and would mind helping me make one, I would be soooooo grateful. ...Please.


	29. Can I Keep Her?

Okay, yes, I've been terribly naughty with the update. But school started and it's a bit worse than I had anticipated… so just work with me on that. I'm gonna start to try and have a little chapter progress thing on my bio if anybody cares… Uh, yeah. So I'll save the wind for the responses!

XNemesis: Haldir has gotten his style kicked up a bit, heh. And Sauron just can't do what he wants. He lost that privilege. English should… bakunka itself. So there.

Ruler-of-Da-World: And you did produce a good picture. Twas amusing. And Lalaith is sane at least for the moment. Muahaha. And you'll just have to wait for Sauron's leverage. Muah.

kingmaker: Hehe, yeah, it wasn't meant to be an AU. I'm really sneaky! Hehehe... But I'm glad that the way I worked that out made sense. Also, I'm glad you like how I've written Sauron so far, it can be tricky at times so it's good to know when it works! Mmm… oh yes! I read about half of your fic, but then I haven't been able to get back to it yet. But I will, promise!! And I had a very nice vacation, thank you. Still lamenting the lose of it.

Meso: Sadly I don't pity Haldir. I get a very twisted pleasure out of torturing my characters. So sad.

Midnight Proc: Heh, I figured that you might have trouble with Rumil. I did too. I'm cool with it now. Heheheh. Go … sorta!!

Feagliniel: Ooo, a fitting title! Yesss! I still think they should let script form things stay up. Doesn't make sense that they don't. Heh… go Rumil.

Kit Cloudkicker: Bald? …. That would be scary.

Phoenix Golden Fire: Yes, I knew it took forever. And this one took forever too. I feel bad about that, but there seriously was nothing I could do. I'm even skipping watching a movie right now to update! But I'm glad the wait seemed to be worth it… I liked that chapter too. I laughed evilly many many times. Hehehe. And this chapter is not so good… more of a filler… but I think the one after this should be good. Hopefully. And but of course you'll just have to see. Never give away the secrets!

JadedFire: Are there really that many humor fics with Sauron in them? I haven't really delved into that… since I don't really have time and it kinda scares me to be frank. Hehehe, but I'm glad it's turning out well! I try really hard! Thanks for putting me on your favorites list!

Spoofmaster: Well, I didn't have 300 when I asked you punk!!

Dark Borge Drone: There are many people who side with Sauron… that interests me. He just irks me to be honest. Heh… which is probably why I like manipulating his character to make him irk me less.

Black Thunder44: Yea! I'm glad the chapters have seemingly gotten better!!

AzureDragoness: I'm a genius? That's the way to boost a person esteem!! Heh, oh well I'm glad you liked that. I hope you like the others ones to come as well.

Demonica: …Wow. You actually read it? I'm surprised and pleased at the same time! Wah. I hope you read more… and I hope you're not confused about stooooff. And yeah, Rumil was a bit evil. Go him. Ha.

Twisted Mary Sue: So the brothers are okay thus far? I'll try to keep it that way. And I'm not ignoring you, am I? At least not now.

OKAY! I kinda made them short as I'm pressed for time. But anyways, I hope you enjoy this very long overdue chapter. I'll try to be more prompt on the next one but I make no guarantees!!

Haldir was sitting in the kitchen, curled up in a chair reading. Actually, he was doing more zoning out than reading. He had opted out of sitting in what had become the living room as Rumil and Orophin were both in there and he was still pretty upset with them. It had been two weeks, but until his neck stopped feeling so cold he wouldn't be over it completely. They still had a ways to go before they got in his good graces again.

Elhith and Sauron were both in there as well, doing who knew what. Frankly he didn't really care, they both were perfectly able to look after themselves. Haldir would even give Sauron the credit lately for that. Sauron had amazingly been acting in a pretty decent manner since Haldir's siblings had arrived, and Haldir had decided to slacken off a bit and give him some room in return. Interestingly enough, this added space seemed to put both on better terms with the other as well.

Suddenly Haldir wondered where Lalaith had been. For the better part of the day she had been out around the city with Elhith and Orophin, but he hadn't seen her since she had gotten home. It seemed slightly odd, but he didn't take time to consider it deeply. She was female after all and put on airs at times. Perhaps this was nothing different.

With a shrug, Haldir turned back to his book, reading it a bit more earnestly. However he had only read a few paragraphs when he heard a dull thud from above.

Frowning, he slowly got up and made his way to the stairs. After standing there for a moment, waiting to see if anybody else would come along, Haldir made the way up by himself.

All of the doors upstairs were open, except for the one to Lalaith's room. Frowning slightly, he went to the door and knocked. "Lalaith?" he asked slowly.

There was no answer.

"Lalaith, are you in there?" Haldir ventured again, knocking a bit louder.

Suddenly the door opened a crack and Lalaith stuck her head out, smiling. "What do you need Haldir?" she asked, almost mechanically, her mind obviously somewhere else.

Haldir's frown deepened. "What are you up to?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Lalaith asked, taking on a look of innocence that had only worked for a while many many years before.

Now Haldir's suspicion began to rise. "Don't use that ploy with me, you know it won't work. What are you trying to hide from me?"

Lalaith bit her lip for a second. "It's really nothing Haldir. I have everything under control. You can go downstairs again; you don't need to worry about a thing."

"Lalaith-" he began, but was suddenly stopped when he noticed something poking out from under the hem of Lalaith's dress.

Looking closer, Haldir was able to identify the thing as the head of a cat. "Lalaith!" he exclaimed, drawing her attention to what he was looking at as well.

Quickly, yet too late to fix the damage, Lalaith hooked the hem over the cat's head. "You didn't see anything," she said quietly.

Haldir sighed. "What do you think you're doing, bringing a cat here?" he asked her, looking as the cat made its way out again.

Lalaith leaned down and picked the kitten up, scratching its neck. "Haldir, it was just wandering on the street, I had to bring it back!"

"It could have been somebody's, I'm sure people let their animals go around free sometimes."

"But you only see it now! You didn't see it when I got it, all dirty and covered in filth. I doubt that anybody would let their cat get so nasty," she said, smiling down at the gray kitten as it purred at her.

Haldir continued to frown. "Why didn't you tell me or ask about it first instead of trying to hide it?"

Lalaith gave a small smile. "If you had seen her when I first brought her here, I doubt that you would have even let me come in the door, she looked that bad. I figured that my chances were better if I could clean her up a bit."

Sighing, Haldir shook his head. "I don't know Lalaith, there are other people around too who might not like cats. It's not fair to them to just let it stay here if they don't want it."

"Elhith and Rumil helped me get her and agreed that she needed a home. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

"So two people. What about Orophin and Iaewur then?"

Lalaith frowned thoughtfully. "I don't think Orophin would mind. And of course, if he does, I could just ask Rumil to change his mind about it," she said with a mischievous smile.

"That wouldn't be playing fair," Haldir said, although he was slightly amused that Lalaith would use such a tactic. At least he couldn't be blamed for her picking it up.

"I think that the end would justify the means in that case," she said, holding the small kitten closer to her.

"Alright, so even if Orophin does say that it's okay, what about Iaewur?"

This time Lalaith did not have a ready answer. "I guess I'll just have to ask him if he's okay with there being a cat in the house."

"And if he says no?" _Which I think is highly likely _Haldir went on to think.

"He'll say yes."

Haldir raised a brow. "You're sure?"

"Of course. Who could say no to something so cute?"

Haldir covered his laugh with a cough. "Seriously though, what if he doesn't say yes?"

She sighed. "I'll find somewhere else for the cat to live."

"I'll hold you to it too," Haldir said, nodding. "All right, now go ask."

Lalaith had made her way about three steps when a thought finally occurred to Haldir. "Wait a second."

Pausing for a moment, she turned back. "What?"

"I heard a thud up here. What was that?"

Shrugging, Lalaith turned back to the stairs. "The cat was just a bit clumsy is all."

Haldir sighed. All they needed was a clumsy cat in the house. As though the place wasn't full of a hodgepodge of people as it was, they should just add a klutzy kitten to the mix.

After a moment, he made his way downstairs as well, going into the living room to see how things would go over with the cat. Haldir figured that it might be a little amusing at least. More so than standing in a hall anyways.

Once down, he peered around the corner into the room, a smile instantly breaking across his face at the sight before him.

Rumil and Orophin were sitting on the ground, playing a game that Haldir vaguely remembered, while Elhith sat in a chair near them. It seemed likely that he was being taught how to play; in fact, there were a few of the pieces in his hand. All three of them were turned towards the couch however, which had drawn most of Haldir's interest as well.

Sauron was laying down on the couch a bit uncomfortably with Lalaith sitting gingerly on the edge next to him. However it was apparent that Lalaith sitting there wasn't what was making him uncomfortable. It was the kitten that had curled up on his chest which seemed to be the center of his attention at the moment.

Haldir had just had long enough to assess the scene before him when Lalaith spoke. "You wouldn't mind if I kept her, would you?"

Just as she spoke, the kitten stretched, digging her small claws into Sauron's tunic. Grimacing and biting his lip, Sauron wrenched the cat off of him by the scruff of her neck.

After eyeing the cat disdainfully for a moment, all while rubbing his chest, Sauron slowly looked over at Lalaith.

Even from where he stood, Haldir could see Lalaith's pleading expression. She must have really wanted to keep that cat. It was rare for her to have such an expression.

Finally Sauron dropped the kitten into her lap. "So long as it doesn't get into my room," he said at last, picking up the book which was laying next to him.

Lalaith smiled, a look of relief flashing across her face. "Thank you," she said, touching his hand momentarily as she stood up.

Sauron looked down at her hand, then up at her, raising a brow in slight surprise. "You're welcome…" he replied slowly, then blinked and turned back to his book.

Nestling the cat in her arms, Lalaith walked over to Haldir. "I told you he would say yes," she said, grinning from ear to ear.

Haldir returned her smile absentmindedly, going into the room and sitting in a chair next to Sauron. Both Orophin and Rumil eyed him warily, which Haldir took smug satisfaction in. Served them right.

Once they started their game and conversation again, Haldir leaned back in his seat and looked at Sauron. "And what prompted that?" he asked.

"What?" Sauron asked in turn, flipping the page.

"You let her keep the cat. I didn't think you would."

"Figures," Sauron said as he continued to read.

That made Haldir pause for a moment. "Figures?" he echoed.

Sauron looked up at him for a second. "Yes, it figures," he said not long after. "You always expect me to do the most negative thing possible."

"Well, when have you given me reason to think otherwise?" Haldir retorted.

Finally Sauron shut the book, keeping a finger in to hold his spot. "When have I given you reason? How about when two weeks ago you asked me to act amiably? How about that night when I didn't completely lose my cool around them when they were talking about my defeat to my face? How about the two or three times when it was all that I could do to keep myself from strangling you? Or how about-"

"Okay, okay, I get it, I'm sorry," Haldir muttered, deciding that Sauron had been listing things long enough to justify his point.

Sauron frowned for a minute, and then turned his attention back to his book.

"But why did you let her keep it?" Haldir ventured.

With a sigh, Sauron looked up at him again. "I didn't care if she kept it or not. And I'm just not in the mood to ruin other people's day right now. However, had it been a dog, that would have been a different story," he said, his tone darkening just slightly.

"I suppose." He paused briefly. "So you don't mind cats then?"

"Obviously not," Sauron said, ignoring him for the most part.

"Why not?"

"Why so many questions Haldir, why?" Sauron asked, looking at him exasperatedly.

Haldir shrugged. "I told you I was inquisitive."

"About all the trivial things you can find to pick at," Sauron grumbled, setting his book away again. "Okay, I'll play twenty questions with you since you seem so fond of that game. You've already used…five I believe."

"I think it was six," Haldir said quietly.

"Fine, six! Even better!" Sauron said, throwing his hands in the air. "Now, where were we?" he asked, feigned enthusiasm in his voice.

"Why don't cats bother you?"

"Well, they are fairly clean animals and are also quite independent, which means that I don't have to care about them because they are out of my way most of the time!" he said, continuing to be annoyingly upbeat.

Haldir couldn't really think of anything else to ask.

"Come now, I haven't got all day! You still have thirteen questions left!"

"I thought I had used six."

Sauron smiled slightly. "I'm counting the repeat as one. So you only have thirteen."

"Ah," Haldir said, nodding. "Well… why don't you want to ruin today for people?"

"I already answered that: I don't feel like it. Sometimes I just don't care enough to want to go through the trouble."

"Even when an opportunity presents itself?"

"Yes, even then."

"So, does that mean you're in a genuinely good mood today or something?"

Sauron frowned thoughtfully. "I guess you could call it that. Although I'm not really happy, which seems to be something that would go along with being in a good mood."

"Oh. Well, then what would you call it?"

"Nothing. I don't take time to go around making names for my feelings, honestly," Sauron said, shaking his head. "Nine. Try something more original, or at least more intellectual, if you don't mind."

Haldir scowled at him for a second. "What… is… mmm… your favorite vegetable?"

Sauron gave him a positively baffled look. It was an expression exactly between being confused and being disturbed. One of those 'what the…?' looks. Haldir couldn't remember Sauron having done that for a while. "Um… well, that was original, but it was really lacking in the intelligence area," he finally said.

Knowing that it was the truth, Haldir just nodded. "Yes, it was."

After looking at him for a moment, Sauron just shook his head. "I think that you're done."

"I think so too."

"We can just say it was ten questions instead of twenty and spare me the trouble of having to even be subjugated to such illogical and random queries. Go help your sister find… cat… stuff, or whatever."

"Okay," Haldir said, figuring that it was as good an idea as any.

As he made his way slowly up the stairs, he reflected back a minute before, and wondered where in the name of all that was sacred that he had come up with vegetables in a question.

Again he found Lalaith's door closed, and knocked shortly before opening the door a tad.

No sooner had he done so that Lalaith exclaimed for him to stop and the kitten scurried out the door and down the stairs.

"Great Haldir!" she sighed, jumping up from her bed and running to the door and past him. "You know knocking is rather pointless if you do it without waiting for an answer!" she called back over her shoulder.

Haldir took a moment to catch up with everything, but as soon as he did he hurried back downstairs again, looking for the runaway cat. He wondered if the cat's klutziness would help them find it. Only thing being was that at the same time he hoped it wouldn't. Haldir could just about see various objects crashing to the floor.

Yet they did not need to look long. In fact, only a few moments after Haldir caught up with Lalaith in the kitchen the kitten was brought back to them.

Sauron, who looked just slightly annoyed by the whole thing, came into the kitchen. In one hand he was holding his book and in the other the kitten, who was, oddly enough, purring quite loudly. "I have a feeling that you're looking for this," he said, trying to remove the cat from where it had nestled up in the crook of his arm.

"I'm so sorry," Lalaith quickly apologized, hurrying over and prying the reluctant cat from Sauron's arm. "Thank you for bringing her in."

Haldir cocked an eyebrow, looking at the cat. What sort of freak kitten was it?

Picking some of the hairs from his shirt, Sauron shook his head. "Think nothing of it," he said before returning to the other room.

As Haldir was still pondering what sort of disease the cat must have had for it to take such a liking to Sauron, he did not notice Lalaith smile slightly beside him for a moment. "What?" he asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

Lalaith looked at him and shrugged. "He hasn't talked much to me since we got here," she said at length.

"Who?" Haldir asked.

"Iaewur."

Heh, if only we all were that lucky Haldir thought to himself.

"He seems polite though."

Once again Haldir was forced out of his thoughts. "Who?"

Lalaith gave him a look. "Who were we just talking about?"

"You're still talking about him?" Haldir asked, frowning.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Maybe because he's Sauron and he really isn't that polite! Haldir thought, yet aloud said "I don't know. Just clarifying."

Still looking at him in a way that seemed to imply that she thought he was acting strangely, Lalaith made her way out of the kitchen. "Oh, and remember," she said, pausing at the hall, "when you knock, give me a moment to answer it, all right?"

Haldir nodded. "I'll remember for next time."

"Good," she said, and then left.

Haldir went back to his corner in the kitchen, picking up his book from the chair and sitting down heavily. He had a feeling that something should have occurred to him, but nothing did. So he simply sighed and opened his book again, trying to wave away the thought.

It didn't work so well.

That was a bit short, I know, but I'll have more up… sometime. Maybe I'll try writing out my chapters in my English comp book. Hehe. I can just see my teacher reading that now…


	30. Of Owies and Booboos

Oh oh! How special do you feel? I got another chapter out in less than a week. Just… don't ever expect something like this again because it probably won't happen. I have no idea how it even happened this week… but I just pushed myself to start the chapter and worked on it a bit every night. And I didn't have much homework, amazingly… so that helped.

Kit Cloudkicker: Ah, well you see, if I put it in the notebook, I shall be killing two birds with one stone. I need to fill up the whole thing anyways… so why not with Rehab? I'd be more productive that way, I dare say.

Dark Borg Drone: Ah… well seeing as there isn't any way I could get hurt from such a thing… I think I will just dare to do it. Muahaha.

Phoenix Golden Fire: Yes I gathered who you were; you signed your last review with AAAClub. Hahahaha. But I can't remember the movie's name… it wasn't too good anyways. I saw the majority of it… and I could have lived without that. I love kitties… unfortunately my body does not. Such is life though eh? And yes, things get interesting…

Black Thunder44: Twisted cat. Perfect for that house…

Twisted Mary Sue: I'm glad you approve! Seriously. Fighting fictional characters eh? Kinda like how I want to pet fictional characters… and it just can't happen? Or when I poke the monitor… uuugh. Yeah. I don't find that fun, but you might. I dunno!

AzureDragoness: No, you can't beat that!! I think that the muses must have listened to you, because, well, obviously… I did get another chapter done really quickly. Hopefully I'll continune to do so!

Midnight Proc: Yes, go you Proc. Oh… Highland Games. Let's go watch the people rock out and break lose on their bagpipes! Anyways… I hope this chapter is good. Eh… heh. And no, he doesn't read the comp books, at least all of them. Just tiny pieces.

XNemesis: You'll learn the cat's name this chapter! And I'd try to do the comma thing, honestly I would, but it would also make me write a lot slower… and my main thing is getting the chapters out. So I am sorry, and I hope it doesn't bother you too much!

Demonica: The kitties are calling me, alas. Oh well. Um… I dunno why the kitty likes him. Cause it's a freak. Hahaha. And it would be nice if you kept up this year. Very spiffy indeed!

Ruler-of-Da-World: Hehehehe… Lalaith. Ah, she makes me laugh. And yes, Sauron is blind. And so is Haldir. Men are just that way though. Hahaha… I always thought it was funny that he called her his cat. That just cracks me up. I'm like "…it's a spider, punk." Ahh… oh well. And the many faces of Thu eh? Hehehe… well, you know, the first time Forkie tried to draw Thu smiling it took her like 15 minutes. It just wasn't right. Thu has 2 emotions: really really mad and really mad. He just… hates everything. All the time. Heh. Thu. Funny stuff. Yes, spread Thu around! Wah! Muehehehe.

Spoofmaster: Ah, well you reviewed. That counts for something!! And I'm very sorry about your story. When I rule the universe my friend…

Feagliniel: Ahhh Haldir. And… PINK! HAHAHA! Eh, yeah. We'll leave that there eh? Yes. I loved your little ramble. Twas amusing. And I know you love kitties. Osse still hmmm? Well, I'll see what I can whip up. Although that really was my best prose-ish one. Not so… whatever most of the chapters are like. Heh.

kingmaker: Thank you for your understanding!! I won't leave the fic, especially now that I'm getting to the part that I've somewhat mapped out by chapter something like… mmm… 8 months ago. So it's just, in my opinion, getting good. There's a psuedo plot thing going on! Yea! That… really makes me happy, obviously. Mmm… and I have seen a clumsy cat. Unless it was just a self abusive one. And I like dogs, depending. My dog is stupid and sleeps all day… so he's around if you want to pet something. Tevildo, ahh… I just read that… probably like two months ago. But I'm working on that book, slowly. Thank you for the luck in school! Same to you!

Kitty-Kat: Yes, it likes Sauron, odd little cat.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, so. Mm, what was I gonna say, oh! Oh yes. First, I want to say thank you here to Feagliniel for helping me smooth out some ehh… rough spots, I suppose, earlier this evening. And also for supplying the kitty's name (which means "treasure" when you get to it…). Second, mm, well, some of the following chapters might be awkward. But just stick with me, I know what I'm doing. So don't freak or anything. It's all good. Okay?

- - - -

The house suddenly became a flutter of activity during the next three weeks. Although between them, Rumil, Orophin, and Lalaith had a considerable amount of wealth (including that which Haldir had saved up while he had been alive), it became apparent that they would need to get some sort of job to support themselves. Three people had been able to live comfortably on the allowance that had been given to them, which Haldir actually thought he was doing plenty of work to earn, however doubling the number was something different entirely.

None of them questioned Haldir about why he got the allotted money, and Haldir obviously could not tell them. Once Rumil had began to ask him about it, but Orophin had promptly elbowed him in the rib. After that it had been something that they understood to be a subject which would not be spoken about.

So within a course of a week both Rumil and Orophin had gone out to find themselves jobs. Haldir wondered who would want riffraff like those two working for them. However he was surprised when, in two days, they both were employed at a weapons shop. At first Haldir hadn't been able to understand why there was even a weapons shop in Valinor, but then they had explained that it was for recreation and sport. With all the practical experience they had gained in Middle Earth, the owner of the shop had only been too eager to hire them. _For the moment at least _Haldir had thought, shaking his head.

Lalaith had offered to get a job as well, but all of the brothers had instantly told her that she did not need to do any such thing.

"Why not?" she had asked, hands upon her hips. "I'm staying here and eating just like the rest of you, why shouldn't I do my part to support myself?"

With a look at each other, Haldir spoke up on behalf of them all. "Well, we're sort of responsible for you now, since our parents aren't around."

"I am nobody's responsibility," she had retorted, the easily stirred pride of their family again rearing its rather unfavorable head. "I haven't been living with our parents for nearly 200 years now. So you do not need to worry about me; I can take care of myself."

By then she had almost stormed out of the room, but Haldir had reached out and grabbed her arm. "We are not underestimating what you're capable of. I for one think you've probably done more than Orophin and Rumil… together."

The other brothers began to object to Haldir's words, but a smile flickered over Lalaith's features. "Please, you do enough around here to count as a job for somebody. Please?"

She had been silent for a long minute, but finally nodded slowly. "All right. So long as you give me something to do; as soon as I become bored I'll be out of here looking for work. Clear?"

Haldir sighed, and nodded. "Fair enough."

With a long look at the three of them, as though to cement her words, she had then left the room.

Orophin then went to cook dinner, Rumil of course going along.

"You were in hot water there for a moment."

Haldir twitched in the attempt to keep himself from jumping in surprise. "You were listening?" was all he replied with.

"Be a bit hard not too when I was sitting in the same room," Sauron merely said.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop. It isn't a good habit to get into."

With a slight chuckle, Sauron had walked on towards the stairs. "You're only giving me more of a reason to do it."

The next day Rumil and Orophin started their jobs, the house becoming a much quieter place during the daytime hours. More and more frequently Elhith left to see to work around the city and a couple times he left for a day or two to help at the docks. And so it was commonly just Sauron, Haldir, and Lalaith in the house.

Haldir, at this time, began to feel a bit bored and, frankly, like a bit of a bum. There was not much he had to see to, he did not really have any friends, just acquaintances, and in all honestly there wasn't much he really wanted to do. All the same, it was not very entertaining.

Sauron seemed to have taken an interest in reading lately; he spent most of his time doing it. Within the course of the past three weeks he had already gone through one shelf of them and was on the third book from the second. While this took care of having Sauron bother him, Haldir was surprisingly ready to have some sort verbal battle. At least it was something.

All the same, however, once or twice Sauron vaguely brought up the fact that he still wanted to go have a 'chat with that cursed halfling,' which Haldir had promptly denied. Interestingly enough Sauron would merely simmer for a moment but not press the matter, looking as though every gear in his head was turning to figure out something he could hold over Haldir to get him to go. Haldir found this very unlikely and so did not worry too much.

Through this, Lalaith kept herself busy. She made meals for when everybody came back to the house at lunch, she cleaned, but above all she had spent her time with the kitten. She had within the space of a few days named the tiny gray cat Harma, and from there she had gone on to train it. Haldir noted with interest that the cat was more than willing to listen to everything she said. With the exception of one thing.

It was true that the cat took a disturbing liking to Sauron. Whenever the opportunity presented itself, Harma would find him out and then try a variety of things to get his attention: rubbing up against his legs when he sat at the table, meowing at him if he walked by her, jumping up on him when he was laying on the couch. The last seemed to have the most effect, especially when Harma would content herself with nestling up under his chin.

As often as it happened, Sauron never snapped about it or said anything to Lalaith concerning the interruptions. After a while he did not even take the time to look away from his reading; he would simply pick up the cat with one hand and set her down on the floor. Most of the time Harma seemed to get the message, for a while at least, and wouldn't jump up on him again.

Lalaith would scold the uncomprehending kitty for bothering Sauron, but Haldir had reason to believe that perhaps Harma never really bothered Sauron. A couple times when he had walked by the living room, Haldir had seen Sauron absentmindedly scratching the loudly purring cat's neck while holding his book up a little to see better. Although he would have gotten immense pleasure out of teasing Sauron for petting a kitten, Haldir strangely was able to restrain himself from doing so.

So now life had fallen into a predictable pattern, far more predictable than Haldir liked. If he didn't feel so unsure about leaving Sauron completely unwatched, Haldir might have gone out and found himself a job as well, just to do something.

Orophin and Rumil had both left about ten minutes earlier that day, and Sauron and Haldir were on dish duty. Lalaith had gone out even earlier that morning to shop for various groceries that they needed.

Scraping the leftover food off of another plate, Haldir cringed. "I hate doing dishes."

Sauron snorted. "Could be worse," he said while drying a glass.

Although he looked at Sauron for a moment, Haldir did not reply. "And what are you going to do today?" he asked, changing the subject. "Reading again?"

"Probably," Sauron responded, nodding. "There isn't much else to do really."

Haldir decided to remain silent then. It was often at such a place in their conversations that Sauron would bring up that something they could do would be to visit Frodo.

However Sauron did not bring it up this time.

After cleaning a few more dishes, Harma suddenly appeared, jumping up on the counter. She made her way around little puddles of water, meowing in an almost indignant way.

"You stupid cat, get away from the water," Sauron sighed, watching the kitten's progress. "You're going to get the clean dishes dirty again."

The cat didn't listen, instead just continuing on.

Finally Sauron set down his towel and went to pick Harma up, but she tried to dart behind a vase on the counter. However in doing this she seriously underestimated her size, causing the vase to promptly rock and begin to fall over.

Sauron, having already began to reach out, tried to catch the tipping vase. Yet it wasn't quick enough, and the vase shattered when it hit the counter just as Sauron's hand grabbed the lip of it.

Haldir closed his eyes, figuring that Lalaith would be having a word with him, when his ears suddenly rang with Sauron's angered yells.

For a moment Haldir couldn't understand why his stomach suddenly felt like it had knotted or why a sense of dread had fallen upon him, his ears prickling. And then it suddenly occurred to him that Sauron was speaking in another language.

It didn't take much thought to figure which one he would be speaking in that would have such an effect.

Haldir immediately opened his eyes, although his unease didn't disappear instantly, getting ready to scold Sauron. "What do you think you are doing, speaking your stupid 'Black Speech' here, in Valinor of all places!" he seethed.

Sauron looked at him over his shoulder, his expression absolutely venomous. "Because of this!" he hissed, turning and holding out his left hand, which before then he had been holding close to his body.

Instantly Haldir grimaced. Although he would not have said it aloud, Haldir admitted that, if what he saw had happened to him, he would have curse too in whatever way he could.

Sauron's hand was absolutely covered in blood, a couple dark blue shards of the vase imbedded in his palm.

At first Haldir just stared, not completely able to accept what he was seeing. For some reason, actually seeing that Sauron could be hurt seemed to bring him down even a couple more notches.

"Haldir," Sauron said tersely, however there was an undertone in his voice that hinted to him being anxious at the moment. His facial expression reinforced this: his jaw was clenched, the look in his eyes showing that he was really having to work to keep it together.

Coming out of his reverie instantly, Haldir tried to think of what to do. True, he knew basic medical things, however this was a bit out of his realm of knowledge. He had never learned to take care of wounds like that, since anytime something of that nature would happen would also be in a time when healers were around.

And then, by some stroke of luck, the healer of the family turned the corner.

While her hands were full of her purchases, Lalaith seemed to be able to sense that something was wrong. "Has something happened?" she asked cautiously, quickly setting her bags down on the table.

"He has glass in his hand," Haldir said a bit dumbly.

Lalaith's brows drew together questioningly as she came forward. "What do you me-" she began to ask, but by then Sauron had turned slightly to face her, allowing a view of his hand.

She opened her mouth slightly in surprise, but for only a moment. Then she instantly started the job that Haldir had been unable to figure out.

"Iaewur, would you sit at the table please?" she asked gently.

Sauron nodded his head wordlessly.

Without pausing a moment, she took one of the clean pots and filled it with water. "Haldir, get me a couple towels," she said authoritatively as she put the pot over the still burning fire.

"Anything else?" he asked meekly.

Lalaith shook her head. "I should be fine. Just the towels."

Haldir quickly went upstairs to the chest full of linens, pulling out the top few towels and then hurrying back downstairs.

Once he was there, Haldir set the towels on the table next to Lalaith, who was at that moment sitting down at the head of the table, Sauron in the chair to her left. "Thank you," she said automatically.

Haldir decided not to bother her by saying 'you're welcome,' instead starting to tell her what had happed as he sat down in the chair to her right, figuring that he should stay close incase she ended up needing something else.

Sauron had his hand laying out on the table in front of Lalaith, who was looking at the cuts and listening to Haldir. Through this Sauron did not look down at his hand, instead staring somewhere slightly above Lalaith's head, his other hand clenched tightly.

When Haldir finally came to the part with Harma causing the vase to tip, Lalaith glanced up quickly at Haldir. "No, she didn't," Lalaith said, unbelieving.

Haldir gave a small nod. "She did."

Lalaith's face promptly turned red with embarrassment, and she turned to Sauron. "If you want me to find a new home for her, I would understand completely," she whispered sadly, looking down again at the wounds.

Sauron blinked and looked at her, opening his mouth to say something a minute before anything came out. "You don't need to," he said after a long moment.

Haldir raised a brow in surprise, observing that Sauron's expression seemed to denote that he was a bit surprised with himself as well.

While she did not look up, Haldir could see the faint smile on Lalaith's face, although it did not last long.

Soon after Lalaith gave a quiet sigh. "I'm afraid this will hurt," she said softly, leaning back momentarily and looking up at him sympathetically.

Sauron just nodded, a small bitter smile turning at the corner of his lips. "Nothing that I'm unused to," he said.

Lalaith frowned slightly, but did not reply. Hesitating only briefly, she reached out with her left hand, and, with what Haldir decidedly found to be a superfluous amount of care, slid it under Sauron's. She put her thumb over his fingers, holding them back from the wound to allow her a clearer view. Then with the other she began to delicately pull out the pieces of glass.

Almost as soon as she started Sauron blanched, looking down at his hand as more blood seeped out of the cuts. Although she didn't look up at him, it seemed that Lalaith knew what had happened because she bit her lip, a habit that Haldir had learned to recognize as one she did when she was uneasy.

For a minute or so more Lalaith quickly removed all the glass, surprising Haldir with her skill. She seemed to find every single piece, taking out tiny fragments that Haldir knew he would never have been able to see.

Finally she leaned back, brushing some strands of hair back from her face with the back of her hand. "I think the water should be hot by now. Would you mind bringing me a bowl of it, Haldir? And also a bowl of cold water?" she asked, her voice easing as she spoke.

He nodded and got up, taking two bowls from a cabinet and going to the hearth. Not seeing a ladle or anything nearby, he simply dipped the bowl in, cringing slightly from the heat of the water. "Yeah, it's hot," he said quietly to himself as he filled the other bowl and walked back to the table.

Lalaith let go of Sauron's hand cautiously, then dipping one of the towels in the hot water and wringing it out. Gently she began to cleanse the wounds, her frown deepening at the amount of blood. Sauron, however, looked as though he was slowly becoming more comfortable.

Once she began to use to cold water to try and slow the bleeding, Lalaith too began to look less tense. "I think it should heal fine," she said finally. "Some of the cuts were pretty deep, which is why they bled so much, but they aren't very big. I considered putting in some stitches, but as I said, they weren't very big."

"So, will I just have to be careful with it then?" Sauron asked awkwardly.

"Well, you would have had to be careful with it either way," Lalaith said, grinning. "But yes, just try not to use it if you can help it. I'll bind it up as soon as I can find some dressings for it."

"There should be some in Elhith's room, I would think," Haldir put in.

"I know I've been asking for you to run a lot of errands, but would you mind getting that for me Haldir? You've known him longer; I wouldn't feel comfortable going into his room."

Wordlessly Haldir complied, again making his way upstairs. Having been in Elhith's room a couple times before, Haldir could vaguely recall seeing where Elhith kept the sort of things he figured Lalaith was looking for.

As he had suspected, Haldir was able to find the small box, grabbing it quickly and going back downstairs a bit slower, figuring that there wasn't as much rush this time.

Handing the stuff to Lalaith, Haldir again flopped down in his chair, figuring that it might be wise to clean up the mess of glass scattered over the counter and on the floor. And it might not have been so good for everybody to come back home and see that and the bit of blood on the counter.

He then decided that he could give it a moment more.

While he considered this, Lalaith began to bandage Sauron's hand up. She frowned thoughtfully for a second, and then spoke. "Would you mind if I asked you a question?" she asked him.

Sauron frowned slightly as well, but then shook his head. "Go ahead."

"I don't mean to be rude," she said quickly, pausing for a moment before going on, "and so if I am, I'm very sorry. But what happened to your finger?"

Haldir, who had been listlessly looking at this rainbow pattern that was on the ceiling from one of the windows, instantly looked down at Sauron. At the same time, Sauron looked over at him, however then his eyes snapped back to Lalaith. "I… lost it in a battle," he said slowly, looking down at his hand and the missing pointer-finger.

"I'm sorry," Lalaith said.

Sauron sighed. "So am I," he said quietly.

By that time Lalaith had finished and released his hand. "There!" she said, her voice falsely cheery. "You'll probably have to have it changed tomorrow, if not earlier. Just be easy with it, all right?"

Sauron nodded, and then frowned.

"What?" Lalaith asked anxiously.

He shook his head. "I just wanted to say… thank you," he said finally.

Haldir noted that with surprise. Had he just said thank you? And it seemed that he actually meant it.

Lalaith smiled brightly. "You're welcome."

And then, for the second surprise in a few seconds, Sauron actually smiled back. Haldir decided that it was probably a very good step in the right direction. He hadn't even needed to say anything about it!

Haldir looked back at Lalaith then. She had smiled even wider by that time; honestly, she was practically beaming! And upon looking closer as she bent her head and turned to go, Haldir was positive that she was blushing.

For a moment he sat there, thinking deeply at what this meant. He knew that he only had to give it time and it would come to him. So he leaned back in his chair, his hands behind his head, waiting for it… it would hit him any moment…

And suddenly it did, and the force of it made him tip so far back in his chair that he fell over.

- - - -

Poor Haldir. I actually do almost feel bad for him….


	31. Haldir's Series of Bad Choices

Aaaaahhh haha. Yes, I'm back. Took long enough, I know. But school is evil. Especially history. Wah. It's okay though… I have a four day weekend again. Weee. Those are always good. So my goal of the weekend was to write a chapter. And I did! Ergo, I feel much better. I accomplished something! …Now for homework.

Anyways, thank you all for bearing with me on this… I'll try to update as often as I can!

Reeeeeviewers!

Dark Borg Drone: Haha… yeah, Sauron wasn't so bad in the LAST chapter. But times change… I have a beta fish. It's name is Hal, not from Haldir, but from the little elvish word part meaning "little fish." Yes, I look up useless stupid things.

Ruler-of-Da-World: …I just had this scary mental image when you were talking about maia being the sort to read… and I think I'll keep it to myself. Haha… verbal arguments… yeah, those will show up again. "But he's insane and doesn't count." Yeah… that about wraps that up!! Mary Poppins? Haha… no, I don't think so. Maybe he taught her all he knew, hm? I've been waiting to bring the finger thing up ever since I had this part of the story planned…. Which was a long time ago. Haa. Ah… and you and your Elrond shirt. Nice.

XNemesis: Well, Haldir and Sauron are both dense and don't notice it. And egging her on…? Not yet… La… oh, and I truly am sorry about the comma thing. I just… if I don't know where I'm missing them, I can't fix it. I am sorry it bothers you though. Really.

Spoofmaster: No poor Sauron. Sauron sucks. He killed Finrod. Bloo.

Kingmaker: Yeah, Valinor probably has a secret weapons area labeled "Just on the Off Chance Something Fluky Happens With Sauron…" Mm… well, Haldir hasn't been around the female gender much, I mean, even around Lalaith much. So he's not really sure how to go about things with her, I don't think. But he tries… just doesn't do well. And as for wounds… it's one thing for somebody else to have it, and quite another for you to. Also, I suspect him to be a bit, uh… careful around his phalanges, so having something happen so close to that are might be a bit nasty, you know? And thank you for your compliments, it's those sort of comments that keep me going!

Midnight Proc: Hahaa… Poor Lalaith. I pity her somewhat. Then again she's fictional so not really. But you'll get to know all about the lovely little happenings once Haldir takes some actions to his realizations…

Phoenix Golden Fire: Mmm… I'm evil and fantastic? Okay. Haha. Um… Again, sorry that the update wasn't as prompt, but I'm doing what I can. Hopefully this is okay…

Mistress Koishii: Well, that was right to the point!

Black Thunder44: I hope they continue to be great chapters!

AzureDragoness: No, definitely not something you want to reason out. Oo… Icecream? Squee! I like ice cream… too bad my dad is sugar-phobic. And my mom can't reason with him on it so… hm. You know, the sad thing about this is I knew EXACTLY where I wanted to go… I just actually didn't have the time. Which stinks, cause all the ideas are floating in your head, but you can't let them out! Ugh. But some are out now, that's good.

Crow: I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Hopefully you'll continue to do so!

FlameTalon: Oooo… that was a very nice compliment! Thank you thank you thank you! It would be nice to get paid… hehehe. Alas, I do not… yet at least. Maybe someday. That would be quite spiffy. Thanks for the review, that was speeecial.

Kit Cloudkicker: Yeah, the Valar are crazy. And so I am. Mixes well, yes? Ehehe… well, there wouldn't be a story if they hadn't let him out, would there?

Vorbariel: I agree with you, and yet I disagree… just because I know where I'm going and the crap is coming up. So you just have to give it time, I'm dipping my feet in the bakunka in this chapter. Patience! It's coming.

GollumRox: You know I don't like talking on the phone. We all must make sacrifices. Neur. I mean, hel-LO? My slug!

JadedFire: Well, you could see a possible romance… but… you'll just have to read I guess. Ha.

Grammar nazi: Tevildo, yes? Well… I did think about that when I went to write the chapter, but then I figured that since that was in the Lost Tales, and in fact the part talking about cats that way really was later replaced with Sauron in Tol-in-Gaurhoth and all that… so I decided that the whole cat thing might have been abandoned and that I could just say that elves could like cats in that case. So… there was my reasoning!

Randa: I'm glad that you're enjoying it! That is good! I would like to use your suggestion… but I pretty much have the rest of the story mapped out now. Otherwise I'd probably be able to sneak it in. But there shall be pranks in the future… that's in the map!

Aaaah, wow. That was a lot. I feel quite loved. Haa… well. This chapter might not be the most humorous… I personally feel like it has more head slapping moments. But that's just the way it went! This sets up the events for… well… I guess it starts the chain for what remains of the story. So maybe it's a bit more plotty… I dunno. But I hope you enjoy it either way!

…

She loved him!

Haldir blinked up at the ceiling from his position on the floor, so baffled that he didn't even think about getting up for a moment. It was just too much for his brain to handle.

Slowly he sat up, rubbing his head where he had hit it on the floor. Haldir was just glad that Sauron had left the room a moment after Lalaith and so had not been present when he had been hit with his nasty realization.

No, he quickly told himself. There had to be a more logical explanation than that. It didn't make sense! It was the most ridiculous thing he had ever considered!

As he picked up the chair from the floor and pushed it back under the table, Haldir tried to think of a more reasonable conclusion. Unfortunately, however, the more he thought about it, the more cemented it was in his head. The idea wouldn't shake loose; it obstinately glared in his thoughts, demanding to be the only answer.

It was too much. What was Lalaith thinking? Haldir quickly came to the realization that she wasn't. If she was, this wouldn't have happened.

So, if she wasn't thinking, then something had to be done. Well… even if she had been thinking, Haldir wouldn't just have let it go. Lalaith might not know who "Iaewur" really was, but Haldir did, and that was all that really mattered at the moment. He would do something, save her from going down that road too far.

He would go talk to her. Perhaps, somehow, he was wrong in his deductions. Yet, if he was right, then he could smash the whole thing before it got too carried away. There wasn't any other choice but to talk to her.

So with that, Haldir marched from the kitchen, up the stairs, and to Lalaith's room.

The door was shut, leading Haldir to figure that Harma might be in there, so he was obligated to knock and wait for an answer. Haldir quickly got the okay to enter, and cautiously (on account of not wanting to let the cat out) entered the room.

Lalaith was sitting on her bed, Harma perched in her lap. As he came in, Lalaith looked up at him and smiled. "What brings you up here?" she asked cheerfully.

"We… need to talk," Haldir said hesitantly, feeling painfully awkward.

Although she did frown thoughtfully, Lalaith just nodded her head. "Well, sit down," she said, gesturing to her bed.

Smiling uneasily, Haldir sat down on the edge of the bed, scratching the back of his neck. _Where to start_? he asked himself, looking sidelong at his sister, who was obviously becoming more baffled by his behavior as the seconds passed.

"What do you need to talk about, Haldir?" she asked finally.

Haldir opened his mouth, trying to find a way to speak less bluntly than he usually did. "You did very well earlier," he said slowly.

Lalaith's expression betrayed that she was not fooled by his first comment and knew that there was something else. "Haldir, you've never been good at beating around the bush. Just put yourself out of your misery and say it straight, as you do best," she said with a small smile.

Although still drastically uncomfortable, Haldir did manage to return her smile somewhat. "I was just wondering…" he began, "what you're feelings for Iaewur happened to be…"

Unfortunately, rather than simply responding with something along the lines of 'why do you ask?' Lalaith promptly blushed, her eyes darting away from his the moment he had spoken. Haldir felt the pit of his stomach drop. All she was doing was confirming his worst suspicions.

"Well..?" he pressed for something more definite, wanting an answer and not really wanting one all at the same time.

Lalaith fiddled with a lock of hair for a moment. "I, um… well…" she muttered softly, still not looking at him.

"Lalaith?"

She raised her head, meeting his gaze for a brief moment before dropping it again and letting out a nervous laugh. "I'm not exactly sure myself…" she admitted finally.

However, it was not an 'I honestly don't know what I think.' It was an 'there's something, I just don't want to talk about it' sort of thing.

Haldir groaned. It was sick. It was just all sick. It made him want to pound his head on a table, hopefully killing wherever the knowledge of the whole thing lived in his mind. And to make it worse, he couldn't explain to Lalaith why it was so bad in a reasonable way. While keeping Sauron's identity had been a direct command to Sauron himself, it obviously ran off to everybody else who knew. So what argument could Haldir make to get Lalaith to stop having these 'feelings' which would carry any weight at all?

"Lalaith, I don't know what that means."

Lalaith's discomfort seemed to be at about the same level as Haldir's now, and she turned defensive. "Why are you asking me about this? Does it make a difference?"

If only you knew… "You're my sister," Haldir tried to explain. "I'm just trying to look out for you."

At this, Lalaith narrowed her eyes slightly. "Why would you have to 'look out for me' when it's over somebody who lives in this house who you apparently know?"

Yeah, and that _is why I have to look out for you_… "There are things about him that you don't know, Lalaith, and I think that it would be better if you were able to… un…like him, or something," he said haltingly, mentally smacking himself for his horrible abilities with language.

Something struck a chord this time, though, but Haldir didn't really think it was anything positive. "What don't I know about him?" she asked.

"Pretty much everything. I mean, you admitted that you rarely spoke."

"So?" was Lalaith's retort.

Haldir continued, shifting the topic just slightly. "He's not who you think he is."

Lalaith's demeanor was turning frosty. "Well, who is he then?"

Haldir sighed. "I can't tell you," he said softly.

"You can't tell me?" she repeated, raising a brow. "Then, maybe he'll tell me."

"He can't tell either."

"Then how do I know that this isn't just some weird thing you've made up to try and 'protect' me?"

"I wouldn't make something like this up, Lalaith! If you knew who he was, you'd understand!"

Lalaith rolled her eyes. "I'm sure." She frowned, shaking her head. "Stop being so overbearing; I'm not a little kid anymore."

Haldir gripped what he could of his short hair, sighing in frustration. "I know Lalaith, I know, but if you're not willing to even listen to me when I know what I'm talking about, you're not making a very good case for yourself."

As soon as he said it, Haldir knew that it was the wrong thing to say. "Is that so, Haldir?" she said icily. "You're just assuming that this is some childish whim then? I'm not capable of having responsible feelings or something?"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Haldir said quickly.

"No, I don't know it. You haven't given me one good reason why I should listen to what you're saying. In fact, the more you've said, the more you've disproved yourself."

Haldir couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had planned for trouble… but not trouble in the sense of her not listening. "Lalaith, please…"

"That's enough, Haldir," she said, the finality in her voice indisputable. "Please, go."

"I-"

"Just. Go," she stressed, resting against her wall, not looking at him as he left.

Haldir shut the door, leaning back against it with a frown. There was no hope of Lalaith listening to him now; no matter what he said, it wouldn't change anything. It was the stupid stubborn pride of their family, one of the traits that Lalaith had sadly been unable to escape as well.

He did want to save her as much heartache as was possible though. Who knew how long this could go on if let alone, and the thought of Lalaith just… _pining _away, as it were, was not favorable at all.

For a moment he waited there, thinking of ways to shorten the duration of this crazy mess. Obviously, he could not do anything from Lalaith's side. So that only left one other option: the other side. And that meant talking to Sauron about it.

Still, it was not a very nice thought. It was a bit embarrassing for Haldir to even _think _about telling Sauron that his little sister had taken a fancy to him. It was all wrong. He could just about envision Sauron's jeers for that… but it was risk Haldir was willing to take, to see if perhaps Sauron would do something. They had, after all, been getting along on decent terms lately, so maybe it would not be too difficult to persuade him to somehow put an end to Lalaith's hopes.

Haldir shuddered, his insides squirming from even having to consider it. Yes, it would be best to put an end to it before it truly got started.

A bit reluctantly, Haldir went downstairs again. He wasn't certain where Sauron had headed after leaving the kitchen, but he had a fairly good guess.

And true to that guess, Haldir found Sauron once again reading in the living room. Haldir was seriously starting to wonder what was so interesting in those books.

This time in trying to come up with his plan of how to approach the subject, Haldir was not even going to try and be tactful. It didn't help him at all. He would just say it. But in that was the main problem.

He sat on the chair next to the couch, not that surprised when Sauron ignored him. "Sauron?" he said, slightly exasperated, mostly from the fact that he didn't want to speak but had to.

Sauron looked at him over the top of his book.

Haldir opened his mouth to speak, but then all his thoughts blocked up and he wasn't able to figure out where to start.

After looking at him for a moment and letting out a long sigh, Sauron put down his book and sat up. "You know, it's times like these that I really wish I could still read thoughts…" he said under his breath as he relaxed back against the cushions. "You're free to talk whenever you want to, you know."

Shutting his mouth for a second, Haldir nodded. "I needed to say something which I'm not really that comfortable saying… that's why I'm having a bit of trouble here."

"'A bit' might be an understatement," Sauron muttered. "Anyways, go on."

"It's about Lalaith," Haldir said, trying very hard to prepare himself for the impending teasing he was likely to get from this.

Sauron raised a brow. "Oh?"

"Yeah," Haldir said with a sigh, looking at the ground. "She kinda happens to… like you… a bit."

There was a slight pause. "What?" Sauron asked, frowning.

"Do you really have to make me repeat it?" Haldir whined a bit.

Sauron shook his head at him. "What do you mean?"

"I meant what I said," Haldir snapped, not wanting to repeat it if he could help it.

"How'd you figure that out?" Sauron asked, seeming to be genuinely baffled at the moment.

"Just after she helped with your hand. I guess it was just a brother's realization or something… it just occurred to me suddenly."

"Well, couldn't you be assuming wrong then?"

Haldir shifted uncomfortably. "No, I went and asked her about it."

Sauron frowned again, putting his hands behind his head thoughtfully. "How did I miss that…" he wondered aloud, but then shook his head. He turned to Haldir again, a slight smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "So, why are you telling me this? There has to be some reason, because I know that you would _never _admit something like that without some motivation."

"True," Haldir conceded. "I was wondering if you could put an end to it, somehow…"

"Another favor, Haldir?" Sauron asked, an expression of 'you wish' on his face. "Last time I did that, I found something that I wanted not being granted…"

"Yes, but what you want is something you know I can't let you do!"

Sauron shook his head. "You could. There hasn't been anything forbidding me from seeing…" For a second his voice dropped, his eyes glaring daggers, but then his expression cleared. "… the halfling."

"I think it was one of those things that was so obvious that they didn't figure that they needed to tell."

"Well, maybe they should have," Sauron snipped.

"Anyways…" Haldir said, tiring of that topic as he always did. "Please? There's no reason to lead her on that way, and I don't want her to be hurt," Haldir said, disgusted that he was having to reason this out with _Sauron _of all people.

"Why don't you just talk to her about it?" Sauron asked slowly.

"I already tried… but I didn't do very well. Actually, I did bad. I think I made it worse, in fact."

Sauron smirked. "You would, wouldn't you?"

Haldir didn't reply.

For a few minutes Sauron didn't reply, clearly considering the matter. Haldir was not entirely sure what he was having to think about, but thought better than to ask.

Finally, Sauron looked at him again. Although his expression gave nothing away, Haldir had a feeling that something was not right. "Will you take me to Tol Eressea?" Sauron asked evenly.

Not exactly sure what was going on, Haldir shook his head. "No…."

"Are you sure?" he pressed.

"Yes."

Sauron smiled now, that malicious, impish, disgusting smile that Haldir hated. "Well, that being the case," he said, waving his hand, "I suppose I should tell you that I will do everything in my power to keep her feeling that way, and hopefully drag her down even more, until you take me to Eressea."

The words spun in Haldir's head for a moment, reluctant to make sense. Or rather, while they did make sense, he did not want to accept it. "What?" he said flatly.

"You won't take me to Eressea, and I want to go. You just spilled out a huge scenario that I can use to my advantage. Since you don't want your sister to continue 'fancying' me and all that, I'm going to do what I can so that she does. By my logic, you will eventually cave and give in to my request. At that time, I will subsequently stop my ruse and let her off."

Haldir's brain felt numb. He couldn't believe this. "How would you ever be able to pull something like that off?" Haldir asked, trying to find a hole.

Sauron continued to smile. "You'd be surprised at what I could pull off. Think of the rolls I've had to act out before. This is something I excel at. And after all, I did spend a lot of time around you elves in Hollin and observed most of your customs. Courting was one that was hard to miss."

"Stop." Haldir felt sick. It all had to be a dream. Maybe he was still laying on the floor of the kitchen after having fallen backwards in his hair. Unfortunately, his mind would not let him off that easily.

"I don't think there should be any trouble, though. Just talking about it is already getting to you. I have no reason to think that I'll have to toy with her feelings for a length of time that would do anything to permanently hurt her. For a while, maybe, but nothing of a substantial length."

As Sauron spoke, Haldir slowly felt his anger begin to bubble up. He was so dismissive of her feelings! It didn't matter at all! Although Haldir knew he shouldn't be surprised by that, somehow the fact that it was his sister, his poor, innocent, baby sister, that was getting dragging into the whole thing made it much worse. His ears were pounding, his head was ringing, and his jaw was clenched so tightly that it felt like he'd never be able to open it again.

And then Sauron said the words that pushed Haldir over the edge.

After having tapped his chin for a second, he spoke, his voice dripping with the twisted enjoyment he was getting from the whole thing. "But you know, it should be better than when I normally had to put up a false front. Previously, I always had to, in one denotation of the word, seduce men in positions of power to my side. This time I just have to seduce one misguided girl. The fact that she is decently fair doesn't hurt."

Haldir lost it. He wouldn't allow him to even _say _such things!

Perhaps it was not the brightest thing the elf had done. Sauron had always proved to be stronger than Haldir, but Sauron wasn't blindingly mad at the moment. Haldir's one advantage was the rage that absolutely consumed him.

He lunged, wrapping his hands around Sauron's neck. "HOW DARE YOU!?!" he bellowed, his grip tightening.

Sauron looked up at him, his face both shocked and puzzled at the same time. That being the case, he hadn't really started to try and get Haldir to let go yet.

"NEVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN! STAY AWAY FROM HER!"

Finally Sauron seemed to overcome some of his shock. "You're… holding a bit tight…" he rasped, grabbing Haldir's wrists and trying to dislodge his hold.

Haldir, however, did not let go. "Don't do it…" he whispered fiercely, slowly releasing him and standing up.

Sauron was considering Haldir as though he was a crazed maniac -- which at the moment he pretty much was -- and slid back up to his former position on the couch. His shock dissolved pretty quickly however, and as Haldir left the room, he piped up. "You know, I will still go through with it, even if you do rampage and all. And to be frank… I think you'd be making it worse in Lalaith's eyes by doing that."

Haldir acknowledged his words as likely to be true, but did not respond. Instead he just kept walking, out the room, until he met the nearest wall, where he proceeded to bang his head against its hard surface multiple times.

…

There it is! As I say, I'll update as I can… which might not be until the next long weekend when I can stay up until four in the morning and all that good stuff. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! Ooo… and on another note… GollumRox and I started a website… so I'll be posting the TTT spoof on there along with other random junk… maybe even some art. I'll have to see. So just check there sometimes, if you're bored. The link is probably on my bio!


	32. Brain Spasms On Both Sides

Oh yes, yes yes yes, I am back. I said I would write a chapter this weekend, and I did… I just didn't get it up. But I'll get it up today. Mmmm… well, this chapter was twitchish. Just… so you know. Made my brain twitch at least. Oh well. DEAL WITH IT! /Laughs evilly/ I've paid my debt, you can pay yours too now. Weee… being evil is fun! Okay, it's probably not that bad, I just ate a lot of fudge and probably happen to be high of the chocolatelyness. Bloo. Now I'll shut up.

Reviewer folk!

Just Curious: /smiles/ Heh… sorry. Couldn't be helped. I'm glad you are enjoying the story, and I know exactly what you mean. If I had more time, I could probably think or more stuff to do along that vein, but… I just don't. So I make each chapter center around one event or thing like that, and then call it good. But you have a good point, and I thank you for it. I wish I could do more about it though /sniff/…

Twisted Mary Sue: /blinks/ Games are fun. My bro and I play "Gauntlet: Dark Legends" or some such nonsense cause it's fun to laugh at its corniness. And I'm glad you like your job!

Dark Borg Drone: /tilts head to the side/ Interesting…

XNemesis: Haldir can be really stupid SOMETIMES? Uh, yes. And… I'm trying to get better about the comments. Really. And being amused is nice!

AzureDragoness: /smiles/ Yes, go Haldir! Sauron can take it… most of the time. /Eyes go big at the ice cream/ Yes, oh yes. I was inspired, I just didn't have time. Seriously… this year is doing as it said it would. /nod/ But hopefully you'll enjoy this too… I hope…

Black Thunder44: Hopefully what you find out is… okay… /grimace/

Crow: Yes, the plot thickens indeed. There actually happens to be a bit of plot… that counts. Well… I think Lalaith is a bit… well, she thinks Haldir is being difficult, and so thinks he's lying, I think. Yes. She's… yes. Poor her. Should be smarter.

Kingmaker: I love history! I love the class, I'm doing super well in it to beams a bit but that doesn't make it easy or fun all the time. It is a major reason why I have a lot of crap. And indeed it is nice to get to the point finally! Or close to the point at least. Yeah, Haldir kinda… ok, he really messed that up. He meant well and all, but… blah. Not very tactful. I wonder what is in those books too /rubs chin/. Squee-hee-hee… I'm glad that I've been portraying Sauron well. He was always the one that I wondered about writing… cause, well, he's Sauron. Hehe.

The Grammar Nazi: Yeah, I almost feel bad for Haldir sometimes. Then I remember that I tried to smash my heart with a hammer and therefore I laugh. Muahaha. /bow/ Well, I appreciate my readers taking the time to review for me. It makes ME very happy. I'm glad that me just responding to you could make you happy! That's quite spiffy.

Ruler-of-Da-World: Yes, yes they are. Frodo… is in the near future, yes. Very near future. Wahahaha.

Mistress Koishii: Hahaha! Lovely. Like the stress kit… sound painful though. Bet Haldir would know. I'm glad you like it. Please please continue to do so…

Spoofmaster: …I made you feel better? Well, that's neato. And if you were forgetting that he's a meanie, it was about time that I reminded you. …He is. Hehehe… and yes, he's a loser too. He always loses. That would be funny if Haldir kicked his bakunka. That would make me laugh too.

Midnight Proc: Wahahahaha… yes. Bad. That's sad that you liked his character. I just laugh at him and get mad at him cause he killed Finrod. Doesn't matter that he destroyed an entire race of people, or fed other people to dogs, of lit a person on fire, or ruined a whole area of land and all the people in there… the Finrod thing bugs me though. /shrug/ Mmm… yes. The only thing he really had any success in was manipulation. Blah… this chapter is just creepy. Oh well.

Feagliniel: He is a jerk, but what's new. Yes… poor Haldir. Haaa…ha. PA indeed! Hehehe… heh.

Okaaay… well. On to the chapter then. Heh… should have posted this sucker on Halloween snort. Anyways, onwards!

I:I:I:I:I:I

Haldir's life for almost the past four weeks had been a living hell. He could think of no other way to describe it than as such. Every morning he woke up with that unsettling feeling that there was something he had ought to remember, something that was not entirely pleasant, and it lingered with him until he finally was able to rub the sleep out of his eyes and had the revelation hit him square in the head. Then he would have the minute it took for him to change into his clothes to mentally prepare himself for what he'd have to put up with at the breakfast table.

True, for the most part he had not witnessed too much. After only one day, Haldir decided that he did NOT want to be in that house any more than he possibly had to be. Having decided that, he had gone along with Rumil and Orophin to the weaponry shop where they worked.

For a while he had entertained himself by browsing, intrigued by the variety of things there, many of which he had never seen before. Orophin, a bit more perceptive than Rumil, seemed to have realized that his brother was in a rather foul mood, although he did not inquire as to why, and had tried to take Haldir's mind off whatever it was that had been bothering him by explaining what all the odd weapons were and how they worked. While it had only been temporary, he had been able to go for an hour or so without thinking about poor Lalaith, who did not know what she was doing, and that damned maia who was trying to mess with Haldir's head.

Orophin had soon been obliged to see to the other people in the shop, and Haldir had been left to his own devices. He had wandered a bit more, finding the archery ranges, where he then paused for a while and watched the people practicing. For some reason, watching them had stirred the desire to practice in Haldir, and after finding the closest of his brothers and asking if he could use the range, he was equipped with what he needed.

Ah, it had been wonderful stress relief. Haldir had wondered how long it had been since he had held a bow; it felt like ages. There was something so comforting about the feel of it in his hands and the pleasure of still being as good as he had been in Lothlorien. He let the arrows fly like no other who was out there, off in the half dreamy world where he hardly had to think about what he was doing.

Actually, the only thing he had thought as he released the arrows and watched them hit his mark was how lovely it would have been to have a certain person sitting in front of the target. Unfortunately, while it was a nice thought, Haldir conceded that there was no hope of fulfilling it.

During the time he had been 'practicing,' he had unconsciously drawn some spectators, one of whom had been the owner of the shop.

"You shoot very well," he has said once as Haldir had retrieved his arrows.

With a start, Haldir had turned to look at him. "Thank you," he replied as he yanked the last arrow out.

"I'm guessing that you're Orophin and Rumil's brother?"

"Yes," Haldir said with a nod.

The elf smiled. "They have spoken of you before."

Haldir could not help but frown slightly. "I'm sure that what they've shared was in the best light," he remarked sarcastically.

With a small laugh, the elf shook his head. "No, I can say that they were right. Although the description was a bit vague, I gathered that you must have been a better shot than them."

"They actually admitted that, even vaguely?" Haldir asked with surprise, raising a brow.

"Indeed they did. I had asked them to bring you here some time so I could see if it was true, but they said that you didn't go out much."

Haldir felt his expression turn slightly sour, his thoughts falling on the reason why he did not leave the house often. "No, I do not. I think that I shall more, now, however."

"Splendid!" the man exclaimed, smiling again.

Haldir cocked his head.

"Do you have any plans on what you will be doing? Or would there be some way that I could entice you to come work here as well?"

"Do you not have enough workers now?" he queried.

"You would not be working in the shop. There has been an interest from some of my clients for lessons and such for their children, and it was that job that I would like you to do."

With a blink, Haldir held up his hand. "I do not think you would like me to be a teacher," he said apologetically.

"Nonsense. Both Rumil and Orophin said that it was you who taught them what they know, and they are better archers than many I have seen. You, of course, are better, but that is besides the point. If you can teach those two, I wonder who you couldn't teach."

Haldir did admit that teaching them had been a bit tiring. Once the novelty of the lessons had worn off, it had been all he could do to keep them in line. But they had learned…

"It'd only be for an hour or so every day for a while. Most of the people are just looking for rudimentary knowledge; many want to teach their children the finer points themselves."

It had been, interestingly enough, a bit tempting. Any money he might get from the thing would only be a bonus -- he got the monthly allowance anyways. The things that drew him to the idea was that he'd have a reason to be out of the house, and when he was out he'd have something to do. And while he did not mean to be vain about it, Haldir knew he could shoot well. Perhaps it would be good.

So he had accepted the offer. Rumil and Orophin had been pleased, Rumil noting that it was just like old times, minus any danger, at which Orophin had snipped that it therefore was nothing like old times other than that they had bows. While at times they had been a bit irritating, or at least Rumil had been, all and all the experience was nice. The children Haldir taught were all young, scaring him by the fact that, when he looked at them as they practiced, they reminded him of himself when he was little. They all listened to him, for which Haldir felt blessed. Even better, they didn't just listen, they were eager to learn every day. It lifted his spirits greatly.

Or, at least it did during the late morning and early afternoon. After they left, Haldir often would stay and practice more himself, although there was no challenge in it. It was at that time, right after the peak of his good feelings for the day, that his mood started to make its descent. He began to think of what the evening would hold: if it would be better or worse than the day before, what Sauron would dare to do that night, if there was anyway he could get to his room without some confrontation.

Yes, it was bad. Sauron had been as good as his word and truly had done everything in his power to wrap Lalaith around his finger. Lalaith, in turn, had been all too willing to go along with it.

Unfortunately, while Haldir had hoped that Sauron, being who he was after all, would not be successful in drawing in Lalaith, he had been. He had been courteous to Lalaith in every possibly manner for the first day or so, after which Lalaith started to let her guard down. Haldir gave her an ounce of credit for not having made the first move after he had spoken to her, but could not give much as she had jumped right in when Sauron had moved from simply to being polite and friendly to blatantly flirting with her.

Haldir had thought that just the idea was bad, and had half-heartedly thought that he might be able to stand it. It actually happening could not have been much worse than the thought of it happening. However, when the time came, he hardly could keep from doing some sort of outburst.

For the majority of his life, Haldir had just about been welded to his duty as a guard. From his dedication, he had moved up the ranks quickly. So, for him, romance had been out of the question. He was happy with his work. While he was not against it, he had never really liked it. It was always terribly obvious when somebody under his command had gotten struck with the bug in that they didn't do their tasks nearly as well as usual, and for that reason the whole thing had worn into his character as being rather annoying.

So, when he saw his sister was whole-heartedly participating in it with _Sauron_, it made it even worse. Because of his previous feelings for the whole thing, it was nauseating on more than one level.

Of course, it was that it was Sauron which made it truly bad. That and the fact that he was simply toying with Lalaith to get his way. If it had been sincere… well, Haldir wouldn't have liked that either. He probably would have despised it just as much, however he could not realize that. To him the present situation was the worst possible.

And that was what he was having to put up with -- a former dark lord pretending to hit on his sister. It made Haldir's brain twitch whenever he thought about it. Which, considering how potent Sauron tried to make it whenever Haldir was around, was often.

He had put up with it for almost a month. Every day it got worse; now they _cuddled_. Well, actually, Lalaith cuddled and Sauron just kind of went along with it. That was one reason why Haldir went upstairs to his room right after dinner most of the time. He had made the mistake of going into the living room once a couple of days before, and after witnessing that, he had found he much preferred being alone and bored than seeing that. He felt like he had that image seared in his brain.

Haldir was again trying to protect himself from hearing or seeing anything that he really did not want to be exposed to. And to do so, he was again up in his room. He had tried reading some of those books Sauron always had seemed so interested in, but there was nothing in them that really caught his attention. Sometimes, like tonight, he'd have some weapons from the shop which he would clean or repair. Yet, for the most part, he was just sitting on his bed, hearing the faint noises of conversation from downstairs. He frowned, his brow drawing together as he sighed irritably.

Orophin or Rumil should have backed him up. However, for some reason they were okay with what was going on. When he had tried to get them to talk to Lalaith, they had only been confused. To them, they could not see why Haldir would be against it. They thought that he was friends with "Iaewur," and the only way to explain why such was not so would be giving away information that he could not tell. Again he ran into that wall of information. Something that was supposed to somehow go along with Sauron's punishment was punishing Haldir instead.

And then there were Elhith. Haldir had no idea what was up with him. He was the only other person who knew who Sauron really was, and yet he did not put in his opinion. Elhith seemed to be decently respected by Haldir's other siblings, and Haldir figured that, if he had said something, maybe then Lalaith might have listened, or Orophin and Rumil could have gone to her and made her listen. Something. Anything. Yet Elhith seemed to suddenly become oblivious to the fact that all the amore floating around the house could only be one sided.

Haldir sighed again. It was too much. He had gone through enough in his life, or so he had thought. Why couldn't he just be given a break for once?

Suddenly he was jolted from his thoughts by a knock on the door. "What do you want?" he asked crossly.

"My, are we getting a bit upset?" mocked the voice on the other side of the door.

Haldir clenched his jaw, deciding to be bigger than the various curses that were pushing at his lips and to keep silent.

The door creaked open and Sauron peered in, looking disgustingly smug. He was obviously enjoying himself, or Haldir's discomfort at least.

"How are you enjoying yourself up here, all alone?" he asked, his expression matching his voice. He shut the door behind himself and walked to the wall opposite of the chair where Haldir was sitting, leaning back against it and crossing his arms as he looked down at Haldir. "Don't you find it funny that you, a decent enough elf, is lonelier than me, who was once a dark lord?"

Haldir felt a muscle on his jaw twitch, but he did not reply.

"Impressive," Sauron mused, nodding slowly. "Learning to keep your tongue. Very well." He grinned again. "It'll give me more time to speak about your sister."

Haldir unconsciously swore under his breath.

Sauron raised a brow, cocking his head to the side. "Such language," he said, shaking his head. "I thought I was the only one allowed to have that vocabulary."

He stretched, then rubbed the back of his neck as he yawned. "Have you ever been in love, Haldir?" he asked suddenly.

"No," Haldir replied succinctly.

"Well, you must have some wisdom then." He paused. "I don't think I've felt so silly in all of my existence," he went on thoughtfully.

Glancing at him momentarily, Haldir ran the cloth he had been using to polish the knife in his hands down the blade again. "What do you want?"

Seeming to have gone off on his own thoughts, Sauron snapped back to reality. "Again, many things," he started to answer, "yet for the present I just came to see if you'd finally cave."

Haldir did not know where it came from, but he laughed. However it was unlike any of his laughs before. This one was low and quiet, deeply bitter even to his own ears. "Cave? After putting up with this for nearly a month? I don't think there is much more you can throw at me at this point. I'm sure I'll become immune to it after a while, and I believe that if you stay at this courting thing for too long that Lalaith will lose interest. The only thing you could do in such a case would be to profess your feigned undying love for her and go get hitched, but that would be a pickle that I can't really see yourself getting out of."

Sauron looked rather disturbed with idea, a small grimace on his face. "No… I wouldn't go that far," he said, shaking his head, the grimace turning to revulsion. "But I don't think I'll have to push that far anyways. You might think you can last for a while, but I don't think you can. No, it won't take anything that drastic, not nearly so." He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head again quickly.

"What?" Haldir asked monotonously.

"Marriage," he spat out. "What an ugly thing to say. You're getting in on this mental toying stuff, aren't you?"

"Sure," he answered nonchalantly.

"You can't use my tricks on me," Sauron chastised. He pushed away from the wall, pacing the room. "Seriously now, when are you giving in?"

"I'm not."

"I think you will."

"Well, a lot of what you think is wrong."

"At least I think," he retorted.

Haldir rolled his eyes, balancing the blade on his hand. He wondered what it'd be like to take the thing and throw it at Sauron. Nobody could really blame him if he did. Wasn't as though anybody liked Sauron anyways.

Except Lalaith.

Haldir groaned inwardly.

"Well, if you're so sure that you're past being moved to entering the bargain, I'll have to work harder," Sauron said finally. "As you said, it's been about a month. In sure that counts for something. I don't know what, but something. Lalaith's been talking about it, and I've listened."

Haldir snorted. "I bet you have."

Sauron looked at him over his shoulder. "I have. She's given me many of my ideas for what I do. Proves useful. That's besides the point however. She's brought up this month thing for the last few days, and so it must mean something to her. It'd seem appropriate to do something to celebrate it or whatever, I'm guessing, however since you'd have to be chaperone," he said, his wicked grin crossing his face for a moment, "I've figured that I can't do anything outside the house."

"Congratulations. You've reached a conclusion. Good for you."

Continuing as though Haldir had not spoken, Sauron went on. "I talked to Orophin about it, and he's going to help make a dinner. Obviously, we all know my culinary talents, so I had to stoop to getting his help on it. Although, that really doesn't bother me since I won't have to work. I just have to be useful enough that Orophin will note it. I believe it'd give me points if I tried. I think Elhith might help too."

Haldir looked up at him from under his brows. "Answer me one question."

Sauron shrugged. "Why not."

"How is it that Elhith is going along with this?"

"Remember Osse's?" Sauron asked in turn.

Haldir nodded.

"Well, I just used that same trick on him, almost identically. Convinced him that I've changed and whatnot." He gave a small laugh, again that demeaning sort. "Gullible fellow. I suppose he didn't really have a choice in the matter though, once I started using the finer points of my talents in that area on him. Had to work very hard on him though."

Thinking for a moment, Haldir spoke up slowly. "How come you haven't tried that on me?"

Sauron frowned. "I _have _tried it on you."

Now Haldir frowned too. "It didn't work?"

"Obviously!"

"Well… why wouldn't it?" Haldir asked, curious and slightly put out to learn that Sauron had attempted the trick on him.

He shook his head. "I have no idea. It should have. Especially with you. I'd think I'd be able to break your mental barriers like a twig."

Haldir glowered at him.

"But the fact is that it doesn't work, and therefore I have to do this whole charade. And if there is something that surpasses my speaking talents, it's my acting talents."

"You're so full of yourself, it's surprising that you don't just spontaneously explode."

"That sounds rather unpleasant," Sauron responded cheerfully. He pulled his hair back from his face for a moment, looking at Haldir again. "So, you won't give in? Let me have a break and skip the dinner?"

"Not for anything," Haldir said, thrusting the knife back into its sheath a bit forcefully.

Sauron gave a small sigh, releasing his hair and then making his way to the door. "Very well then. We'll see if you keep that attitude tomorrow evening."

As he left, Haldir remained frostily silent, not just a little angered when he heard Sauron laugh to himself in the hall.

I:I:I:I:I:I

Sauron was certain that he'd be able to get to Haldir to crack through the whole 'dinner' thing. Somehow he would. The ruse had been going on long enough. It was the perfect opportunity, and he was going to make the best of it.

Most of his morning had been free. He'd just thought of different things he could possibly do, and how he could keep the dinner private, as he knew Lalaith was thinking it would be, while also making it public. Bit tricky, but Sauron was sure he could make it work out somehow.

In the early afternoon, he began to help Orophin with the dinner. It was clearly not his forte; however, by some amount of luck, he was able to keep from botching up the tasks he needed to do. Sauron's one hope was, while the food did look okay, that it actually was okay and wouldn't make him sick or anything after the fact.

So even though it took a while to prep everything, it was done in a decent amount of time, after which Sauron had gone and got ready. On one hand, he was pretty creeped out and a bit aggravated that it was within his power to stop the thing and thereby end the creepiness, but he attempted to make light of it. He could sense that he was close to accomplishing his goal now. It would be over soon enough; he just had to get through this last thing and he'd be done.

That became his mantra of the afternoon. As he stood in front of the mirror in the hall, trying to figure out how to do his hair in a manner a bit classier than the reluctantly brushed mop it usually was, the argument passed through his head. While eyeing the appalling new tunic of _pale blue_, he whispered it under his breath.

So, after a time, the early evening came, and everything was set. He retrieved Lalaith, who he admitted looked quite lovely, but it was not as though he was betraying himself with the thought. She obviously was -- it would simply be stupid to dispute it -- but it went no deeper, and held no importance to him, other than that he was acknowledging what the evident truth was. It didn't mean a thing to him.

The small dining room adjoining the kitchen was all set up and prepared. The only thing it had been missing was them. And so the instant they were there, everything as he had wanted it, Sauron began to swing his plan into action.

Everything was working so well, Sauron considered after the evening progressed towards its end, looking across the table at Lalaith. The plans could not be going any better. It almost amazed him that everything was going off without a problem. He felt quite smug at how much he could get away with being only as powerful as a lowly elf.

Lalaith seemed to become aware of his eyes on her and looked up. Sauron was not terribly surprised; his eyes tended to do that sort of thing. Almost unconsciously, he smiled, and she returned it. It was nearly too easy. Nearly -- he wasn't about to complain about not having to work.

No, Lalaith had done her part unwittingly. However, her brother was proving a bit more bothersome.

His thoughts darkened slightly, but he did not let it seep into his countenance. For his part, Sauron had to grudgingly congratulate Haldir for being made of tougher stuff than he first had supposed. Yet, it was proving to be rather annoying. All of this romantic mumbo jumbo was starting to grate his nerves. At first it had been a bit amusing, even if it was immensely uncomfortable. Every time he had taken on some part, it had always entertained him for a while.

As he had thought earlier, it was about time for something drastic. However, he still could not think of anything. This was not a subject where he could easily come up with drastic actions.

All things considered, Sauron did not feel that the dinner was too excruciating. He had done many things in the course of time which had just about sent him off the deep end with how dull and boring they were. But Lalaith had proved to be rather intelligent, even if not very discerning, and conversing with her had some merits. Granted, there were things he would rather do, but it actually wasn't too bad.

Finally Sauron had to admit that he could not drag the meal out any longer. He had exhausted every topic he could think to speak of, and there were many, and now an awkward silence fell upon the table.

Hoping that the time had been long enough to push Haldir a bit or, better yet, all the way, to his limit, Sauron went through the courtesies he thought proper as he got up. Lalaith returned them in due order, rising herself and helping Sauron clear the table.

They had just finished, Lalaith uneasily fingering the hem of her sleeve, when Sauron saw Haldir at the doorway. Judging by where he was standing, Haldir did not think he could be seen. '_Twit_,'Sauron thought to himself, mentally shaking his head. Did Haldir really forget who he was? Honestly, he had made it his duty to notice _everything_. Of course he'd see him spying from the doorway.

Yet, it was just the opportunity that Sauron needed. It was time to do that drastic whatever he was going to do, now that he had the audience he needed to witness it.

Running a hand thoughtfully through his hair, Sauron looked down at Lalaith. She had already been looking at him, and when he met her eyes, she blushed and lowered her head. Sauron raised a brow, confused. Elves. Not to mention _female _elves.

At that moment, he heard a small shuffle. Couldn't be anybody but Haldir. He had to be the loudest elf in the world. Sauron was grateful for it though, because he could tell that Haldir was about to leave, finding the scene to be acceptable.

What could he do to make it otherwise? He needed something quick now, which made him slightly angry at himself for not thinking about it earlier.

Sauron had not looked away from Lalaith this whole time, since he did not want Haldir to realize that he knew that he was watching. Lalaith was still blushing, something which Sauron, in turn, still did not understand.

Something about blushing struck up a memory. Naturally, it was helpful. All of the memories he had been having of his time with the elves were coming in handy in this whole courting thing, which he knew nothing about personally. Sauron's memories of what he had seen were his only guides, and once again they had presented him with what he needed.

It was perfect, true. Yet, he couldn't help but balk at the idea. Was he willing to stoop to doing _that _to get his way?

After a second of consideration, he figured he was. He was pretty used to stooping, not that he would verbally admit it.

So, he'd kiss her.

Didn't matter that he had no idea how to do that, and was positive that he didn't really want to. That handy dandy memory of what he's seen would have to suffice.

Acting impulsively, or at least as impulsively as he could in the matter, he took her hand in his left one, grimacing mentally as her fingers brushed against the sensitive skin where his hand had healed after his finger had been so rudely chopped off. Clearing the thought away as he saw Haldir take a step back towards the kitchen from his peripheral, Sauron quickly thought of the next thing to do by wrapping his other arm around Lalaith's waist.

She was extremely red now, but all the same she snaked her free arm over his shoulder, her fingers playing with his hair. That was… different. Well, it all was for that matter. He tended to like leaving his personal bubble intact, unless he was going to kill somebody, in which case there really wasn't anything else he could do about it. True, there wasn't anything else he could do about this either -- wasn't like he could kiss her from a distance. Still, it did make him uncomfortable. This touchy-feely stuff was completely out of his sphere of experience. He figured that as long as he didn't look like he was uncomfortable, it didn't really matter.

For half a second, Sauron wondered if he had ought to say something first, but then decided that there wasn't anything that needed to be said. It would only have been stalling, which he was a bit taken aback to realize he wanted to do.

Sauron figured then that there was nothing for it. So he bowed his head and planted his lips firmly against Lalaith's.

Too his surprise, Sauron found that his limited knowledge with this would not ruin its intended effect for, almost as soon as he had kissed Lalaith, she showed that she had some prior acquaintance with the action. She kissed him back, and Sauron just hoped that Haldir could tell she was.

He also hoped that Haldir would interfere soon. While the sensation was not really unpleasant, Sauron decided that he didn't like it. It was just… weird. It was probably the fact that he was not completely disgusted which made him dislike it. He had expected to be pulling off one of his best acts with this, but, oddly, it wasn't quite that way. In the past, he had come to the conclusion that the majority of things in the physical world were of some negative nature. This didn't quite fit.

But more important than that he didn't like to have to refigure things he had decided upon years before, he didn't want to find himself _enjoying _it. That would be completely unacceptable. He could remain indifferent, but anything more than that was not tolerable. He had gone uncounted ages without any inclination to this sort of thing, thank you very much. And he would keep it that way. He was honestly a bit put out with himself for not being completely revolted.

Haldir thankfully obliged to Sauron's wish soon after. It wasn't quite in the way that Sauron had predicted, however. He had just been waiting for a yell, or for Haldir to run into the kitchen, or more likely both.

But instead he heard a loud, heavy thud. Startled, Lalaith pulled away, blinking up at him before she seemed to regain her senses and looked towards the doorway where the sound had come from. When she looked, her jaw dropped slightly, a choked "Haldir!" escaping her lips before she shut her mouth again. Then, with a somewhat apologetic glance at Sauron, she stepped back and hurried over to Haldir, who was sprawled on the ground.

Sauron stood in his place, watching as Orophin turned the corner and saw Haldir just as Lalaith sat down next to him. While the siblings tried to wake up their unconscious brother, Sauron could not help but allow the smallest of a smile pull at the corner of his mouth. The kiss had apparently been drastic enough for something. Hopefully that something was Haldir caving in.

It better be.

I:I:I:I:I:I

….Was that fun? Heh… maybe? I'm having to think of lots of weird things to do for actions and stuff. /sniff/ Anyways, probably expect the next chapter in about 2 weeks… or… three I guess. When I have Thanksgiving break. Yes.


	33. Off to Frodo's We Go!

Yes, oh yes, I completed my goal. Sorta. But it's all good. I'll try to get a chapter out before we get off for Christmas break, but I don't know if I will be able to. We'll see.

Unfortunately, it's a bit late, so I won't be able to do make as long reviewer responses. But I love you guys!

Mesozonic Flower: I don't know if I got around to responding to your review last time or not. Soo… yes. He just has a horrible time of it. Most of them do in some way, actually…

XNemesis: I'm sure Haldir would have killed him if he could get away with it. Oo, a cookie? And a smoothie? Rock on! Can't go wrong with those two. Unless it… okay, never mind.

The grammar nazi: I don't know what Sauron is thinking. I don't think he's sure himself either! You know, the English language really is stupid. Bleh. Glad you liked the chappie!

Ruler-of-Da-World: That kinda does sound like something Sam would say now that I think about it. Ha… and yes, Sauron would respond in a positive manner to that. Freak. Oh, the chappie caused yelling? Well then… okay, I can't think of a response to that.

Crow: /waves hand/ Horrid in a wonderful way... Well, I do what I can. /smile/

Midnight Proc: Well, yeah, it's not THAT creepy considering things I could think up… but… I still thought it was pretty… eh heh heh…

Kingmaker: Yes, I figured that archery would be nice for him. But yes… I don't think he would be able to keep that job too long, alas. Pushing buttons is fun. Haven't gotten that art down yet… dash. I'll get there someday! Ah… it's always so weird to do stuff from Sauron's POV. Odd bakunka. I'm very happy I'm able to keep the characterization believable… that makes me oh so happay!

JadedFire: Dialogue is so fun though! Wahaha.. But I know what you mean. Well I'm glad that the kissing scene turned out. Caused a bit of brain bruising on my side… but mayhaps that is just me. Probably, I wouldn't be surprised if it was such.

Black Thunder44: I dunno, you'll just have to read and see if he caves or not, won't you? /wink/

Lady Golodwen: Ello dearie. I'd hope you would laugh a lot, of course. Heh… yeah… I think it would be a fine line for which way Lalaith would go: the mortified way, or the highly ticked off way.

AzureDragoness: Wow! Well… I think it would be fair to say that you liked it! Haaha… well, I'm afraid this chappie might be a bit of a let down, however, just wait for the next. If it has everything in it that I plan, it should be veeery interesting… /evil grin/

Well well, here you go you all! Enjoy… hopefully.

I:I:I:I:I

When Haldir woke up, he had no idea what was going on. Above him was his sister's face, her expression both of concern and perhaps slight embarrassment. It had taken him a minute to get even that, as his eyes were being rather rude and not focusing properly. But, soon enough, her form had become clear, the rest of the room falling into step and refining to their proper outlines as well.

It seemed that he was in his room. For a while, Haldir could not understand why. That and Lalaith's expression both puzzled him. What had happened?

His eyes roamed the room as his mind did the same in search of a satisfactory answer. Perhaps, he thought, one of those things might resurface a twinkling of the events that must have occurred which were presently evading him.

The nightstand, the door, the chest, Lalaith, the window, the rug, Sauron…

Sauron.

In an instant, it all crashed back to him. He felt his face drain of color as he recalled that horrendous scene. It was repulsive! He couldn't believe that it had happened! It couldn't have; it was too much. Yet, by the cocky smirk that Sauron wore, Haldir knew that it must have.

So, almost as quickly as the blood had left his face, it surged back as anger replaced his shocked disgust. Oh, Sauron had crossed the line this time. He had stepped across it on a couple instances, but this was just jumping over it completely.

There was, however, nothing he could do about it… at the moment at least. Lalaith was sitting there, one hand upon his arm. She needed to go.

Haldir sat up, rubbing the spot on his head that hurt from his fall. As he did so, he chastised himself for having fainted. Sure, it had been bad, but _fainting_? Definitely didn't do anything for his case of indifference to the whole charade. Didn't help at all.

Once he was sitting up, ignoring Sauron all the while, Haldir looked at Lalaith. "Excuse us," he began, the distant, commanding tone he used to order the guards that had been under his authority permeating his voice. "I want to have a talk with Iaewur alone."

Lalaith apparently had the sense to recognize that the use of that voice did not imply a cheery conversation. "Please, Haldir, don't be mad," she said quietly, almost pleadingly. "He didn't do anything… he isn't at fault; I kissed him as well-"

"I know!" Haldir hissed, pulling his arm out of her grasp as he tried to keep himself from bellowing or anything of the like. The silly girl didn't have any idea what she was doing, and when Haldir had tried to tell her, she had not listened. Haldir scowled at her as she got up and left the room silently, figuring that she would get hers if the truth were ever to come out.

The door closed with a click, Haldir turning to look at Sauron immediately. That stupid stupid stupid stupid…. There just weren't words to describe what he was. His name alone could act to fit everything.

Of course, Sauron did not look upset in the least. He looked pretty chipper in fact, more likely than not because of what he could probably guess Haldir to be feeling.

The last thing Haldir wanted to do was sit in the same room with Sauron, but at the moment there weren't any other options. "You went too far," he said finally, crossing his arms.

"Does that mean you've given up?" Sauron asked a bit hopefully, not at all put out by Haldir's tone or posture.

For a second, Haldir had to wonder about it. Did he? It was going too far, and the only thing he could do to get Sauron to stop would be giving in.

"How'd I get up here?" he asked, his mind trying to keep itself from having to admit defeat by going off on some random tangent.

Sauron raised a brow, obviously curious about this change of topic, but did not push Haldir. "I carried you."

Haldir frowned. "Why."

"Because I figured it'd make Lalaith upset if I didn't."

"… Why did I have to be moved at all?"

"Lalaith didn't want to leave you on the floor."

"Why all the way up here then?"

"That's what she said to do," Sauron replied with a shrug.

"Taking orders from a little elf maid now?" Haldir spat. "That must be a new low."

If the statement annoyed Sauron, he did not let it show. He just continued to stare at Haldir blankly while he spoke.

"I'd rather that she had just let me stay on the floor. Better than having filth like you get anywhere near me."

Sauron just smiled faintly. "Try not to let your bitterness seep so much into your voice," he advised, shifting his position a little. "And I'll have you know, I have very good personal hygiene. No need to call me filth."

"You know I didn't mean it in that manner."

"I suppose," Sauron said with a shrug. "I was all for just letting you lay in your heap of unconsciousness in the hall, but, as I said, Lalaith was planning otherwise." He considered his hands for a moment before going on and popping his knuckles, looking back up at Haldir. "So, we come back to the question. Do you give in?"

Haldir looked away, leaning his elbows against his knees. He felt sick knowing that he would give in. It was just getting to be too much. If he didn't just let it go and take Sauron to see Frodo, there was probably a danger that Lalaith would be hurt… and Haldir could not stand the thought. At least, with Frodo, he could intervene a bit. There was still hope for that. With the present situation, there wasn't.

"I hate you," Haldir stated, almost without realizing it.

This time Sauron gave off a small laugh. "You and probably ninety-nine point five percent of the population of Arda. Not like it's anything that makes you special."

Haldir just glared at him. "It's a pity that you can't just die and stay dead."

"Could very well say the same for you, elf," Sauron retorted. "Now, we can go off on how everybody loathes me and despised my existence, but that would not be on subject. And I want this done. Do you give in?"

Haldir sighed. "Yes."

Sauron's smile became slightly more genuine. "Yes, you give in?"

Haldir nodded.

"Tomorrow you will take me to Eressea?"

Again, he nodded, moving his head just enough that it was noticeable.

"Very good," Sauron said happily. "I shall leave your precious little sister alone then and uphold my end."

As Sauron went to the door, Haldir just had enough wit to say, "I thought you didn't uphold bargains."

Sauron paused for a moment, hand just resting over the handle. "This is one of those bargains where it's pleasant to have the person give in from two angles."

With that, he opened the door and stepped out, leaving Haldir both relieved and yet a whole lot more stressed.

Haldir did not talk to anybody about what was going on. The only thing he did to prevent his family from sending out a search party or anything of the like was to write a brief note explaining his lie that Sauron and he had been needed immediately for reasons Haldir was not at liberty to disclose. Reading the note over again, he felt that it was very transparent, but figured that, given the apparent intelligence level of everybody lately, it would be enough.

Later that night, Sauron had come back to fine tune the plan for the next day. He had made it up all by himself, as Haldir did not want to have anything to do with the whole thing. All he did was merely listen so that he knew what would go on.

Sauron had shown his disgustingly analytical side once again, retrieving maps (probably from Elhith's room) and writing down all manners of things that he thought were important.

So, in the end, it was decided that a similar course as the one they had taken to see Osse would be used for the land part of the trip. Then, once they arrived there, they would find a ferry or something to Eressea. After that they would find Frodo, have a 'talk' with him, and then find a tavern or some place to stay the night. The morning after that, they would do the reverse and come back home.

Haldir figured it would require substantial funds to get the horses and the ferry passage and the board and food. Extremely grudgingly, he pulled out a majority of the coins in their small coffer and then tucked them in with his luggage.

Everything was packed up and ready the night before. Haldir's pack was laying under his bed in fact, hidden from sight incase somebody wanted to come in. The whole thing felt a bit wrong in the way it was being kept out of the light completely, but Haldir, along with not wanting to have to simply explain what was going on, did not want to have to answer questions as well.

By the time everything was set, it was late evening, and Haldir just figured that it would be easier to go to bed. So, with an unhappy sigh, he had crawled into his pajamas and then into bed.

The night, of course, did not seem nearly long enough. It was still dark out when he woke up from having his shoulder shook.

Sadly, it was one of those nights when his blankets seemed disgustingly soft and were just the right warmth. The last thing he wanted to do was get out from under those covers.

At first, he gave an unhappy grunt, wiggling down further into his comfy sheets. Sauron seriously did not seem to understand the concept of sleep. It was likely that he didn't even sleep himself. There was no way that he could understand its merits and yet get up so easily.

For a moment, Haldir had been left alone, and he slowly smiled into his pillow. Maybe he would get a little bit more time.

Yet, just as he thought it, he was shook twice as hard, enough that his head rolled around on the pillow. "Wake up sunshine!" Sauron whispered cheerfully.

Haldir groaned, opening one eye to look up at Sauron sullenly. "Don't ever call me that again," he whispered, his voice still a bit crackly from sleep.

"I won't unless there is a situation where you need to get up and, for whatever reason, don't want to play." He released Haldir's shoulder and, from the soft sound of his feet followed by a different noise that suspiciously sounded like something being pulled across the floor, must have gotten Haldir's pack from under the bed. "Come along now; we need to leave before anybody gets up."

With a sigh, Haldir slipped out of bed, stretching his arms and yawning. As awful as it felt, he could tell that he was waking up. Scratching his head, he looked over at Sauron, who was standing with his arms folded across his chest on the other side of the black room. "Plan on giving me some privacy?" he drawled before yawning again.

Sauron rolled his eyes but left the room, closing the door behind him.

After a short pause, Haldir got up and stumbled over to the chest on the opposite side of the room, where he had laid out his clothes for the day. While he lacked some of his usual coordination, he was able to yank his clothes on without any mishaps. Lacking both a mirror and light by which to see a mirror, he simply ran his fingers through his hair a couple times, hoping that it didn't look too bad. He knew that, without being able to pull it back some way like he normally did, it would be bothering him come that evening.

He picked up his pack, slinging it over his shoulder, and then opened the door. Sauron was leaning against the wall to his right, his own pack sitting on the floor in front of him. "Ready then?" he asked at Haldir's appearance.

"Physically, yes," Haldir replied. "In every other manner, no."

"Good enough," Sauron said, leaning down and grabbing his stuff. He smiled at Haldir as he started to make his way down the hall. "Finally getting out of this house for a respectable amount of time."

Haldir did not respond, but instead just followed Sauron down the stairs and out of the house.

The trip was pretty similar. They stopped at the same place to get their horses. Sauron again complained about having to ride a horse while consenting that they needed to do so anyways. Most of the trip to the docks, in turn, was pretty quiet. Haldir was in a very irritable mood, so it was good that Sauron was not one to randomly strike up conversations. Again, Haldir had gone along with something he shouldn't have, but really had not had any other choice about. He was immensely frustrated with himself.

They had arrived at the docks at about sunrise, due to having left so early. Sauron figured that it was a good time to arrive and that, if they found a ferry, they would not have to wait long for it to leave for Eressea.

Once their horses were safely corralled, they went down to the shore, scanning the piers. "I suppose you're going to say that we should ask," Sauron said.

"That's what I would recommend," Haldir replied, nodding.

"Fine. You ask somebody."

Haldir looked over at him sidelong. "Do I look like your little minion to you? Go ask yourself."

Sauron frowned slightly. "I don't like people."

"Wow, thanks for that revelation." Haldir shifted the pack on his back slightly. "It doesn't make any difference to me if you ask or not."

"I know." Sauron gave a sigh, then shook his head. Without any further pause, he walked forward from the alley they were in to the large street before them, stopping the first person he came upon.

Haldir could not catch what he said, but he could understand the gestures the elf made. Apparently directions to where they could find a ferry were being given. The only positive thingthat Haldir could see in that was that it had been fast.

Watching the expressions of the two, Haldir noted Sauron's fall abruptly. For a moment he was curious about it, but then decided that he didn't want to be and ignored it.

Not a moment later, Sauron looked over at Haldir and motioned for him to come down to the street. Yet, no sooner had Sauron done so then he began to sprint across the street to the docks.

Haldir, of course, became baffled at this. Why was Sauron running? He pondered it while hurrying to catch up, figuring that he might as well go with the flow at the moment and ask questions later.

Once Haldir caught up, Sauron started to go faster. "What is going on?" Haldir asked, trying to keep up while avoiding collisions with crates or tripping over rope.

"I found a ferry."

Haldir blinked. "Okay. Why all this running?"

"Because it's supposed to leave in about five minutes."

"Oh," was Haldir's reply.

For the next minute or so, they wove their way around, passing boats of various sizes. Haldir was amazed that Sauron was able to remember directions in such a way. If it had been up to him, they wouldn't have stood a chance.

Finally, they came to a dead end. Ahead of them was a fair-sized ship, that, at the moment, was having the ropes which kept it near the pier wound off. It was about to leave.

"Wait!" Sauron called, effectively getting the attention of the two elves on the dock.

One of the two replied. "Wait? The anchor is up and everything. It's too late now."

"Please," Sauron implored, and at any other time Haldir would have bugged him about it, "just give us the chance to get on?"

The two elves looked at each other, and then yelled at one of the sailors on the ship. In a conversation that seemed to consist mostly of monosyllabic words, the consensus was brought back that they could board.

"However, we can't put up the gangway again," one elf said apologetically. "You'll have to just walk across the rope."

Haldir felt rather indifferent to the condition. Any elf could do something like that; it was just a bit more of a hassle. However, Haldir was rather used to it. The bridges he had crossed had, more often than not, consisted only of a rope.

Sauron, however, looked very nauseous at the thought. Haldir was able to figure out why with very little thought. The lapping of the waves below them spoke of what it was that Sauron was unsettled about.

Probably didn't help that he wasn't one of the most coordinated people Haldir had known.

There wasn't anything else they could do about it, however.

Since he had a feeling that Sauron wouldn't take the initiative on this instance, Haldir went up to the rope, balanced against a barrel to his right for a second, and then walked the twenty or so feet to the ship.

Hoping over the rail, he looked back. "Come on, it isn't very hard," he said, not in encouragement but because he wanted Sauron to stop being a wimp about it and just cross the stupid rope.

Sauron hesitated a second, but then slowly walked to the rope. He looked up at Haldir, frowning and shaking his head slightly in a manner that clearly said "I have a feeling that this isn't such a good idea."

To his credit, he did do it. Sure, he looked really uncomfortable, holding his arms out a bit from his sides for balance, but, amazingly, he got across.

Haldir had, unconsciously of course, reached out a hand to help him up over the rail. Not surprisingly, considering the circumstance, Sauron has taken it and allowed Haldir to help him up.

As soon as Sauron was over, he let out a long sigh and closed his eyes. It looked like every muscle in his body simultaneously relaxed, and he learned back against the rail, his eyes still shut.

Haldir couldn't help but cross his arms. "The big bad Dark Lord of Middle-earth scared about a bit of water," he whispered in order to keep anybody else from hearing.

Nothing about Sauron's countenance revealed his reaction to Haldir's words. "Everyone is scared of something," he said evenly, his eyes remaining closed.

"Most are just afraid of something a bit more alarming than water. You know, you really are much less frightening once a person gets to know you a bit more."

A flicker of a smile pulled at the corners of Sauron's mouth. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at Haldir, a highly unsettling glint to them. "You are very much mistaken if you think you know me."

"I'm not quite that disillusioned," Haldir said, tipping his nose in the air. "I just mean that I know things about you that really put the damper on that whole 'imposing evil' junk."

Sauron didn't say anything. Instead, he slid down the rail so that he was sitting on the deck, his knees under his chin. "Go pay for our passage," he said simply, wrapping his arms around his legs.

Haldir raised a brow, but figured that he might as well. He just wished that he had been able to have done so without Sauron having brought it up first. It made it seem like he was just listening to him.

After a moment, Haldir found the captain and paid for the trip. The cost was pleasantly lower than his expectations, therefore his mood was appeased somewhat. Figuring that he might be able to save time, he also arranged to return with them the following day. The captain said that they made the trip about twice a day, in the morning and mid-afternoon, so whatever worked for Haldir would be fine. Haldir was planning on the earlier of the two. The sooner they got back home, the better.

Once that task was done, he went back over to where Sauron was seated, figuring that he didn't really have much else he could do.

Sauron was staring off across the water at the sunrise, an unreadable expression on his face. Initially, Haldir figured that he must be considering what sort of things he was going to do to that poor unsuspecting hobbit. His opinion changed a bit when Sauron spoke.

"The sun is very bright," he said, a thoughtful tone to his voice that Haldir hadn't ever encountered before.

Haldir frowned. "Yeah… it is," he agreed, confused about what the purpose of that had been.

"I remember the first light…" Sauron said quietly.

Well, this was a bit odd. Haldir wasn't sure how to respond, or if he should, or what. It was the very essence of awkward, at least on his part. Slowly, he sat down next to Sauron, looking out at the sun as well.

"I suppose I should give Varda credit," he mused. "It was something so different from what we knew, or thought we knew. It all was, for that matter. Like sight, where before there had only been sound…" He tilted his head to the side slightly, the smallest of a frown upon his lips.

It was clear to Haldir that a lot of things were passing through Sauron's head at the moment. It was also clear to him that such was an occasion where there was no need to speak. And he was thankful for that, because he had no idea what he would say if he had to.

It was really strange though, having Sauron off in his own world simply pondering and not brooding. Edged on creepy, to be completely honest.

For the most part, they were silent. It was only once they got near Eressea that Sauron broke out of his reverie.

"So, how do you suppose we find this little halfling?" he asked finally, back to his usual tone, meaning that, no matter what he said, his voice had a way of making it seem haughty.

"I don't know. Ask around I guess."

Sauron shook his head. "I'm sure you can come up with something better than that. Come on, think now."

"I thought you believed that I am not capable of thinking," Haldir retorted, throwing words Sauron had said many times before back in his face.

"Touché," Sauron said, nodding. "Yes, that is so. But I guess I'll just give the benefit of the doubt for the moment."

Haldir shook his head. "I don't know any other way that you could find him. Besides," he went on, "I'm sure most of the people were aware of his arrival, and therefore have some inkling as to where he could be found."

"Fine," Sauron sighed irritably.

There was a pause.

"What are you going to do when we find him?" Haldir asked, leery of the answer.

"I told you, I just want to have a chat with him," Sauron said innocently, which was almost more damning than if he had said something awful.

"That's transparent," Haldir mumbled.

"I don't know what you're implying." Sauron said, feigning indignation. "Would I lie to you?"

Haldir stared at him, slowly raising one brow. "Yes."

He nodded. "Yes, yes I would."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"That is for time to tell."

"No, I think that is for you to tell. What is it?"

"A chat! Honestly, how many times do I have to say it before it gets pounded through your thick skull?"

"For lies, an undefined amount," Haldir said, but was not able to continue due to their arrival at the docks of Eressea.

Within a short space of time, the ship was anchored, the gangway put in place, and everybody ready to get off. There was a handful of other people besides Haldir and Sauron who had used the trip to Eressea, which was actually primarily for the transportation of goods, as a ferry, and these were already waiting to disembark.

The small group had gotten off by the time Haldir and Sauron arrived on that side of the boat, and they were able to get off without waiting. "So," Sauron said once they were on dry land, "where do we start?"

It was a good question. Unfortunately, there wasn't any clear answer.

"By getting breakfast," Haldir finally decided.

"…What?!" Sauron asked, looking over at him with a puzzled expression.

"I'm hungry," Haldir said, and the growl from his stomach backed up his words. "I need something to eat. Besides, I'm sure that there would be people at wherever it is we go that might know something about the locale of Mr. Baggins."

Sauron scoffed. "You eruhini, just about having to plan your whole day around your stomachs."

"Unlike you, who would unwittingly waste away if food wasn't around to remind you that you need to eat," Haldir snipped back.

Sauron glanced down at his thin frame, and then shrugged. "Haven't wasted away yet."

"No, and assuming that you want to keep it that way, you need to eat just like me. And I'm hungry, so let's go eat."

Although he shook his head, Sauron agreed that they could get something to eat. Haldir, happy that his food would soon be available to pacify his hunger, asked one of the sailors from the ship as to a place where they could get something to eat.

Within the course of the next half hour, they found the place they had been directed to, got their meals, and had eaten them (or picked at it, in Sauron's case), and found out where Frodo was living. For the amount of time, Haldir thought they had been pretty successful.

However, that also meant that they had come to the part of the trip that Haldir was not looking forward.

As they walked along the white stone road towards the area that Frodo was living, Haldir could feel his spirits sinking with every step he took. Sauron, on the other hand, was becoming a bit more animated. This, however, was not a good thing. It wasn't something where, while Haldir became unhappy, Sauron became pleased. His face had an appearance was a sort of grim triumph that hinted to 'you may have gotten me, but now I'm going to get you' kind of thing. Which, unfortunately, seemed very likely.

Finally, it seemed that they had found the place. The elf they had spoken to had said that Frodo was living in a small house joined to a larger estate, something that was apparently very odd and would stick out. Which it did.

They both stood in the road for a moment looking at the house, Haldir apprehensive, and Sauron… probably something that Haldir didn't really want to know.

Due to Haldir's reluctance about the whole affair, it was obviously Sauron who made the first move towards the house. When he noticed that Haldir wasn't walking, he turned and looked at him with what was probably the creepiest expression Haldir had ever seen. While he was smiling, his eyes were so full of malice that Haldir could only fleetingly compare it to the two times Sauron had lost his cool a bit, but even then it did not match up. This was deeper. And while it made sense, it was still highly unsettling. For a second, Haldir did not in any way have to use his imagination in placing the person in front of him as the Lord of the Rings. "Well, coming?" he asked.

Haldir, even more freaked out and displeased than he had been a moment for, slowly went forward. "_What have I done_?" he asked himself.

I:I:I:I:I

Well… there you go guys. Hopefully that will tide you over until next time!!


	34. Unforeseen Things, Such as Emotion

Well… happy belated holiday! /meek smile/

I always overestimate my writing abilities. I thought I'd get two done. But the world didn't want to cooperate, apparently. Shall I give excuses? Yes. First, my grandma was here, so I wanted to spend time with her. Second, when I did have time, I listened to music that made it impossible for me to concentrate on anything but the music. Third, this chapter was too serious for its own good. So there. But I did get it done. Aaand, I have finals in a week, so I'll have short days, after which I can write. Hopefully.

/smile/

Lala, reviewer people. Good good stuff. Really, you guys can't understand how much I appreciate you. You seriously are the only reason I keep writing. If I didn't have people waiting for chapters, I would… stop. No joke. I have other things that need my creative attention.

Ruler-of-Da-World: When my mom gets me up, I have no idea what she says. My brain isn't on yet. Glad it was a nice chappie. That's what I aim for, after all. This update took like… a month. Ew.

XNemesis: You would think they would stop it, wouldn't you? And I'm sure they would have. But that would just ruin all the fun of what I'm doing, wouldn't it? /grabs ice cream, while, due to the after Christmas/New Year thing, she really doesn't need it/

Feagliniel: /bites lips to keep from smirking/ Mmmhmmmm… It's all good fun though, isn't it? /smile/

kingmaker: /bow/ Your reviews always do loads for my esteem. Thank you. And of course elves sleep. …But they do seem to do so in a slightly creepy fashion, if that bit in TTT when Legolas was sleeping is any indication. Heh… Haldir almost is the least elf-like elf. He's odd. But that's why he's fun. I hope this chapter came out well. I had to think a lot with it… /sigh/

AzureDragoness: I love my plot hole. Hahaha. I'm glad that the fast chapters were good anyway… and I hope the one that took forever is okay as well! The next chapter should be faster though, since it doesn't have anything serious in it at all. Wahahaha.

Spoofmaster: I made Frodo like he was in the book. Hehe, yup. Sauron IS older than dirt. … Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! …And that's it. Poor Forks. She's beside herself from that.

Darth T-Rex: Yeah, I'm finally getting towards what you might be able to call a climax. That would be quite the trick, wouldn't it? Heh… ah well.

Crystal113: Yea! Thank you for delurking! That is veray special. Hehehe… yeah, the Valar probably wouldn't be too happy with him. Haldir was not really the wisest of choices for what they wanted him to do. But that's just how it goes. Poor Frodo… but… it isn't as bad as it could be. /shakes head/ Again, thank you for delurking!

Black Thunder44: Ooo… Sauron's not nice though. Not really. /rubs chin/ I fail to see why he's so spiffy. He's such a turd.

Nessa Ar-Feiniel: Nobody can really change Sauron. He's too stubborn. So any changes are gonna be things that he does himself. More or less. But Lalaith… yeah… she's… /closes mouth/

Midnight Proc: Aren't all days rather busy in some way or other? …Crap. I just remembered that I need to read the history chapter. I didn't do anything I meant to. I was going to read all the crap in my binder. Whoops. Mmm… yes. Poor Frodo Baaaaaggins. Heh. Don't you just love things that really aren't that funny and yet make you laugh anyway? That… happens to me a lot. Hard to image, isn't it?

JadedFire: Well… I DID update, just not soon. Heeeh… oh well. /rubs head/ I don't think this is very… showdownish. But we'll see, I guess. We'll see.

Soooo yes. As I said, I have something of a mini break coming up, and, with the less serious tone of the next chapter, I should be able to get the next one up pretty quickly. …Hopefully. I'll really try.

I:I:I:I:I

They approached the door, Haldir trying to keep his mind bent upon the well-tended shrubs lining the sandy path. He had, in fact, done such a good job in doing so that he ran into Sauron, who had stopped abruptly in front of the door.

Sauron looked back at him and frowned. "Can you respect my personal space, hm?"

Haldir just muttered under his breath and stepped back, staring at the fine sand beneath his feet.

Although he looked at Haldir for a moment more, Sauron turned back to the door, knocking on it a couple times. Just as he did this, however, the door swung open.

While Haldir and Sauron were both a bit surprised, the person who opened the door seemed to be so as well. It was not the small hobbit that Haldir had suspected would, after a minute, answer the door. Instead, a tall elf maid stood in the doorway, looking up at them, one fine brow raising slowly.

"How can I help you?" she finally asked.

Sauron didn't show any inclination to speak, so Haldir did. "We were wondering if we could speak with Mr. Baggins," he said in the most business-like tone he had.

Eyeing them for a moment more, she nodded her head. "I'll see if he's willing to have visitors at this hour. Please wait here."

She disappeared into the house. After rubbing the back of his neck for a moment, Haldir took a step forward and peeped into the house. While elvish qualities could be found in everything, there was a distinct difference to the furniture and décor, a rustic touch to them. He couldn't say why, but it made Haldir's spirit dip even more. This simple hobbit was getting wrapped into something more complex than he could possibly know.

He had glanced around the hall once when he became aware of a shadow entering at the end. Looking farther down, he saw the owner, whose silhouette stood out against the flood of morning light coming in the large window behind. Each step he took forward made his features clearer, and Haldir presently could make out the face of the aging hobbit he had met not long ago.

His brown, curly hair seemed grayer than Haldir remembered, and what he had in the way of wrinkles were more noticeable. He appeared very care-worn, something that Haldir had been able to note in other mortals, but none so much as with this halfling. Was this the same hobbit he had met back in Lorien? It looked as though an unimaginable burden was etched into his features.

Of course, Haldir knew what it was. He just about wanted to turn to Sauron and strike him… or more correctly, he REALLY wanted to, but knew it was not something that would be very proper at the moment. But there was such an acute pain written in Frodo's eyes, it cut Haldir. And the hobbit had accepted that burden on behalf of everybody.

At the moment, Haldir just sighed, trying to vent the deep bubble of anger that had welled within him.

"Good day, Mr. Baggins!" Haldir said as cheerfully as he could, smiling falsely.

Frodo studied him, obviously trying to place his face. "Haldir?" he ventured finally.

Haldir nodded. "I'm pleasantly surprised that you remember my name," he rejoined, in fact a bit amazed.

With a small smile, the hobbit nodded. "I won't lie by saying that it came easily." He paused, glancing at Sauron. While Frodo did a good job trying to conceal it, Haldir caught a slight slip in his smile.

"This is Iaewur. He wished to accompany me and meet the one who saved us from the Shadow," he said, hoping that the comment just burned Sauron to hear.

Indeed, a muscle along his jaw did twitch. Haldir smiled triumphantly to himself.

Frodo gave a half-hearted smile. "Would you like to come in? I just finished having breakfast, but I have some tea I could get ready." He took a few steps back from the door, waving them in.

Haldir took the invitation, walking over the threshold of the door, Sauron following closely behind.

The house, as Haldir had seen from the door, was very quaint. The walls, instead of the usual stone, were paneled with pale wood, finely inlayed. There was a vase of flowers on the table in the hall, while a walking stick was propped up against the wall precariously. It seemed so strange that this home was really in the center of Eressea.

Continuing down the hall to its end, they took a right into a large room, obviously serving as both the kitchen and dining room. Windows enclosed it, facing out to a large lawn and then, due to the house being near the top of a hill, to the sea.

"You were lucky to get such a view," Haldir noted, stepping up to the window and looking out appreciatively.

"It was a very generous gesture that I was allowed to live here," Frodo replied modestly, nodding as he moved to the kitchen half of the room.

"Whose estate is this?" he asked, turning back to the room.

"Gandalf's," Frodo answered, filling a kettle with water and setting it over the small fire that was burning in the hearth.

Haldir raised a brow. "Mithrandir resides there?"

Frodo nodded, sitting down at the table and motioning for Haldir and Sauron to do the same. "It was his before he came east, and he said on the way here that he would be returning to it."

By now they were all seated at the table. Personally, Haldir found the chairs a bit on the small side, but knew that, on the same token, they probably were a bit big for Frodo.

All this time, Sauron had not uttered one word. He remained silent, considering Frodo with a completely blank expression. So much for a chat. Haldir couldn't even hope that this was all the meeting would consist of.

An awkward silence descended over the table. The faint wail of the gulls could be heard outside.

"So…" Frodo said hesitantly, looking up at the ceiling in a way that implied that he was searching for a subject to talk about. "Your family, or your siblings at least, were on the same boat as I when we came here."

Haldir, for the first time truly realizing what it meant that those two goons he had for brothers had been on the same ship as Frodo, hoped that they had been kind to the poor hobbit and hadn't bothered him. "It was from them that I learned you were here. With you so near, I figured that I might visit you."

Frodo didn't reply to this, instead nodding slightly, his eyes darting momentarily to Sauron, but then returning to Haldir. "Please tell me if I'm being terribly rude by inquiring into this subject," Frodo began, and Haldir could pretty much bet what subject he was implying, "but you were absent from your family when they came here. Your sister -- Lalaith, if I recall correctly -- knew a bit more Westron than your brothers, so it was from her that I got most of my information. She said that you had been killed in battle."

"I was," Haldir affirmed. "I spent some months in Mandos, and then was released. I've been living in Valmar since then."

"Isn't it unusual for that to take place so quickly?" Frodo asked.

With slight discomfort, Haldir gave a short nod. "Usually, yes."

This time, a different type of silence descended upon the table. Haldir shuffled his foot against the floor, looking around the room. By the expression on the hobbit's face, Haldir knew that he was aware that something out of the ordinary had taken place. What he guessed that to be, however, Haldir had no idea.

At that moment, the kettle let out a high whistle, startling Haldir. "The water is ready!" Frodo said cheerfully, jumping up from his chair and hurrying over to the hearth.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Haldir asked, turning around in his chair.

Frodo shook his head. "No, it's fine. I just need to get some tea. I picked some from the garden this morning, but it only got as far as the porch. I'll be back in a moment."

With that, he left the room.

Haldir turned back to the table again and looked over at Sauron. "So?"

"So what?" he answered without looking at him.

"I don't know what you're trying to accomplish. You just sit there and sulk."

"I am _not _sulking," Sauron retorted, his impassive expression falling into a scowl.

Haldir rolled his eyes. "Well, one of its synonyms then. He knows that something his up, and that it has to do with you. He keeps glancing at you as though it will let him figure it out. Haven't you noticed?"

"Of course I've noticed," he said, folding his hands and leaning against the table. Again his countenance changed, turning pensive. "He knows."

Raising a brow, Haldir cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

"He knows who I am."

Haldir snorted. "I think he would be showing a little bit more emotion if such were the case. He'd do something differently than he is."

Sauron shook his head slowly. "He knows; I can tell. But the thing is that he won't let himself believe it."

Still not willing to accept Sauron's theory completely, Haldir leaned back in his chair. "Even though, I'd think he would have us out of here by now if he even felt that way."

"No he wouldn't; it isn't the way they work."

"What?" Haldir asked with a laugh, both puzzled and amused.

Sauron looked at Haldir critically. "I probably know more about these halflings' customs and such than you do; after all, I did have spies. He doesn't want to be rude to you, therefore he puts up with me."

"I'm sure," Haldir said skeptically.

"Really though, you didn't think that I was who I am at first, in Mandos, remember? If you didn't, why would he? Everybody told him that I would be completely destroyed. Besides," he continued, a bitter smile crossing his lips, "I'm not the most intimidating figure in the world in this manifestation."

Haldir had to concede to that. "All right, that part makes sense. But why wouldn't he say anything?"

"He probably thinks he's lost it," Sauron stated concisely, pushing his hair back over his shoulder and leaning his head against his hand. "Nobody would dare even insinuate that they thought somebody was the ruined Dark Lord. Terrible insult, that!" he spat, frowning.

"Okay," Haldir said, stretching uncomfortably. He decided to change the subject. "What are you going to do? We'll have tea, and then we will have to leave. Are you actually going to be decent and just go?"

Sauron looked around the room at the kitchen. "There's a block of knives over there," he said, nodding his head in the direction. "Suppose I could find something usable in that."

"Don't even joke," Haldir said, narrowing his eyes.

"Who said I was joking?"

"You said a chat, and a chat is all you will do. It's up to you to talk or not, but that's all. You said you wouldn't harm him."

Sauron smirked. "And how good is my word again…?"

Haldir shook his head angrily. "Just knock it off. I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"I'm counting on it," Sauron replied, his smirk still lingering on his face.

Indeed, Frodo came in as Sauron spoke. Haldir noted that his face appeared paler than it had before, although he did well in keeping his emotions from his face. Frowning slightly, Haldir hoped that Frodo's blanched expression wasn't due to him hearing anything that Sauron had said earlier. However, if it wasn't from that, he didn't know what it could have been.

"Have you had tea before, either of you?" Frodo asked while opening a small, leather pouch on the counter.

"No, I haven't." Haldir said. "Iaewur?"

Sauron shook his head.

"I won't make it very strong, then," Frodo said, apparently mostly to himself.

In a minute, Frodo returned to the table, cups in one hand and the kettle in the other. Haldir took the cups from him and set them around the table, and Frodo filled them. "It probably isn't too hot anymore, since my trip for the leaves took longer than I had thought it would."

Small wisps of steam danced up from the surface of the tea, which Haldir was considering with a slight leeriness. He wasn't completely sure of this hobbit stuff. Mithrandir, when in Lorien once, had shared another cultural item of the halflings with Haldir. And so Haldir had tried pipeweed, with the result of spending the next hour coughing and hacking painfully while being laughed at by his brothers and, he suspected, Mithrandir as well.

Cautiously, he raised the delicate cup to his lips, sipping the hot liquid with slight apprehension. Sure, it smelled good, but that could be deceiving.

He was, however, pleasantly surprised with what he found. The flavor was light and distinctly green, as it were, with a peculiar herbish spiciness to it. He liked it.

To Haldir's right, Sauron was spinning the cup around slowly on the table, looking at it listlessly.

Suddenly and quite unexpectedly, Frodo addressed Sauron. "And you, Iaewur, what is your story?"

Sauron looked up at the hobbit, still expressionless as before. "I think that my story is too long to tell in one sitting."

"You've seen a couple ages then, I take it?"

"You could say that."

Frodo nodded, holding his glass, hands wrapped around it.

It was then that Haldir noticed Frodo's finger, or, rather, lack thereof. Slightly above where it would have connected to his hand, the finger had been severed, very reminiscent to the hand of the person on the other side of the table.

Apparently Sauron had noted this similarity as well. He let go of his cup, his hands slipping slowly off the table. "What happened to your finger?" he asked bluntly.

Frodo set his cup down and looked at his hands. His face was drawn, all the color drained. The distinct expression of pain that had been in his eyes now spread across his face, replacing the faint color that had been there before. Everything about his countenance spoke of a horrible sorrow that, while appearing to have receded some earlier, was now found to still be close to the surface of the hobbit's mind.

Frodo was in his own thoughts now, withdrawn from the present. He kept the maimed hand before him, but the other crept to his neck, pulling a necklace out from beneath his shirt. His fingers slipped to the pendant that hung upon the chain, rubbing it distractedly. "I don't suppose I'll ever be truly rid of it," he muttered quietly to himself, oblivious of those around him, closing his eyes.

Haldir's frown deepened. Even now, the halfling had not found peace. Not yet, at least. But he had not been there long. The magic of Eressea might prove itself after a while.

Quickly, Haldir finished what he had left of his tea. He glanced at Sauron, who seemed to be as finished as he was going to be, and then rose. "Mr. Baggins?" he said softly, touching Frodo lightly on the arm.

The hobbit stirred abruptly, turning to Haldir and blinking at him for a moment. "Please forgive me; I have not been a very good host," he apologized, getting up as well.

Shaking his head, Haldir pushed his chair in behind him. "You were very gracious, especially when you were not even expecting us. Thank you for the tea; it was strange, but pleasant." He smiled, hoping that it would somehow ease some of the pain from Frodo's face.

"You're welcome," he replied, the flicker of a smile crossing his features. "It was good to see you."

"You as well. Thank you again."

By that time, they had all walked to the door, which Frodo opened for them. He bowed his head to them as they passed, going once again to the streets.

Haldir went first, taking a deep breath of the fragrant, sun-warmed air. It felt as though it cleaned his spirits of the depression that had fallen on him at the meeting.

Sauron had been right behind him, but it seemed that he had paused at the door. The brief moment of calm Haldir had felt vanished as he watched Sauron speak to Frodo. What was even more unsettling was that Haldir could not catch any of the words.

However, it seemed that Sauron had not made any threat, if Frodo's face was any indication. Instead of a look of dread or fear, he seemed to relax, if in an almost unperceivable way, nodding.

Haldir could not understand what he had just seen, and, by the expression that now lay over Sauron's features, he didn't think he would be finding out soon.

Sauron immediately began walking again once he had finished speaking to Frodo, passing the puzzled Haldir and continuing without looking back. All Haldir could do was hurry after him.

They made their way back down towards the docks, neither speaking. Sauron was a bit surprised that the elf did not ask him about what had happened, but could not deny that he was glad about it.

If Haldir had asked, Sauron wouldn't have know what he would say. Of course, he could easily say something about not talking or say it wasn't his business or any other of a million replies of that nature. But, while Haldir's questions could be ignored, the ones in his own head were a bit harder to maneuver around.

Yup, he was pretty sure that any question Haldir could ask would somehow reflect to those he was asking himself. What had just happened baffled Sauron probably to an even greater degree.

Sauron shook his head, trying to scatter the questions, even though he knew that, in the long run at least, it would be in vain.

But, at the moment, it afforded him a second of peace. He paused, looked around, and frowned.

"What now?" Haldir asked.

"I think we should find a place to stay before it becomes evening. It will be harder to find room when everybody is turning in."

Haldir looked at him, one eyebrow raised slightly. "I guess…"

Sauron had hardly waited for his answer before he began to walk again. After all, he hadn't really cared what Haldir would say; either way, he was going to find a place to sleep that night. For the first time in a very long while, sleep sounded very pleasant. When he was asleep, he didn't have to think.

Continuing for a few more minutes, they found a decent-looking inn. In this instance, however, decent meant one that looked relatively inexpensive.

Still, it wasn't as inexpensive as Sauron had hoped. He had rather wanted to have a room to himself, so that he would not have to worry about having the elf around. But they soon found that they could only afford the one room. It did, thankfully, have separate accommodations so that they didn't have to fight over one bed however. "Praises," Sauron muttered to himself at this as Haldir paid for the room.

They then went upstairs to the room. Haldir seemed thankful to get his pack off, tossing it to the floor and then flopping onto his bed.

Sauron took a little more time, setting his pack down on his own bed. Stretching momentarily, he then went to the window, leaning against the sill and absently looking at the activity in the street below.

He didn't know how long he stared out the window until Haldir finally piped up. "Sauron?" he asked, eventually drawing Sauron's attention.

"What."

"Well, we've gotten our room… so could we go do something now? Rather than just sitting around here?"

After a slight pause, Sauron turned away from the window. He sat on the end of his bed, resting his head in his hands. "Feel free to go out. I'd rather stay here."

Although Sauron couldn't see him, he could hear Haldir shuffle, the floor creaking when he must have gotten up. "You're sure that you don't want to come along? I don't think that staying here would be very fun."

"It's not supposed to be fun," he snarled, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes.

There was another pause. "Are you alright?"

"When am I ever _alright_?" he spat sullenly, dropping his hands. Taking a deep breath, Sauron regained the composure that he had momentarily lost. "Just go, Haldir. I'm not going to leave this room."

"I really shouldn't…" Haldir protested weakly.

"It will be good for the both of us."

"You're sure?"

"Yes," Sauron replied, a bit too quickly. "Yes." He then rose, straightened his tunic, and motioned to the door. "Exit that way."

Haldir eyed him for a moment, a frown slowly pulling at his mouth. He made his way to the door and glanced back at Sauron. "I'll come back around dinner, then, so that you can get something to eat."

Sauron merely nodded.

Still looking slightly skeptical, Haldir opened the door and left.

Sauron sighed and went back to his bed, laying down. Staring at the ceiling, he presently ask, "What have you done to yourself?"

There was, obviously, no reply.

Already uncomfortable, he sat up again, finding a mirror on the wall directly in front of him. With a grimace, he looked away. He hated his reflection. He avoided it if he could. It never ceased to remind him that he was no longer anything.

Although Sauron had looked away, the thought persisted, more than usual. It did not help that the argument had been on the edge of his mind the whole time since they had left the halfling's.

Sauron had lied to Haldir, and Haldir had probably known that the whole time. He had gone to Eressea with the thought of killing. He had nurtured his hate; it was something he had, over time, gotten very good at.

And yet, when he finally had met the halfling, what had he done?

He jumped off the bed, hands in fists at his side. What was wrong with him? How many thousands of deaths had he been responsible for? How many personally at his own hands? And now what? He couldn't kill one halfling?

What _was _wrong with him?

No, he had not killed him. He _had _intended on it. The comment about the knives had hardly been a jest. His tone might not have been serious, but his intent had been.

But then, he just hadn't been able to. For a moment Sauron stopped pacing the room and considered this. Why hadn't he been able to? It wasn't from pity; he could at least claim that much with certainty. He had never felt pity before. Even though it was not that, Sauron understood that it must have been in some fashion similar.

It had something to do with his face, the expression on it after Sauron had asked him about his finger. He had recognized it instantly, although he had never seen it on anybody's face before then, which probably constituted much of the reason for why it had effected him. He knew it because it was the expression that matched a closely guarded emotion that had long tormented him.

So no, it was not pity. It was that he distinguished this small creature as bearing the same weight he did.

For that reason, he had not killed him, which was bad enough. But then he had taken it even another step.

When they had gone to leave, Sauron had paused, knowing that Haldir would probably continue on for a moment and so be out of hearing. The halfling had done well in covering the apprehension that Sauron was able to discern about him. For a second, he had paused before uttering words that he would not have even dreamed of speaking before then; words that were as close to comfort as he could manage.

So, it was empathy then.

Which really didn't make it much better.

Sauron sighed. He did not like this turn of events at all. He had gone ages without feeling anything of this nature. Literally, _ages_. Not since centuries before he had completely left the Valar and served Morgoth had he done _anything _like what he had.

Again, the mirror was ahead of him. This time he looked at it without instantly glancing away. All this time he had looked as he had so long ago, but he had been completely at odds with who he had been then. Now, however, something from that person he had been had presented itself. Was the Valar's plan working on him after all?

A flicker of the arrogance that still ran deeply within him flared up for a moment, but was quickly extinguished by the voice that was continuing to point out his huge personality slip.

His gaze dropped away from his reflection. It was still light out, but he was going to sleep. There were too many thoughts that he didn't want to continue considering at the moment.

So he went back to the bed and laid down, closing his eyes and hoping the sleep that was usually so elusive to him would, for once, be more cooperative.

And it was. Sauron didn't even know that he had truly fallen asleep until he felt his shoulder being shaken. It was quite a change of situations for him to be the one rudely woken up.

"Sauron, wake up," Haldir's voice whispered.

"Why?" he asked, burying his face into his pillow, not because he was tired, but because he had been completely oblivious for however long he had been asleep. And it had been nice.

"You need to come get something to eat. I came back earlier, but you were asleep then. I waited as long as I could. They won't be serving dinner for much longer."

Sauron yawned and sat up, his senses waking quickly. Already an idea was taking shape in his mind. This one, however, was much less dangerous than those he normally came up with. Or so he thought. "I don't think I want food."

"What do you want then? Only other thing is liquid, and that doesn't really count."

He stretched and got out of bed, rubbing the back of his head. "Of course it does. I have something in mind," he said cryptically.

"…That doesn't sound… good," Haldir replied haltingly.

Sauron smiled darkly. "You'll like it. Come on; let's go."

He made his way to the door then without waiting for a reply. After all, Haldir really didn't have a choice but to come along.

I:I:I:I:I

Where is he headed? Well, you don't get to know until the next chapter. /evil laugh/ Aaaaah… yup.


	35. Red Heads and Red Faces

Eh… yeah, I don't have a good excuse. I just couldn't write. I'm sure you guys can understand that. I had planned on writing after my finals, but I managed to make myself disgustingly sick by stressing myself out and so just slept… don't I rock /coughs/ Mmm… yes… but after that, I just haven't had the /twirls hand/ creative energy to write the chapter. I'm sorry about that too, and I can't say I'll do much better in the near future because I'm going to have to start studying for my AP history test and for the SAT and ACT… /runs hand down face/ It'll be jolly fun. But the story is wearing towards its end… so there aren't too many more chapters you guys will have to wait for. I'm not going to abandon this sucker so close to the end though! No sir!

My beautiful reviews, I love you from the bottom of the lump of tissue I pass off as my heart.

Fireline: That is a high compliment! I'm very glad that it is entertaining. And no… Haldir isn't much a of a rehabilitating person, is he? If he was, he probably should square himself out first. Heh. I'm happy that I've characterized Sauron well. I wouldn't go so far as saying that he wasn't a lunatic though. Highly intelligent in his special way, but a lunatic. But they all are, so what can I say? Thank you for your words about the chapter; I had been rather uncomfortable with it due to it actually having a bit of /gasp/ emotional angst. /laughs/ That was a nice pick-me-up review. Thank _you_!

Snodgrass Winkle: I'm very glad to hear that you are enjoying the little ficlette! It never gets old to have people say such! I hope that you continue to like it.

Midnight Proc: Ello, my dear. Sauron has a heart. Somewhere. /laughs/ Nobody can kill those darn things completely. It was very un-dark-lord-ish of him… but yeah, it's better than him being the turd he usually is. /snort/

Black Thunder44: Sauron is definitely something. /laughs/ Eh… yes, you shall learn what he had in mind in this chapter. Shall be fun.

Ruler-of-Da-World: Stupid emotions, huh/snarf/ Durn things just sneak up on you sometimes. Rationalize hate? I think that would be easier. /snort/ Random is lovely. Where would the world be without randomness? …I have no idea. …Yes, friends. /shakes head/ Drinking? …. Maybe. Not that I endorse alcohol consumption.

Arzosah: Thank you thank you for reviewing! See, I do not bite. I do many things, but biting is not one of them! You don't know how much I enjoy getting reviews from new people… It's veray nice. /beams/ I'm tickled that you like it so much… man, reviews do oodles for my self esteem. /laughs/ Mmm… what Sauron said… well… /rubs chin/ I'm not exactly sure myself. Just tried to use a nice little writing trick so I wouldn't have to address it directly. Maybe it will come up sometime though. Maybe.

XNemesis: Poor Sauron? Oh man… he can deal with it. He's a big boy. It's good to know that you were good with the seriousness… I agree that humor needs a bit of it to anchor it. Or something. /laughs/ No, I have never read Discworld. I hardly get time to read anything cause of stupid English. Gah.

Nessa Ar-Feiniel: Nice naaame. What possessed you to change it, out of curiosity. Sauron and Frodo's bonding moment. Almost. Or something. /snort/

Phoenix Golden Fire: …They might be going to a pub. Or something along those lines. Hehe… and I think that would be funny too… /smiles impishly/ If I had had my way, the serious chapter would have been quickly followed by probably the silliest… but obviously I didn't get my way, did I?

Dark Lady Aranthaneth: huh what?

Spoofmaster: Down with Willy Wonka. Gosh, what a freak. /laughs/ He's even more obsessed with chocolate than spoof Sauron was. Heh. /clears throat/… How did I manage…? Did I manage? Heh… well… if I did, it was a year of work, wasn't it?

JadedFire: Yea! I feel much better… people still liked the serious chapter. /does a little jig of being happy to be a favorite/ Yahoo!

Crystal113: Wee! I'm happy you're staying delurked! Mmm… two people asked about what Sauron said… I might have to hint at it a bit more than I had intended… we shall see. I thought it might have been a stretch for good old Gandalf to be in Eressea… but I'm just going to assume that he wanted to keep Frodo company in the new place. Be a familiar face and all. /nods, then rubs hands/ I'm glad to hear that I had something up my sleeve on how the chapter turned out! And you'll see where they are headed soon enough…

Kingmaker: Shrubbery! I remember going camping and there was an area that was just… shrubs. And I always laughed at it and thought of Monty Python. Why am I telling you this? I have no idea. Anywhoooo… oh gosh, Bilbo is incredibly scary at the end of RotK. I hope Frodo isn't that far along yet. If I ever do get time, I will read ze story then. /nods/ Roaring drunk/looks around innocently/ I guess you'll have to seee. My interpretation of Frodo was interesting… now, is that _good_ interesting/smiles slightly/

Oky doky, on with the show!

I:I:I:I:I

Haldir had followed Sauron down the stairs of the tavern and outside, not surprised at all that they hadn't stopped within the building for anything. It had been pretty obvious that they would be heading outdoors.

The streets were, by that time, thinning out, filling with shadows what it lost with people. It was just as well, Haldir thought to himself. Seemed that Sauron knew his way in any case.

They walked down the road for a while, Sauron's pace gradually slowing to one that Haldir found more comfortable. Now that he wasn't having to concentrate on keeping up so much, he could consider more about what was going on.

"Well, seeing as you've gotten me out of the inn, would you mind telling me where we are headed?"

Sauron looked up at the sky for a moment, and then shrugged. "I suppose. But you couldn't guess?"

Haldir gave him a wary look that, on account of Sauron still looking up, was not seen. "I don't like to guess."

"A long while ago, when I was part of the happy bunch that now resides here," he began, just a bit of bitter sarcasm to his tone, "there was a maia who was known to make a variety of good… beverages. I heard his name mentioned this morning on the ship."

Well, that was pretty close to what Haldir had been thinking. At least the 'beverages' part had been. "Do you know where he is?" he ventured, hoping that Sauron had no idea, regardless of how he seemed to know where he was going.

Instantly dashing the meager hope, Sauron nodded. "I heard that bit as well."

"So, what," Haldir said, his expression souring slightly, "you're going to get smashed in the hopes of drowning whatever it is that is bothering you?"

For a moment, there almost appeared to be a twist to Sauron's face that hinted at something close to sadness, but it passed so quickly that Haldir waved it off as a trick of the light as Sauron had looked over at him. "That would be the plan," he conceded.

Haldir scoffed. "Have you ever really been drunk before?"

"No," Sauron admitted after a pause.

"It's not that fun. At the time, it might be, but the morning after is not a picnic, let me tell you."

Sauron actually stopped walking long enough to look back at Haldir, one eyebrow quirked. "Saying this from experience?" he said, the smallest of a smile turning up the corner of his mouth, although the expression didn't reach his eyes.

"N- okay, yes," Haldir gave in, figuring that he had completely blown the cover off that one, making it useless to even try to keep his dignity about it.

"I'm a bit surprised, and yet not really," Sauron said, walking again. "Let me guess: Thranduil?"

Haldir cocked his head a bit. "Yes. How'd you get that?"

"I could tell you all sorts of useless, petty things if I wanted. It's commonly known that Thranduil has a good store of wine around that cave of his. From there it's just simple reasoning that such would be the best place for you to get intoxicated."

Fiddling with the hair that was being blown across his forehead, Haldir decided to let that part of the conversation drop and to resume where he had intended to go. "As I had been saying though, you're sure that this is the way to deal with whatever is going on in your head?"

The almost light atmosphere of a moment ago instantly darkened. "It is the only thing I have at my disposal that I can think of doing," Sauron said, his tone dull.

Haldir paused and thought, finally voicing his question. "May I ask what it is exactly that is bothering you?

For a brief second, Sauron seemed undecided, as though he might actually divulge this measure of what was occurring in his thoughts. The moment of thoughtfulness quickly passed. "It's nothing."

"Apparently not," Haldir quipped. "You wouldn't be moping like this if everything were fine."

Sauron gave a dry laugh. "Are you actually trying to pry into my well-being? Could I truly be unmistaken in my detection of concern in your speech? I must have missed something. Perhaps you've just forgotten who I am... or was." The cool humor instantly faded from his voice.

The thought was interesting. Although Haldir was always aware that Sauron was Sauron, it was true that occasionally he forgot what that really meant. Often Sauron was merely the annoying, caustic-tongued inhabitant of the house in Valmar, nothing more. So, at times, Haldir forgot what else Sauron was as well.

The previous moment had been one of those times. Sauron's mood was unlike any Haldir had encountered from him before, and he had seen his share. Most he could deal with, but for whatever reason, this one got to him. It seemed... more down-to-earth, in a way, than Sauron's rare and almost theatrical displays of emotion. It was unsettling.

So, he said as much. Sauron only nodded.

There was another long, uncomfortable silence as they continued down the road, the few other people who were out at that time heading in the same direction.

"Do you suppose that they are going where we are?" Haldir finally asked, wanting to break the silence.

"I guess it's possible," Sauron conceded.

"Do you think we are close?"

Sauron nodded, looking around. Doing the same, Haldir noticed that more and more of the windows in the buildings they passed were lit.

Suddenly, Haldir was aware of voices. He instantly recognized the tones of them, mixed with bubbles of laughter. He concurred. They had to be very close indeed.

Then, at that moment, they passed a large building, after which the road opened up, becoming a sort of plaza. Benches and tables were scattered here and there, most skirting the sides near the buildings. All of these were apparently open: the red-gold glare of fire burst from the doors and windows of a dozen of them, as did all the singing and noise. The night sounds were instantly muted.

Standing out in the rapidly cooling evening air, the warmth of the light was very enticing. The few dozen people milling around, talking and drinking, were also a somewhat welcome sight. It was the first time that Haldir had seen a bit of a relaxation to the usually tight morals of Valinor. It was pleasant to think that he could let down just slightly.

The only trouble was that Sauron was along as well. For himself, Haldir knew how he would react to this. Sauron, on the other hand, was another story. Obviously, he had drank before, but considering that he had blatantly said that his goal was to get inebriated, something that he had _not_ been before, Haldir was incredibly ill at ease. How would he act? It seemed pretty obvious that he'd be one of those people who got even more irritable than usual, and, considering that one didn't even have to do anything to get on his bad side, the thought was not pleasant.

For a moment, Haldir though about dragging Sauron back to the inn and shutting him up in their room, but, although it was a nice idea, he knew that it was completely impractical. They were there, and it would be impossible to get him to go back.

They both stood there for the minute, considering the many opened-door buildings before them, although with very different thoughts.

Finally Sauron turned to him, a slight, mirthless smile upon his lips. "Well, let us go see what we can find."

With that, he made for the building that was centered between the rest, and was, consequently, the grandest. Such seemed logical to Haldir, who knew that Sauron was looking for that certain maia who apparently was gifted with wonderful talents in brewing. Where else would he be but the finest building?

As they came closer, the sounds of the merriment inside became more clear. The ringing of laughter mingled with music over the din of glassware.

It was unlike any bar Haldir had been to before. Most of those within the borders of Lorien were small, not truly a place where one socialized. It was simply for purchasing drinks. Once bought, they were taken back to the home before enjoyed.

This here, though, was a huge enterprise. Inside, he found a high, lofty ceiling, dripping with chains that upheld massive lanterns that bathed the room in light. The floor was a huge area, full of chairs and circular tables crowded with people. Besides those who were sitting were crowds standing in the open spaces or perching in the window sills. On the left and right walls were dozens of doors, leading to the other buildings. People passed freely in and out. On the far wall opposite of them was a staircase, along with two sets of doors through which servers bore trays packed with glasses full of various liquids, ranging in color from dark browns to rich golds to burgundies and, surprisingly, pale greens. They wove their way between tables and people. It was incredibly busy and yet incredibly relaxed all at once - definitely one of those times when the phrase 'ordered chaos' could be applied.

That alone was at odds with what Haldir knew of such places. The fact that there were almost as many women as men shocked him a bit as well. But, Haldir acknowledged, many of the places he had been to were also the taverns of men, as those in Laketown during his visits to Mirkwood. Those certainly were less than wholesome places. This was much cleaner, which he realized he should have figured out earlier. This was not Middle Earth, it was Valinor. Certain things of decency _were _required.

They waded in, Sauron looking to the corners for an unoccupied table and finding none. With a sigh, he seemed to decide on a small table half way between the corner and the door, pushed up to the wall under a window.

And then they sat there, looking at each other.

"Okay, now what?" Sauron asked.

"Now you order," a cheery voice said at their side, causing both to turn around toward the sound.

An elf maid stood at the end of their table, her hands, clasped in front of her, grasping a small pad of paper.

Haldir swallowed.

She was gorgeous.

Long ringlets of bright copper hair framed her face. Haldir had never seen hair that color before; it was like a flame. In contrast, her eyes were a bright, clear blue, the color the sky seemed to get a handful of minutes before sunset. And her smile! It was just a soft one, mirroring her gentle voice.

He jolted back. What? Where did _that _come from? Had those thoughts been his?

He shook his head, coming back to the present. The woman's eyes were turned to Sauron, who was speaking.

How could he have missed so much of the conversation?

"...do you suppose he'd be available?" Sauron concluded to whatever he had been saying.

She gave a small frown, her brow creasing slightly. "I'm not sure..." she said, putting a finger to her lips.

Sauron paused for a moment, then leaned forward slowly. "Would you please just ask? He will remember me when he comes. You could tell him that I am being accompanied by Haldir. The name should sound familiar."

Haldir instantly recognized _that _voice. It was the one Sauron had used on Osse, and, more than likely, half of Haldir's family. Knowing this, he rolled his eyes, letting out a soft sigh. Thank the Valar that, for whatever reason, it never worked on him.

During this time the woman's expression relaxed, and, after blinking, she nodded slowly. "I will see if he is available."

With that, she turned from the table, making her way back into the crowd.

Haldir's watched her until she disappeared in the mass of people.

He was snapped back to the table by the sound of a snort. Blinking his thoughts away, he found Sauron laughing softly, apparently at him. "What?" he asked, frowning instantly.

Sauron sobered up quickly, which was understandable as his laughter had only been the degrading sort. "I never would have thought you, Haldir..."

"Me what? What did I do?"

Sauron folded his hands under his chin, tipping his head to the side, and then sighed dramatically. "Does this ring a bell?" he asked airily while making his eyes as big as he could, then raising a brow and dissolving his disturbing posture.

Haldir, who was only freaked out by this display, had no idea what it was supposed to mean.

"You were making eyes at her!" Sauron finally stated bluntly.

Haldir gawked, only figuring out that he had been when Sauron smiled, that irritating victorious, smug smile. "I was not," he retorted defensively.

"Mhmmm..." was the only reply at the moment.

Haldir shifted, folding his arms, only to unfold them again. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't give me that. You're utterly hopeless when it comes to lying. Don't even bother." Sauron leaned on the table against his elbows, glancing around the room. "I'm not even sure why you tried in the first place. One could hardly blame you."

On no... Haldir thought to himself. _Back into topics that he shouldn't be part of_.

... Haldir thought to himself. . 

Sauron looked at Haldir as though aware of his thoughts, but he said nothing that gave such away. "She was rather pretty, wasn't she? I haven't seen hair that red since..." He stopped suddenly.

After a second, Haldir decided to prod the subject a bit. "Since...?"

"Nothing."

It was now Haldir's turn to smile slyly.

Sauron noted the expression. "Come on now. Don't look at me like that." He slumped into his chair.

But now that the places had been changed, Haldir was willing to press his luck. "Since what? Since who? Whose hair was that red?"

"It's not important."

"Who was _she_, Iaewur?" he continued, smiling wider.

"She was nobody!" Sauron groused, glaring at Haldir from under his eyebrows.

Haldir jumped on it. "Ah! So it _was_ a she!"

"Oh, please!" Sauron said, rolling his eyes and squirming slightly. "Remember that it is _me_ you are talking to."

He merely smiled. "Oh, I'm perfectly aware of who you are. That's why I'm not letting this go quite yet. Who was she? Did _you _make eyes at her?"

Although the words had halted in his mouth before he had decided to utter them, Haldir had figured that he might as well say it. Besides, it was well known that he couldn't hold his tongue.

As nasty as the resulting response could have been, Haldir was actually almost rewarded. There was no scathing reply, no violent glare. Instead, he only got a dropped jaw and blank stare.

He snickered.

Blinking, Sauron quickly came up with the sort of reaction that Haldir had anticipated. With a severe frown, he spoke. "I'm going to pretend that I don't know what you are insinuating."

"Well, you may say that, but your expression betrayed all that I needed to know."

Sauron struggled for a comeback for a moment, looking up at the ceiling. Then he looked back down at Haldir and said simply, "Shut up."

Haldir only laughed again. "So you did, didn't you?"

"Of course not. Stop being so obnoxious. What you're saying is absolutely ridiculous."

"Is it?"

"Yes!" he said exasperatedly.

"Hmm…" Haldir tapped his chip thoughtfully. "I'm not positive about that. Surely at some time, ages and ages ago, something like that wouldn't have been completely foreign, even to _you_."

Again, there was no burst of angry words; perhaps Sauron did not trust his voice. All the same, he glared daggers at Haldir, his dark eyes burning in his flushed face.

Haldir paused. What?

After blinking, Haldir looked again. Sauron's face was absolutely red.

He was… he was…

"You're blushing!" Haldir finally exclaimed, almost too shocked to be amused at the moment. Almost.

Laughter again filled the air. But not just laughter, _hysterical _laughter.

Sauron quickly pressed his hands to his cheeks, first the palms as if checking to see whether Haldir could really be telling the truth, and then the backs of his fingers in an effort to cool the red away. He slipped down farther into his chair, as though this slouching would shadow his treacherous face.

Haldir folded his hands, sitting up straightly. "Well, any hope you had of shrugging that one off just flew out the window."

It was another one of those events, Haldir suddenly realized, which brought Sauron down some notches. There seemed to be a whole lot of that going on recently.

For a moment, Sauron's attention was on Haldir, the expression on his face making Haldir think that he might have been attempting to put some truth to the 'if looks could kill' saying. It really was almost too much to see _him_, of all people, blushing so furiously. Funny it was, and yet also highly unnerving.

Haldir was still laughing a bit to himself, and for that reason he didn't notice the subtle shift of Sauron's attention to a point behind him. But he quickly became aware of it when a voice spoke.

"Well well, I should have assumed that you were paying me a visit by the fact that the biggest piece of information I got about this costumer was that they were accompanied by an elf named Haldir."

"You didn't need any more candid pieces of information. That should have been enough."

"It was, once I started thinking about it." There was a pause. "Well then, what can I do for you?"

I:I:I:I:I

Wahoo. Yes, this is a two part chapter. I could have waited for the likely week it will take me to get the other half anywhere close to done, but I thought, considering how long it has been, that I would post this bit tonight. Just a taste, hm? But yes… I'll get the other half out soon. I have a bit of it written in my comp book already.


	36. And So the Drunkenness Begins

Okay, yes, I'm sorry. I am. I really am. But know, I do work on it. At school when I can in my comp book. It just takes a loooooot of time. /sigh/ I am sorry. To you who are sticking with the story, I love you a ton, and thank you sooooo much for putting up with my laziness and business. It means the world to me. I'm seriously only continuing for you guys!

So, my beaaaautiful reviewers!

JadedFire: Wahooo… yeah. Yes, you were wrong! Huzzah. Or something. Blushing Sauron… oh yes, wouldn't we all love to see that and laugh at his humiliation. /snorts/ That'd be fun. I wonder who he liked too /laughs/. Oooh…. The first few chappies? How many? Would you like me to send them to you then?

Arzosah: No no no no no no no! I will NEVER abandon this! Not when I've worked on it for over a year and spent so much time on it! No no! Even though I want to beat it with a trident and kick it into a gutter, I can't. It's like a kid. I'm responsible to see it end well now, and even though I want to abandon it at times, I just can't. So no worries, I'm just grossly busy. …I really should draw a piccie. Maybe I'll do that when I get off. /nods/ It'll turn out horrendous. Oh well. Drunk Sauron… oh yeah. He's a card.

Ruler-of-Da-World: Drinks, oh yeees. Hahaha. Oh, my work warrants friend-bugging. That's awesome. /laughs/ Nice nice. Hehehe… Stupid Sauron. …Yes. You know, you need to get more artwork. I checked your little thing at the fanart site and there has been nothing since November. I was sad. Haha… well, I was. /keeps straight face/

Midnight Proc: Ello ello! AAAAAAAH! THAT FORKIN POETRY PROJECT! Curse the world! That…. /smiles/ I'm done. Yeah. Stupid thing. …Blush, yes. So much blushing going around. Like a disease. That poem was rather sad. And yes, you were in a rather odd mood. Oh, by the way, the mumsie taped another interview thing with Poot. And he jigged. It was rather… something. I'll have to bring it to school to show you, huh? Invisible fairies? Well then. You sounded rather high. /laughs/ Drinks and hangovers? Are you kidding me? You actually think that I would NOT write about that/laughs/ Aaah man…

kingmaker/laughs/ Do you honestly think I'd be irked with anybody for being busy when in the past three months I've updated 2 times? Yeah… I completely understand the busy thing. Much sympathy, my bogged-down friend. /smile/ I'm glad that I am able to make Sauron less… Sauronish… or something. I'm so good with words. Ironic when I write things… /coughs/ Hehehe… ah ze eye. You know, I have about… /thinks/ four different Saurons floating around. It's not hard to keep them straight too, cause they are really completely different. Which is sad, considering that they come from the same person… /frowns/ I really do have a plethora of issues. Lala… oh, good to hear about the bar. I was rather confused on how to go about that. Bars in Valinor… kinda weird idea. Glad you liked the chappie. I hope you like this one as well.

Twisted Mary Sue: Ello ello. /snorts/ Haldir sorta gets a girl, at least. /laughs/ And I am sad that you are disgusted; that is rather lamentable. /nods/ Mmm… yeah, I don't suppose you can have both. It's always nice to share, after all. Then again, only people who don't have something want people to share, so…

Aisha: Huzzah/does a happy dance, then quickly looks around and coughs/ I'm glad you like the story; that's always lovely to hear! And I don't care if the review is short or not! Reviews are nice no matter what. I'm sorry to hear that you broke your wrist. That must be reallay annoying. I hope you don't have to put up with the one-handed thing long!

XNemesis: Ah, Nerdanel. That poor chickie having had to put up with Feanor and his gigantic ego. Gah. Hehe… I love the stupid little things that come into my head to write. And I love that at times I'm able to kick my reasoning hard enough to actually put them into the story. /rubs chin/ Perhaps I'll try to draw Sauron blushing sometime. But not now. Too much to do. Discworld then, hm? I'll put it on my huge list of things to read. Maybe I'll get to it over the summer. Wonderful summer…

Snodgrass Winkle: Well, it's good that you like the long chapters, as they seem to be taking a turn to always being a bit long! Yes, blushing, and it is a lovely mental picture. Don't you just want to point and laugh? I do. Too bad he's fictional and that never happened. Alas. /sniff/

Spoofmaster: Haha! You forgot your own e-mail address? How laaame. /points and laughs/ Uh, yes. I know, I know… I'm so horrible in getting the chapters out. But you know what? Third quarter is ovah, which means that the evil one is done. Only not really since the AP history test isn't until May 6th or something… but I'm pretending that the worst is over. Yes. I wish I could promise to be better, but I simply can't. I do write a lot in my comp book though. That does count a bit. And I won't stop dissing Wonka. He's a freak.

Crystal113: No, I don't suppose 'drunk' and 'Sauron' put together would create a very pleasing image. /laughs/ Although, personally, I find it amusing, even if the bit of him being drunk in this chapter was rather freakish to write. Who did Sauron like/takes off three-pointed hat for a moment, then shrugs/ I'm not entirely sure. Somebody though. Aaah… blushing. Fun stuff. When it happens to other people. The mysterious brewing maia/laughs/ Wow, it must be a sign of my caffeine intake that such a phrase conjured up a rather odd mental image… /sigh/ Sorry the update was not soon, but… it hasn't been a month /mutters/ by one day… /sighs again/ Thank you for the luck! I most assuredly need it!

Well then! That's that! Here's the chappie!

I:I:I:I:I

Haldir raised a brow. This fellow knew that it was Sauron here, and he was still ready to serve him?

Obviously pleased, although still trying to regain his usual complexion, Sauron sat up again. "I know that you have a store of some… drinks that you are not allowed to give the eruhini."

The maia, whose name Haldir still didn't know, nodded. "Yes, that is commonly known. What about it?"

Sauron tipped his head down. "I would like to purchase some," he said.

At this, a slight smile quirked up at the corners of the maia's mouth. "Now, are you sure that I can let _you _have any of that? You hardly count for anything more than one of the children now."

Haldir could see a muscle along Sauron's jaw twitch at this. "Even though I'm not anymore powerful than them, Sidhwe, that doesn't make me one."

Sidhwe nodded. "True, true…" He paused for a moment, seeming for the first time to notice Haldir. "_He _could not have any, however, and that would be rather rude of you to have something that he couldn't."

"Do you think I care?" Sauron asked with a snort.

"No, I don't suppose you do." At this time, he caught the attention of a waitress serving a table near them and then whispered in her ear. At his words, she frowned slightly, glancing at Haldir and Sauron, and then back at Sidhwe. She whispered something in return, to which Sidhwe merely said, "I know. Now just be a dear and fetch it."

With another skeptical glance, the elf curtsied and hurried away.

Sidhwe now pulled a chair from the table next to them and sat down. "So, what brings you to Eressea? It wouldn't have anything to do with a certain halfling living near here, would it?"

Sauron looked up at him sharply.

With a laugh, Sidhwe continued. "I thought as much. I always believed that you would show up eventually, once news of the arrival reached you. What I was less sure of was if any would get the… _pleasure_… of your company when you finally came."

Sauron sat up finally. "Well, of course I would bless others with my presence."

"Coming from you, it figures." He stopped now, leaning back and considering Sauron with his honey (or perhaps more closely mead) colored eyes. "So, I know why you came to the island. But why have you come here?"

Sauron rolled his eyes. "You're hardly one to play stupid. If somebody was looking for a good drink, they would be daft not to come here."

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that…" Sidhwe said with a mild smile.

"Don't try to flatter yourself through your modesty," Sauron scoffed.

"I wouldn't dream of it. If I wanted flattery, I'd go about it openly. At the moment, however, that is not what I want to talk about. There is an air of despondency about you. How come?"

"Please, not in front of the elf," Sauron broke in, his voice dismissive and sharp, but his face showing that what Sidhwe had said hit close to a truth Sauron hadn't wanted to have noticed. "Besides," he continued, the sort of cold bitterness that often seeped into his words presenting itself again, "you would be implying that I have emotions then, and none of you seemed very apt to believing that."

If Sidhwe felt anything at Sauron's words, he did not betray it. "I never believed such," he remarked calmly. "Perhaps I did not know you as well as some, but I knew you better than most. You were moody even then and apparently quite capable of having a full range of feelings. While it may be true that some had trouble believing that one could do the things you did and retain emotions, I am not one of them." He rose now, apparently noticing the return of the waitress before they did. "If it frustrated you as much as it seems that they look at you as less, give them a reason to reconsider. Enjoy your evening."

And with that, he bowed just slightly, and melted into the crowd.

Both sat silently. Haldir, for his part, was so on account of slight shock. He could not speak for Sauron's reason for silence. Neither said anything as the drinks were set on the table in from of them, which, Haldir realized too late, was rather rude of them.

It was Sauron who seemed to really come to first. His unreadable expression slowly pulled into one of disdain, yet there seemed, to Haldir at least, to be a slight cloud of uncertainty in his eyes.

Straightening up even more and pulling a little at the fabric of the high collar used to conceal his neck, Sauron cleared his throat. "Well, it finally seems that we've been served. I don't remember you ordering anything, Haldir. Did I miss something?"

Haldir shook himself from his thoughts and then considered the mug in front of him. "No…" he said slowly, "I did not order anything."

"They must have simply assumed then. No matter, is it? You'll be able to deal with that."

Haldir nodded, pulling the mug toward him and looking down at the liquid inside. What if, for whatever reason, he had been given the same thing Sauron had ordered? Why couldn't the children have it? He frowned at his mug and the reflection of himself looking back up from the surface of the drink. Would he explode? Would he implode? Would his intestines burn from the inside out?

His appetite slightly quenched, Haldir glanced at Sauron. He felt some of his apprehension slip away when he saw that Sauron's drink had been served in a tall, transparent glass. Furthermore, rather than amber, the liquid was absolutely clear or, if anything, the palest of blues.

There was no ice in the drink, yet the glass was frosted, and the table around it was gradually becoming the same. Haldir raised a brow. Surely this was not a good idea.

He watched as Sauron reached out slowly, wrapping his hands around the glass and raising it to his lips. The slight expression of unease on his face only helped ferment Haldir's belief that this was a very poor plan.

Yet, nothing bad happened. Sauron leaned back in the chair, cradling the glass against him and smiling softly. He looked up at Haldir, grinning a bit more widely.

"I have been wanting one of these for ages. Literally."

Haldir couldn't help but smile a little too. Shaking his head, the retrieved his mug and took a sip, instantly both surprised and pleased. "That's good!" he exclaimed.

Sauron gave a quiet snort and nodded. "I wouldn't have come here if it wasn't."

Neither spoke for a moment after that, both content with the silence. Haldir scanned the crowd over the rim of his mug, half hoping to at least catch a glimpse of the red-haired elf maid.

Sauron must have been able to tell what he was doing. "I suppose you're a bit put out that you didn't get to order from _her_," he said with his voice muffled as he spoke into his glass, noting when the elleth came back into view.

Haldir nodded absentmindedly. With a small sigh, he figured that he wouldn't be able to speak with her.

Although he was not immediately aware of it, Haldir presently realized that Sauron was studying him. "What?" he asked defensively.

Sauron took another long drink before replying, even though what he said did not really answer Haldir's question. "If she were to come over, what would you do?"

Haldir shrugged. "I don't know…"

"That's a pretty weak answer. I'm sure you can do better."

"What do you want from me?" Haldir asked, raising a brow. "I don't know what I'd do!"

Sauron didn't respond. He downed what little he had left of his drink.

Figuring that it would be better to simply let the conversation die there rather than prompt something that would make Sauron continue his questioning, Haldir opted to be silent.

The waitress seemed to know exactly when they ran out of their beverages and brought them refills the instant the empty cups hit the table.

Haldir was too surprised at this to do anything but gawk at her as she flashed a smile and hurried off into the crowd again.

"Well said," Sauron muttered, grabbing the new glass.

With a small amount of surprise, Haldir looked up at him. "Pardon?"

Sauron merely shook his head and effectively ignored him.

Frowning, Haldir began to brood. He didn't know that he was, of course; it just sort of happened. First he brooded about what Sauron had been cryptically eluding to, and then he brooded a bit about how it wouldn't make any difference if he spoke to the elleth or not since she must live in Eressea, which left him to brooding about relationships and how silly and ridiculous they were so why would he ever want to get into such a tangle anyway.

He didn't realize it then, being too wrapped up in the whole brooding thing, but Sauron had accomplished the intake of a rather applaudable for his purpose, at least amount of drinks. Haldir too had gone through a few more mugs than he had initially intended. It had been his thought that he would take the place of the responsible one. He's make sure to keep his wits clear and prevent Sauron from doing anything too unruly.

By now, however, he had come to the point where any hope for that was pretty much out the window. He didn't realize that his logic had taken a rather warped turn to it, nor could he recognize any other signs that might have been useful in saving himself before it was too late.

After finishing what he suddenly realized was his fifth mug, Haldir pushed away the glass and frowned. He was half aware, finally, that he had drunk just to the threshold of what was a safe amount for him. At least, in Middle-earth. Here, however, he had no experience, and there was no doubt a difference in this brew in relation to what he was used to. For all he knew, what he had drank could be equivalent to much more than what he could handle.

Upon coming to this conclusion, Haldir simply sighed. There really wasn't anything he could do about it now.

This time, he didn't find a new pint placed out before him the instant he had pushed back the last. Instead, the red-haired lady stopped for a moment, shifting her load of cups and mugs from one arm to another. "Is there anything else that I can get for either of you?"

Haldir felt his words get lost upon his tongue when he realized that she had been looking directly at him while she had addressed them both.

"Do you have anything more potent, perhaps?" Sauron replied, making Haldir frown at the distraction that had pulled the elleth's eyes away from him.

She nodded. "We have something that is less smooth, or so I've been told by the Lord, but yes, we serve something that is… stiffer."

"I'll take a few of those then," Sauron said, leaning back in his chair expectantly.

Inclining her head slightly, she looked back at Haldir. "And you? Is there anything that I could get for you?"

"Perhaps some water, if you could, please?"

She smiled. "Of course."

When she had disappeared again, Haldir looked up at Sauron, instantly raising his brows at what he saw before him. How could he have missed the mount of drinks Sauron had gone through? The table was littered with the tall, thin glasses. There had to be at least nine.

Sauron looked pretty much as he always did, although there was a heightened color to his cheeks, as though his blush had never completely retreated. His expression was also less closed and cold than usual, but apparently this wasn't the effect that he was desiring.

But Haldir figured that he might as well try. "Are you sure that you need more? You never know, I mean, we haven't been here _that _long. If could still kick in…"

"No," Sauron cut in abruptly. "Do I look drunk to you?"

Haldir slowly shook his head.

"Then I'm not done." There was a pause before Sauron spoke up again. "You know…" he said, throwing a glance around the building, "you don't have to baby-sit me during all of this."

"I don't," Haldir responded dryly.

"No," Sauron continued, by his tone apparently ignoring the irony in Haldir's. "I'm capable of lifting glasses and swallowing, so I see no need for you to sit here with me and be bored."

"Oh? And just what would you propose I do instead?"

"There seem to be people dancing over there," he said, nodding his head in the direction. "Perhaps you could pass five minutes dancing with _her_."

A flood of thoughts and feelings surged up to meet this proposition. The first to manifest itself into speech, however, was incredulousness. "Are you mad?" he asked, eyes widening.

"It is quite possible," Sauron replied nonchalantly.

Haldir huffed. "For one, she's working. Two, I've spoken all of a sentence to her. What would lead you to believe that she would possibly be able, yet along want, to dance with me?"

Sauron gave him a sly, triumphant grin then, for no reason that Haldir could comprehend.

It was then that he realized the elf maid was standing behind him and had heard everything he had just said.

In all of his life, Haldir had done a number of rather embarrassing things. He was quite good at it. However, he hadn't done anything of this nature.

All things considered, he was pretty much mortified. He was sure that his face was going to burn off.

The elleth set the drinks Sauron had ordered down on the table in front of him and then looked over at Haldir, who would not meet her gaze. "You wanted to dance with me?" she asked him softly.

Haldir opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. It ended up being Sauron that replied.

"Yes, I do think he did. He was just too scared of being turned down to get the guts to actually ask."

"_Iaewur_!" Haldir hissed, eyes wide.

To his surprise, the maid laughed. "Well then, I can take care of that problem." She leaned toward Haldir slightly, some of her flaming curls falling over her shoulders. "Would you please dance with me?"

Haldir could not help but stare. Has _she _just asked _him_?

Hesitantly, he stood up, still a bit stunned as she slipped her hand within his and pulled him across the building. For a moment, Haldir almost thought he heard Sauron laughing from back at the table, but his concentration was too bent upon the woman at his side to take much notice.

She smiled up at him shyly a few times as they made their way through the crowd. For a few moments, Haldir was still too startled with this recent development to say anything, but he finally found his voice. "As pleasant as it would be to dance with you, my lady-"

"Raudwen," she interjected, a small smirk upon her lips as she glanced at him.

"Raudwen," Haldir repeated slowly, shaking himself back to his purpose. "As nice as it would be, I would hate to cause you any trouble…"

"How could you possibly cause me any trouble?" she asked as they slowed and stepped into the mass of dancing couples. "I'm the one, after all, that asked you to accompany me."

"True," he assented, smiling for the first time as some of his shock wore off. "But surely, you can't just stop serving…"

Raudwen waved her hand. "We're allowed to take a couple breaks a night, if we feel so inclined. Thankfully, I haven't done so yet."

Now she turned to face him, letting the hand that was within Haldir's remain there and placing her other one upon his shoulder. Almost unconsciously, Haldir set his hand at her waist.

He did, of course, know how to dance. Due to his station within the guard and his father's position before that, Haldir had been required to attend a variety of balls and banquets. So, such a dance was nothing foreign to him.

Wanting to do so, however, was.

For a minute, there was silence between the two of them as they fell into the rhythm with everybody else. Soon, however, Raudwen turned her bright eyes back up to Haldir.

She didn't speak instantly, instead looking over the features of his face, which, quite honestly, made Haldir a great deal uncomfortable.

"What is your name?" she asked quite suddenly, her gaze directed back to his eyes.

"Haldir," he replied automatically.

She nodded slowly, then smiled again. That smiled seemed to never leave her face. "You are not from Valinor, then, are you?"

"No," he said. "I lived in Lothlorien."

Again, she nodded. "What is it like?"

"What like?" he asked, puzzled.

"Middle-earth."

He gave her a small smile. "I don't know if I could give you a satisfactory response to that."

This time, it was her turn to blush. "I'm sorry; I wasn't thinking," she said with a shake of her head.

"Oh, no!" Haldir started quickly. "I had once asked about Valinor, but received a similar answer. I suppose it's just a natural question."

"Perhaps."

Haldir looked around them, grasping at something to say. "So, you must have been born in Valinor then."

"Here in Eressea in fact," she confirmed. "Do you live here now?"

"No," he replied. "I've lived in Valmar for a while now. This has been the first time that I've been to Eressea."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, pausing for a minute so that another couple ran into them. After a hasty apology, she turned her attention back on him. "This is your first time here?"

"Yes," Haldir said, surprised at the earnest curiosity in her voice.

For a second, a frown pulled down the corners of her mouth, and Haldir wondered what he could have said to create such a response. He berated himself until he finally heard her say, "It's a pity that it is so late. Otherwise I would have taken you around the city at least and shown you some of the wonders it has to offer."

At this, Haldir looked at her a bit more closely. He noticed the disappointment in her expression and could not help but feel a wash of … well, something in any case. Had he not just learned her name a handful of minutes ago? And yet she was talking to him as though they had been acquainted long before.

From then, he was not quite sure what to say. What little he had in the way of wit failed him. It wasn't as though he had any experience speaking to women like this. So he merely let himself be content in dancing with her through the remainder of the song.

When it ended, he suddenly realized how closely they had ended up during the dance. He quickly pulled back a bit, looking at her nervously. But Raudwen only smiled that smile up at him, hooking her arm with his and heading back towards the Haldir's table.

Haldir wasn't sure what possessed them as they walked back, but he suddenly cleared his throat and, all in one burst, asked if there was any way he might see her again.

He felt disgusted with himself the moment the words were out of his mouth. Her silence did nothing to help it. But then she looked at him and he noticed the light blush on her cheeks and the awkward way she twisted one curl in her free hand. "If you ever wanted to or ever possibly could… I would like that." Of course she then smiled, but this time it was a bit coy.

Haldir was not sure why exactly her answer made him so happy. She was, after all, in Eressea, and it seemed unlikely that he would be able to return for a while. But in any case, the simple fact that she would like to see him made him feel remarkably chipper.

He wondered if his drinks earlier had anything to do with it. He almost hoped they had; all these actions and feelings weren't really ones he was entirely comfortable with.

By then they had come close to reaching the table, and Haldir glanced down at Raudwen again. "Goodnight, Raudwen," he said softly.

"Goodnight, Haldir," she returned. She gave his arm a light squeeze, and then disappeared into the chaos.

With a sigh, Haldir turned to the table and found a small party of people situated around it. Well, actually, a small party consisted of females. For a moment Haldir wondered if Sauron had randomly wandered off and the table had been taken.

That was, until he caught sight of the unruly mess of black hair that could only belong to that darned maia.

So, that answered one question, yet raised so many more.

Frowning, he came a bit closer, now able to catch snatches of conversation. It seemed that Sauron was putting on some sort of show, basking in the spotlight. The fact that the audience was only women didn't appear to be bothering him much.

When he reached the table, Haldir crossed his arms and looked at Sauron expectantly. The maia, however, did not take the hint. Indeed, he didn't even seem to notice the hint, or the hint-giver for that matter.

It was then that it clicked for Haldir that Sauron had reached his goal. He was, indeed, drunk. Somehow quite magically so in the last five to ten minutes.

His frown deepening, Haldir spoke up. "Ready to go, Iaewur?" he asked, irritated. Why it irked him as much as it did, he couldn't quite say.

Sauron's head snapped up to look at him. "Haldir!" he simply stated, a sort of stupid smile plastered across his face.

Haldir glanced around. "Uh, yeah. That's my name."

Sauron nodded. "Yes. Yes it is. What's this about going?"

"I think that we should be heading back now. It's late and we have an early morning, remember?"

"No," he replied, quite bluntly, blinking.

Haldir sighed, pulling out a couple coins from a small pouch on his belt and tossing them on the table. After a thought, he added a few more, hoping that they would make their way to Raudwen.

Then he turned his attention back on Sauron. "Come on now; it's time to go."

A rather pathetic pout replaced the earlier smile. "Why?"

"I told you. Come on." Haldir did everything in his power to keep from being completely creeped out by this strange mood change the alcohol apparently had.

"But…" Sauron glanced around at the people around him. "I need to finish my story!"

The women gave small agreements, and Haldir sighed. "I'm sorry, but we really must go now before you… we just have to leave, okay?"

Sauron frowned, surveying the glasses and mugs in front of him. Then a rather impish smile crossed his face and he took one of the mugs and held it in front of Haldir.

Haldir stared at it. "Okay…"

"Drink it," Sauron explained, waving it a bit, causing some of the liquid to slosh over the side.

"Um… no," Haldir said slowly.

"How come?"

"Because you drank out of it," Haldir said, stating the obvious.

"I did not! This one is new, I'll have you know, and I never got around to it because I was talking. Drink it!"

Haldir shook his head. "Why?"

"It will make you happy," Sauron stated, his expression serious.

"I'm plenty happy as it is. But you know what, you coming along and leaving would make me even happier," Haldir tried, pointing towards the door.

There wasn't even a pause before Sauron responded with, "Drink it and then I'll go."

Haldir stared at him, then shook his head and grabbed the glass. He felt pretty clear headed, all things considered, and figured that he'd be able to get back to the room at the inn before the drink could take affect anyway. It wasn't worth it to argue with the miserable thing anymore. He just wanted to be able to go back and sleep.

Quickly he downed the content of the mug, smacking it down on the table when he finished. "There, happy? Let's go."

Sauron did get up, but he snorted as he did so.

Brows drawing together, Haldir looked at him. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

"I did drink out of it," he said, snorting again, and then following the sighing Haldir toward the door. "Namarie, ladies!" he called back over his shoulder at the women still seated at the table.

Haldir shook his head, quite disturbed.

By the time they reached the door, however, he began to feel worried. His footing was less steady, and he felt distinctly light-headed. Pressing a hand to his eyes, he looked at Sauron, who was happily plodding along at his side. "What was that, exactly?" he asked.

"The strong stuff," Sauron whispered in a conspiratorial manner. "Very strong."

Haldir sighed, knowing that he should be more upset than he was at that. But he simply wasn't that angry. He did, instead, feel rather giddy. He almost instantly forgot why he felt an odd sense of foreboding hanging over his head.

As they exited the building and come into the cool night air, Sauron paused. "Night is such a lovely time," he said thoughtfully. "It's the best time of the day, you know."

Haldir snorted. "How can it be the best time of the day when it's night?" he asked.

"I mean day as in the measurement of time, not the period of it that is light, stupid," he scoffed. The glower on his face fled quickly though, replaced by that mischievous look. "One can do all sorts of things during the night…"

"Like?" Haldir prodded, a brow raises skeptically.

Sauron took on a mysterious air then. "I'll show you, but you'll have to help."

Haldir frowned, wondering why in the back of his head something told him that this was a bad idea. "There won't be anything dangerous, will there?"

"No," Sauron assured, nodding. "Quite safe."

Haldir tried to grasp for some rational thinking, but failed, slipping a bit further into the mental stupor that last drink has started to pull him towards. "And it isn't bad?"

A nonchalant shrug. "Not particularly."

Tapping his chin with his finger for a moment, Haldir finally shrugged. "Alrighty. I'll go."

Sauron gave a wider smile than Haldir could remember him ever giving before. "This will be fun…" he said softly to himself as began to make his way down the street, Haldir following behind.

I:I:I:I:I

So, they are finally getting to the good stuff! Wow, this sad chapter that was supposed to be one ends up being at least three. That's… special. I guess.


	37. Remember Those Explosives?

When Haldir woke up, his head was throbbing. Curtains were drawn across the window on the wall he was facing, but the faint light that slipped between the curtain and the wall burned into his eyes.

Grimacing, he shut his eyes again, turning over slowly to keep the pain radiating though his head from spiking too highly.

Haldir pulled the blankets up over his head, blocking out what little light had remained. For once, he cursed his sensitive ears for catching every faint noise: a creaking floor, a bird outside, a branch brushing the window in a slight breeze.

For a minute, Haldir frowned in his dark cave of blankets. A branch? Of a tree? Since when had there been a tree outside the window? The day before there had not been one, and slowly he came to the conclusion that one couldn't just have grown over night.

Slowly, he dared to open one eye slightly, pulling the blankets down to his nose. No, this room was indeed very different from the one he had thought he would be sleeping in.

It was at that moment that a door opened, instantly drawing his attention and anger as another flood of light reached his eyes.

The door was promptly shut behind the person, however, and Haldir was able to open his eyes again.

He couldn't help but frown when he recognized the person. "Mithrandir…?" he asked, propping himself up in his pillows while trying to ignore the wave of nausea that assaulted him.

Mithrandir nodded, walking into the room and setting a glass on the nightstand. "Drink this as soon as you can," he said, making his way back to the door. "Not that you really deserve it."

Still frowning, Haldir rubbed the back of his neck, then picked up the glass and drank its contents obediently. It tasted revolting, but Haldir figured that there had to be some reason why Mithrandir had told him to drink it.

Once he set the glass down, he fell back into the pillows, feeling slightly better. And then he tried to remember what had happened the night before.

At first, it had seemed that Sauron had forgotten whatever plan he had for showing what sort of fun could be done during the night. They had wandered the streets for quite a while, with no further talk about the earlier subject. Sauron had slipped into speaking in various tongues Haldir did not know and did not truly care to be enlightened about. Sauron was probably complaining or speaking of some random act of destruction, and it didn't hurt Haldir a bit that he was missing it.

His expressions were pretty amusing, however. He was more animated than Haldir had ever seen him. Unfortunately, this got dangerous during the times when he was flailing his arms about and nearly smacked Haldir in the face.

This had gone on for some time before Haldir realized that there seemed to be a rather musical quality finding its way into Sauron's speech.

After furrowing his brow in consideration for a moment, Haldir turned to look at Sauron in order to draw some sort of conclusion. Sauron did not really seem to be the singing type of person, so the fact that he was doing anything of a similar nature was a bit alarming -- or so it would have been, had Haldir been sober. As it was, he was simply mildly puzzled and vaguely aware of the fact that it was a bit odd.

At the moment, Sauron had ceased to talk, but now seemed to be humming to himself. Haldir cocked his head to the side. "Are you humming?" he asked, even though it was blatantly clear that Sauron was indeed doing so.

Sauron stopped humming instantly, although he did not look at Haldir. "Was I?"

"I think you were."

"Oh." With hardly a pause to consider it, Sauron shrugged and once began to hum again.

Haldir blinked. "You don't usually hum," he pointed out.

"I'm not usually drunk, either," Sauron replied, much too sing-song.

He put up with it for a while, but it eventually got to the point where Haldir understood that there was something decidedly creepy about it. "I don't like it," he said finally.

Sauron snorted. "Why ever not? I know I'm not off key."

"I don't know. It's just… too out of character?" he tried after thinking about it.

"Well, you know," Sauron said in a matter-of-fact tone, "you should be glad that I could sing."

Haldir made a face before laughing. "You haven't proven that you can sing, for one thing, and for another, I don't know why I would be happy if you could."

"It's quite simple, really. All the ainur can sing, you know. It's how we helped create the world, after all! Really now." He shook his head in a chastising manner. "Saying I couldn't sing, honestly."

"Why would you want that counted in your repertoire of abilities, I do not know," Haldir said honestly.

"The more accomplishments, the better."

Haldir's expression must have been rather skeptical. Considering how he accepted Sauron's explanation, Haldir didn't know how else his face would look. "… I still think the only thing your voice is good for is verbally lashing or deceiving people."

With a small laugh, Sauron nodded a bit. "Perhaps…" he murmured, then frowned thoughtfully. Haldir did not notice him glance over before he apparently decided that Haldir needed to be shown that he was, once again, wrong, for at that moment he began to sing.

Haldir paused in mid-step, unsure about how he wanted to react. One thing he felt a bit sure about was his belief that Sauron might have been singing in Valarin, for, while it was a beautiful language, it also gave Haldir the feeling that he shouldn't be hearing it.

As it went, Haldir couldn't say that Sauron was bad at singing, as much as he wanted to. In that was the main problem, for it was impossible for Haldir to reconcile Sauron's personality with anything of a positive nature, really, be it singing or something else, like laughter. So long as Haldir could hardly put the voice together with Sauron, it was rather had to make any decision.

He frowned.

Sauron, meanwhile, seeming to have decided that one stanza was quite sufficient, had stopped and was now looking at Haldir with an expression that clearly demanded praise. "Well?" he finally ventured when Haldir was not forthcoming in a response.

"Was that really necessary?" Haldir asked in turn, still a bit shocked to find that somebody with such a caustic tongue could actually sing.

"Probably not," Sauron said indifferently. "Then again, I don't recall being one to simply act in ways because it was necessary."

Haldir had to nod at this. "What did it mean?"

"The song?"

"What else would I be referring to?" Haldir asked, blinking.

Sauron held up a hand. "I don't know." After a pause, he specified. "I don't know what it meant."

Haldir laughed after taking a moment to make sure that Sauron was serious. "You don't know what you were saying, and yet you remember the song?" he asked incredulously.

"It's ground into my brain!" Sauron said in defense. "I could sing that in my sleep. I've tried to get it out before, but it just stays. Apparently I was successful in getting rid of the meaning, however. I really don't remember much of the language."

"That's pathetic."

"A little, I suppose," Sauron agreed. "… But I sang it."

"That you did," Haldir said, shaking his head.

For whatever reason, this seemed to appease Sauron, who adopted a somewhat smug grin.

Somewhere in the time following that, they had found another bar and went in, spending roughly half an hour there. Still, it had been a long enough for Sauron to go through an amount of glasses to allow him to make a small pyramid.

Sadly, Haldir had given in and had a few drinks himself. At the time, it had been nice; he'd felt splendid, which was something he hadn't truly felt in a long while.

Once they had left there, Sauron had started speaking in Quenya once more and Haldir could again follow what he was saying.

"This is lovely," Sauron said, smiling.

"It's something," Haldir conceded.

"Am I drunk now?" he asked simply.

Haldir glanced at him, then nodded. "I'd say that it is a pretty safe assumption."

Sauron clasped his hands behind his back, looking straight ahead. "I didn't really think it would work. After my luck with my plans and all, I didn't really think it'd work."

Raising a brow, Haldir looked up at him. "Work?"

"I didn't actually expect that I would feel better. I wanted to, but I didn't think I would. It tends to be difficult for me to get out of my moods."

While Haldir was a bit surprised at this candidness, he didn't say so.

"I feel just wonderful. I can't remember having felt this good," Sauron continued. "And I can still remember all the awful things, and yet they just don't matter. I can't care. Actually, it's a bit unnerving, I suppose, but I can't bring myself to care about that, either." There was a pause, and then he went on, in a softer, thoughtful voice. "I doubt that we could get the whole world this way, so that they'd all not care as well, hm?"

Haldir didn't look at him this time. He didn't want to see if Sauron's expression agreed with the slight note of remorse in his voice.

Out of the corner of his eye, Haldir saw Sauron shake his head. "Silly thought. I always can bring the mood down, no?"

"You do have a knack for it," Haldir replied, hoping to turn the conversation in a different direction.

Sauron laughed softly. "You've gotten more of it than anybody. I never care how I treat you."

"Gee, thanks," Haldir muttered sullenly, a bit put out.

He suddenly lurched forward as Sauron's arm was slung over his shoulder. It reminded him greatly of another moment a year or so ago. "It's very refreshing. In the past, it's almost always an act. When I was in control, say, at Barad-dur, I wasn't around people, really. It was just me. Everybody was too freaked out to actually say anything against my opinion or what they assumed to be my opinion. Then, if I was going about infiltrating and whatnot, I was _not _being myself, and that was frustrating. Then again, people did speak against me, and I got to exercise my oratory skills, which I do enjoy. But, see, I get both, in a measure, now. I don't have to pretend to be nice and polite; I can be cold and caustic when I feel like it, yet you don't let me walk all over you. Not most of the time, at least. And considering that you botch up most of the things you try to argue, I always get the satisfaction of winning the arguments." He smiled at Haldir, almost in such a good-natured way as to make Haldir think Sauron was trying to tease him but not truly demean him.

"Oh yes, well, I _am _here for your entertainment after all, my _lord_," he responded, his voice oozing with sarcasm.

Sauron laughed, that rare laugh of his that Haldir hadn't heard since the day Rumil had ruined his hair. Haldir supposed that it had something to do with the alcohol, but didn't care as it was much more pleasant than that "how can you be that pathetic?" laugh that Sauron always had.

"You're good. I'm quite glad that, since I would have been stuck with something, I got stuck with you."

Haldir was pretty unsure about how to respond. That had been a compliment, hadn't it?

"We shall pretend that I never said that, hm? I suppose I should try to keep my reputation up. Allow me that?"

Haldir nodded wordlessly.

"Good child," Sauron responded, patting Haldir's shoulder and then removing his arm.

Haldir decided that he didn't like being called that as it made him remember how terribly old Sauron really was, which was just odd. Not to mention that it was a bit degrading to be referred to as a child.

They walked on for a while in silence, not really going anywhere in particular. A breeze came off the sea, just a block below them. Haldir closed his eyes for a moment, letting the cool air blow on his face.

Apparently it was at that moment that the street decided to become uneven and his foot caught in one of the loose stones.

Sauron caught him by the collar, dragging him back up. "Of all my habits, clumsiness was not the one I had hoped you would pick up," he said as Haldir straightened his tunic.

"What had you hoped I'd pick up?" Haldir asked.

"Oh, I dunno," Sauron replied, although it was obvious that he did.

Haldir didn't press him, but frowned.

Knowing that Haldir hadn't liked the answer, Sauron reluctantly added, "I suppose a bit more orderliness would be nice."

While it wasn't all of it, for sure, it was something.

These moments of thoughtfulness passed and Sauron returned to being quite obviously drunk. "I don't suppose it is of any real consequence," he said, shaking his head and then losing his balance himself. He quickly steadied himself against the wall of the building next to him. "This stuff does not help my coordination," he complained, frowning seriously. "If my neck isn't broken by the end of the night, it will be a miracle."

"It can be like a game," Haldir chirped.

"Exactly!" Sauron flipped his hair back from his face, once again smiling stupidly. "If I lose, I'll lose my body, because I believe breaking your neck causes death, am I right? So I'd lose my body, which I --" He glanced sidelong at Haldir. "-- am very good at."

Haldir let out one quick yelp of laughter before restraining himself.

"Buuut, if I win and don't break my neck, then… I don't know what I get. Well, that's a bit unfair."

"Ah, it's okay." Haldir looked around and cocked his head. "Where are we going?"

For a moment, Sauron considered the question, tapping his chin. "Where _were _we going?" Suddenly, he threw his hands in the air triumphantly. "My plan! My evil plan!" He cleared his throat and then lowered his voice to a whisper. "I need some materials so that the plan may be accomplished. Naturally, you need to help me, since you said that you would take part in the scheme."

"I thought you had said it wouldn't be bad," Haldir said warily, a bit jarred from his thoughts by the mention of evil.

"Well, it isn't _very _bad. I mean, considering all the things I've done before, this is extremely minor! I wouldn't even consider it anything in… the time… before… now."

Haldir looked ahead blankly, undisturbed for the most part. For a moment he wondered why he wasn't bothered, because, somewhere in his head, a little voice was yelling at him for what he was doing. After contemplating, he decided that the little voice would have to speak up if it really wanted to be heard, and since it didn't, it obviously didn't have anything important to say. "Exactly what sort of supplies are you needing to get?"

Still smiling, Sauron brushed out the wrinkles on the front of his tunic. "Depends on the route I decide to take. Possibly more alcohol, but I need a different kind than we've had so far this evening."

"To drink?" Haldir asked, puzzled.

Sauron laughed, then cut himself off abruptly, waving his hand and shaking his head. "No, no, I think I've had quite enough of that. Maybe." He paused, seemingly considering the proposition. "No, I've had enough," he said decidedly, as though silencing an argument within his head.

He then proceeded to rattle off a variety of other substances that he needed to get depending on if he chose the first plan or the second. Most of the things Haldir didn't recognize. But he didn't really care. He was now perusing the pattern of the stones that made up the road.

There didn't seem to be any imminent end to Sauron's list of supplies, so Haldir cut in. "And what will all this make when you are done?"

"As I said, it depends. But…" He paused here, thinking. "When we talked about it, you seemed a bit interested in fireworks. Am I correct?"

"Mmmm…" Haldir thought, trying to remember the conversation. "Fireworks? Like, when you told me about that whole thing with Yavanna's garden?"

Sauron nodded. "That would be the thing."

"Yes, I was," Haldir admitted reluctantly.

With a bit of a smug expression, Sauron continued. "That settles it, then."

Haldir looked at him expectantly, raising his eyebrows as he waited for what they would be doing. No answer came. "…So what are we making?"

"Oh! Oh yes, right…" Sauron said with a start, apparently remembering that Haldir wanted an answer. "Well, you see, I'm willing to share with you my knowledge of the subject."

This last statement turned itself over in Haldir's mind for a moment, trying to reach the conclusion of what it meant. "We're going to make a firework?" he finally stated dumbly.

"Close. _You _are going to make a firework. I'm going to teach you. You should feel rather honored as I haven't taught anybody anything… ever… unless I thought it would do something for me in the end. In a way, I guess I do get something out of this. It'll be amusing. But entertainment is my only goal."

After considering this too for a moment, Haldir smirked slightly. "And then what? We just light it?"

"Pretty much," Sauron responded with a shrug.

"That's a bit lame," Haldir pointed out slowly.

Sauron's head snapped in Haldir's direction. "Pardon?" he asked, a cold edge on his voice.

"What I mean is that if you go through all that trouble and simply set it off, what does that get you? You don't plan on using it somehow?"

Raising a brow, Sauron pointed at him. "Are you suggesting…" he began slowly, as though he didn't comprehend exactly what Haldir was hinting at, "that I make it _worse_?"

"I… guess…" Haldir admitted with enough decency to be shocked with himself.

There was a slight pause, and then Sauron let out a whoop. Haldir was surprised at the noise, yet couldn't help but laugh… it just sounded too funny.

"I can't believe it!" Sauron exclaimed, putting a hand to his head. "The little elfling has turned bad!"

"Hardly," Haldir said, trying to brush the comment away. "It was simply a fact, wasn't it? Why go through all that trouble and risk just to set it off easily?"

"That is true," Sauron agreed. "But it is also true that, obviously, somewhere in that head of yours, you have some desire to see what the 'other side' is like, don't you?"

"I suppose everybody does at times," Haldir answered vaguely in an attempt to divert the attention from himself.

"That is likely true. Still…" Sauron grinned slyly. "I never thought you'd actually _say _anything to hint at such.

Haldir found that there really was no proper response to this and so remained silent as he followed Sauron.

Haldir almost felt a thrill as they planted the firework into the ground. With a small smile, he struck the flint a few times to give his hands something to do while he waited for Sauron to finish positioning the firework. "Where exactly will it explode, if you aim it that way?" he asked, watching the sparks in the darkness.

Sauron looked up from his work and examined the sky. After a moment, he pointed to a place above Mithrandir's house. "About there," he said, then went back to aiming. "Should be nice and loud for him." He smiled darkly.

They were quiet for a minute then, just the sound of the flint occasionally breaking the silence, during which time Haldir reflected on the last hour or so. It had been rather eventful, actually. They had managed to round up a varied array of things that Sauron claimed were necessary to make a firework, and then, of course, had made one.

He did feel slightly bad about their acquisition of the materials. After Sauron had picked the lock and they had gone into the dark store he had singled out, Haldir had felt a small pang of discomfort. They had broken into the store. Sauron had told him to shush when he had voiced his unease, but that obviously hadn't helped anything.

The only solution he had found was that, while Sauron had gone around and gathered the various things, Haldir had found the prices and then set the necessary money behind the counter. Sauron had scoffed at this and been pretty perturbed, but in the end he had let Haldir leave the money. "You'll be complaining about it all night and we won't get a thing done otherwise," he had muttered as they hurried out the door.

After that, they had gone back over to Mithrandir's estate and set up the materials in a patch of the yard. It was almost disturbing the sense of command and order that Sauron seemed to get once he was giving Haldir directions. Sure, he was bossy and domineering most of the time, but this was just creepy. He was extremely particular about everything and Haldir was not allowed to make any mistakes, however minor.

So, in the end, there had been a firework. Haldir had been a bit proud of this accomplishment, and, interestingly enough, Sauron seemed to be, too. "Well, you actually followed what I said," he stated, a note of surprise in his voice. "We'll just have to see how it turns out."

Haldir was brought back to reality when Sauron stood up suddenly, wiping the dewy grass from his knees where he had knelt. "Ready, then?" he asked without looking at Haldir.

With a nod, Haldir leaned down, setting the flint carefully by the fuse. He glanced back over his shoulder at Sauron, silently asking if he should strike. Sauron nodded quickly, and without a moment's more thought, Haldir lit the fuse.

In nearly the same moment, Sauron dragged him to his feet and pulled him to a group of trees. "You'll be very unhappy if you're next to it when it goes off," he explained as he pushed Haldir behind a tree.

Peeking around the trunk, Haldir watched as the firework launched into the sky, sailing along with a low whistle that cut the still night.

"Wait for it…" Sauron whispered from his side.

Not a moment later, the next fuse must have caught and there was a brilliant flash of golden light that illuminated the grounds around them to a nearly noontime brightness. The light lingered for a moment and then slowly dissolved through a variety of colors, mimicking the sunset several hours earlier.

Sauron had his hands behind his back during the show, a smile on his face. "That is classy, is it not?" he asked.

"It is," Haldir agreed, surprised that from the few things they had taken such a display could be made.

He was not sure why he had forgotten the bang until it thundered through the air. Shocked by the noise, and that it had taken so long, Haldir fell back against the tree, his eyes gawking wildly around to Sauron. "That was loud," he whispered hoarsely.

"Of course it was loud. Supposed to be," Sauron replied, but there was a note of surprise in his voice.

"Please say that it was supposed to be _that _loud."

Sauron didn't answer.

That wasn't good.

Neither was the fact that when he looked back up at the house, the firework had apparently landed on the roof and lit it on fire.

For a moment, he merely stared at it, not able to comprehend what he was looking at.

And then everything broke out in a way befitting his drunken state.

"Sweet Elbereth!" Haldir moaned, grabbing Sauron's shoulders and shaking him, only to turn back to the tree in order to bang his head against it.

A hand pulled him back from smashing his forehead against the bark more. "That isn't how to handle this," Sauron said in such a grim tone that Haldir momentarily forgot that he was drunk, too. "Come along."

He then ran forward, Haldir close behind. In a few moments they reached the front door, which Sauron unceremoniously threw open.

They walked into a large, circular entry room, at least three stories tall with a glass dome at the ceiling. Haldir did not admire it long on account that he feared he would tip over if he continued looking straight up without a view of the horizon.

At that moment, Sauron began to yell. "Mithrandir! Mithrandir! I know you'll be able to hear me -- you never failed to point out that I had a big mouth! Mithrandir! Wake up and get down here, you prune! Your damned house is on fire! Do you hear me? Get UP!"

By this time, he was absolutely bellowing, his words reverberating off the walls and up to the ceiling.

A couple elves, apparently servants or some such thing, had actually been at the banisters that lined the entry way from floors above already, looking both bewildered and more than half asleep. Since none of them were whom Sauron wanted, he continued to scream at the top of his lungs, making Haldir start to wince as his voice cut into his ears. Panic and volume were not nice additives to Sauron's voice, Haldir quickly decided.

Finally, when it looked like Sauron would resort to running up the stairs himself to find Mithrandir, he appeared at the top railing.

"On fire, you say?" he stated calmly, leaning out into the open space a little and looking up at the glass dome, where the slight flickering glow of fire was easily discernable.

He gave a barely audible sigh and then turned away from the rail. "Come along then everybody. Bring water."

There was instantly a fluttering of movement as the servants rushing to get water.

Haldir looked at Sauron with a tinge of helplessness. When Sauron made it clear that he was going to be following the servants for water, Haldir, a bit surprised though he was, followed.

After acquiring large bowls, since all of the pails had already been taken, they made their way with everybody else to the roof. Haldir was impressed that neither of them had dropped the bowls or spilled any great amount of water, even in their state.

By the time they had reached the top, it seemed that most of the fire had already been extinguished.

They poured their water onto the flames. After the next three people poured out their loads, the fire was no more and all that was left was the smoking, soggy, charred roof.

It was at that exact moment that Haldir realized what an uncomfortable situation they were really in. They had just barged into the house, pointing out the fire on the roof and nothing else. But, how had they seen the fire? Why had they been in such a strange part of the island at that time of night? And how had the fire started?

It seemed that these questions were going through the minds of the other people who were there as well for, as the shock wore off, a suspicious glint crept into their eyes.

One thing Haldir noted at lucky was the fact that the packaging of the firework had apparently all burned out with the fire. Still, there was a definitely suspicious air about it.

"Go back to bed," Mithrandir told everybody quietly.

There was a pause, and then the soft shuffle of feet as they made their way back into the house.

So, that left Mithrandir, Sauron, and Haldir standing silently in the dark.

Mithrandir began to pace around the burned area of the roof, surveying the damage. "It looks like it will be easy to fix," he said thoughtfully. He looked up directly at Sauron. "Don't you think?"

Sauron folded his arms across his chest defensively and then nodded tersely. "It would not be difficult."

After considering Sauron for a moment and seemingly coming to some sort of decision from his small nod, Mithrandir went back to looking at the mess. "This was not exactly the manner in which I expected to meet you again," he said, dropping the topic of the fire for the moment.

Sauron apparently had guessed that this was coming and did not look at all surprised at the statement. He only nodded again, rocking a bit on his heels.

"Firework?"

Another nod, followed by a pause.

"Why?"

There was very genuine curiosity to Mithrandir's tone. At the moment, he didn't seem terribly upset by what had occurred. Haldir knew that this, unfortunately, wouldn't last.

Sauron scratched the back of his head, apparently trying very hard to sound intelligent. "I've heard that you claim to be the first person to have made fireworks. I found that to be a terrible affront."

This time it was Mithrandir who nodded. "So, you made a firework to show me up?"

"Actually, it was Haldir who made the firework. I simply supplied the knowledge to make it."

At these words, Haldir felt the blood drain from his face. Not a good change in the tables. Mithrandir's attention was turned to him now, the bright eyes considering him gravely.

Mithrandir promptly nodded and turned away again, leaving Haldir to let out a long breath. "Why would you do that, Haldir?" Mithrandir asked, once again causing Haldir to be as uneasy as he had been a moment before.

"I…" Haldir began, but could find no words. For the first time that night, he realized how tired he really was. He felt like everything was spinning around him as he tried to think of something to justify his actions. For a moment, he closed his eyes, planning on opening them again.

But, apparently, he hadn't. He could not remember anymore except for waking up.

By now, the medicine must have been working fully because when his curiosity convinced him to pull his blanket back, the light didn't make him want to vomit.

Rubbing his eyes to clear his vision, Haldir sat up and looked about. With a great amount of care, he stood up, testing his legs and finding that they would hold him.

He walked around the room for a moment, stretching his stiff limbs. He paused in front of a mirror, grimacing at his reflection. For the most part he looked respectable, except for when it came to his eyes, where the skin underneath was gray, causing his eyes to appear saucer-like. Sighing, he kneaded his palms against his eyes and turned to the door.

He started when he noted the figure standing at his door, leaning against the door jam.

It was almost humorous. If Haldir had _felt _like the undead that one morning after not having slept, Sauron _looked _like the undead. His head was down a bit as he looked at the ground, apparently waiting patiently for Haldir to finish gawking at his reflection. With his head at that angle, all of Sauron's dark, sleep-tousled hair fell forward into his face, causing his already sharp features to be shadowed and forced into greater contrast. His arms were folded, his hands looking incredibly pale against the dark fabric, not to mention that his gaunt frame made his clothes hang oddly. Haldir felt a pang of anxiety looking at him. Sauron hardly looked as though he had the right to be standing and breathing.

At that moment, Sauron looked up, letting the light from the window hit him clearly in the face. The frightening appearance drained away, leaving behind a Sauron that looked to be nothing more than a hung-over elf.

Sauron apparently realized that Haldir had seen him and came into the room slowly, rubbing his temples. "Is this what you meant when you said that the morning after wasn't any fun?" he asked, his voice hoarse, apparently from the yelling the night before.

"It would be," Haldir replied, leaning back against the wall while watching Sauron's sluggish progress across the room to the bed, where he sat down heavily.

"My head feels like I have somebody hitting hammers against it," he said slowly, closing his eyes and setting his head in his hands. "Hundreds of hammers."

"Did Mithrandir not bring you any medicine?" Haldir asked curiously.

Sauron tipped his head without opening his eyes. "Medicine?"

For a moment, Haldir considered not continuing, but, with a sigh, did so. "Did you just wake up?"

"Yes," Sauron responded weakly.

"Let me try to find him to see if there is anything for you."

"Thank you," Sauron muttered absently, missing Haldir's shock at the courteous reply.

Haldir wandered into the hall, wondering vaguely where Sauron's room had been and how long it had taken Sauron to find his room. Out in the hall, windows lining the wall allowed Haldir to look out at the sea. For a moment, he paused at one, leaning against the windowsill as he watched the lapping of the waves.

A voice at his side jarred him from his momentarily reverie. "It seems that our resident Dark Lord has found his way out of his room."

Blinking in surprise, Haldir turned toward the voice, not at all shocked to find that it was Mithrandir standing next to him.

"Do you happen to know where he wandered off to?" Mithrandir continued.

Haldir nodded. "He's in my room. He's…" A pause. "…extremely hung-over."

"You don't say?" Mithrandir replied, an almost amused note in his tone.

Neither said anything for a moment. Haldir was painfully aware that Mithrandir could probably read all his thoughts as though he had spoken; Sauron, after all, had been able to before he had been 'tried.' In figuring that he'd become aware of his thoughts anyway, Haldir suddenly piped up. "I'm sorry, about last night I mean. I don't know what I was thinking."

"You probably weren't."

"No, I wasn't," Haldir concurred, holding the window frame to support himself as he leaned out of the window to feel the breeze. "I wasn't thinking at all. It was utterly irresponsible of me." He sighed. "I'm supposed to be watching him and keeping him from doing such things. Yet, what do I do? I _helped _him with it!"

Mithrandir made no comment or sign at Haldir's words, merely staring ahead at the ocean.

"I'm not much of a counselor to him," Haldir said thoughtfully as he leaned back against the wall. "I don't set a good example, even. I continually play into his plans and let him get his way. This last time I didn't even have any reservations about it! I'm probably making him worse, if anything."

At this, Mithrandir turned to him, shaking his head. "Not worse," he said slowly. "Different, but not worse."

"Different?" Haldir asked, brow quirked. "I daresay!"

"Haldir, you're being too hard on yourself in this," Mithrandir continued over Haldir's skeptical comment. "Did you not think that there was probably some inkling that, in choosing you, there would be some… incidents?"

When Haldir didn't reply, Mithrandir went on. "Do not think that the Valar didn't consider their choice carefully. They would have known all about you and your character before deciding on you. Therefore, they would realize that things like this would likely happen. And perhaps they wanted it to."

At this, Haldir let a small smile slip. "They wanted us to burn your house? Do they have a grudge against you or something that I haven't heard of?"

The look Mithrandir gave him then silenced him instantly. "I was not speaking of this exactly but the nature of the action in general. What I mean for you to think about is if it could be possible that they wanted somebody who would not treat him the way you are assuming they would."

"How else would they want me to act?" Haldir asked, leery.

"Like you are."

The thought turned around in Haldir's head momentarily, a frown pulling down his features as he considered it. "Why ever would they want that?"

"Because you tend to forget that you really have the upper hand and treat him as more of a friend than anything else."

Haldir choked. A… His thoughts could not grasp it. A … friend? Sauron? Did he really treat him like he would a friend? As he thought about it, Haldir realized that he hadn't really had that many friends and had even less after becoming a march warden. While he tried to deny what Mithrandir had said, Haldir really couldn't since he had no idea if he really was treating Sauron in such way.

Mithrandir sighed tiredly, obviously noting Haldir's expression. "It isn't anything that you should be disconcerted by. As I said, they no doubt figured that this would be the way you would act and thought that it would be the best way to handle the problem he posed. Since I have a feeling that such is the case, I'm going to let you leave with your skin." He gave a small, reassuring smile. "Now, what brought you out of your room? I'm guessing that the drink helped."

Haldir nodded, not truly comprehending what he was agreeing to as he was still in the process of returning to the present. "Do you have more?" he asked as he recalled his reason for venturing forth in the first place.

Walking away, Mithrandir responded with, "I'm assuming that it's for Sauron?"

"Yes," Haldir agreed with a nod.

"I suppose so. Go back and make sure that he isn't getting sick all over the bed or anything of the like. We just had them cleaned last week."

With a bob of his head, Haldir went back to the room, finding Sauron curled up in a ball with his arms wrapped around his head. Haldir almost pitied him for a moment, knowing the feeling that Sauron was no doubt experiencing at the moment all too well. He shut the door behind him softly.

"Mithrandir still has some. He'll be back in a minute."

Sauron raised a hand and waved the fingers slightly in acknowledgment.

This had just been done when there was a quiet knock on the door and Mithrandir came in with another glass. He simply handed it to Haldir and then exited the room, leaving Haldir to bring the brew to the pathetic, huddled mass on the bed.

Again, he was greeted with a blind hand that reached for the glass, waiting for the handle to be brought to it. Once Sauron felt the handle, he grasped it and sat up, eyes still clamped shut, and drank the contents without looking. Although he made a face at the foul taste, he didn't say anything, and drained all that had been brought to him.

The glass was returned to Haldir after a moment, and, once he had set it down, Haldir took a seat on a stool in the corner.

Haldir studied his hands while he waited for the medicine to work, noting the gray powder that still stained his fingers from the night before. Sighing, he rubbed at them for a few minutes, eager to remove the evidence from his person.

"Well, don't you look like a child who's done something naughty and is being punished," Sauron said, an amused lilt to his voice.

Haldir looked up and found that Sauron had sat up and was trying to get his hair from continually falling into his eyes. "I _have _done something naughty," Haldir pointed out. "And, while I haven't been punished, I probably should be."

Waving a hand, Sauron stood, stretched, and yawned. "Could have done worse things."

"Or I could have done nothing."

"That is true." He rubbed the bridge of his nose and then sighed. "I suppose I owe him something now," Sauron grumbled.

"Owe whom what?"

"Olorin."

At Haldir's blank expression, he quickly amended himself.

"Mithrandir."

"Oh…" Haldir mumbled, nodding.

"Yet, as foul as that would be, that headache was worse." He groaned. "That was horrid. Absolutely horrid. I couldn't open my eyes, which was unpleasant as my vision happens to be my favorite sense, if that was not apparent."

"How did you find my room then?" Haldir questioned, actually a bit curious.

"Ran my hand along the wall. I'm only two doors down; I didn't figure that we'd end up on opposite sides of the building. Oh, that was awful."

"You're the one who wanted to get utterly wasted!" Haldir pointed out.

"Well, now I have, so I don't plan on doing so again. I mean, it was fine last night, although I am a bit embarrassed now that I realize how I was acting. Still, it was okay." He nodded almost to agree with himself. "It was okay. But this morning, ah, that was a payment greater than what I had intended. Never will do that again. If I ever say I do, enforce that I don't."

"You know, it seems to me that any time I try to tell you _not _to do something, my opinion doesn't really matter. If you want to do it, you will."

"I don't think you have to worry about it; I doubt that a time would ever come when I'd be that desperate again, knowing the outcome. It's just a sort of heads up."

"Uh-huh."

"Well…" Sauron looked around the room, an expression on his face that hinted to him desiring to say something yet being unsure about whether the setting or time was appropriate. "Have you had breakfast, too? I'm actually a bit hungry, so I wouldn't mind finding something to eat."

"I haven't. I guess we can go look around for somebody to point us to the kitchen."

"Fair enough. Only, they would be pointing _you_, because I'm not asking."

Haldir rolled his eyes. "Still afraid of people, hm?"

"I am not _afraid_. We've gone over this before. Unless you've forgotten, which you might have. I wouldn't think it out of the realm of possibility, considering your limited mental capacity."

Haldir couldn't help but smile grimly to himself. Yes, indeed, Sauron was back to his usual self.

In the end, they found the kitchen themselves and luckily stumbled upon the remains of breakfast. There were some rolls left, and some fruit, along with a couple jars of jelly.

They ate standing up, talking a bit about gathering up their belongings from the inn and the return trip. "The captain had said that there would be another trip this afternoon later on, so I suppose we could make that one. We'll probably have to leave soon, though, so we'll have time to get our things."

Sauron took a bite out of an apple thoughtfully and then nodded. "Sounds fair enough."

Haldir could now see their path home clearly. Then he considered the reactions they would likely be met with. It would not be good.

Apparently Sauron noted that Haldir's thoughts were not pleasant. "Why are you screwing your face up like that?" he asked while tossing the apple core into a basket on the other side of the room. "It's not a particularly attractive expression," he added with a slight smile as he hopped up and sat on the counter.

Scratching his chin, Haldir set his dirty dishes by the others. "I'm wondering what it'll be like getting back. We'll probably get skinned."

Sauron gave a small laugh. For a moment, Haldir wondered on whether Sauron's laughter, the real sort and not simply the ridiculing one, would continue to be as frequent as it had been the night before. Haldir had figured that once the alcohol had worn off, so would Sauron's disposition towards laughing. But maybe such was not the case. The thought of no more of the degrading laughter was a bit nice. "I can see where you would get skinned, considering your family and all, but why would I be?"

With a wry smile, Haldir pointed out what he'd rather not. "Because I don't seem to recall women liking it when their men wander off without warning."

Sauron flinched a bit at this, groaning. "Lalaith…" he muttered, running a free hand down his face. "Wonderful."

"Yes. So, in fact, I believe that you are the one who will need to look out the most."

"And I need to break it off too… Wonderful," Sauron repeated after a mild shudder.

Haldir did not say it, but he was pleased to hear that Sauron meant to keep his side of the bargain in a timely manner.

"I have absolutely no idea what to do," Sauron said, a defeated note in his tone. "I suspect that, somehow, I must do this… gently," he said, as though the word was entirely foreign to his vocabulary, "…since we'll still be under the same roof, for a while at least, and I don't want any more confrontations than necessary. But I have no idea how to do that…"

"So there are gaps in your observations about courtship, eh?" Haldir asked, smirking.

Sauron glanced at him irritably. "For one, such things seem to be rather uncommon. Two, I believe that when it was done, it must have been done in private and not in a place where I could witness it!"

"I guess you'll just have to figure it out. I can't help you at all."

Another sigh. "Could we be allowed some… privacy?"

Although Haldir felt absolutely ill about it, he nodded. "If it would help…"

"I think it would." There was a long pause as Sauron seemed to consider how he would handle that evening. "I should get her something. Should I? To get off on the right foot. Or would that be rude… to try to make something of a substitute?" He stopped suddenly, an expression of bewilderment crossing his face. "Would you listen to me?"

"I am," Haldir said unnecessarily.

Sauron continued as though Haldir hadn't spoken. "A substitute? In place of _me_? I don't understand how she could possibly want this --" He gestured vaguely at himself in a disgusted manner. "-- anyway. But how have I gotten my mind to even start thinking this way? Eww…" He then proceeded in banging his head with his fists.

Haldir wiped the crumbs from the counter and glanced at Sauron. "Somehow, I doubt that doing that is going to help you," he pointed out.

With a sigh, Sauron seemed to agree because he dropped his hands. "This is horrible. There must have been something in that stuff Olorin mixed up. If I found out that there was, so help me…"

"Whatever do you think he put in your drink?" Haldir asked calmly, a bit amused at the display happening before him.

"Something that did weird things to my brain."

Haldir laughed. "It'd be hard to note a difference in anything dealing with that."

Sauron, obviously, glared.

They were unable to continue their conversation any longer at that moment due to the entrance of Mithrandir. "I thought that I might find you here," he said without any formal greeting. "I see that you've eaten."

While Haldir nodded, Sauron did absolutely nothing to acknowledge Mithrandir's presence. He had his attention placed on something outside.

"I suppose you will be leaving soon so that you can get back to Valmar."

"Yes. In fact, we were going to leave once we finished eating," Haldir agreed.

Mithrandir nodded. "There was no time to discuss these things earlier, so I'll ask them now before you go. How is your family?"

For a moment, Haldir didn't answer as he considered how to truthfully answer. At the moment, they were all fine, as far as he knew. "They are doing well, thank you."

"Frodo mentioned that he had visitors yesterday. I don't suppose I need to inquire as to who they were," Mithrandir said to Haldir, while looking at Sauron.

Haldir swallowed and then wetted his lips, knowing how obvious the whole plan must clearly be. "Yes. We stopped in and had… what was it?" He frowned as he tried to sift for the answer through the fog that still surrounded his mind.

"Tea," Sauron stated dully.

"Yes, that was it," Haldir said, a bit surprised that Sauron has supplied anything to the conversation.

With something that looked suspiciously like a smirk, Mithrandir folded his arms. "Well, I'm glad to see that it apparently turned out alright for everybody concerned." The words he left out were as clear as if he'd spoken them.

The silence that followed seemed dreadfully uncomfortable to Haldir, but he wasn't sure if it was so for the others. He cleared his throat. "I guess I'll go get my boots then and we can head out."

Sauron nodded, but didn't get off the counter. "I'll be here."

Frowning at how ominous that sounded, Haldir nonetheless ran back to his room and yanked his boots on. He didn't even push his leggings back down once he had them on, opting to make sure that Sauron didn't have the time to do anything unpleasant.

Once he got back to the kitchen, trying very hard to conceal his rapid breathing, Haldir quickly assessed the situation and found that nothing ill had happened. Relaxing just slightly, he made his way into the room. "Ready?"

Sauron looked up at him, his expression remarkably placid, nodding and getting off the counter. "Yes."

"Good." Haldir looked at Mithrandir and smiled meekly, bowing. "Thank you for your services," he mumbled.

Mithrandir smiled faintly. "Of course. Just, next time, please don't let the circumstances be quite this… strange."

With another wordless nod, Haldir moved back toward the door. "Coming?" he prodded, looking sidelong at Sauron.

"Yes I am. Just stop badgering me!" Sauron snapped. He then looked over at Mithrandir, and paused a moment, before inclining his head ever so slightly.

That apparently said more than Haldir could garner from it. Mithrandir did the same in turn, and then Sauron made his way from the kitchen. After walking a few feet past Haldir, he stopped and turned back. "Coming?" he mocked, raising a brow.

Without a response, Haldir said goodbye to Mithrandir once more, and then followed Sauron from the house into the bright morning.


	38. Feeeeeeelings

Yeaaa an update! Although it has been a month since my last update, I can tell you that the story will be done this summer as I only have two more chapters to write, so there shouldn't be too much more waiting. There is only one more real chapter and then I'm thinking I might do a sort of epilogue-ish thing after that. Maybe. We shall see. But that's it. It will be DONE.

So you knoooow... I have had many a difficulty with this chapter, because it deals with... stuff that's kinda close to serious. Haha heh... But, in all honesty, it was awkward for me to write. I can't exactly say why, cause then I'd be going into things that would kinda mess with the ending, but maybe I'll explain when it's all done. I hope it's not too awkward to read, though.

To all those who review, thank you very much! I truly appreciate it, even it's just a few words.

Napolde of the Council: Well, of COURSE they shouldn't have had all that booze! When have drunk people ever done anything good! Haha.

XNemesis: Oh... I bet you had a lot of catching up to do with your e-mail, hm? I hate that. Like now... and I still am checking every couple of days. Drunken fun... oh yes, well, pain is funny when it happens to other people. I'm glad you are amused, and I hope you got all those reviews done.

Black Thunder44: Yeees... fireworks. Note how I cleverly skipped the whole process of making it since I had no idea how and didn't feel like being classy and looking it up. Haha.

Arzosah: School... yes, it is a creativity zapper if there ever was one. My thing lately was travel... but I worked around it and was able to write a chapter anywho... although I had to write it and then type it up and all that crap which wasn't particularly cool. Heck yes, I daresay Sauron was a pyro. /laughs/ That whole flaming eye insignia thing and the living by a volcano... yeah. Haha.

Midnight Proc: Don't... do those moves. /shudder, laughs/ They... well, we know what those are. Drunks themselves should never be trusted. Haha... Stupid Sauron. Dunno where that came from, but it did. But yes, poor Lalaith... not cool to toy with emotions. Well... it is. But it's not nice, in any case. Time... could make me write better chapters. Yet, maybe not. Maybe it's because sometimes I'm cool enough to read over them when I'm not half asleep! As I've said before, I'm extremely proud of you for sticking with the story. It's... amazing, as you haven't even read the books and all. Go you. Many a bonus point. ...Yup.

Legolas's Girl 9: Yeaaa! I'm glad you like the story, and I hope you will like the last couple of chapters as well! Out of curiosity, how long did it take you to read through it all?

kingmaker: Wee, I did something cool with POVs! And I had to get Gandalf in there somehow. Drunk!Sauron... was something very odd to write, let me tell you. But that last chapter wasn't as bad as the end of the one before... that just started to creep me out as I went along. Huzzah for good writing... and just so you know, I love your reviews because you comment on the writing and not just the story. That... I quite like. Oooh ooh, but I used Olorin later! I was so proud of myself on that. I dunno why I didn't use it in the first instance... but obviously, at the time, I had some reason. Maybe. Hahaa... ugh. Anything dealing with Sauron and his 'relationship' also causes me to have slight squirming fits, so this chapter was rather awkward... although, once I go back and read it, that sort of thing usually makes me kinda laugh. And resolving things... that... also makes it awkward. Because there is clearly only one real way to resolve it (as I see it, at least), and that way somehow just doesn't seem quite right... but it's the only way. We'll see how it works out.

Snodgrass Winkle: Refreshing? Why thank you. That is a new compliment and quite a nice one at that. I can't picture Haldir drunk either. It just doesn't seem like a very elf-like thing. /blinks/ Yes, your comment about Sauron did sound really weird. /laughs/ Haha, but that's okay. Weird is applauded here.

Crystal113: Haha... yes they set it on fire. Sauron being nice is just whack and I think it does weird things to the synapses in my brain. They fire weird or something. Aaaah... Sauron. /tries to think of words to express thoughts but can't/ Yeaaah. He's just speecial. It's like a soap, isn't it? Haha... creepy. Oooh yes.. homework. It's a bugger. I'm now taking an online course and preparing for my english class next year... so sometimes it doesn't feel like I got out of school at all!

Spoofmaster: Greebo. Haha. How is that cat anywho? Drunken morons are... I dunno. Was gonna think of something clever but that's way beyond me. Revelations... are serious normally and therefore strange little buggers. Woe to them that have a nose, a real nose! Aha aha aha!

* * *

The return trip wasn't anything special. They went back to their room and picked up their things, which took all of three minutes since they hadn't even opened their packs since arriving and had already paid for their rooms the day before.

Once they had gotten their stuff, they made their way back to the docks and waited. Haldir asked a sailor who had just disembarked from his ship for any information concerning the one they needed to find, and was told that it should be arriving in an hour or so.

His estimate was right on, and an hour later the ship sailed into the harbor. Haldir was again left to take care of the arrangements and, since most of them had been figured out the day before, they were able to board without any problem.

Although Sauron hadn't been particularly inclined to talk the rest of the morning, he was absolutely silent on the ship. By now Haldir had expected such, so he went and found some of the sailors who were not busy at the moment to talk with.

Once back at Valinor, they retrieved their horses and rode on home. Haldir couldn't help but smile a bit at Sauron's change of attitude regarding the horse. It was obvious that he did not care for the animal, but he was not cursing at it or glowering at the back of its head for the whole ride.

It was once they had reached the streets of Valmar that Sauron finally began to talk. "I suppose it's close to dinner?" he asked, his voice distant.

Haldir glanced at him. "Yes. I wouldn't be surprised if they are finishing up about now."

A small frown. "I suppose, if they aren't done yet, I could wait and... take care of it afterwards."

"If that is the case, I could take everybody out then, if you like."

"I would appreciate that, yes..." replied Sauron thoughtfully.

The remainder of the walk to the house was silent. Shifting his pack and taking a deep breath, Haldir prepared for the onslaught that would no doubt coincide with their entrance.

He turned the knob and stepped inside, glancing around. There was nobody in the hall. Letting out the breath that he hadn't known he was holding, Haldir moved in a bit more to make room for Sauron.

"I suppose we should probably find where they are and let them know that we're back rather than waiting until they find us," Haldir reasoned sadly.

"That probably would be the better choice," Sauron agreed as he set his things by the stairs.

Haldir did the same and then they went to the family room, which was the usual gathering place for everybody following dinner.

The first to notice their arrival was Rumil. He had looked over to the doorway briefly before looking away, only to turn back to them. "Well, lookie who it is. I guess they did decide to come back."

At this, the other three people looked over, their reactions varying. Orophin seemed to be amused, as did Rumil, while Elhith shook his head in a reproachful manner. Lalaith, however, seemed to go through a range of emotions in a few seconds, from relief to anger to simple happiness.

It was with the last that she stood up and approached Sauron. She looked up at him for a moment before throwing her arms around him and standing on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek. Sauron looked altogether unprepared for this reception, but quickly fell into the charade and gave her a small lopsided smile. Haldir did everything he could to keep from feeling ill.

"Wherever did you go?" she asked Sauron, leaning back a bit to meet his eyes.

"We left a note on the counter," Sauron replied, seeming _almost _unnerved by Lalaith's rather confrontational gaze.

Her brows drew together and she turned to the others. "There was a note?" she asked.

Rumil and Orophin glanced at one another. "Well, perhaps there was, now that I think about it," Rumil said slowly, his most appeasing smile spreading across his face.

"You worm!" Lalaith cried, making a move toward Rumil before she was caught by Sauron. "I was so worried, and neither of you mentioned a note!" she continued, trying to unclamp Sauron's hands from around her waist.

For a moment, Haldir couldn't help by grin slightly. Perhaps Lalaith had been fortunate enough to be raised without her brothers around, but she had seemingly picked up the angry desire for vengeance that Haldir had regardless.

She didn't seem about to stop her unladylike tirade anytime soon. "Darling," Sauron cooed in that disgusting brain-washing voice of his, pulling Lalaith back, "we need to talk."

And that was all it took, to get her to stop struggling at least. "Yes, we do," she said, turning around in his arms to fix an angry glare on him. "You can't just go off without any sort of warning like that! Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

"I'm truly sorry that I distressed you in any way, Lalaith," he continued silkily after a moment of hesitation.

Haldir shivered. _Please, continue somewhere else. I can't stand much more of this..._

Apparently Sauron's further use of _that _voice soothed out what remained of Lalaith's anger. With a sigh, she nodded. "Alright."

I:I:I:I:I

Sauron was a bit impressed that Haldir was able to get his brothers and Elhith out of the room without any further questions. By the expressions, however, he doubted that they had even the faintest notion of what he needed to talk to Lalaith about.

Sighing tiredly, he rubbed the back of his head and sat on the sofa. He was a bit surprised to find that he automatically left his arm up along the back of the seat to allow Lalaith to cuddle against him. He grimaced to himself. The ruse had been going on _way _too long if he was changing his habits for it. Although, he noted as Lalaith leaned her head against his shoulder, he had kept up such acts for much longer spaces of time before.

Sauron stopped musing on the topic when Lalaith looked up at him. "You seem very thoughtful," she said, playing with his hair.

With a deep breath, he nodded, by now so used to ignoring her fingers in his hair that he hardly noticed.

"You aren't angry with me, are you?" she asked.

"Angry?" he repeated quizzically, unable to think of how she could have gotten to that conclusion.

She looked away for a moment. "Since you left. I wondered if I had done something to upset you. I'm sorry if I did."

"Oh no, I'm not angry with you," he assured her, although he wasn't quite sure why.

"Then why did you go? You have to remember, I never saw the note."

Sauron almost found himself smiling at the fiery note to her tone. She was still clearly upset with her siblings. "I needed to think," he answered. Seemed like a good enough reply in any case; he _had _spent the majority of the last day or two considering a wide variety of subjects.

"About what?"

"Many things."

Lalaith smiled slightly. "That was rather vague, Iaewur."

"One mustn't give away all of their thoughts," he answered, smiling in turn.

"Seriously though," Lalaith prodded. "You said we needed to talk. If I didn't keep asking you questions, you'd be silent. What's on your mind?"

At that, Sauron's smile lost a bit of its practiced structure and became just slightly more authentic. How to possibly answer _that _question?

Rather than replying, he reached into a pocket and pulled out a small wad of cloth, setting it on his knee and opening it. Lalaith looked at him suspiciously and then back at the bundle.

In the end, Sauron had decided on something of a compromise concerning a gift. During the return trip on the boat, he had gotten quite a bit of nervous built up, although he had told Haldir that it was simply creative energy. The outcome had been that he'd found a shell on the ship and borrowed a needle used to repair the sails from a sailor. That had allowed him to concentrate on carving out an intricate design from the shell rather than the fact that he was surrounded by water. He loathed boats.

It had become the plan to give the resulting charm of sorts to Lalaith. Now seemed as good a time as he'd be likely to get.

When Sauron pulled the shell out of the cloth, he tried very hard not to feel a bit proud at the astounded gasp Lalaith gave. After all, it was truly nothing, and it wasn't as though her opinion really mattered anyway.

"Oh..." was the only thing she said as he pressed it into her hand. "Where'd you get this?"

"I made it."

Another gasp. "You _made _this?" she breathed.

"Yes," Sauron said with a nod, still trying to push back his pleasure that she was clearly impressed. _My, you're just ready to accept any compliment now, aren't you_? he thought dryly.

"You made it for me?"

He nodded.

"Why? I hardly seem like one to warrant such a gift."

He was quiet now, thinking. "It's as an apology," he said finally.

It was amazing how quickly her expression fell. "An apology? For what?"

So, this was it. He had never really gotten a good plan as to what he was going to do. It really wasn't anything he had wanted to figure out, although he had told himself that he really ought to. It just made his mind ache anytime the thought would hit him that _he _was in a relationship, false or not.

This was an ending to one of Sauron's plans that was totally unlike any other. Usually, anything he did was _supposed _to end with varying degrees of destruction and ruin. For once, he was having to keep it as peaceful as he could. That made him moderately uncomfortable.

"I'm a horrible person," he said at length. It was true enough.

"What a thing to say about yourself! Why would you think that?" she tried to say lightly, but Sauron could hear the unease in her voice.

"I've been very unfair to you these last few months." He paused as he tried to think of a good way to continue, brushing Lalaith's hair back over her shoulder before standing up so that he could have a bit of distance.

This apparently did nothing but intensify Lalaith's worry. She was instantly standing in front of him, preventing him from pacing as he had desired. "Iaewur, what is it? Please just tell me; I can't stand you tip-toeing around the subject."

"I can't be with you like this anymore," Sauron blurted out, his usual eloquence failing him in the face of this naive little elf.

She simply stared at him, he eyes wide and uncomprehending. "What do you mean?" she whispered.

"There can't be anything between us, romantically at least. No more lies."

"Lies?" she echoed.

"I've been leading you on." He fidgeted with his belt, then figured that he should make up some sort of explanation. "For a while, I thought that perhaps there could have been something --" He felt ill saying that. "-- but it hasn't worked out that way. I don't want you to continue thinking there could be something when there never will."

By now, Sauron had expected something, but her expression was still incredibly blank.

"So, all this time, even with everything...?"

"Nothing."

"And how long has it been an act?" she demanded, anger seeping into her voice.

Sauron didn't think of a reply quick enough, which he later realized made it seem as though it _all _had. While that was the truth, he hadn't planned on telling her so.

In the end, he didn't get the chance to make any sort of response. A small hand flew out and struck him hard across the face, surprising him on a variety of levels. Sure, Uinen might have done so, but even he knew what he had done to provoke it the instant it happened and admitted that he rather deserved it. And, coming from somebody who was of his order, he was at least about to deal with it.

But Lalaith, sweet, innocent Lalaith, was something altogether unforeseen. Had this lowly elf-maid dared to strike _him_? This was insufferable.

Sauron's anger flared up dangerously as he turned to glower at the little tart, only to have his fury instantly extinguished by the sight of the tears streaming down her face, which was displaying a completely wretched expression.

Rather disturbed at how easily his rage seemed to dissipate on recent occasions, Sauron said nothing as Lalaith lifted her skirts and ran from the room, one broken sob escaping her lips before she passed the door.

Sauron collapsed ungracefully back onto the couch, sighing heavily. That had gone... rather badly. Gingerly, he raised a hand and touched his cheek, which was burning and stinging in turns. Once he took his hand away, he was once again shocked when he found his fingers stained by blood.

He stood up again while trying to contain his shiver - he _hated_ the sight of his own blood - and went to go to the kitchen, where he figured he could find something to stop the bleeding.

As Sauron made his way there, he tried desperately to be irate that not only had she slapped him, but had done so violently enough to draw blood. For all his efforts, however, Sauron could not stir any sort of vengeful feelings. He simply felt exhausted and, for once, almost every millennia of his age.

When he got to the kitchen, he found Haldir sitting at the table. Groaning, Sauron tried to avert his face from the irritating elf. "I'm really in no mood to talk to you," he tried to snap as he pulled a rag used for the dishes out of a drawer and got some water on it.

"How is she?" Haldir asked, completely ignoring Sauron's comment.

"Well," Sauron began, turning to look at Haldir, "what would you suppose this to indicate?" he finished, gesturing to his face.

Haldir cringed a bit, then sighed. "I suppose I should go talk to her." He glanced at Sauron again and shook his head. "I'm sorry about that. You don't think it will need stitching, do you?"

Sauron actually laughed, but it was humorless. "Just what I need. Another noble scar!" He shook his head as he pressed the towel to his cheek. "No, it's not bleeding very much. It should be fine."

"If you say so," Haldir said slowly as he made his way toward the door.

He had thought Haldir was gone, but then heard him whisper his name. "What?" Sauron asked, towel still clamped to his face.

"I just wanted to say thank you. For sticking by your end and going through all that," Haldir finished by waving a hand in such a way as to indicate that he meant Sauron's cheek.

Sauron didn't respond instantly, once again having a painful realization as he saw that he had, for once, kept his word. "Well," he said dully, "don't mention it. Seriously - nobody needs to know."

Haldir gave a half smile as he left. "If that's what you want."

Still holding the towel against his cheek, Sauron pulled out a chair from the table and sat down. For a moment, he wondered how everything would play out, but then pushed the thought away. It couldn't get much worse than it already was.

I:I:I:I:I

Haldir stood outside Lalaith's door for a moment, his frown deepening at the sound of her sobs. This was what he had always feared would happen and had tried to avoid. Lalaith, however, had seemed to always feel things deeply, and this was clearly no exception. Even though it had only been a couple months, she had obviously let her feelings fly away with her. With a touch of anger, Haldir noted that Sauron had gone through great pains in his attempts to be charming and lure in Lalaith's affections.

It was over though. Done. Yet... this was the result.

He sighed and knocked on the door, only to be told to go away. "Please Lalaith, let me in."

This time he got no response, so he dared to open the door. Cautiously, he poked his head into the room.

Lalaith was laying curled up on her bed, her small shoulders shaking. Haldir scratched his neck, undecided as to what he should do. On one hand, he wanted nothing more than to quietly exit and shut the door behind him. He had little experience in comforting people, especially females. Still, at the same time, he was reminded of his protectiveness and desire to keep his baby sister safe and happy.

The latter feelings won. Haldir took a few tentative steps into the room, feeling incredibly awkward. It was with a great deal of discomfort that he sat at the edge of the bed.

Lalaith still hadn't turned around or done anything to acknowledge that he was even there.

Haltingly, Haldir reached out and gently rubbed Lalaith's back, causing even stronger sobs. He instantly considered drawing back his hand, but remembered some far gone day when he had been very young and his mother had done the same things with a similar result. He also remembered feeling much better after having bawled his eyes out.

So Haldir sat there and rubbed her back, hoping that neither of his brothers would walk in and see him. He was positive that he'd never hear the end of it.

Finally, Lalaith seemed to calm down somewhat. She sat up and wiped her eyes, which were now puffy and blood-shot, and brushed her mussed hair back from her face. Without looking at him, she leaned against him, giving a shaky sigh. "You were right," she whispered.

"Pardon?" Haldir asked gently.

"You tried to warn me about... about..." A few more tears escaped her eyes and soaked into Haldir's sleeve. "...him..."

Haldir hugged her shoulder. "Sometimes we have to learn things ourselves, I suppose," he tried.

"You're being very forgiving," Lalaith said with something that almost could have passed as a laugh. "Had it been Rumil or Orophin in my position, you simply would have told them that they were stupid."

"Well," Haldir said with a smile. "It wouldn't require them to do anything to earn that title from me."

Lalaith smiled a bit and sat up again. "I just thought... he always treated me so gently. That it was all nothing... it's hard to believe, you know..."

While what she said was quite different from what Haldir would think, he supposed he could figure out why Lalaith might have thought such things. If he tried really hard.

"I guess that's it then." Thoughtfully, she ran her fingers through her hair. "I have no idea how I'll be able to live here with him around anymore. Probably have to put up as good an act as he did."

Haldir didn't like the bitterness in her voice. "He's had a lot of practice at that sort of thing..." he muttered to himself.

Unfortunately, Lalaith heard. She instantly jumped to her feet. "He's done this to others? Was that what you meant when you had talked about me not knowing him like you did?"

"No, no!" Haldir exclaimed, almost laughing. "No, I do believe this has been his first and last relationship."

Lalaith sat down again, pondering Haldir's statement. "His last as well? Why would you say that?"

"Because I _am _more aware of his character than you. The only person he's capable of really loving is himself, I believe."

"How does all this go together, Haldir? What you apparently know of Iaewur is very different than what I know about him." She paused, thinking. "Who is he?"

"Not 'Iaewur,' although I do believe that name fits extraordinarily well."

Lalaith gave him one of her classic looks of exasperation. It seemed to be an expression required by sisters to have for use against brothers. However, Haldir was aware that he couldn't let the truth come out. That would not be acceptable at all. It would only make Lalaith feel worse to learn that she had unknowingly become attached to Sauron...

...Unless that very thing could be the cure. If she continued to think that she had lost something of worth, she'd mourn. But if she knew that it was really for the best, considering the circumstances, perhaps she'd be able to use her predictable anger to instantly heal whatever wounds she had and move on sooner. Perhaps that was actually the way to go...

Lalaith once again pried. "Who is he then, Haldir? You obviously know."

Haldir took a breath. How to say this? "Lalaith, I'm telling you something that you won't like," he warned, assuming what he hoped to be a serious expression.

"I've gathered that from the fact that he had not been able to use his true identity. There must be some reason that isn't terribly pleasant."

"Oh no, this far outstrips unpleasant, Lalaith. He's..." here Haldir paused, trying to think of how to introduce this. "He's been out greatest enemy, since we've been alive at least." Wow, that was weird to say.

She blinked at him. "Malencal? I thought that spat was cleaned up years ago..."

"Not him! I mean, like... everybody's enemy."

For a long moment, she was absolutely silent. "Haldir, that isn't even remotely funny. That's no way to try to belittle this and make it comical."

"I'm not trying to make it funny as I don't think any of it is."

"I don't care what he tricked you into believing, but he is _not_-"

"Sauron? Yes, he is."

"You don't have any proof of that!" she gasped, a rather wild light coming to her eyes.

"Not any to show you, at least," Haldir replied thoughtfully. "Although, there is his missing finger..."

"Which he said he lost in battle!"

Haldir raised an eyebrow at her. "...Your point?"

Once again, Lalaith sat on the bed. "He can't be..." she whispered, even as all the color drained from her face.

"I'm not supposed to tell you," he explained, "so that's why I didn't say anything before. I had never thought it would go on this long or assumed that your feelings would get as strong as they apparently did, or else I would have... given in sooner."

"Given in?" she asked.

"I made the mistake of letting him know your feelings. At that time, he said that, if I did not take him to Eressea to see Frodo Baggins, he would do everything he could to gain your affections, since he knew that would... irritate me quite a bit, to put it lightly. I finally gave in and took him there, so, subsequently, he held up his part and has... broken it off."

There was a long, terribly uncomfortable silence, which suddenly came to a violent end. "And why are you telling me this now?" she cried, clasping her hands against her head. "Are you trying to humiliate me? I'd rather you just call me stupid!"

Haldir sat on his knees before her and took her hands. "I don't want you lamenting. I don't want you to think you've lost something."

She looked up at him, her eyes once again wet with tears. "And... we've all thought that you two were friends, all this time. You act like you are, you know." Now her voice had an almost reproachful hint to it as she attempted to cover her feelings and divert the attention away from herself.

It worked, and Haldir found himself remembering what Mithrandir had said to him that morning. So, it looked that way to others as well? How... awkward. "You've just been lucky enough to miss the times when we just about murder each other."

"Still, I've seen you at Rumil and Orophin's throats more times than I can count, but you still have a sort of friendship with them, twisted though it may be. So..." she trailed off, leaving the question hanging in the air.

"Lalaith, do you seriously believe that _he _would be capable of keeping a friendship?" Haldir said at length with a bit of discomfort. "I believe the concept to be completely foreign to him."

"He can play the part when it suits him though."

"Yes, he's very good at acting, but that's all it ever is -- a facade. All smoke and mirrors; you can't take any of it as real. I wouldn't be surprised if I haven't heard a completely honest word out of him all this time."

She frowned. "Yet... you two banter back and forth, and you can't tell me that there aren't some friendly tendencies to that."

"No, I don't suppose I can," Haldir admitted. "He can annoy me to no end, and yet recently I've found myself forgetting who he is. Over time, he's been less Sauron and more Iaewur, if you understand me."

"Frankly, I don't," she said honestly. "But I've had so much turned upside down today that I'd be surprised if I understood anything. I suppose you'll give me the whole story some day?"

"Perhaps. I've already just broken a great amount of rules... so... we'll see."

She looked ahead and then gave a small nod. "Can I be alone for a while, please?"

With a sigh, Haldir nodded. "Sure." He then gave her hand one more squeeze and left.

I:I:I:I:I

Sauron had sat at the table for a while, thinking over a variety of things until he had gotten thoroughly aggravated with the warring factions of his mind. At that time, he had decided that he would just shut them up by sleeping. That had worked pretty well the last time.

By then, Sauron's cheek had stopped bleeding, so he had gotten rid of the towel and made his way to his room.

On the way, he could not help but catch snatches of the conversation going on between Haldir and Lalaith. Remarkably, Sauron had felt mildly discomforted by Lalaith's reaction. Betrayal wasn't something new to him; he had done it dozens of times. This, however, was a bit different in that he had known his victim on a much more personal -- _too _personal -- level than any others. He was used to the vain kings and proud nobility, who were just so annoying that it had been all he could do not to wring their wretched lives from their bodies prematurely to even his plans. Lalaith was an anybody, and that made it seem different.

He wondered if his prolonged exposure to decent examples had anything to do with the fact that he wasn't completely happy with the success of his plans.

Sauron's attention was instantly brought back to the conversation when he realized that he's just heard his name, his _real _name, as far as he was concerned. It had been so long since he'd used his Valarin name that he couldn't quite remember it anymore.

Haldir had apparently just given up the ghost and told Lalaith his true identity.

Impressed with himself for not groaning, Sauron leaned up against the wall and continued to listen. He wasn't one to let others speak about him when he wasn't assumed to be around if he could help it.

As he listened, Sauron found his face pulling into a violent scowl, and he really didn't have the faintest idea why. Haldir wasn't saying anything that was untrue, and yet Sauron found himself disturbingly upset by things he usually would have either been indifferent to or proud of.

It didn't take long until he had decided that he'd heard quite enough. Pushing away from the wall, he quietly made his way to his room and shut the door.

Sauron paced the small area angrily for a moment, but found it to be very inadequate. The room was simply not big enough for his long strides. After glancing around his room, his eyes fell to his wardrobe, which was still open from his quick packing job the day before. In his haste, he had apparently done a rather poor job of keeping his things straight. It just about made him twitch.

So, figuring that perhaps it'd allow him to release some of his stress, Sauron went about cleaning up. He could hardly believe that he'd been in enough of a rush that he had left his possessions in that condition.

The first thing he picked up was a cloak, which suddenly gave him a variety of ideas. He did need to get out, it seemed, since the room was too small to sufficiently storm around in. And Haldir apparently was occupied, so why not go for a bit? Not like he'd be missed!

Swinging the cloak over his shoulders, Sauron yanked the door to his room open and hurried down the hall and stairs, making sure that he didn't meet anybody on his way to the front of the house. After a quick glance down the halls to either side, he opened the door and walked into the night.

It was rather invigorating, to be out when he knew he wasn't supposed to be. There really was something about breaking the rules that was terribly pleasant. Sauron found he had missed it during that long stint of relatively good behavior.

Still, something in the pit of his stomach flopped at what he was doing. The Valar would no doubt hear of his little walk, somehow or other, and there would no doubt be consequences. By now, Sauron was pretty sick of consequences.

He pulled the cloak a bit more around him, irritated that he was glad he had brought it. All these things, these physical comforts that were starting to become necessities for him, like the cloak he now wore to keep off the evening mist, or that useless meal called lunch, or even being able to brush his hair out in the morning (although he would never _ever _admit to that one), bothered him greatly. He was getting much too comfortable in this secular state.

Everything was just slipping. Everything. He'd apparently lost his ability to be completely angered by the populous of the world and instead found himself just not caring about any of them.

Still, he thought to himself with a wry smile, _I haven't lost my ability to brood_.

, he thought to himself with a wry smile, . 

By this time, Sauron had reached the small grassy area behind the building. It was completely devoid of people, which suited him just fine. Quiet was a much easier companion to thought than masses of people.

There were a couple benches scattered about the small spot, most under large trees, and it was under one of these that Sauron took a seat.

Leaning to the side a bit allowed him to rest against a tree. He was tired. The only effect that managed to have was to make him more frustrated than he already was. What made it even worse was that he rather wished he had crawled into bed instead of traipsing off in the damp night.

"So, this is what you're risking repercussions for?" a voice asked him from behind.

Sauron turned around to glare at Haldir for a moment before returning to his former position without any response.

Of course, the elf didn't seem able to take a hint. Instead of leaving, as Sauron thought he should, he came over and perched in the limbs of the tree. It seemed fitting, Sauron decided, that Haldir, who was about as annoying as a little bird, should be found in a tree. Just not this tree, as it was much too close. He should go to a tree on the other side of the city.

He didn't. "Whatever drove you out here at this time? Especially without me? Aren't you going through separation anxiety?" he asked with a smile.

Sauron did not smile. He did not do anything, in fact.

That might have been a mistake, however, as it made it clear to Haldir that something was amiss. _Amiss_? Sauron thought, confused with himself. _Whatever could be _amiss? _Nothing is any different than it's been for the last couple of ages, really_...

"What's the matter with you?" Haldir asked, the smile quickly turning into a frown.

"You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you," Sauron spat. "After all, all I ever say are lies."

There was a long silence, in which Sauron was almost sure that he could hear the gears in Haldir's mind turning. As he hoped that perhaps this would bring the conversation to a close, Sauron shut his eyes.

"You heard me talking to Lalaith?" Haldir questioned quietly.

"Yes."

Another pause. "And... that made you upset?"

"I'm not upset!" Sauron snapped, opening his eyes and realizing a bit too late that such a tone would make it seem like he _was _upset. "Haldir, just go away."

Naturally, he found himself being ignored. "I'm sure you've heard quite a share of scathing insults in your day. What I said was hardly insulting when _you've _even said such things about yourself."

"It's different coming from somebody else."

"And since when have my opinions counted for anything?"

"I don't know!" Sauron replied without any intention of saying _that_. He'd had many possible answers, and somehow the one he hadn't want to say, the one closest to the truth, was the one that came out.

Haldir was continuing to look at him curiously from up in the tree. While Sauron was well aware of this, he was very careful to keep his eyes fixed on a point across the common. "Did I..." Haldir paused, as though unsure about his next words. "...hurt your feelings?"

At first, Sauron didn't know if he wanted to laugh or glare at this. Ultimately, he did neither, as he suddenly found that he couldn't very well deny it, though he wished he could and knew he _should_. What a thing it was, Sauron considered, that somehow he had seemed to once again be endowed with a full spectrum of _emotions_. They had apparently worked their way through thousands of years of repression and reasserted themselves once more.

That was rather unfortunate.

For whatever reason, Haldir looked uncomfortable himself now. "Well, you obviously didn't listen to the whole conversation," he said as he hopped off the limb, "as I reputed some of the things I said."

"Such as...?" Sauron asked, raising a brow.

Haldir shrugged and moved off towards the house. "I guess you'd just have had to keep listening. Now you'll never know."

"Well, maybe I didn't care anyway."

"If you had listened, you might not be so worked up now."

"Are you telling me that I should eavesdrop?" he asked dryly. "Because that's sort of what I'm getting out of what you're saying."

Haldir paused and slowly turned around. "Good point... I don't want you to eavesdrop. What I'm getting is, after I said all those things that you took the time to listen to, all of which, I may point out, _are _more true than not, I have figured out today that I don't really think of you as Sauron anymore. You're simply the abrasive Iaewur."

With that said, he again started on his way back to the house. "Oh, and you better come back soon, or else I'm sure you'll face some sort of trouble for it."

Sauron betrayed just a whisper of a smile. "Soon."

"You better, or, as I say, you'll likely regret it."

At first, Sauron wasn't exactly sure if he was pleased with Haldir's explanation. After all, it was saying that he had lost much of his formal mannerisms.

But... perhaps he hadn't lost the mannerisms so much as his ways of dealing with them. Haldir had said he was still abrasive, at least.

He shrugged. Whatever was, was. There was no use, really, trying to regain what he had been before when he was completely pinned down with limitations that he had to acknowledge were impossible to overcome.

So, it would just have to do. He was pretty good with the name change thing, after all.

* * *

Emotional Sauron, how very very... weird. Haaa... well, I'm going to start working on the next chapter now cause that seems like a good idear. 


	39. That Warm, Soft, Fuzzy Feeling

Well, my readers, we've come to it at last: the end of the story. The plotted story, anywho. There will be the epilogue, just for the sake of some finality, but this is where it all really ends. I'll save all the sap for the epilogue. Hehe… But yees. Aren't you impressed with, considering my recent productivity, how quickly I got this chapter done, even if it is short? You can all thank flying stand-by for that! Yeaaaa for 7 hour waits in the airport. Aaaah, good stuff.

Lady Golodwen: That was quite the review, you know. As much as I would like to reply to all of it, I can't. You understand though, right? Hehe. Wooorm… "insolent WORM!" Ha. I think it'd be cool to manipulate people, period. Hm. Odd things do look nicer… it's the symmetry. And tiredly apparently is a word for spellcheck didn't flip. Ha… Sauron. That's sums it up. /sways a bit, smirking/ I had wondered if the bleeding thing was a bit much. Obviously decided I didn't care. Ooh yea! Clever things. I guess those are just luck. Hehe. And of course the writing has improved. I've had the grammatical nazi after me, haven't I? I mean that fondly. Yeaa Erik! That was the point, yes. Stupid emotions. That all sounded very random.

Legolas's Girl 9: Ooo… nice. Didn't your butt get sore, or did the breaks help? Pitstops. Haha.

Napolde of the Council: Crazy people are the best… but he might be an exception. I believe Lalaith will be able to recover cause she's just that sort of girl. Mhm. Haha… it'd be nice if he did get a 'noble' scare from that.

kingmaker: Romantic gestures from Sauron, frightening? You don't say! Just think about writing it. Haha. /bows/ Thank you very much for the many compliments. I'd drag this story out simply for your reviews. It's veray nice to know that I pulled the chapter off, as it was very odd to write.

XNemesis: It is hard to get use the words 'emotions' and 'Sauron' in the same thought, isn't it? Oh, Morgoth would probably do one of those nice gawk things before throwing a complete conniption, I'm sure.

Crystal113: Brothers… oh yes. So helpful sometimes. I wonder how much more awkward that whole living arrangement could get, haha. I'm not sure about the cut; the shell could be as good an explanation as anything. Haaa… yes, the Valar no happy. I'm glad you enjoyed the chappie!

Avaril: Lately, I've been noticing a knack for combining rather conflicting and odd characteristics together… like drawing pictures that are disturbing and cute at the same time. That's talent. Hahaha… hum. Yes, this is the last real chapter, but there will be the epilogue! I hope you enjoy the story just as much when you re-read it.

Spoofy: Grebo. Still a weird name. Under the porch? I bet there are slugs there. There were slugs under all the porches in Seattle. I could tell you lots of random weird stories about that. You did wear the nose shirt? Nice! Hahaha… well, didn't the description you wrote about it on the site say that it was "sure to start many conversations"? Hahaha… awesome.

Ace of Black Hearts: I'm very pleased to hear that you like it so much! Thankfully, I was able to get this chapter written a bit quicker.

* * *

Haldir woke up in the morning and, for the first time that he could recall, actually remembered everything that had happened the previous day without having to wait for his wakefulness to burn off the fog of sleep. Every detail of the events were clear in his mind, too clear, in fact, as the errors he had made were shown to him in sharp realization. It was nothing like his usual wading into thought; it was downright jumping in, head first.

He did what seemed a fitting response to this: he groaned.

After some consideration, he figured that it would probably be better to let Lalaith alone now that he had done his part. To be honest, he'd done much more than he should have, but it seemed to Haldir that it was hard to judge when a good time to stop was during the moment. Second guessing actions usually came long after they had been carried out, and it was obviously too late to change things then.

"I have a remarkable talent for opening my mouth," he remarked sadly to his reflection as he pushed back his bangs, which were by now getting rather long.

At that moment, there was knock on his door. "Are you awake yet?" an annoyed sounding Sauron asked from the other side.

"Yes," Haldir replied indignantly. "I'm even dressed, too. Isn't that impressive?"

"You can dress yourself? Utterly remarkable," Sauron drawled, none of the sarcasm in his voice dulled through the door. "Are you coming?"

Haldir's hand was in fact on the doorknob, but he now removed it. "Maybe."

There was a pause. "Haldir, hurry up. You have guests."

"Guests?" he asked, opening the door and looking at Sauron in surprise.

Sauron nodded, and now that Haldir could see him, it seemed that Sauron was rather distracted. "They are waiting at the door."

Furrowing his brow, Haldir slowly followed Sauron down the hall. "Who are they?"

Although he threw Haldir a sidelong glance, Sauron didn't reply.

"Sauron!" Haldir hissed quietly. "_Who are they_?"

"Those elves. The ones who… accompanied us when we first arrived here."

Somehow, this wasn't a convincing answer, although it might have been true. "And?"

"And what?" Sauron asked in a clipped tone.

"That isn't all."

Another sidelong glance.

"Who's there? Why are you acting so solemn?" Haldir questioned, growing both a bit upset and unnerved.

"Eonwe."

Haldir stopped for a moment, shocked. "Why is he here?"

"I don't know," Sauron replied, sighing. "I don't have any idea. Initially, I had figured it was something I had done, like going out last night, but they asked for you." He stopped thoughtfully, fingers tapping the banister next to him. "I… do not think they are here for a chat."

Haldir bit his lip and nodded. "Alright."

He tugged out what wrinkles he could from his tunic and ran his fingers through his hair to make sure it was behaving. Then he descended the stairs with all the poise and dignity he could muster.

They were, as Sauron had said, waiting right inside the door for him. Haldir instantly saw Terendul and Vanimo and deduced the third to be Eonwe.

Even if he hadn't known the other two, Haldir was certain that he would have been able to point out Eonwe. He was a great deal taller than the others, which Haldir was quickly beginning to think was a normal attribute of maia. More importantly, he had that uncanny light to his eyes.

It seemed that at that moment the uncanny light of his eyes fell on Haldir. "Haldir of Lothlorien, I presume?" he asked smoothly.

Swallowing, Haldir nodded. "Yes."

"You are to come with me to the Mahanaxar."

For a moment, Haldir was rather speechless.

"Are you _positive _you have the correct individual there, Eonwe?" Sauron interjected casually, adopting his condescending tone again, which, Haldir just then realized, had been rather absent lately, or at least not as strong.

"Interestingly enough, I am," Eonwe replied. "'Haldir' and 'Sauron' seem to be two names that are rather different, and one would therefore assume that there could be no confusion between the two."

"I can't help but be curious as to why he would need to go before the Valar."

"That is none of your concern," Eonwe answered, smiling. He then turned his attention back to Haldir. "If you would follow me…?"

Haldir nodded and made his way to the door. Instantly, he found himself flanked on either side by Terendul and Vanimo.

Eonwe did not wait a moment longer and strode outside, leaving Haldir with no choice but to instantly go along.

The pace was a bit quicker than Haldir was entirely comfortable with, but, considering that Eonwe was the one leading, there wasn't much that could be done about it. While he briefly considered asking if they could slow down, he had a feeling that it would sound childish, something he wanted to prevent if possible. He merely had to hurry along the best he could.

After a couple minutes, Haldir's mind was able to truly catch up with all that was going on. "Why _do _I have to come?" he asked, half to himself.

"The Valar need to discuss something with you," Eonwe replied. "You apparently did something you weren't really supposed to do."

Haldir pondered that for a second, coming to what he knew the answer must be instantly. He ran a hand down his face.

Eonwe noticed. "You know exactly what I'm referring to, don't you?

"Yes," Haldir mumbled, feeling the blood leave his face.

"That is good for you. It is always better if you can show them that you know what you did, because then there is a chance that you might have a legitimate excuse," Eonwe said as they turned onto another street.

"Always…" Haldir said absently.

There was no discussion during the remainder of the walk, which Haldir found more preferable as he realized that he was going to be before the Valar. It hit him all at once, the knowledge that the figures of Arda's history would be present on account of him. He shivered.

After a handful of minutes, spent trying to quell his suddenly rocky stomach, Haldir suddenly found himself in front of a rather intimidating pair of gates. He wasn't entirely sure how they had gotten there, but figured that such could be expected when one spaced out for as long as he had.

Eonwe motioned for him to stop as he opened the gates and disappeared within, leaving Haldir to pace nervously under Terendul and Vanimo's supervision.

"Why did I tell Lalaith? Why did I tell Lalaith?" he asked himself repeatedly. It had seemed like a decent idea at the time.

Somebody cleared their throat, and Haldir turned to find Eonwe waiting for him. "They're ready for you."

While Haldir only paused for a moment, it seemed like it must have been much longer before he found his feet and walked up the path to the Mahanaxar.

There were a number of things that could have explained the uncomfortable pressure that Haldir felt settle around his heart when he passed the gates. The most probably answer, he knew, was that he was in the presence of Valar, all of whom had their attention focused on him.

Once he looked around, Haldir felt slightly better, although he still felt overwhelmed. Many of the seats were empty, so that he found only Namo, Nienna, Vaire, and two others present. Haldir came to the conclusion that the others were Aule and Yavanna. It was very uncomfortable to be there, but at least it wasn't all of them.

Haldir vaguely saw Eonwe bow and exit the floor to stand behind one of the empty chairs before Haldir was addressed.

"Haldir," Namo said in his grave voice, looking at Haldir with an expression that clearly spoke of slight exasperation. "Do you know why you have been summoned here?"

He paused for a moment, and finally nodded. "Yes."

"To make sure that we're on the same page, what did you do?"

"I revealed Sauron's identity to my sister."

There was a beat of silence before Namo continued. "Do you want to explain why you felt that doing so was necessary?"

Against all hopes, Haldir felt himself flush. "My…" His throat was suddenly dry. "My sister had been in a relationship with him."

"Sauron!" Eonwe exclaimed, before hastily shutting his mouth and trying to look as though he hadn't spoken.

Haldir glanced at Namo and, after a nod from him, continued. "When Sauron found out that Frodo was in Eressea, he wanted to… visit him. I did not think that it would be a very good idea to allow this, and therefore denied him." He stopped for a moment before plunging into the rather awkward part of the tale. "My sister, unaware of his true identity, began to take a liking to him. I made the mistake of alerting Sauron to her feelings. He went about doing whatever he could to assure her affections, and told me that he would continue to do so until I took him to see Frodo."

"So that was why you took him to Eressea," Namo said, nodding slowly. "Olorin told us that you had been out there."

Again, the blood that had flooded his face and had not really retreated came forward again as Haldir wondered at just how much Mithrandir had said. "Yes, we saw him as well before we returned home yesterday. When we got back, Sauron did as he had promised and ended the relationship. My sister was… devastated." He stopped, swallowed, and then continued. "She hadn't been in a relationship like that before, so it was rather painful for her. I thought that perhaps by telling her just who she had been involved with, and so showing her that she wasn't missing anything, might help the wounds heal quicker."

Nienna snorted, or did something that sounded suspiciously like one before covering her mouth and coughing. The rest were silent, looking back and forth at each other. Finally, Namo looked back at him, his expression rather gloomy. "You never thought to come to us when he began to make that threat?"

"I did… but… I was too embarrassed," Haldir admitted weakly.

"So, you decided to compromise your safety by telling your sister something that you were directly told not to reveal simply because you were embarrassed?"

Haldir opened his mouth to respond, to try to make it sound a little less horrible, but found that he could not. "Yes," he replied in a defeated tone.

"You realize that, if his identity were to get out, there would be no hope that Sauron could ever be brought back into an impartial society. He would be, while deserving it, labeled, as I'm sure you are aware, and whether he harbored any malicious intentions or not, he wouldn't be accepted. All the time since you both were released from Mandos would be for naught."

Haldir was silent. What could he say? Namo was right. Now all he could do was wait for what he was sure was an imminent punishment.

Right at that moment, however, there was a disturbance beyond the gates. First Haldir could hear Terendul and Vanimo shouting angrily, then the dull metal clank of the gates being thrown open.

And the next thing Haldir knew, Sauron was striding into the circle and standing next to him, trying to brush Terendul and Vanimo away.

The Valar were silent, their expressions placid, yet an air of surprise had arisen.

"Would you please get off me?" Sauron said agitatedly, shaking Vanimo from his arm.

Vanimo looked to Namo, who slowly nodded his head.

With Terendul and Vanimo backing off, Sauron straightened out his clothes and regained the air of stateliness he had been try to scrape together with his entrance. He cleared his throat and then looked around the assembly as though he was suddenly unsure about what he was doing there. It didn't take him long, however, to regain his purpose. "I believe you should let Haldir go," he said plainly, hands clasped behind his back. "He was only trying to protect his sister. I would assume that to be a rather common undertaking for a sibling."

Everybody there still seemed too surprised at Sauron's appearance to say anything to this.

Haldir, unfortunately, was the first to find his voice. "What are you doing?" he asked incredulously.

This caused Sauron to fidget in such a way as to hint that he had considered this question and rather hoped that it wouldn't be asked. He shook his head, although it was clearly at himself by the shocked tone in his next words. "I'm going to take the blame."

Haldir felt his jaw drop, but Sauron didn't get the benefit of seeing it as he had turned back to the assembled Valar.

Namo was regarding Sauron was an expression that betrayed just a flicker of shock. "You have come here to receive whatever punishment we were to give Haldir?"

Sauron nodded. "I put him in a position where there was no possible outcome that could turn out well for him. In the end, the thing he had hoped to prevent by finally taking me to Eressea had occurred anyway, and he was simply trying to reverse this, which I'm sure he did quite effectively." He moved his weight to his other foot and messed a bit with his belt. "Had I not done what I had, Haldir would have had no need to console his sister, and therefore would not have revealed my true identity. The fault lies with me, and in that case, the punishment should too."

There was silence. Absolute silence, the sort which didn't necessarily seem to be the absence of sound but a thing unto itself. It was rather unnerving and uncomfortable.

There were more wordless glances between the Valar, which clearly irritated Sauron by the impatient tapping of his foot. He was quite obviously unused to being around such 'conversations' without being able to participate.

They seemed to come to a conclusion, and looked back to Sauron. Namo, who must have been the head of the meeting by all the talking he had done, spoke again. "Very well."

There was a small pause, but it was long enough that Sauron raised a brow. "Well, don't stop there. I'm curious to see what you're going to nail me with."

Namo shook his head. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Sauron replied, now puzzled.

"You did something _honorable_," Namo explained, "which we decided earned something of a reward. The reward is that there won't be a punishment. You both simply go back to the house and carry on as you did before."

Sauron looked shocked. "I'm not going to get a punishment?"

"No, unless you want one."

Sauron didn't respond.

Namo gave the smallest hint of a smile. "Just don't try to hatch anymore plans like that, and-" Here he turned his attention to Haldir. "-don't tell any more people."

There were few mumbled acquiesces at this after a moment of thought. Then Sauron and Haldir left the Mahanaxar, the gates shut behind them by the rather ruffled looking Terendul and Vanimo.

Neither of them spoke until they were quite a ways away from the gates. It was Haldir who first ventured to talk. "So…" he began awkwardly, "what made you decide to do that?"

Sauron frowned at him. "I do not believe that you would be able to fathom the complexity of the thoughts leading to my choice."

Haldir snorted. "You got a conscience, didn't you?" he asked simply.

After flinching at this, Sauron shook his head. "Oh, if Morgoth saw me now…" he muttered with a rather dejected expression. "I've gone so soft."

"Not soft, _noble_," Haldir said with a laugh.

Sauron made a face. "Noble is just a word you people use to make yourselves feel better about being soft."

Haldir continued to laugh, and after a moment Sauron cracked a smile, although he tried to smother it. "Don't get used to it, though," he continued gruffly. "I still plan on unleashing ordered chaos upon you and your family on a regular basis."

"I believe you," Haldir said seriously. "I wouldn't expect any less."

They walked on for a while, until Haldir finally got the courage to speak up once more. "Thank you for that, by the way," he said, aware of how utterly twisted it was that he was thanking the previous evil power of Arda. "You obviously didn't have to… and it wasn't expected. I really appreciate it."

Sauron shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, if you were off fulfilling your punishment, I wouldn't have you to pick on."

"If you were off fulfilling it for me, I wouldn't have been around to be picked on either," Haldir pointed out with a smirk.

"Don't make me regret coming here and doing all that," Sauron said, giving Haldir a small look.

Still smiling, Haldir shook his head. "I wouldn't dream of it!"

"Oh yes you would, but just refrain."

Haldir tried to be somber. "I do appreciate it, though. It was very nice."

Sauron grimaced, brows drawn together. "I know," he said in an almost pained voice. "How disgusting is that? Please don't keep bringing it to my attention that I did something kind without any thought of getting something out of it for myself. It's giving me a headache."

"You know, sometimes doing good things can make you feel good as well."

"Please," Sauron snorted. "I don't want to hear about the warm, soft fuzziness you think you feel when you do good acts. It's not worth your time to try to get me thinking that I should go and…" He paused, apparently trying to think of something that would be kind. "…make toys or something to give little children."

Haldir shook his head, both smirking and cringing at the thought. "I wouldn't want to ever see you do that. It would be a much too disturbing image."

"Well, at least we agree on that," Sauron said as he opened the door to the house.

* * *

Huzzah hip hip. I guess I'll go off an work on that epilogue of doooooom now. 


	40. The Epilogue of Dooooom!

Well, this time it really is the end. I want to say a HUGE thank you to everybody who has read the story and reviewed; you guys kept me going! There were many times when I just wanted to strangle the story, but, when I remembered how many people were behind it, I stopped and then trudged on. Thank you so much for your support and dedication.

While the story is done, I am pretty sure that I will go back and re-write the first couple chapters. Although I wrote those when I had a completely different plan for the fic, they now make me twitch and the obvious answer is to make them match with the rest of the story in tone and whatnot. I also am considering adding a bit to the drunken chapters, as I've remembered things I wanted to put in there and then forgot. So, I just thought I would tell you that, if anybody was interested in the future.

So, once again, thank you all sooooo much for everything. You guys have made it quite the experience.

Midnight Proc: You little speed-reading demon. Haha. I'm sorry that you don't like the longer chapters… but you won't have to deal with them anymore!

XNemesis: Well, everybody needs to take a break sometimes, hm? Morgoth seemed to be in a permanent conniption, to me at least. What a loony. Good luck with the essays and applications!

Lady Golodwen: Ah, you insist on making me figure out a way to condense my response. Very well. Uh… yes, hair clips would probably do that. We tried putting hair clips in my brother's hair, but it just isn't long enough. …Grammar nazi. /laughs/ Um… snorting is a funny thing, isn't it? Hehe. Ooh, and I made another clever! Hurray! Personally, I think it would have been entertaining if it had been Dom. Haha. Not very frightening. And yes, I am done.

Phoenix Golden Feather: I completely understand being busy. Thank you so very very very much for your compliment; it was so wonderful to hear something like that. It makes all the time and thought and research and head-banging-into-desk worth it. Hopefully I will get around to writing something else that you will like as much!

Crystal113: I can see why you wouldn't want to spit all over your keyboard. That would not be very pleasant. And yes, poor Haldir, for he always gets the short end of the stick. On the note of a gift-giving Sauron, there was a discussion about Sauron working in a toy shop for Santa Claus, but nobody wants to know where that led. Haha. And of course this is the epilogue of doom. Because doom is cool.

kingmaker: I love sarcasm… and that apparently shows. Personally, I found the scene with the Valar amusing, or that was the intent, at least. I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. Thank you so much for your reviews; I always looked forward to getting them.

Napolde of the Council: Sauron with a conscience. Go figure, eh?

Legolas's Girl 9: Yes, the story has finally reached its conclusion. It seems like a very logical place to stop. I'm so glad you love the story. I hope the epilogue meets up to standards!

Haleth Broadbent: I was rather worried about that last chapter, as I personally think Sauron was rather beyond getting out of his little evil habits, so I'm happy to hear that it was good. In a way, I will miss getting to write those annoying little chaps, as I have been for over a year and a half! Thank you for reading the story.

Spoofmaster: I can't believe you didn't think the shirt would start conversations! Haha, well then. I could have told you they would. It's not something you see everyday. Is it fun awkward, though? Egads, yes… now that I'm off this, I can help make the Pott story into something of an equally obscene length, I'm sure. Perhaps I will clean chapter six today. That would be productive in a non-productive sort of way.

* * *

After the last few days of showers, the sunlight seemed incredibly bright to Haldir. For a while, he had been content to squint, but now his face was getting tired of that and he resorted to holding his hand above his eyes. Unfortunately, this did nothing to block the glitter of the sun off the water. 

"You're sure they said today?" Rumil asked as he kicked at the grass a bit.

"Yes, I'm sure it was today," Haldir said, getting a bit irritated with this question. He had been asked it a multitude of times the last day or so.

There was silence once more as everybody scanned the horizon, looking for the ship that would sail in new arrivals from Middle-Earth. It was this ship that would be bringing Haldir's parents to Valinor.

While the family had been informed of the day they could expect their parents to reach Valinor, there had been no specific time. The closest it got was 'in the morning,' but that was woefully vague.

As a result, the household had been at the docks at sunrise, which had been a few hours ago.

It made sense that Rumil would be the one to pester about it; he was, after all, the youngest and most antsy. Well… Haldir glanced at Lalaith, who was younger than Rumil by about two decades, and reevaluated his statement to only note that Rumil was the most antsy.

Everybody else was getting along fine. As Orophin was there, he was able to keep Rumil from going completely insane from lack of activity. Elhith and Lalaith were sitting together near Orophin and Rumil, watching them attempt to make up some game that included two rocks, a stick, and a clump of grass.

Haldir watched thoughtfully as Lalaith spoke with Elhith. Lately, he had been having suspicions about those two. Within the last few months, he had noticed the subtle changes in their dealings with one another. Still, he had observed that Lalaith was much more hesitant, even though the whole incident with Sauron had been nearly six years before. At least she learned her lesson, Haldir figured, although he didn't fear anything from Elhith. He was as good an elf as any and didn't have a malicious bone in his body.

Sauron, on the other hand… well, he obviously did.

At that moment, in fact, Sauron was casually trying to convince Rumil and Orophin that it would be appropriate, given that there were two rocks, for each to take one and pelt it at the other. Haldir just shook his head as Rumil laughed maniacally and took both rocks, before running off with Orophin close behind.

"Iaewur is probably one of the most deranged individuals I have ever met," a voice at Haldir's side said with a trace of laughter.

Haldir turned and smiled at Raudwen, nodding. "Yes, he is that."

Raudwen tipped her head to the side in mock-thoughtfulness. "But even those sort of people have their uses, wouldn't you say?"

"Oh? And why would you think that?" Haldir queried in turn, trying to ignore the irony of her statement.

"Well…" She paused to tuck one of Haldir's errant braids -- for his hair had, mercifully, grown out again with no ill effects -- back behind his ear. "If he hadn't been around to drag you off to Eressea, there would have been little chance of us meeting, would there now?"

He smiled again at this and then caught her hand, kissing her fingers. "The likelihood would not have been very high," he agreed.

It seemed that Sauron had taken that moment to come their way. "Public displays of affection. How utterly vulgar," he said, shaking his head grimly.

Raudwen looked at Sauron, her chin jutting out as it always did before she did something defiant. As expected, she did do something, which ended up meaning that she kissed Haldir without any sort of warning.

While Haldir had no reservations against this, he knew that Sauron would goad him about it later.

Sadly, this 'later' came much sooner than Haldir would have liked. The moment Raudwen drew back, she curtseyed mockingly to Sauron before walking over to Lalaith, who had been sitting alone.

Haldir rubbed his neck and smiled meekly, knowing that he must have been completely red. It was no real surprise to him, therefore, when Sauron started to laugh at him.

Sighing, Haldir sat down and picked at the blades of grass while he waited for Sauron to get over it. Grass was pretty darn interesting, after all.

Sauron was still laughing when he sat down, but he was much more composed. "What are you going to do if she takes to acting up like that when it truly is inappropriate?" he asked, grinning.

"She only does things like that because of you," Haldir muttered. "If you weren't always taking on that chastising, reproachful manner around her, she wouldn't do things like that."

"And I would lack a large area from which I glean my amusement. Besides," Sauron said in what Haldir had long ago decided was his philosophical tone, "it wouldn't do for me to give her a false appearance, would it? I'm sure you don't want her to think I am an alright person and suddenly show my true colors, do you?"

"Well, you never gave me a chance to voice my opinion on the subject, so it doesn't matter terribly much, does it?"

"If I gave you a chance to voice your opinion, that would mean I'd have to listen to it," Sauron noted with a snort.

Haldir nodded. "Oh yes, and we wouldn't want that."

"Of course not." Sauron leaned back with his arms behind him and his legs now stretched in front. "But there really is no harm done. She keeps you on your toes, and that's good for you."

"I daresay," Haldir said, finally daring to smile.

Now Sauron yawned, rubbing one eye with the palm of his hand. "I wish I hadn't stayed up so late last night. It made this morning very ugly."

"You didn't have to stay up, you know."

"Of course I know!" Sauron snipped. "But, seeing as it was my first night of freedom, it seemed to warrant some celebration, so it was worth it. It's just annoying now."

Nodding, Haldir looked out over the water again. Yes, two days ago they had both been called to the Mahanaxar, but casually by letter rather than personal entourage. Once they were there, the Valar had given Sauron the ability to move about Valmar freely. He had, after all, been extremely well behaved, for him. They had expressed their surprise at his conduct, and had so decided that he could be allowed to go about Valmar, at least, although his original sentence said he couldn't for an age.

While Sauron had made a motion to regain some of his former power rather than be allowed freedom to go around Valmar, this had been quite flatly denied. He had given a rather irritated sounding sigh, but had not pressed the matter. When Haldir asked him about it later, Sauron had said that it would be better just to bide his time, as he knew they wouldn't change their minds until they were good and ready.

After telling Sauron of their new decision, they had also informed Haldir that his parents would be arriving in Valinor.

And so they were all there now, waiting for the ship to finally arrive. It was apparently taking its sweet, sweet time.

"I never did hear what exactly you did last night," Haldir noted.

"That would be because I never told you."

Looking at him, Haldir blinked slowly. "I realize that."

Sauron smiled, but made no indication that he planned to respond further.

"Why don't you just tell me what you did before I end up hearing about it in rumors."

"I assure you, I did nothing that warranted rumors," he finally replied, and then frowned. "Which really is a shame."

"What did you do then?" Haldir pressed.

"I went for a walk."

For a moment, Haldir thought there must have been some double meaning to this. "What does that mean?"

"It means that I walked. You know what that means, don't you? You've done it before."

"I know what walking is!" Haldir said indignantly. "I just didn't figure you'd do something that dull."

Sauron snorted. "I was perfectly content with it, as I got some time to examine the city on my own and think. It would only have been dull to those who are not capable of thinking on a level to keep themselves entertained. Such as you; you have to be doing something to fill up what you lack in thought."

Scoffing, Haldir turned away. "You fail to realize that I spent years at posts, completely alone for days on end."

"That must have been incredibly taxing on your abilities."

Haldir figured he wouldn't dignify the conversation anymore by replying. This only caused Sauron to laugh at him again.

Through this, Haldir remained silent. When Sauron's laughter tapered off, he humored Haldir and let him have his quiet. Every once and a while, the breeze would come up off the sea below the hill they were on and bring a wave of cool, salty air. The relief was temporary, though; the moment it was gone, the sun seemed hotter than before.

"It would figure that today would be cloudless," Sauron muttered. "The first sunny day this week, and we have to come out."

Haldir gave a small laugh. "It is pretty bright, but it's good for you. You don't go out nearly enough."

"And whose fault is that, pray tell?" Sauron rejoined, raising a brow.

"I don't think you'd go out even if I gave you the option. Besides, you could always come along to the weapons shop, if you were so bothered by not going places."

"That sounds like so much fun, sitting around while you teach little children archery." Sauron shrugged nonchalantly. "But that is not the problem at the moment. The thing is, it's just…" He looked up, squinting and blinking furiously at the sun overhead. "…It's so bright. And hot. You're not the one stuck with having a collared shirt."

"That is true," Haldir said with a short nod. "But that's your choice to wear them."

"Oh yes, because it would be preferable for me to go without," he stated dryly. "That would simplify things, I'm sure. Not start any uncomfortable conversations."

"You never know."

Sauron looked at him. "No, I actually do."

Haldir shrugged this time.

They both were quiet again, their attention turned back to the sea. It had not been very long before Sauron broke the silence. "I see the ship."

"No you don't," Haldir said, even as he searched the horizon. "Where?"

Sauron sat up and raised his hand. "Over there," he said, pointing to a place slightly to their left with his pinky. Haldir had found this habit rather amusing in the past, but had gotten so used to it by now that he didn't really notice.

Indeed there was a ship, although it had taken a couple minutes before it had gotten close enough for Haldir to make out. "I'd say it would take two hours, at the least," Sauron reasoned.

With an aggravated sigh, Haldir stood up and brushed the grass from his tunic. "Well, I'm hungry and sick of being out here at the moment. Do you want me to pick something up for you, or would you like to come along?"

Sauron seemed to consider this, and then stood up. "I'll come along."

They found the others, who had all congregated together down by the shore, and told them of their plans. Haldir was suddenly quite glad that Sauron had chosen to come along; there were many requests for various things, and he knew there was no way he could remember them all.

The next half hour was spent looking for a vendor who would allow their dishes and such to be taken back to everybody else and figuring out how to carry seven meals between the two of them. In the end, both things were accomplished, and the food was distributed and eaten.

So, by the time all of that was done and the plates returned, it had worked out to be roughly two hours. Haldir suggested that they should go down to the docks then, as he noticed that there seemed to be a few groups going that way.

By the time they had navigated their way down the slope and onto the docks with the other people, the boat had made it into the harbor. That being the case, it was only a matter of minutes before it was moored to the dock and the gangway set up.

The first people off the boat was a group of little children, who ran down the gangway while looking in almost every direction at once, giving little gasps and cries of wonder at everything around them. They were followed by a few couples that were clearly the parents from the ranging emotions of mild embarrassment to exasperation or slight amusement their faces betrayed. After these there was no clear order; it was simply everybody disembarking as quickly as they could. There were many exclamations of surprise by those getting off at the faces they found waiting for them, and the dock was quickly full of the chatter of people as they sought to catch up with each other in the shortest amount of time possible.

Finally, nearly at the end, Haldir saw his mother and father. They were talking together as they looked around the docks and nearby city, clearly not planning on a reception.

So, it probably was a shock when they stepped off the gangway and were accosted by Rumil and Orophin.

Orophin swung an arm over their father's shoulder, smiling at the astonishment on his face. Rumil, meanwhile, had picked up their mother and spun her around.

"Rumil!" she gasped and then, even though spinning, noticeably frowned. "Put me down!"

"Aren't you glad to see me, Mother?" Rumil asked, grinning as he let go of her.

She steadied herself, and then sent him one of her wilting 'mother' looks.

"Ooh… that's good," Sauron whispered to Haldir. "I'm impressed."

Haldir had to fight down a laugh at this, knowing that if his mother caught him laughing at what she would obviously assume to be Rumil's tactics, the look would be directed at him.

"Are you all here…?" their father asked, looking at everybody.

"Yes, and then some," Orophin replied, releasing his shoulder as they approached.

"They all came out to see us?" their mother questioned, a smile breaking across her face instantly.

Lalaith now went and hugged them both, whispering things to them that Haldir couldn't hear. After that, Haldir figured that it must have been his turn to greet them. They both expressed their surprise and elation to see him out of Mandos already, a subject Haldir carefully skirted.

Both parents were practically beaming now, looking at all their children happily, when Haldir figured that he should make some introductions. "This is Elhith," he said, nodding at Elhith, who had been the closest to their father and therefore the most logical to introduce first. "He helped me get accustomed to Valinor after I was released."

The classic pleasantries were exchanged, Elhith living up to his amiable mood as always.

Next would be Raudwen, as she was in front with Haldir. Naturally, Sauron had chosen to be in the very back, as far removed as possible.

He gave Raudwen's hand, which he had been holding, a gentle squeeze. She interpreted this and, after touching his arm comfortingly, stepped forward with him.

It was very hard for Haldir to ignore the look his parents gave each other, as he could clearly read what it said and found it rather embarrassing. He had made no secret of his distaste for relationships when he had been in Lothlorien, even though his parents had insisted that he would come around eventually. That being the case, the look plainly said "_well, well, well, what do you know_?"

His mother might have realized Haldir's unease, and gave a small smile. "And who is this?"

Haldir glanced at Raudwen, who smiled at him, and then turned back to his parents. "This is Raudwen…" He paused for a moment to swallow. "… my betrothed."

Raudwen had been about to curtsey but, after a gasp, Haldir's mother quickly pulled her into a hug. "If you are to be family, there is no need for such formalities," she explained with a smile. She then held Raudwen at arm's length to look at her. "I always knew that Haldir would learn to have some taste eventually."

"Mother!" Haldir hissed, utterly mortified.

Raudwen, however, merely laughed, and took the other woman's hands. "Well, I wouldn't pass that judgment so quickly," she said, looking back at Haldir, who was still too distressed to speak.

"Nonsense," his mother dismissed, continuing to grin from ear to ear. Her smile softened a bit, and she added more seriously, "It truly is wonderful to meet you. If you were able to get that boy to change his views, you must be a special woman indeed."

With another small laugh, Raudwen greeted Haldir's father, who was much more appropriate, or so Haldir felt. The flush in his face had barely receded when they had finished speaking.

Now Haldir was a bit thankful that Sauron had been in the back, for his introduction would take some of the attention off Haldir. Clearing his throat, Haldir motioned to Sauron, who paused a moment before stepping forward. "And this is Iaewur."

Sauron, who could always play the part with great flourish if he felt moved to do so, bowed. "It is an honor to finally meet you," he said genteelly.

Both parents seemed a bit taken aback, but also quite pleased. "And how do you know him, Haldir?" asked his mother, her smile appearing again.

"He is my friend," Haldir said simply, surprising himself at how smoothly that had come out. It wasn't something he had ever said before, and yet there it had been. There hadn't been a pause or anything.

It took him a second to realize that the ease it had taken to speak the statement had been because it was true. And for once, the thought didn't really bother him that much.

"Well, I'm sure we shall be seeing much more of you then, Iaewur?"

Sauron nodded. "You will no doubt get sick of my company rather quickly. Haldir and I have been practically inseparable, haven't we?"

Haldir could tell by the quirk of Sauron's lip that he was trying not to laugh, something Haldir found himself attempting as well. But, as nobody -- except Lalaith and Elhith -- would understand the rather bitter humor that went with that statement, it was better not to laugh.

A happy chatter rose up now that all the introductions had been made. Raudwen leaned against him as they left the docks, sighing happily, and Haldir couldn't help but smile. While it had been a pleasant reunion, he couldn't say exactly why he couldn't keep the smile from his face.

It was then that he understood that everything had classically fallen into place. His family was all safe and together again. Lalaith's attention to Elhith made it clear that she had healed. Haldir himself was to marry the only woman he had ever cared for in such a way. And Sauron had, apparently, permanently settled for annoying rather than evil. That was a nice change.

After years of being on the edge of his sanity with worry and stress, Haldir finally felt like everything was where it should be. He could see the path of the future clearly before him.

He couldn't, however, see the path he was physically walking very clearly. A large clump of grass had been stuck in the road, perfectly positioned to catch his foot.

While Raudwen had been able to keep him from falling, she could do nothing about the laughter that came from Orophin and Rumil. "Why don't you look where you're going?" Rumil asked, still laughing at him.

Haldir picked up the grass, although Raudwen had protested weakly, and made to throw it at Rumil.

Suddenly, however, he discovered himself lacking the grass. Looking back, he found Sauron shaking his head. "That is not the way to solve your problems," he said calmly.

Haldir gaped at him. "Oh, please! Give me the grass back!"

"No." He had a forced-peaceful expression on his face, his eyes closed. "You can't use the grass." Slowly he opened his eyes, a impish smile crossing his face. "But you can use a rock."

A rock now replaced the grass. Haldir looked at it, frowning. "That's really horrible, you know."

"Yes, of course," Sauron agreed.

Haldir grinned and then tore off after his siblings, the small rock firmly in his grasp.

Raudwen shook her head at them. "If it weren't for you, I do believe he'd be a perfect gentleman."

Sauron laughed. "Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?" he asked her as they caught up with the group.

"It wouldn't be as interesting, I suppose," she acknowledged.

"No," Sauron said, watching with mild satisfaction as Haldir successfully hit Rumil in the back. "No it wouldn't."

**The End**


End file.
